MMP Episode 318: GRIT
In this week’s catchup episode, Laura and Jess share life updates, including navigating summer logistical loads, wildland fire wife life reflections, summer camp fun, highs, lows, and all the real talk in between. Tune in for real feels around what finding resiliency and grit through motherhood has meant to us. We see you, mamas. Thank you for being a part of this incredible community!
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MMP Episode 318: GRIT
MMP Ep 318: GRIT
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Laura: [00:00:00] Hey friends! Can't wait till Wednesdays to get your Modern Mamas fix? Join us on Patreon. You can choose your tier, and when you subscribe, you'll get bonus content, early access to Retreat, first peeks at new swag, plus shoutouts and even real time monthly virtual hangs with us. Visit
Jess: patreon. com forward slash modern mamas podcast to check it out and support the podcast.
It truly means the world to us. We are so grateful for you and for this community.
Laura: I love my mama.
Hi friends. Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.
I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough, [00:01:00] and mindful
Jess: movement. And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a level one CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a master's in kinesiology, and mama to Bear and Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.
Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners, and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Hello, and welcome to another episode. Sorry, I like took a glug of my sparkling water and just got verpy.
So it hit me right when I was about to say, Hi, welcome to the podcast.
Laura: And he's been like, if any of us burp, she like mimics it. It's really adorable and gross at the same time. Speaking of gross, I'm sitting in my car as we start this episode, and I'm going to slowly transition as I can inside. But there's a gentleman. [00:02:00] Across the street right now, and they're like doing yard work in his front yard, and I'm looking at his butt crack.
So that's, you know, burks and butt cracks. That's how we're gonna kick this one off.
Jess: It's the vibe. That's my view. It's the vibe today. And behind me, I'm watching our
Laura: nanny slowly walk to the playground with the girl that's just like hiding in the car until they're finished.
Jess: Safely down the street,
Laura: because if anybody sees me, things won't go very well.
So that's where, that's where my thing is today.
Jess: Yeah, you know, again, the theme, the theme is just we're, we're doing the best we can and we're here. Yeah. And we're here. Yeah. We were supposed to record, again, just like full transparency. It's like, there's just a lot of pivots going on. I'm sure Laura is going to share more probably when she gets inside, but you know, there's just a lot of pivoting for both of us in this season and summer is amazing and also especially Challenging to like routine, I think for so many people, and so we're just out here rolling with it.
We're trying. We're making the best of it. And if you're [00:03:00] in the similar boat like we see you, we see you, you know, because it's like it's so hard because it's like it's summer, at least for me. I'll speak for myself. I like, I want to do all the fun things and, you know, you know, all of it, like, I want to have a good time and, you know, soak up the time with the kids and we do for the most part.
But at the same time, it's like trying to balance like, I still need to work. And so does Tim and, you know, it's just, you know, the kids bears in soccer camp all week and then Cammie's doing her first camp ever, which is a volleyball camp that she expressed interest in doing and she's never played volleyball in her life, but she really loves that it's indoor.
So, and just, it's just like logistically, like a lot of moving parts. So,
Laura: yeah, yeah, you know, we have, I've tried to like maintain some rhythms, but then we just got the first like three weeks of Rusty's fire season that just been so intense. And then in layering on top of that, our nanny was in Hawaii for two weeks.
So we had this nanny set up. We had these routines and [00:04:00] then she left right when Rusty was at Academy straight into unexpected dead. Like two really long days of actually fighting fires right out the gate on top of the day after 4th of July having, having to be the day that he left. And so should he do this work next year, which it's looking like he will, I will mentally prepare for like right around 4th of July.
Fireworks are a thing that create fires. So last week was just like really intense. I know when we were supposed to record, I was not in a good headspace. Like I literally lost track of what day it was. And you texted me and I was like, Well, fuck. I am like, I just, I was not there. I was playing catch up with cross at work.
I just wasn't in a space where I could hop on. And it's not that this space isn't comfortable for me to share in whatever headspace. If you listen to our last catch up, you quite literally listened to me go from like frenetic to grounded because of the episode. But I just had to, my logistical load was too, was just too long and a little bit too heavy that morning.
So thank you to Jess [00:05:00] for audibling. And now it's Tuesday morning. Rusty is home from fires. Our nanny is home from Hawaii, and I have had an opportunity to take some really deep breaths. We went camping, and I'm sure I'll share all of these updates, but that's why, you know, I'm just so grateful for the flexibility to be able to shift, to shift it up, because like you said, summer is, it's just logistically, challenging.
And also, hello, Enneagram 7. I want to do all of the things. So, and we're sandwiched right now between two friend visits. So my friend Shelby was here last weekend with her family and my friend Sarah, who I've talked about on the podcast before. We've never met in person. We met because of the podcast.
She's flying her whole family out to come visit us this coming weekend. So
Jess: are they flying out just to come visit you? Or is it like in addition to like a trip? I think they've been excited to
Laura: see this part of the country and they were gonna, she was going to come to the retreat. And Santa Cruz and then that didn't happen.
And so she saved her [00:06:00] credit and I was like, Hey, just the right things out there, like you're always welcome to come and come out our way. And so they got on Airbnb and I already have a sticky note with all the, and she's very, her head works like she loves that. I have a sticky note with like day by day, what we're going to do.
And like the morning she's, they're getting in late Wednesday night. I won't see them until Thursday afternoon because I still need to work Thursday, Friday mornings. And then we have like, it's like, you know, naps like that kind of. It's like a brick that grounds us down in the day, and then it's like after nap, just full fun day plans, and then there's, so it's like Thursday afternoon, Friday afternoon, and then all day Saturday, most of the day Sunday, and then they'll head towards Seattle.
It's a trek to get here. So like anytime friends visit, I'm just so appreciative. There's so much to do and see, and it's absolute magic, but we live two and a half hours from the airport. You know, you fly in and then it's like, then it's still, it's still for many people, two and a half hour drive still is like, that feels like maybe a travel day in and of itself.
So it's a big one. And so I'm always grateful, but it was so special [00:07:00] getting to share a little bit of our home's magic with our friends last weekend. So yeah, I'm sure I'll share more updates on that, but I feel like I often go first cause we're like trying to hedge off kids waking up and now this time I'm going to slowly work my way inside.
