MMP Ep 342: Being Sober Curious with Ally Vaughan

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friends! Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.

I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough. [00:01:00] And mindful movement. And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a Level 1 CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a Masters in Kinesiology, and Mama Tiberian Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners, and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Modern Mamas podcast.

It's just here. It's a guest episode today, which is always so exciting for me. Today, I'm gonna just, I'm gonna just jump right in because I feel like we have a lot to talk about. I am chatting with my friend Ali Vaughn, and did I say your last name right? Yep. Okay. I, I usually double check and it seems pretty straightforward, but it's all really weird.

My last name is Gertner. So we, we, we have that in common and it is Ali's [00:02:00] here and we're going to be talking about something that actually I've been sharing bits and pieces about. Throughout the last year, probably more because I feel like I've been on this path for quite some time, and it's a hot topic, and I get asked about it a lot when I do share about it, and so we're going to be talking about this concept of SOPR curiosity, and woven within that, we're also going to be talking about, you know, the why's behind how, why a lot of people are actually Getting more and more interested in this concept of sobriety and what, what kind of triggers that interest and I mean, it's just, it's going to be.

There's going to be so much. Thank you for coming on today, Allie. I'm so excited that you're here. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I love having this conversation with other women and other moms because it's such an important conversation for others to hear. I mean, we can get into this, but so many people feel really alone.

And they're [00:03:00] kind of looking into their relationship with alcohol like I did and I just like to tell people like, Hey, you're not alone. Like, it's okay. We're here too. So I'm so happy to have this conversation. Oh, yeah. And I I'm like thinking of all these things. I want to I want to talk about just already.

But first I'm going to introduce you Hey, guys. For the, for, for the audience, just so they can kind of get a background or an idea of your background. And why are we even talking about this today together? So Allie is a certified professional coach and transformational embodiment facilitator who holds a Bachelor of Science in Human Nutrition.

Allie is dedicated to helping people live their best lives. Allie's passion lies in sharing her personal journey with anxiety and through that journey, how she quit alcohol. Having made the life changing decision to quit alcohol two years ago, she's on a mission to empower others, especially fellow moms, to explore their own relationship with alcohol without the need for a rock bottom moment.

Alcohol has a remarkable way of hindering our well being, our self expression, and personal growth. And Allie firmly believes that we owe it to ourselves to embrace a little [00:04:00] sobriety curiosity. Join us as we dive into insightful conversations about living a fuller and more authentic life without alcohol.

And I just, I love this, I love this intro, I love the fact that you, we're already even touching on our introduction. A little bit about your journey, and I love that, obviously, this is a concept that's not just for moms, but absolutely with the You know, obviously with our audience too, but also with this like culture, this like mommy wine culture, I'm just going to go ahead and say it, is like, you jumped right into it.

I mean, I definitely, I usually stay away from like a hot topic buttons, but this is one that I just feel has affected me personally and one that I've definitely, and I think you mentioned how kind of like your journey started in 2020 for me, this idea that like, I think a lot of things happened in 2020 with.

Like the pandemic and just the ripple effects from that. But it was like [00:05:00] during that time where I was like, it's five o'clock somewhere. I mean, while it's like noon, this is how we were like dealing, at least how I was dealing with some of this like stress of that time being home with our kids and trying to work and trying to teach them school, you know, trying to do all the things.

Meanwhile, there's, you know, this global pandemic going on. And it was then where it was like. We were drinking almost every day. Every day. Yes. Every day. Almost every day. And that's when it really opened my eyes. Because honestly, I've never, I've never considered myself a person that has a problem with alcohol.

I actually get really sick very quickly. So I'm not one to like heavily drink in any like given circumstance. But it was that. There's a ways around, there's a way, there are ways to drink a lot without drinking, like binge drinking, you know, daily drinking. I feel like you're [00:06:00] telling my story right now, like we're very similar.

Yeah, and so just to give context for why I'm really excited about this, this topic is because A, I've been there, B, I've personally been affected by and really like embrace that like Malmö wine culture being like, yeah, let's just drink a bottle of wine to get through this. Life is so hard. Bottoms up, you know, and that that's been me and obviously no judgment because again, I look back at that person and I really do feel like I was doing the best I could with the tools I had at the time and you know, I, I just want to kind of like give that Jess a hug and be like, you know, like, it's okay, you're going to come out of this, things will improve, but I also want to say that like, if you are a person who finds yourself in that position and You know, kind of drinking daily to quote unquote cope like there are, you know, hopefully this topic will like open your eyes to maybe potentially a [00:07:00] different way to manage those manage the stress of life.

So I don't know. I'm just really excited. Yeah. And I really appreciate you bringing that up as like, Hey, no judgment here. You know, everything that Jess and I are going to share from here on out may not put alcohol on this pedestal that society has for all these years, but I don't want any of your listeners to feel any shame or guilt because Really, we both were there.