So. What is going
Jess: on in your world? Yeah, I, you know, a lot, a lot of good things. I'm trying to think, I don't even remember the last time we chatted. If that was Patreon, or if that was a Ketchup episode, and when that was. Did we chat before 4th of July, or was it after?
Laura: Do you remember? We haven't chatted since 4th of July.
Cause that's when I was like, in it. So right now we're one week since, and definitely have not recorded in the interim. Okay. Okay. This week we have, today we get to record for all of you, and then on Thursday we're recording our July Patreon episode, so we'll get to exclusively to our family there, which is steadily growing, and we are so very grateful.
Jess: Yes. Yes. Okay. [00:08:00] Now my mind, my mind is set. My framework is set for, so like, well, I don't even know how far to go back, but it's only a week. I can do that since the 4th of July. What do we do for the 4th of July? Oh, we, we had a pretty chill, I don't know, like I, I love the 4th of July, but you know, having young kiddos and.
For the last, like, you know, nine, ten years and, you know, it getting late or dark, like, super late here, for the most part, we haven't, like, really done fireworks. And so our kids, like, we've done, like, sparklers. I think last year we, we went to, no, was that? No, that was New Year's. Like, they've done sparklers and stuff for, like, different holidays, but, like, we've never been, like, huge on, like, fireworks displays.
And so we just haven't, like, really done a lot on Fourth of July. So this past year, and plus, like, I just, like, to be real, I've mentioned this probably every summer of the last, like, [00:09:00] six summers that we've been doing this podcast. Texas in July is literally the worst. It's just the worst time. July, August is like the dog days of summer where it's like 100 plus every single day.
It's been especially bad this summer because what we've been hearing is that while the temperatures aren't necessarily exponentially hotter than they have been before, the nights are not cooling off. Like, the temperatures are staying elevated into the evening, which is also Like what is putting a lot of just like it's just miserable like the whole time like you don't even wake up in the morning and get any respite from like that the heat and so anyways, we it's just it's hard to like, like I am crazy, crazy envious when I see like y'all are outside and like, you know, listening to music and like at the lake and like, you know, doing stuff where it would just be like Um, even with [00:10:00] water involved, it's like pretty rough here.
And so there's not a lot of outside time. So what we did,
Laura: what if you guys moved here and we could record all of our podcast episodes in person and we could raise babies together and we could spend our days at the lake and you could help me when wrestling fights fires and it would just be, I'm just throwing it out.
I know.
Jess: And every summer, every summer, I like, it becomes a very, like, I will utter at least 10 times, like we need to move. We need to leave here. We can't do this another summer. I mean, but like, seriously, I think eventually I don't I mean, it would be wonderful if it was close to y'all. But I think eventually we will migrate somewhere cooler.
And it would be it would stop. It's gonna make me cry. It would be lovely if it was close to y'all. I mean, that's just like pure magic.
Laura: I can't even to be honest, like I can imagine it, but I can't let myself because I feel like if I fully imagine it, [00:11:00] then I'll feel all green. If it doesn't happen,
Jess: we'll hold it loosely in our palms.
I think it would be lovely. But yeah, I mean, it's, it's just wanting that, just not being able to do any, uh, like outside stuff for like, I mean. And to be totally honest, again, like Texas, it only gets really bearable outside like maybe three or four months out of the year. And so, it's just, there's a lot of good things, there's a lot of things we love about it, but like, just for people who really do like to be outside, it's, it's tough, it's really tough.
So, the other day, we were just complaining and complaining, and I was like, I wanted to go, I want to go for a walk, but it's too hot, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you know what, like. I can't let this stop me. Like, I'm gonna have to, like, I just have to go. Like, I have to get out there and, like, sweat my ass off and just deal with the consequences.
And so we did. We went as a family. It was fine. There was minimal complaints. But, yeah, it, like, we had to go at, like, 8 p. m. So, anyways, back to what I was saying. Fourth of [00:12:00] July, we ended like, a big
Fourth of July kind of, like, there's, like, games and competitions and, like, special food. And so we went and did that most of the day and then came back and then just like chilled out and the fireworks display was minimal. Like, the, we live downtown, and so one of the city's, like, major fireworks display is, like, literally a mile away from us.
But it seemed pretty minimal, in terms of, like, disrupting sleep and everything. And our neighbors kind of kept it on the down low, too, which was nice. And the dogs didn't get too freaked out, because our, particularly one of our dogs gets a little bit stressed with big noises. But we chilled, and then that last week, kind of the biggest thing, I guess I'll share here, is I am doing a trial photography, food photography run, and I, there's no reason I can't share.
She didn't say I couldn't, but I am [00:13:00] doing some food photography for The Defined Dish, which is Alex Nodgrass. She's like really big in the paleo, one of the like OG like paleo food bloggers. She has like many cookbooks. We have one of hers that we cook from often. And so, uh, I think she has, like, Side Dish, which is, like, this brand of hers that has, like, sauces and they're paleo friendly and all that.
And so, just through some connections, kind of started chatting with her, and I'm gonna do a two month trial and see if it's a good fit. It's, it's, it's hard because it's, like, I have a very particular style, and while I can adapt that for sure to other people's, like, Aesthetics and stuff, you know, it's just I think we both want it to just be a good fit and in many different ways.
So we're going to give it a shot. So I did four recipes. Tim helped me in the kitchen because that's like the hardest part. The thing that takes up a lot of the time is like having to cook everything, take it back and forth [00:14:00] because nowadays like blogging me. You have to do an ingredient shot, which is like everything laid out beautifully and like measured and then you have to do like step by step photos.
I think this is like an SEO thing that like Google requires now essentially to like promote blog posts. And so you've got to do stepwise photos. So it's like cooking and then bringing it back and then you've got to do the stylized final photos and like doing it solo, which I've done before many times.
is a lot of work. And so I roped Tim. He happily helped me. He did the cooking and like prepping and then I did all the like photography and styling and all of that. We did four recipes over two days and they turned out really good. I, I love them. I mean, of course I'm like nitpicky and just every time I go back and look at them, I'm like, Oh, I should have done this.
I should have done that. But overall, really, really, really happy with how they turned out and was really nice to like work with Tim and the kids were at his mom's those days. And so we just like cranked up the music and [00:15:00] had some fun, which is really nice. And so that's been a really fun day. Just an exciting thing.
I am also in chats with another blogger that's really big that I won't share just yet because we haven't finalized anything, but that's exciting. And I feel like my food photography businesses is growing, and I'm just trying to be mindful of like, you know, pricing is so hard. It just is really like a difficult All right.
Like conversation because it's all over the place in this world but trying to like price myself to where it makes the most like I'm not feeling burnt out at the end of the day because it's a lot of work and Then also trying not to take on too much work to where it's like incredibly overwhelming And so just trying to find that like balance because I'm still doing work with Cassie photoshoot days and you know all of that and so That's been really good.
Like that's a really positive thing that's been been happening. The last couple of weeks is just kind of building that side of my business. And yeah, so I'm trying to love it. And really, it's [00:16:00] cool to watch
Laura: you like coming this kind of like full circle place where you know, you invested the energy and time into the retreat you went on and just send it.
Showing up consistently, not necessarily like hours and hours and hours of your day or your week, but, but just staying consistent and continually working your craft and sharing snippets and it's, it's coming to fruition and that's just so cool to witness.
Jess: Thanks, friend. It's getting hot in here. So take a wait.
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Yeah, and it's like, it's really hard, like, cause this is... Something completely different. Creative work to me is just completely different than like production work. You know, like a lot of my life has been solely around just like producing. I [00:18:00] mean, some of it, there's an element of creativity to it, but like, it's like producing content and writing emails and writing blog posts and, you know, showing up in different ways.
And what I'm learning with like the creative wow. Like creative work is like, can't be forced, otherwise it's like, it's all wrong and it's like learning. It's teaching me a lot, like honestly, just to kind of like the ebb and flow of creative work. It's like, it's hard, but also a really good for me to just kind of know that it's not a bad.
Yeah. check off the list type of thing. I mean, obviously there are deliverables and like projects have certain things that I'm delivering, but at the same time, it's like just creating space to be creative. It's a little bit redundant, but like making space to be creative and not necessarily having this, like just specific timeline to produce, I think is really good.
It's really good for me. It's been, it's been good. So that's a [00:19:00] big thing. Bear is at soccer camp this week, which I've been. Really nervous about he had a soccer camp earlier this summer and it was a half day camp and this This camp is a full day camp and it's just hot. It's like it's real hot It's over it's gonna be over a hundred every day this week.
Plus I just read there's like this happened I think last summer too. There's like this Saharan dust cloud that's gonna be like chillin over Our area for like a week and that's happening and something that we were having to look into a little bit deeper now as he gets older is, you know, he has allergies like real consistent daily.
Allergies. And so, of course, you know, I'm trying to look at some holistic options, but I think our next step is to kind of like do some testing because I mean, he's basically like snotty 24 7. His eyes are puffy a lot lately, especially. And so we're trying to [00:20:00] figure out, is this something like, is this like environmental?
Is he allergic to the dogs? Because we've kind of thought that for a while now. And so I think we're going to like pursue some testing before he goes back to school just to kind of check in on him because he also has an inhaler that he doesn't have to use very often, but like when he gets, so he's, since he was a kiddo.
For various reasons, I won't dive into, but I think he, you know, he's kind of struggled with breathing, like he would get, we thought it was croup. I've shared about this on the podcast before, but we thought it was croup that he was suffering from because he would get that hacking, like steel cough, like all the time, all the time, like every other week, he would get it and it's stressful.
And you're like, Oh, my God, he has croup. Like, what's what's going on? We've got whooping cough. Like, what is this? He was diagnosed with reactive airway disorder, which is basically just like his airway is super sensitive to like dust and, you know, allergens and all of that. And so just doing a little bit more of a diving into that because I can tell it can really affect him.
So he has [00:21:00] his inhaler with him, long story short, at soccer camp just in case. But yesterday he came home and he was like dead tired. It's just, it's been a while, like most of the summer he's been. Yeah, we've just, we've been taking it pretty easy and so he had a great time, but he was definitely like wiped.
And then, like I mentioned, Cammie has her first sports camp this week. She I don't know, I think she was feeling a little bit kind of like left out in terms of like, because, you know, we were like offering all these things like camp opportunities for her like, do you want to go to art camp? Do you want to go to music camp?
Do you want to, you know, do musical theater? I think it would be right up her alley, but she said no, and she was like, you know, I was listing off all those things, and she's like, I want to do volleyball, and I was like, volleyball, which I'm really excited about. I played volleyball, and I loved it, but she is interested and excited and excited.
She's my girly who's like, I don't want to do outside sports, and so she's excited that it's [00:22:00] air conditioned inside, Which That's amazing. Were there any cooking camps? We offered, we, I mean, cause she goes to cooking class every week and they have camps and we were like, you could, you could do that. And she's like, no, I don't want to.
So she thinks she is, I love her. She knows what she wants. She knows what she wants. And I think She is also like much more of like a cautious like when it comes to doing things like that and I was like this as a kid, I was talking with Tim, like I've definitely grown out of it and I grew out of it like probably around like middle school, high school, but like as a kid, I was an only child for seven years and I had like basically no Child interaction for those first seven years, and I remember like anytime my parents would drop me off like anywhere.
I would cry. I did not want to go like I did not want to be with people. I did not know. And so, like, I feel for her and I feel like she's gonna step into her her own, you know, maybe, but I feel like she will because she has a [00:23:00] strong personality. And she's very confident. It's just, I don't know. I think there's just a little bit of like, she just takes a little bit of time to warm up.
And so we'll see. We'll see how that personality develops over time. But yeah, she's just rather stay home, I think, and be with us. She just loves it. Like she, you know, we let them have screen time probably a lot more than and
stuff. But yeah. She's always the one who's like, is it time to turn the screens off? And I'm like, you can turn the screens off anytime you want to, like, you can, you don't have to watch TV at all. And so she'll be the first person to like, turn it off just on her own and like, go find something to do. So she's just, she's, she's fun.