And again, like I'm coming from a space also of not having a disorder, like you said, alcohol, like called an alcohol use disorder. They don't call it alcoholism anymore, but this is really for those people who are like the moderate drinkers who aren't, you know, needing alcohol, like the second they wake up and that kind of stuff.

Like that's a whole other topic. And there are Places to get help for that. And we can maybe put that in the show notes, but this is really for, I want to say for that mom who, you know, is having that glass of wine or that cocktail when their kids, you know, when they're [00:08:00] making dinner or their kids are going to bed or they feel like they need to every time they go out with their friends or to book club or to mom's group and that kind of stuff.

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We also add it to pancakes and oatmeal, and I smoothies this summer. Don't wait. Go grab yours and save 15 percent. That's paleovalley. com forward slash [00:09:00] modern mamas. Enjoy And all that to say even though I you and I don't personally have an alcohol use disorder and I'll speak for myself here pretty candidly I my life has personally been affected by people very very close to me with severe alcohol use disorder and severe consequences of that and And same so it's like It's just, it's not just, I guess my eyes have been opened in such a way that like alcohol.

Well, I will be the first to admit I have fun when I drink alcohol in the moment. And it's always been a fun thing for me in that way, but. My eyes have been open to the really dark side of what that can look like. And so I think it's just, it's more than that for me. Whereas a lot of people, thankfully, gosh, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but like, thankfully it is still [00:10:00] maybe just this like fun tool, at least in their eyes, without, without like a further.

Understanding of really what even though the quote unquote fun tool might be how it might be affecting you. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Again, I feel like you're sharing my story. We have very similar stories here. Yeah, it's really interesting and I'll get to my kind of like my whole story and what led me to where I'm at today in a second here, but I want you guys to know is like, so Jeff mentioned, I have a degree in nutrition and I've worked in the health and wellness space my entire career, I've always worked in some capacity of helping people live healthier, better lives.

And interestingly enough, like it wasn't until I decided to give up alcohol and to started to really do a deep dive into, you know, what a life being sober looks like and learning about what alcohol was doing to my body where I actually discovered the science and [00:11:00] discovered that there's this whole vast world of like what they call it, quote unquote, quit lit, right, of books about other people, you know, and their sobriety journeys, but also like the science behind alcohol, what it's actually doing to their bodies.

And here I am like this science y person who thinks that she's so smart and I'm like, Oh yeah, like wine's super good for your heart because there's like resveratrol in it. And you know, I worked in the supplement industry for years and I used to be in sales and I used to wine and dine all my clients who, mind you, were like, These big wig, you know, functional medicine practitioners and here we are just drinking and, you know, basically pouring what I know now poison onto our bodies and We just didn't know the truth, and it's mostly because it's kind of hidden.

There's a really big industry out there that their main job is to sell alcohol, and that is why, you know, we can get into, like, all the marketing and especially with the mommy wine culture. But that's why we're [00:12:00] not hearing all of this. So I felt so alone being a very highly sensitive person to alcohol, right?

So I. Enjoy drinking. It was part of my social life every single weekend from like basically Thursday to Sunday. It was basically like then Monday to Wednesday. It was like the detox to then retox again, right? And but I always was like trying to outsmart my body because I was always feeling like hungover and tired and I didn't sleep well.

And I would have like little, you know, panic attacks in the middle of the night when I drank and I was like, what is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? And it wasn't until I quit and started really diving into the science that I realized like, it's not me. It's alcohol. Like there is so much science out there that shows, can I go over a little of that right now?

Well, yeah, I mean, do you want to start with that or do you want to start with your you've already kind of like jumped into your like kind of [00:13:00] journey, but I don't know how deep and how far we want to go back there before we like jump into the facts. I'm either I'm open to either approach here. Okay, let me just, let me lay out just a couple of facts and then I'll go back into my journey.

Yeah. So these things, these were all very like eye opening to me and I, again, I was shocked being this, you know, person who called myself a nutritionist. I couldn't believe it, but alcohol has an impact on sleep. Like it actually influences your amount of REM sleep and that's the deep sleep that you get.

So if you are like, well, I slept last night, but you feel like you've been hit by a truck or run over by a truck or whatever they say. It's because your REM sleep or your REM sleep was lessened. Alcohol actually has an impact on your anxiety. So people hear it called hangxiety, but what happens is in our bodies, alcohol comes in, it's a relaxant and our body's main job is to like keep our bodies in like homeostasis, you know?

And so it kind of overshoots with these like hormones and stuff and you [00:14:00] basically then wake up at like 3 a. m. in a panic because your body has like overshot and you have this Kind of like the severe anxiety for a couple of hours. Another thing to note that I was like blown away about is that it actually raises cortisol levels and disproportionate to like other hormones and where they're supposed to be.

And that level can stay increased in your body for a while, even not continuing consume alcohol. Wow. So even if you're only drinking a couple of times a week, you're still being impacted by alcohol for. For the whole week, essentially. Yeah. And then the number one thing that blew my mind, and then we'll go back to my story, is alcohol is known to cause seven types of cancer.

It is a type one part. It's a type one carcinogen. It's up there with asbestos, it's up there with tobacco, and I literally could not believe it. Like my, the past [00:15:00] eight years of my career has been about getting safer products into the hands of other people, and I'm pouring alcohol at events that I'm selling these products at.

And I was like, wait, what? That is so bananas because it's like, I think people almost get defensive or I'll speak for myself. I don't want to like generalize anyone else. But even when you said earlier that alcohol was a poison, I was like defensive. I'm like, do that. Because again, say like, I am so dedicated to safer, safer products and avoiding, you know, things that are potentially harmful to our systems.

And then when I heard it described as poison, I was like, well, no, it's just alcohol, you know? But then. I remembered and I've heard this before, and I was actually going to ask you, it is classified as a type one carcinogen. Like it is like a controlled substance. I'll be a very like. Just everywhere. It's ubiquitous, right?

I'm like, right. It's one of those that's like socially [00:16:00] acceptable. And so therefore people don't think of it as being like harmful. Sure, but it is. It's a, it's a drug, right? Like, and that's another thing that we haven't barely scratched the surface on for people who really struggle with addiction.

They're like, this is not just like, I'm not going to have any drinks anymore. Like it's like. Your body is literally needing this and I think it's so interesting because a lot of times people will be like, I need to drink to relax. I need to drink to fall asleep. Like it helps me, you know, fall asleep. It makes me sleepy, you know, all that stuff.

But really thinking like, yeah, it may help you fall asleep. But like when you're actually asleep. You're not getting, you're not getting the sleep you need, you're not getting the sleep you need, so it's just backfiring and it's just so interesting because I had never heard about the cortisol thing because I always think like, I'm more relaxed, I'm more fun, like, you know, all these things that I thought I was more of with [00:17:00] alcohol is actually on a cellular level, not doing what I wanted to do.

So absolutely. And I think that the problem that a lot of people run into and you know, that basically prevents most people from actually thinking about their relationship with alcohol is that it's been a constant in your life. You know, I started drinking in my late teens and early twenties because it was like the cool thing to do.

And then it's like you turn 21 and society praises you for being able to drink and that's all you're supposed to do to celebrate to it. you know, to grieve, to do everything. Like alcohol is supposed to be involved. And yeah, it's just, it's just wild to me that this substance that is this chemical, sorry, this poison, like alcohol literally breaks down to ethanol, right?

And you hear ethanol and you think like, oh, like gasoline, like. It essentially causes cancer by [00:18:00] biological mechanisms as the compound breaks down. So you're not just putting alcohol in your body, you're putting it in your body and then it starts to break down into these substrates and these other things.

And that is what causes all these problems. So people are like, well, what about the quality of the alcohol? What about, oh, I drink organic sulfate free wine, which hello, I'm guilty. Like I used to drink that all the time. It doesn't matter. Yeah. It's not the beverage. Yeah. Okay. Truth bomb there. Needed to hear that.

Okay. Yeah. And again, that's why I share that one because like that was the biggest one for me was just like what alcohol really is and what it's doing in her body. It like blew my mind because I'm like supposed to be this like healthy person. And it also like made me feel less alone because I was like, okay, I'm not the only one that's not sleeping well.

I'm not the only one that's feeling sick. I'm not the only one that's feeling anxiety. So let's [00:19:00]talk about anxiety because that's a big part of my story. Okay, well, let's yeah, let's just jump in. Let's jump into that. And then you just take free reign to take us as far back as you want to share as much as you want to about your story and how this all kind of how you came to be.

Okay. Part of this like whole person coaching program and all of it. Take it away, Allie. Okay, here we go. So we talked about the pandemic. So essentially my story, I like to say it starts in the summer of 2020, but I have had anxiety my entire life. I've always been a highly sensitive individual, highly sensitive person, but it was the summer of 2020.

So the pandemic had been going on for a while. My life was. Amazing on the outside. I had three healthy kids, a loving and supportive husband, a very successful career at the time that I can do from anywhere in the world. And we were spending most of our time of the pandemic like at our family's lake house.

So like life was really, really good. But on the inside, [00:20:00] I was struggling. So being someone who is very sensitive to Things very like, yeah, just everything kind of is a little bit more intense for me. My level of anxiety kind of shot up and I found myself being kind of like borderline always in a panic attack, like I just couldn't handle or take anything else in and there was just a constant stressors flying in, especially being a mom during the pandemic who was homeschooling her kids.

And to add on top of that, I was doing just what Jess was doing. I was drinking every single day. So I finally got to this point where I was like, okay, I cannot live like this anymore. Like I cannot function. Like I was literally like hiding out in my room half of the days because I was so anxious and so basically it was debilitating.

So I made a decision that I was going to not only find things to cover up my anxiety, but I [00:21:00]was going to die. really, really deep and figure out how to heal my anxiety. So I would never get to that dark space again. So I did things like I found a therapist that ended up not being the right fit, but I started therapy.