We have a good time. But yeah, I mean, those were like the main things. I don't think there's anything huge other than that. Just summer stuff. Just summer stuff. Just, we're in it. I realized we only have. Like a month left until school starts. It starts on August 14th. Because you guys start in August. Yeah, August [00:24:00] 14th, and it's flying by.
And, oh, Kimmy has, her birthday is on June, or July 22nd. And, so. No, my God, it's not July 22nd. That's when her party is. It's July 21st. Sorry. I've just been dealing with all the logistics of the birthday. I had to correct that because I felt horrible. Her birthday is July 21st. And so we have a little party and she again, like she, I was like, do you want to invite everyone from your class?
Do you want like, who do you want to come? And she's like, I only want like, she wants, she doesn't want it. Like a big party. She wants she has five people that she wanted to invite and amazing. She just yeah She's just like I don't know. She's just my little I don't know how to describe her, but she's awesome So we have her party coming up and then bears birthday in August and he's like, I want to invite the whole school So that'll be interesting they're completely different he wants to do like an indoor [00:25:00] sucker party which actually exists And so then we're going to probably indoor everything there.
Oh, yeah, totally. There's indoor options for literally everything. So we'll do that. And then we're trying to cram in, I say cram, but we're trying to get in a trip down to the beach to visit Tim's brother. And go to, you know, play on the beach a couple days, too, before school starts, but I don't know. I mean, there's only a couple weekends left, which is just bananas to me, so.
We're doing it!
Laura: That gives me anxiety just to, like, share a couple weekends left. I know! A
Jess: couple weekends! That makes it sound completely different than, like, a month. Yeah. Yeah.
Laura: So. We are August. We've really, like, it's very full. We have all of August. Like, like, in the olden days. We start after Labor Day, which I feel like is when you're supposed to start school.
It's so weird that schools are starting in August, but yeah, EB starts the day after Labor Day. So we've jam packed August, unintentionally, but also [00:26:00] it's working out well. But yeah, gosh, that's stressful. I can't imagine starting like early August. And then my friend Nicole, her kiddos start like the first week of August, which is just crazy to me.
Yeah.
Jess: Yeah. That's bananas. I don't know. And I don't know if maybe... I don't know. It's like the best weather, too. Yeah. In most places. Well, not here. Maybe not there. Yeah, not here. For sure. But
Laura: like, both California and here, it's like, there's like, kind of like, the June uary, I mean, our June here was better than I have ever experienced it.
And people who've lived here, like, their whole lives have said the same. It's been insane. Which is also why Rusty's had a very busy start to his fire season, where usually there's like a gradual lead up. But here, it's like, August, September is the best. The absolute best. Even like, early October. So it's like, you know, it didn't bother to be in school.
And, like, back to it all, and it's awesome.
Jess: Yeah. I'd rather shift our summer days to, like, a winter break, like, a longer winter break. but, like, you know, for us, November, December weather, it's perfect. [00:27:00] It's
Laura: dreamy. I know. That's why we've done our retreats out there. I'm still kind of feeling like we should do it this year, just in Texas, again, because it's so nice.
It is. My friend Shelby, who was just here, she's a teacher in California, and so is her husband. He teaches at the university level, she teaches elementary school, but. Like, they, they go back, like, she goes back August 4th, I think she said, and, but they, she's like, we get a two week break at Christmas, we get a full week at Thanksgiving, she's like, I will take, get rid of all of that, give me, like, barely a week at Christmas and, like, just Thanksgiving weekend, and then I, she just wants to, like, tack that on in the summer because in California, you know, it's not like the winters are bad weather, but.
They, you know, they travel and they're both teachers. They want to really maximize that time off. They always go out to, like, Idaho and Montana to visit friends. They just came out here. They take a big road trip. It's like, it's hard to just, and I'm going down there in August, the, like, mid August. I'm going down for almost a week now.
And I don't get to see her because the only availability I have in Santa Cruz is during the week. And she's working. And so it's just like, ah, that's hard. It's like, in my mind, I'm like, what do you mean? It's August. It's still summer. [00:28:00] But apparently not for everybody, so.
Jess: Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I feel like they should, yeah, they should consult teachers and families about the cadence of all of this, all of these times off and daylight savings, like all of it.
I feel like they haven't consulted the right people. I just,
Laura: I made a conscious decision. It was funny. I was getting into sleep last night and like, we are just on a solid hour later bedtime now in the summer. I'm like, I am just deciding to opt out of time change as far as our kids sleep goes, like, period.
I'm opting out. They will just go to bed an hour later in the summer and, but I know this is not the case for everybody, but my kids sleep later when they go to sleep later. It seems to be like an hour later bedtime leads to like an hour later sleep in. And so that, I will just take it and I decide on my own, I'm going to quit you, time change, because you're stupid.
And so that's I quit you. Plus it doesn't get dark here till 10 p. m. It's like summer solstice. So why push for a [00:29:00] seven o'clock bedtime, 730 bedtime when there's still many hours of daylight left. And I tend to be able to just function on less sleep in the summer because my body like works with the, with the seasons.
And so we're just, we're savoring it and staying up a little bit later. And it's been, it's been nice. Plus Rusty doesn't get home when he's not out fighting fires. He's at the station and he gets home at 615 and 630. It's like, I don't want to be like, okay, you get an hour with daddy. So we're just, you know.
Push it back a little bit. And that's been really nice.
Jess: That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, our name of the season. Ours is naturally our bedtime is naturally like pushed back during the summer because we're like, you know, it's like the only time we can go outside. So it's like a lot of our outside time is like eight o'clock.
And so we definitely have pushed ours back and become really lax just because we wanted to get more time together. But unfortunately, ours are the kids who Like they're still up. I mean, bears up at seven. I mean, we had to tell him you can't come out of your room before seven. And [00:30:00] it's like clockwork every day on the dot.
Seven. He's up. We hear the door open like he's ready to go. So I think Cammy would sleep in a lot on her own like if they didn't share a room because she will do that occasionally but like Bear is just he's just he's got an internal alarm. He's just a I don't, I don't know what they're called. Like, he's just a morning bird.
I don't know. That's not the right term. He's like me. Yeah. Yeah. I get him.