I was on medication. Medication was great for the time being because it kind of was able to take me out of that dark hole and get me to a space where I really felt like I can tackle other things in my life. But I also began to make that correlation of like, When I drink, my anxiety is worse, so I took alcohol out of the picture for a couple of months and during those couple of months again, I continued to kind of focus on self care, was doing therapy, was just really trying to limit the exposure I got to, you know, things of the world.

So I limit my social media intake. I told my husband not to tell me all the things like I just didn't want to know. And I got to this point two months later. And I was, like, so proud of myself. I was feeling so great. [00:22:00] And I did what I, the only thing I know how to do when it comes to celebration is I celebrated with a cocktail.

Okay. I celebrated with two cocktails because it was like, I deserve this, you know, like I've taken a break. I've missed out. I have been this like, you know, person who hasn't consumed alcohol and I'm missing all this super fun times that everyone else is having. So I had two cocktails. And within an hour, my body went into a full blown panic attack.

And that morning I woke up and I said, never again. And I knew, I also knew at that point that it was happening for a reason. And that it was so extreme because my story was going to have to be something that helped others. Because I knew that there was so many people out there. We're walking kind of similar paths as me, and they were just feeling really alone [00:23:00] because as a society, nobody talks about giving up alcohol is just something you do to take care of yourself, right?

Like the only people who give up alcohol. Are people who have alcohol use disorders, you know, who really, really have to or their life is kind of over and there really has never been an option for us for people who are just sensitive to alcohol or, you know, maybe it's not the best for us. There's never really been an option.

And I never ever considered through the years of like feeling sensitive to alcohol and doing cleanses and breaks and whatever, I never considered quitting an option because I was like, I don't want people to judge me. I don't want people to make assumptions about me. And when my body basically was like, girlfriend, you are done.

I knew that I was like, okay, I'm done. And I'm also now going to give the permission slip to other women, to other moms that they could be done too, [00:24:00] or they could take a break too and not feel like shame about it. Right? Like, it's just, yeah, it's just an interesting space to be in when you finally make that first step of like, I'm, yeah, I'm going to take a break from alcohol.

You're like, oh, now what? Like. How am I going to function in society here? Hello, friends. It's Jess here. I need to talk to you about something that's so near and dear to my heart. Nutrition for mamas and women in their childbearing years. When I was deep in my conception and preconception planning years, one of the hardest things to navigate was finding high quality vitamins and supplements to support a healthy pregnancy and postpartum experience.

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[00:26:00] com and using the code modernmamas at checkout. Let's make this the year of you, friend with radically better nutrition. It's just like, I think we are very, very similar, like down to just being like highly empathetic the way that the, you know, pandemic affected us. I just remember having, I think it was about halfway through, I mean, Laura, I was like, we voxed quite frequently, and I just remember just like sobbing in tears because I could not handle the, like, the information, the, like, tragedy, like all of it, all of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and just being like, I can't do this, like, I can't, I, like, yeah, looking back, it's probably a panic attack.

But she's like, just very affected by it all. And I think that was the moment where, because that was a couple of years ago where I started to get curious about, I will be totally honest, not just, it wasn't really alcohol that started it, but it was like, it was kind of [00:27:00] that, that trigger that was like, okay, like the world is a hard place.

A lot of the time. How are you going? How are you just this like very sensitive person going to like make it through? Without real thriving, not just surviving. And so it started kind of this and I'll share a little bit of my about my journey. Like it started this like, okay, I need to like, because I never was able to like check in with myself.

So strangely enough, I don't wear it anymore because I feel like it served its purpose. But I started using like the whip device, which was like. A sleep tracker and it tracks like your metrics and all of this because I'm just not a person that's like intuitively tapped into how they're feeling a lot because I feel so much a lot of times my desire is to not be tapped into how I'm feeling and so I used the whoop to kind of be that thing for me and what I found over and over and over I mean it was [00:28:00] like just I never stopped drinking alcohol, but it was like every time I had even one drink, the woop was like So it grades you like red and green, green being like great, red being like, what the hell did you do?

And it was like red, red, red, even if I slept eight hours, nine hours, red, it was always like your heart rates up, your respiratory rates up, like all of that, even if I couldn't necessarily feel it physically, Yeah, there were clear signs that my body Was responding to the alcohol on like not wild. It's wild.

It's so wild because people will say I can have a drink and I'm fine Yeah, me too. But like obviously not yeah, because my this tracking device Which is an unbiased little machine is telling me that things are not okay Like my body's handling it, but it's working. It's having to work It's having to work a little bit harder to get this out of your system.

[00:29:00] Absolutely. And sometimes it's good to have that, like, physical data. You're like, Oh, okay. Like, I know I didn't feel super well rested, but this, you know, device told me like, yeah, there's a reason why. Yeah. And that's totally, I share that because it's a piece of my puzzle because through all of that. It was like, I kept getting this information.

And then finally, when I was like, because of some other stuff, you know, I think my anxiety also was peaking about a year ago when I decided to try this journey. But it was like, okay, I know, I know this is not serving me. Let's just try it. And I'm also I'm not a moderator. So that's like you're either all or nothing.

Yeah, I mean, they're all or nothing, which is so interesting in many facets. But it was like, I need to do this at least and I gave my I told myself I'm going to do it for a year and I'm going to see how I feel and at a year now. I'm almost at a year. Yeah. So January 1st will be a year and [00:30:00] You know, I can share more about that too as we kind of like walk through here, but like it has been one of the things I want to ask you because for me, it wasn't like it wasn't debilitating for me.

And I truly feel like after a year, I don't know what I'm going to do, honestly. I, there are things I miss about it, mostly in like celebratory moments, where it's like we're out on a date and God, that cocktail looks so fun. Like the, it's almost like the foodie in me is like, that looks like it tastes so good, you know?

And I want to try it. And so I'm like, I don't know where exactly I'll be, but I will say when I decided to This has been the hardest year of my life, honestly, and I say that, and a lot of like, I put through some stuff in my life, and I will say for me personally, it's been a struggle, and I, the main thing I noticed was alcohol, [00:31:00] not having the, like, kind of band aid of alcohol at the end of a hard day, or in a hard moment, and you're like, I'm gonna pour myself a glass of wine, and like, my nerves will be soothed, I had to deal.

All your shit. Sorry. Yeah. No, you can say shit. We can't stop here. Okay. I can deal with all my shit. Like I had to literally, there was nothing for me to do cause I don't, I don't like do drugs or anything like that. Like there was nothing, there was no coping aside from like maybe food. But even then it was just, that wasn't like my crutch of choice.

It really opened my eyes that like once that was gone, there's a lot of emotions. There's a lot of feelings. There was a lot of like. Just, it's almost like my anxiety got worse, which is weird. I don't know if it was my anxiety or if it was just, I don't know exactly. Does that make any sense? It makes so much sense because this is exactly what I do in my coaching.

So [00:32:00] my, so my journey led me to a therapist who specialized in embodiment and really learning how to reconnect to my body. Oftentimes, as humans, most of us kind of live in our heads, you know, that mind over matter kind of space. And we try to solve all of our problems by like overthinking them. And Not really giving awareness and attention to, like, those feelings that we're actually feeling and what they're trying to tell us and how to get through them.

And so, so many of us, so many moms, and we can get into the mommy wine culture here, is like, We are using alcohol to cope with the hard days, right? And we're not even, we're not even saying specifically like what emotion is coming up in that hard day other than the fact we're just exhausted, but we're taking that glass of two or wine at night or that cocktail to really just kind of like ease us out.

of whatever intensity we're feeling. And so when you remove alcohol for the first time and probably forever, [00:33:00] you have to sit with your emotions and it's so hard, right? And so I was on the same space as you of like, Oh, my gosh, like I have to deal with everything, like everything that I used to be like, Oh, my gosh, okay, I'm gonna have a glass of wine and then I can turn music on and we can dance and the kids will like do whatever and it'll be fun and no, like I have to sit, I have to process, I have to think, I have to understand, like.

what I'm feeling, how I'm going to work through this. And it is a lot of work. And again, that is what I do in my coaching now, because I think it's such important work because you tell, you know, you tell people like, Oh, alcohol is bad for you. You should get rid of it. But as a society, we're not really given the tools that are necessary to process emotions.

And I will say, like, looking back on this journey I've been on now, I've been alcohol free for two years. It's [00:34:00] been the most transformative, expansive growth period as an adult that I've ever experienced, and I don't think it's a coincidence. Yeah, just like really having to feel all the frickin feels and it is hard, but it's also insanely beautiful and eye opening and like I said, transformative.

It can be, yes, it can be such a beautiful part of a story. Absolutely. And I feel like, you know, I, we're talking about embodiment. We're talking about actually being in touch with like your body and your emotions and the way it's feeling. And it's just, I don't think it's a coincidence to either for me when I give alcohol on January 1st.

February, I ended up hurting my back, which based, you know, it was something that I've been dealing with since I've had kids. I have diastasis. It's severe. I've never taken care of it, but it was almost like I mind over matter. Like, I'm just gonna power [00:35:00] through. I was like crossfitting. I'm like, you know, running half marathons.

I'm doing all this stuff. And then I, you know, take alcohol out of the equation. And while probably not a direct result, it was like, finally, my body was like, okay, I'm done. We're going to like talk to you loud and clear, like you've got to do something about this. Yeah. And so if you're not going to do it, we're going to do it for you.

And so this, this back injury, which, you know, is still something I'm working through. I feel like there's, it's not a coincidence and it's like not just being sober this year is not just like a mental transformation for me. It's like a physical transformation and the way that like. What you're saying like the embodiment like just really I've been having to really tune in to myself On a physical and spiritual all the levels and it's just it is it's transformative this year has been while not my favorite [00:36:00]year, I think it's been necessary for so many things that need to heal and or change.