Laura: Oh, like a birthday party with everyone? Great. Up at five? Cool. Let's hang out. That's him.
Jess: Y'all do share a lot of qualities, which is... Lovely. Oh, man. I love it. Hey there, friends. Pausing this episode to share a bit about our wonderful friend, Brianna White, a fantastic real estate agent based in Bend, Oregon.
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Check her out at Brianna Selzbend. That's b r e a n a cells bend dot k w dot com. Brought to you by Brianna White, broker with Keller Williams Realty, Central Oregon, Equal Housing Opportunity. Now let's dive back into our episode. Well, anyways, what's going on in your world? Give us the latest. I know Rusty went on his first fire.
I know like a lot has happened since we last chatted.
Laura: Yeah, Rusty. So I think when we last chatted, he was away at Academy. So it was 10 days gone. It would be like a couple texts a day, that's all I would get. He got home on a Thursday evening, had to [00:33:00] wake up the next morning and go to another full day of training at the station.
He got off a little bit earlier. He got off at 4. 30 that day. So we, I went and took the girls and picked up pizzas at our favorite sourdough pizza truck. And we met him. There's this really cool, sorry, I'm going to talk about all the outdoor stuff. So just prefacing that. I'll try not
Jess: to hate you too much.
Laura: We had this really cool park called Railroad Bridge Park and they, there's like tables and all this stuff right along this river. And so we brought the pizzas there and we had, I grabbed a cider for me and a beer for him from our favorite little tap room. And we just enjoyed a sip and pizza and let the girls play.
And it was just like the dreamiest way to welcome them home because we just missed him so much. And I'm learning and I've said it here and I've said it everywhere. Just time outside is best for my mental health, for the girls, space to run, all of that. So we just got to enjoy some river time, came home.
Then the next day was Saturday and that was his, that is the only day he's had off since June 20th. And it is now July, whatever, [00:34:00] 11th, 12th, so he's had one day off in almost a month because so then we, he had his one Saturday off and I'm like, okay, we're going to do everything. That day was, it was wonderful, but it was also a little bit hard for me just to be.
Because I'm like, this is your day off. Like, I want to do all the fun things, you know, but we had a really lovely time. We did our, we like went to, you know, he spent the morning with the girls. I got a little bit of work and alone time and went to farmer's market by myself. And then he had a date with Evie while I got Indy down for a nap.
And then we spent the afternoon and evening in the backyard. We did sourdough pizza and all the things. And then he was back to work and that was Sunday before 4th of July. He was back at the station, which his, he leaves the house at nine. He gets home about 630. So his, his quote unquote weekend is Wednesday, Thursday, so he was at work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.
So 4th of July. He actually, they had him on a, he was on like a 14 hour shift because, just preemptively, cuz people are idiots. I love you all and set off fireworks, but also stop it. You are not authorized. Be
Jess: responsible. Have some safety precautions. How does it happen? I [00:35:00] know. What, what's it, is it the ones that shoot up heavily and just
Laura: shoot fireworks that are supposed to be like the legit ones that go in the air and they shoot them like horizontally.
Oh. And they hit a tree and then it lights on fire and then it's like houses get burned out. It's only recently that our like inner city town limits made them illegal. And people obviously don't, still don't listen, but I mean, and I don't, I, we have, I'm like all about, you know, fun and spontaneity, but to a degree, we have the most insane fireworks display here that we can see from our backyard, like there's no shortage of fireworks that people still, they get excited.
I get it. It's fine. But now that it puts my husband at risk, I'm like, Hey, but anyways, so he worked a long shift. I took the girls to the beach in the morning. I was gonna like spend the whole day at the beach with friends and like I just had a very full day and I am really learning in this season to slow the heck down.
I don't have to do everything all the time. I'm trying to and knowing that this season of like stellar naps for Indy is [00:36:00] short. Just be like, this is the summer where we oftentimes, not always, but oftentimes prioritize nap, which means we were out at the beach in the morning. We were home by nap time. I got her down.
She took like a three hour nap. I was able to prep a sourdough galette and I made sourdough hot dog buns and we had afternoon plans to barbecue with our really good friends here who happened to live like basically next door. And Indy, Evie just like drew art for everyone in our family and we had a nice mellow midday and then loaded up the wagon with like a cooler.
With some drinks and stuff and ice cream and then our coats and, uh, galette and buns.
Jess: Did you say you brought your coats?
Laura: It does cool down here at night. Like if you look at the next week, it's like, the day is like 75. The night is like 57. So we have to bring layers everywhere.
Jess: Not really, but like, I'm gonna cry. That sounds lovely. It's pretty awesome. And I used to, for
Laura: me, I used to be like coming from California, I'm like, it's, it's just too, it doesn't get hot enough here in the summer. I've totally [00:37:00] changed my tune. Like this past weekend, I don't think it broke 77. And I was like, I got plenty of sun.
We were plenty hot. I'm acclimating and it's like. I like that we get, we get snippets where it's like 85, maybe upwards of 90, maybe on like a super crazy heat wave. But then we're at the lake and we're in the water, which is like snow runoff, so refreshing. So yeah, so we went over there, we barbecued, hot dog buns, all the things, and then we can walk downtown.
So we walked downtown and it was, this was really my girl's like first Fourth of July parade experience. And so we walked down there and we got a fun surprise. Rusty texted me like right before he's like, Hey, I'm driving the engine through the parade. So we were down there and like watching all the everyone go by and then he got to drive their wildland fire engine through and Evie just like the look on her face.
It was beautiful. How sweet. Yeah, and then we walked back up to their house and we did sparklers in the backyard and then we cruised home and got the girls like bathed and everything and then Rusty walked in the door at like 9. 50 p. m. Firework started [00:38:00] at 10. 15. He walked in right as I was getting Indy down.
And then we can see the fireworks from our backyard. So Evie was like hell bent on staying up for them. So we stayed up and watched the fireworks. I called it about five minutes in. I was like, I literally can't keep my eyes open. Plus, if Indy had woken up, I didn't want her to like freak out. So I just went to bed.
And right when he walked in the door, he's like, So I have some bad news. I've got to get up at four, be at the station by five, and we're heading out to a giant fire out in Forks at 530. It was a very quick turnaround for him. I mean, we're both exhausted. It's like a kiss. Like, you can see both of our eyes are just, like, very tired in very different ways, you know?
But his, his Fourth of July was mellower. Like they weren't out. I think they fought one, I don't even know if they fought a fire. They went and, like, monitored stuff, but, you know, then they had, like, a potluck at the station, and he drove the engine through. It was the next day that was intense. He like literally fought fires, actively fighting fires aside from like 15 minute short breaks for like 14 hours.
So he left at four or [00:39:00] like 4 30. Walked back in the door at 8 30 p. m. On the 5th. He was covered and like soot and dirt I was like nobody touch him go take everything off throw in the wash take a shower But like his face was just brown except for like where he had his glasses on. I'm so grateful He buzzed his head.
So then yeah, and then he had to turn around the next day So Wednesday was supposed to be his day off. That was his 14 hour fire. Came home slept Barely same thing the next day and he's worked ever since so he hasn't had a day off He basically worked so he got, I mean, it's good pay and this is what we signed up for, you know, but he hasn't had days off and so tomorrow.
First of all, our nanny's been, it was also in Hawaii that whole time. So she's back today. This is her first day back. He, his engine is first on the list to get called out to like Eastern Washington for big fires because our temps have dropped a bit here, but he has tomorrow off barring any fires locally.
So we are prioritizing a date and I'm so excited. So yeah, so tomorrow he should have [00:40:00] the day off and then he'll probably get called away on Thursday. So I'll have one day off and then when, when he gets called away out of town, It could be gone for three weeks. So that's a lot, but we've got friends coming into town this weekend.
I've got my nanny back. Also like in the midst of all of that, I signed Evie up for summer four school camp, which has been great, but the week that he was in at Academy was her only week that I signed her up for four days. And I, I don't like the word regret, but I learned a lot from that because I didn't have help much help.
I was like scrambling to get help with like pickups and drop offs because pickup is right when Indy's napping. It's a 30 minute drive each way. And it's really validated our decision to have her in Montessori Kindergarten next year, a block away. Just they don't have time, it will say, so the rest of the summer, it's like sporadic and she only has no more than two days a week and we have some help with pick up and drop off now.
So that was, it was just like those two weeks. I, like, look back, I'm like, I, I, I don't, I don't know how I did it, but I did it, and I'm proud of myself. We can do hard things. There were moments. [00:41:00] There was, like, a, kind of a special moment, to be honest. It was the day after the 4th of July, when Rusty, like, unexpectedly was gone for 14 hours.
I was, had been banking on that day, and now I, again, this is all lessons, because it's looking like this is gonna be more consistent work for him, and so I'm learning a lot as I go. But there was a moment when I just, like, Evie was fighting me on getting dressed because that's the thing that she does, like that's, I know it, it's a sign to me, but also sometimes it's just really hard in the moment.
She wants me to like, literally sit there and like, help her choose her clothes, but even if I'm trying to help, she doesn't want what I choose and, and I know that that's just her way of like, getting. That time together. Anyways, so I just and then Indy was like yelling at me from the kitchen and I literally like dropped to my hands and knees and then like kind of went into like fetal position and I just started taking like really deep breaths and she knows like I'm not trying to do that to be a martyr.
I'm not trying to like show her anything. That's what I need in that moment to just like keep, you know, to feel what I need to feel and not freak out. And I'm just really [00:42:00] grateful like our family does not default to yelling. I feel like I broke that generational kind of like trauma of like the yelling family and we didn't scream at each other growing up, but when you're mad, you yell, when you're frustrated, you yell, like that kind of thing.
And now it's just like as a family unit, we stop whatever we're doing and we just breathe and he's already doing it. So anyways, and she just came and like gave me the biggest hug. And we just sat there and I, and I was like, okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pick out an outfit. If you like it, I need you to please put it on.
If you don't like it, I need you to please choose something. And so I picked something out and then I gotta go check in with Indy. She yelled from the bedroom, Mama, it's her feet! I started crying. I was
Jess: like, oh,
Laura: it's all I needed to hear was that this outfit was okay, you know? And then, and then we got her off to school and it was like, it was just a lot.
That day felt like... a lot, but we did it. And I was, I'm so grateful again for our community [00:43:00] that we, I could, you know, we've got two mama's helpers. So I was able to get in for a little, little bits of time for chunks so that I could at least get some work done. And so, you know, just more lessons and like, I can do this.
I can get things done in the, in the cracks and also prioritize fun. We still went to like music in the park and just making sure that I'm also embracing summer because otherwise my mental health will like seriously struggle, but also saying no to things when it feels like too much. So. Finding the quote unquote balance that doesn't really exist, saying no to things, cancelling some plans, but also, like, embracing others.
I got a date with a girlfriend on Friday, which was, I had a nanny come, which was so great, and so, just really leaning on community heavily. And there's been times with, with Forest School when, like, that Wednesday when Rusty, And I was just like, there's a mom that I literally met for the first time at the Fourth of July Parade.
His daughter goes to the school. We like connected really well. She's awesome. Indy loves her daughter. I was like, Hey, can you just like pick her up? I had, I was like, I had a meeting, like I didn't know what to [00:44:00] do. And I texted her and I felt totally comfortable doing that. And just asking for help again, just learning that it's, it's okay to ask for help, you know?
And I was like, can you just pick her up, hang with her for like an hour and then I can come get her when Indy's up and my meeting's over. I didn't end up having to use that, but. The community of our forest school is just, it's so cool. Everyone is just so, you know, and I would never just ask a stranger, but it was like, we connected really deeply.
I spent the whole afternoon with her. I felt comfortable with even going there for a little bit if, if needed. And we didn't have to utilize that, but just the fact that I could ask if we were in this season two years ago, when we had just moved here and hadn't developed these kinds of relationships, it would have been exponentially harder.
So, you know, amongst the difficult stuff, there's so much gratitude for the fact that he has this work. That we're like doing okay financially, because in full transparency, when he had his surgery, things were pretty, I didn't like fully say anything about it because it's a weird thing to talk about, but things were very scary financially for us.