And not having alcohol there is allowing a lot of those things to move forward. Does that, does that make sense? I feel like you were kind of speaking to that, I don't know, but just like out of left field. Yeah, no, I mean, it absolutely makes sense. I think, you know, when you, we don't really think about, before we give up alcohol, all the direct impacts it can have on various parts of our body, but like, When you are more in tune with your emotions and when you are more in tune with your body and like living a more embodied life, like you recognize things sooner or you understand that treating and taking care of my back is something that's actually really important and I'm not going to ignore it anymore because I know I have to do this to be able to, you know, live a healthy and strong life going into, you know, my forties and fifties and beyond.

Yeah, no, it [00:37:00] absolutely makes a lot of sense. Well, so you kind of touched on it a little bit. I'm going to kind of bring us back to, I mean, this has all been so amazing, but I do want to make sure we talk about some of the things that I had like had in my brain, but like, how do, why do you believe alcohol is so prevalent in today's society, which we've talked a little bit about this already, but, and then also how do you think that it affects our lives?

What are some ways that people might not even believe? Like think about and I'm thinking like our intimate partners, relationships, our friendships, our children, our personal growth, our creativity, because I've always heard like you drink alcohol to be creative, like, you know, like all of these things will bring out your creativity.

Is there actually even any, like, how does it actually affect us? Uh, you know, it's it's interesting because I think of it from a standpoint of like, how does it affect us when it's removed from the equation? And, you know, to go back to your first question that [00:38:00] why is it so prevalent in today's society is back, you know, just Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The alcohol industry, right? Like they they are the ones that are pushing alcohol and the marketing and targeting, you know, specific groups. And, you know, like we we've grew up thinking like, okay, this beverage is the celebratory drink, right? And like, it's like, This rite of passage when we turn 21, we get to celebrate with alcohol and it's what makes us fun, it's what makes us flirty, it's what gets us friends, it's how we get together with friends.

It's what gives us a cool dance moves. Totally. But you know what's really funny is I actually went to a wedding sober last summer and I challenged myself. I literally took deep breaths and I said. Okay. You are still a fun dancer because I love dancing at weddings. And you know what? I danced for two hours.[00:39:00]

And I was like one of the main people that like stayed out there the entire time I was having the most fun and it's because with alcohol like it lets go of your like inhibitions and fear and worry of like being judged and I just told myself to do that. Like I just said, let go everyone else here is drunk, they're not going to judge you and I was able to have as much fun.

If not more than I used to have being drunk on the dance floor, because one, it was really empowering that I was able to do that without alcohol in my system, and two, I went home, went to bed, and woke up and was able to exercise and function like a normal human the next day. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so funny too, because when we were at the, at LEAD, This, this past year, it was that's when we like connected and we chatted for a little bit.

I don't know how long you stayed, but the lead, because it's like, I mean, it's hard in that situation too. But like last lead in Austin, I drank so much. This [00:40:00] rarely ever happens, but I, that was like, where I was just like, I could not function the next day. I was, so, I didn't even think I could drive home. I wore sunglasses inside for the first time in my entire life.

'cause I was just like, oh my gosh. Yeah. The lights are like, this never happened to me before. I had mind you, so much fun. I danced like just, I mean, it was, it was h it was hilarious. It was fun. I paid the price, but fast forward to a year later at LEAD this past year and I'm totally sober. Yeah. And it's like, I had so many nerves about it because I was like, will I be fun?

Will these people like me? They liked Jess at Austin because I was like the life of the party and I was getting everyone to dance and they loved that Jess. Will they like this Jess who is just. Still me. I'm still me, but I'm just I'm not just on alcohol, you know, [00:41:00] and so it's a lot of nerves going into it.

And I had a lot of those reservations like you shared at the wedding. And I was like, you know what? And everyone was dancing and they were drinking and that's totally fine. That was like people. I think also that's a consideration. People are like, Oh, is it okay if I drink if you're not drinking? I'm like, you do whatever you want to do.

Like, listen, nothing to do with you. You have a great time and I'll have a great time over here. But I finally was like, you know what? Yeah. I'm just gonna dance like I like to dance. I'm not great at it. I even with alcohol. I'm not great at it But like there's the less of that inhibition and I did it and it was great I we shut the place down just like we did last year and then I went to sleep and I woke up and I felt great Yeah, and it's so cool.

Just like Just taking that specific moment, right? Like you basically just demonstrated what happens when you remove alcohol from the equation and how that equates to growth because you had these nerves. You had these insecurities, you had these, like, the self [00:42:00] doubt, maybe limiting beliefs and stories that you were telling yourself because of the years of being someone who chose to drink and also living in a society that says drinking is cool.

And you were able to process those emotions. You were able to choose to still be just and to still show up and have fun. And then you were able to wake up the next morning and be like, I did it. Yeah. I can do this. Yeah. And I feel really, and I feel really good. And that's, again, this going back to like, this is what I like coach people on because even though we can talk about it and we can say like, yeah, you have to process your emotion and you have to kind of sit there and do this and that, that's really hard for most people.

Yeah. You know, and it's the society's pressure, you know, and this going back to how alcohol is an effect on our relationships and our friendships. Yeah. It's hard to say no and to stick with it because everyone else around us for the most part, it's [00:43:00] getting, it's, I think the pendulum here is shifting.

There's a lot more people choosing mocktails and sobriety and that kind of stuff. But most people, when you're in this social situation, they are going to continue to drink. And what we do as people who are choosing to be sober is we're almost like putting a mirror to them. And we're saying like, Hey, I'm not drinking.

You are. And it causes this somewhat like reflection on their part to look at their relationship with alcohol. And one of the most common ways that people reflect back onto the sober person is they say, Well, come on, like you can just have one or two. It's no big deal because they are trying to make you feel, make them feel comfortable.

And so that is one of the hardest things for people who are wanting really to give themselves a break, whether it's their choosing sobriety forever or just like one or two months at a time, it being around the, the, that peer pressure because it's, Other people are like, ah, well, you're making me [00:44:00]uncomfortable not drinking, so I'm going to tell you to drink and then you're going to give in because you're a people pleaser and you don't want to hurt other people's feelings, but it's like, there's just so much tied into it.

So yes, drinking can have an impact on your relationships. It can have an impact on your friendships. But the number one thing that I like to talk to people about and coach people on is just having conversations and boundaries set before you go anywhere. You know, so it's not like an in the moment in the heat of the moment where someone else is maybe drinking and they're feeling like, ah, like, wait, you're not drinking.

Like what's wrong with me? Like, you know, it's like, hey. Let's have this conversation. We're going out on Friday. I want you to know, like, I'm choosing not to drink right now, and you don't have to even say why, because people can get offended by, like, your whys. You can say, I just haven't been feeling good, I'm trying a few things out, and I just want you to know that I'm not going to be drinking, but you can drink, you can do all the things that you're used to doing, but I'm not going to drink, [00:45:00] I'm still going to have fun, I'm going to take my own car, though, because I probably will leave earlier than I usually did.

Mm hmm. You know, it's like Yeah, it's just having those hard conversation. Hi friends, Laura and Jess here to chat with you about our favorite new oral care products by Wellness, a phenomenal company that we are so proud to be partnering with. Wellness, a bee corporation, was co founded by Katie Wells of Wellness Mama after years of struggling to find safer and non toxic products for her family.

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Wellness is offering our listeners a special 15% off discount that will be automatically applied when you shop through our unique link at www.wellnesswllesse.com/discount/modern. Mama, we hope you love their products just as much as we do. The wonderful thing that this also revealed to me too, is that the people who love you and really are like, I don't know, it just, I felt like I was gonna see so much more pushback and honestly, It gave me, [00:47:00] like, just encouragement that, like, my friends are solid, man, like, they're like, yeah, you do it, like, do you, I've, I never felt pressured, I've only felt pressured one time from someone else, and it's a family member that's family through marriage, so it's like, my sister's family, like, her in laws, family, And I shared that I wasn't drinking and he was like, well, sucks to be you.

And I was like, actually, I'm fine, like, and this is from someone who I do believe has an alcohol use disorder and PTSD, like in the military, like there's just a lot of layers there. And it was like, it was uncomfortable for him. That I wasn't like partaking and it really honestly rolled off my back because I was like, I really don't care what you think like if it was someone close to me, it probably would have been a harder conversation, but you know, it's just it's interesting.

And I'm also feeling courage because I see people around me who like, for instance, my brother in law, I admire [00:48:00] him so much. He's a vet. He's like a war vet. He served our country through I mean, multiple deployments, like the hard, hard stuff. And he. Well, you know, we're all from the same little town where it was like you go drinking in a, in a cow field when you're 16, I know I'm not joking.

And like, so we all grew up like drinking that way. That's just what you did in a small town. And he recently, he must, I think he's been sober for a couple years, maybe two. Something happened that kind of just like opened his eyes and he like doesn't drink anymore. And this was his brother who is like very like, that's what they did together.

Yeah, like yeah, all gatherings. It was like we get shit faced, right? So yeah, you're like this other person. Uh, you know, besides his brother that's like holding this mirror to him and like he's feeling he's feeling judged, but you're not the one judging him, right? Totally. Yeah, totally. And I will say like, I've pretty much about almost the same [00:49:00] experience as you like, everyone's been super supportive, you know, in the beginning, there was like, people would still offer me drink.

And then it was like, you know, I finally figured out like, Oh, I just need to set like really strict boundaries. Like, you know, No, like I'm actually not drinking at all for a long time, if not forever, you know, and it's like, once you do that, like people have been so supportive and it often strikes up conversations like, you know, if you start talking about like, Oh, I'm not drinking alcohol because it makes me feel this way.