Very, very scary. And so, and then the community rallied and we did the GoFundMe and [00:45:00] I, like, that, again, still no words for that, but then just to be in a place that we're like, okay, we're like, take some deep breaths, we're going to be okay, having, like, freedom. Or wealth of time does mean sacrifice sometimes and freedom or wealth of finances and so we're fine.
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Jess: No, you're, you're doing, you're You're doing it. I was gonna, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but how is, is this cadence like all year round or like, will Rusty work, have this position all year round? Or is this like a seasonal thing?
Well, we
Laura: don't know. He's seeking and looking for opportunity. He's having conversations, nothing's set in stone. He could end up with a year round job with the DNR. It wouldn't be fighting fires year round. It would be, he'd kind of settle into, it'd still be within the same department in the wildfire stuff, but more like, Management and planning in the offseason and then fighting fires in the, in the summer.
Or there's also [00:48:00] opportunity to become like a permanent seasonal employee basically where they still like quote unquote lay you off for three months out of the year. And then you're just, you know for sure that you're coming back for the other nine months. And so that's another option. He's just, he is thriving.
He is an engine lead this season. He is taking on, he's just, he's, he's meant to manage and lead people because he does it with such like grace and humility and desire to, like, do well by everybody. If you know, wrestling, you know, this to be true. And so, it's just been really cool to see him. You know, he was bond to not be able to work as many crosset seminars, but he's just, he's doing an incredible job and he comes home excited.
And that to me feels really good, especially because for the last year, you know, Last year he had that job, that sales job, that was like, I could just witness it slowly crushing his soul, and this is building him up, and it's, it's cool, and he's also like, you know, coming from that terrifying surgery situation, to be able to trust his [00:49:00] body again, you know, it served him through 14 hours of fighting fires, and that's, I think that's been really good for him to see and experience as well, so.
It's a lot, there's a lot of learning happening and, and meanwhile the girls are just like growing so much I can't believe how old Evie seems at six and her art, she got basically like all art stuff for her birthday and I'm looking at this cow that she drew and like she's doing like this crazy like mixed medium art where it's like She cut out multiple different hearts and like is taping them or gluing them together and then this cow that she placed on there and like the different colors she chooses.
I mean, I know I'm her mom and so I'm biased, but it's really cool. And then Indy is like talking more than any, in my memory, any 18 month old I've ever met, like full, like sentences. Completely blows my mind. I'm just proud of them and we're having a lot of fun. We went camping, like I said, we went camping this past weekend with my friend Shelby and her family, just locally.
Went to Thin River for the day on Saturday, and then camped at the same campground where we camped for Evie's birthday, and then spent all day Sunday at the lake. And then that goodbye was [00:50:00] hard. We both cried. Because it's, you know, you have your, like, chosen family, and it's, it's like we're raising babies together, but we see each other twice a year, and that's just hard.
And then Sarah's coming with her family this coming weekend. And then there's a really fun Lavender Festival here the weekend of the 21st, which is also the weekend my sister's getting married in Germany, which I have shared here that we had to make the really hard decision not to go, which again, it's just parenthood is hard.
It requires a lot of tough decisions, but we had to prioritize like our girls and it's just not the season for us financially or with two young kids and with Rusty doing fire. So we'll be home for that. We got the Lavender Festival. And in the meantime, I've got like I think between now and the end of July, I have like four single night camp trips, just like kind of locally.
And then I don't even know if, like the last weekend of July just keeps like disappearing for me. I have no idea what's even happening. But then the first weekend of August, I'm teaching my last sourdough workshop of the summer out at Fin Rivers, like granary. So that should be incredible. The [00:51:00] backdrop in the Chimicum Valley is just unreal.
And then the next, and then two days later. We're camping for five nights with our friends on, on Lopez Island, which is one of the islands of the San, the San Juan Islands here, which you've never been to, and I've wanted to do it for so long. So my friend Emily, who's been on the podcast and her husband and their two girls are coming up, we're going to camp, and I, I've already been like role playing the conversation with my boss, who's going to be nothing but 100% supportive, but I think I'm going to really truly ask for like five days of no work.
Because I love my work and it's been actually a really nice constant and we've relied heavily on the income. But now Rusty's bringing in a little bit more. I have not taken time off since, I only took one week when Indy was born. And it's, it was less work then and it's gradually built up. But I'm working to the point where like I'm getting well enough ahead in my tasks that are like kind of exclusive to my skill sets on our team where I should be able to take the five days away.
And I want to do that. I want to just be wholly present with my [00:52:00] girls. I think I'm going to take the full five days like off social media and I'll come and like do a recap when I get back and just like really be off and I, I feel like that will be just so good and so important considering like things have just been, it's been a lot.
So looking forward to that and then I get home and just a few days later I'll be flying down with the girls to California. My aunt is putting on a like wedding party for my sister because a lot of our cousins and aunt like can't make it out to Germany. Okay. And so we're going to have a fun party for her in Santa Barbara.
So I'll go down, spend two nights with friends in California, in Santa Cruz, and then we're going to drive down to Santa Barbara, have the party for my sister. I'm so looking forward to that. And then we'll drive back up, fly home. And then, three days later, I turn around, my first longer road trip with both girls.
We're going to drive to Bend, and we're camping for two nights in Sisters, and then we'll spend two to three nights with my friend Emily again in Bend. And then we get home and we'll kind of just cruise into Labor Day weekend, and then Evie will start school. So, we've got a full rest of the [00:53:00] month, it's going to be great.
Or rest of the summer and then she'll just start consistently four days a week at Montessori school walking down the street. And then I, I tentatively have a nanny share also set up in the fall with a friend who I met at the forest school who's got a little one about Indy's age. So I'm feeling like really set up in the fall to kind of take on more.
It's looking like my contract for this quarter is just renewed with CrossFit. So it's more of the same versus like I was kind of talking about getting something more permanent. And in many ways, just continuing what I've been doing feels like a relief. And there's been a lot of change within the company, so hopefully come fall, there is shifts in that direction.
But for now, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for Rusty's consistent work. I'm grateful for flexibility and time with the girls. I'm grateful for just like a kind of a shifted headspace around all of that. And looking forward to the next month and a half. Now that I, we've got, I really feel like this first month of his work was just, it's been so intense leading up to it, you know, with all the uncertainty about his health and then it's [00:54:00] starting and then with Evie's birthday and like logistics and getting the nanny set up and now we've met the nannies and we have a routine and I feel like I can, I look ahead to the rest of summer and I'm like, okay, I can, I can do this and I've got therapy set up and so it took a lot of logistics and scrambling but now I'm like, okay, this is, this is very manageable and there will be hard days.
But there's also a lot of fun ahead than as a seven, I'm sure you know, like that, that just keeps it going.
Jess: Yeah, I love it. It sounds like you're really, it's like, it's, it's different, you know, in regards to like, you know, for instance, like rusty working that sales job working so hard and it was like draining him.
He's probably working just as hard, if not more hard with this job, but I feel like there's such a difference when it's something that like lights you up versus and when you're sacrificing you like, You're so much more willing to make sacrifices, and even with you, like, for your partner, when you see that this is, this is a [00:55:00] good thing, like, this is a positive thing, this is a cup filling thing, like, not just for Rusty, but like, for your family, like, I don't know, the sacrifices just feel a lot easier.
Not easy. Maybe not, maybe not easy. Yeah, and he comes home at the end of the day. No, not easy. Well, yeah,
Laura: easier for me, for sure. And in many ways, in a plus, like, this time of year. I, frankly, I like to do more than him. I like to be more social. I like to get out of the house more loading up the car with food and sacks and going to the lake is a lot easier for me than it is for him.
And I don't have to, I don't have to like. In many, like, in full transcript, I don't have to worry about it. So in some ways, like, that's easier too. It's like, we're gone all day, we get home, he's there to help with bath and bed when he's not, like, away, away. And he, because he loves the work he's doing, even though it's physically demanding, he has, it's been wild to witness how much more capacity he has to be present with the girls at the end of the day, even though he's been, like, active and [00:56:00] physical and fighting fires than when he was working a sales job and, like, standing in our basement.
In soul sucking work, he'd come up at the end of the day and like, have hardly anything left. He would still show up, but I could see that it was taxing, where now, he gets home, and sometimes he has to play like, he's like laying on the bed, you know, but he's still mentally engaged with them in a way that he wasn't able to be in that job.
It's, it's, when we do work that fills our cup, you know, that, that overflowing cup then can, like, go into the other components of our life. But yeah, it's wild, and it does, it makes it. Knowing he likes the work and plus when he was working a sales job, he was like down in the basement so I could be like, there was this like in the back of my head, I could just call him real quick when things got really hard and now, and now I can't, he's not available and so it's not even an option and when it's not an option where I, for me personally, I'm able to show up more for the hard things because I don't have any choice.
Yeah, that's the way that it has to be. No,
Jess: that makes sense. Like, I, I'm the same way. It's like, if. I would, I would be viewing it in the same [00:57:00] way. It's like, if Tim's here, I'm gonna ask for help. If he's not, if he wasn't here, like, you just adapt. You just learn, and you figure out how to make it work, and you put things in place, like you obviously already are, in terms of, like, help and, like, planning and all of that.
Like, you plan for as much as you can. And then you just adapt when things don't go exactly to plan. So that's all you can do.
Laura: Grit keeps coming to mind. My friend Nicole used it in like a really cool post that she wrote. And you know, she lost her husband a couple of years ago. And she talked about CrossFit and motherhood and how like, those two things in tandem have like built in this grit.
And I like that word. And I don't see it as like, I think it's such a, a cool way to describe what we grow into as moms. Because we have to. And I don't, I don't say that begrudgingly. I'm proud of it. It's it's pretty cool. Mamas were pretty badass
Jess: in every season. Absolutely. And I think grit is just another word for resiliency.
[00:58:00] It's like the ability to just keep to bounce back. Like, obviously, things are gonna be hard. You're gonna have challenges and that's gonna bring you low, right? Like some things. But like, how do you stay there? Like, how do you react? Like, how do you move forward? Yeah. And how? Yeah. So anyways,
Laura: and grit doesn't mean like gritting your teeth and not caring for yourself.
I think we can only develop that resiliency and that grit by making sure that we still prioritize taking care of ourselves. Otherwise that grit and resiliency turn into
Jess: like bling. Oh, totally. Totally.
Laura: Yeah. You can't build it if you don't build yourself up to as you take on life's challenges. So. Yeah, and we have to rely on each other, like I did last week when you texted me and I'm like, I literally cannot right now.
And you didn't even bat an eye. You're like, okay, when can we do it? You know, when can we get it in? And I just, it means so much. So thank
Jess: you for that. I love you. I want you. I want always the best for you and for the podcast too. It's like, you know, it's best for both of us and everyone involved when we make those types of [00:59:00] decisions to pivot and then we get to show up like this.
I bet. With perspective. I bet.
Laura: Yes, totally.
Jess: Anyways, well thanks for filling us in with the latest. Yeah, thank you too. I love it. Mom and do some other work this afternoon, but I love you, friend. I love you too. We've
Laura: got some jam packed work. Get the kid down for, the baby down for a nap. all the logistics and then we're gonna go get sourdough pizza and listen to live music and it's gonna be lovely.
This is how my days work. It's like logistics go go go and then in the summertime then it's like I try and like become a ghost with work at about three.
Jess: That's, I think that's a good rhythm. It's a good rhythm. Start
Laura: at four,
Jess: wrap at three. Great. Start at four. Oh my gosh. I don't know about that but yeah.
I've been
Laura: sleeping until, like, 4. 45. Oh! So, that's, I, I know, it's wild, but I mean it. I'm trying to, like, let my body wake up when it needs to, you know? So, it's been, like, close to, it was, like, 4, between 4 and now it's, like, 4. 30, 4. [01:00:00]
Jess: 40. So. Every little bit counts. I'm sure your body's happy with that extra 45.
It'll take it. Wee! All right, friends, Thanks, everyone. Yeah. All right. We'll chat soon. Bye.
Laura: Bye. What did it say? Thanks for listening to our
Jess: podcast.
Laura: See you next time. Thanks for listening to our podcast. See you next time. Bye.[01:01:00]