A lot of the time people will chime in and be like, Oh my gosh, me too. I can't believe it. You know, I was talking to someone the other day who I've had multiple conversations about about how she. Really wanted to stop drinking because she felt sick all the time and didn't sleep and all the things we've talked about but she just couldn't figure out how to do it with like within her, you know, with her partner, being a drinker and also all the social things she was going to and yeah, the other day she's like, you [00:50:00] know what?

I finally just told myself you're done. Like you have some health, you have health things going on I need, like, I need to put that as a priority, and to do so I have to be a non drinker. And it just, but it took years, like, I've been having this conversation with her for a couple of years, and it took me years, too.

I think, I think my body for many, many years was telling me, like, and taking me on this journey of, like, you probably are not going to be a drinker for much longer. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And then something we didn't really touch on that, and I'll share a little bit of my personal story here too, when we talk about how alcohol can affect your, your life is like the parent child relationship has been like very, very, my particular parent child relationship, my dad is, is, was an alcoholic.

I don't know what the term would be now since you don't call it alcoholism, but highly functioning, functioning. Not a mean like it wasn't like he got drunk and like [00:51:00] had you know outbursts or anything It was he drank every single day of his life that I know of from the time he got home like in the evening like it was like a six pack and it was it was the opposite of emotional outbursts it was like My dad was like not someone that I talked to like he didn't talk to me.

Yeah, he just shut down, right? Yeah, so shut down. This was a way and there are things in his life like that led probably to this point And, you know, that happened and he ended up going to jail. I won't like to share all the details because it's his story as well, as well, but he was out of my life for about, about 10 years.

And so not only did I grow up with this affecting my relationship with him, it impacted me when he was away. And such a, like the ripple effect [00:52:00] of that was just. Huge. Huge. Yeah. And, you know, I think about that and I think about how it's now impacted me and my parenting journey. And then I think about myself as a parent now, how I was utilizing alcohol.

It was almost in the same way. It was more to calm myself, to detach from like, You know, the emotional outburst of my Children that I felt like I couldn't handle as like a very sensitive person. I was like, I'm just gonna drink a glass of wine and then I can be a better mom. But really, like, it wasn't doing what I wanted it to do.

Like, I wasn't being present. I wasn't walking my kids through these tough things. And that's sort of like what happened to me as a kid, right? Like, no one was there to walk me through you. My emotions and feelings and the challenges that come with being a kid and growing up and all of that. Yeah, and so Anyways, that was like an eye opening thing for me.

And so for me and on a personal level It has impacted my like the parent child [00:53:00] relationship And then I have I had a very close cousin to me when he was I think he was 18 He drank alcohol at a party decided he wasn't gonna drive home. So he slept in his car And ended up getting sick and like passing out and choking on his own vomit and dying.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, I know. This is like, this is the heavy stuff, right? Like it's, it's hard to talk about. But it's real like that stuff really happened and then not even touching on like Tim, my husband's side of the family, his parents met at rehab and basically his mom has been sober since she, as long as Tim has been like conceived.

And she's, she's like 37 years of sobriety. She's incredible. She is one of those humans where you're like, Oh my gosh, you're doing the work like you. Yeah. Like, it's just incredible. His dad, on the other hand, is a much different story, but it's like, we come from [00:54:00] a family that's been heavily impacted by these choices.

And so when I, when I asked the question, like, how do you think alcohol affects our lives? Like, I actually know. Um, and it's, and it's, I laugh about it because sometimes I, if I don't laugh, I'll cry a little bit. And I'm also way on the other side of a lot of this, like it not being so emotionally charged.

But it's, it's like, these are real things and real, real impacts that it's had on me. And like, for me, one of my primary motivators is like, I don't want to pass on. And like, my dad's dad was a drinker. Like, you know, uh, Tim's family is like, you know, drink, drinking is like in this family line. Like, that's not the story I want for my kids.

Like in period, like end of story, like, it's totally like, we're stopping this right here. But isn't it, isn't it wild that, like, even with the journey and the stories of your family and all the, like, tragedy and the hardship [00:55:00] because of alcohol, you still, and others do this as well, used alcohol as a way to quote unquote have fun.

It's like, that is how tight of a hold. I don't, I don't like to talk about big industry, but like that is how tight of a hold like the alcohol industry has on our society, right? Because they have made it seem like that the person's the problem. But that's not the case. The alcohol is the problem. And for whatever reason, you know, life situations, trauma that occurred, you know, alcohol can take over someone's mind and body sometimes differently than others.

But even walking through that, like we still choose to partake in this, like what we talked about as poison. But by having this awareness and having these conversations, this is such a good opportunity for us to be like, you know what, you're right. Like, I don't, like, I don't have to choose this. Like, I don't want this for my [00:56:00] kids.

I do want to be a more present person. I do want to see how my body feels without it. And I do want to continue to learn about the substance and how it's impacting my life and my family's life. And I think that's a really powerful place to be at. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know. And I, I know we're kind of, I mean, there's so much we could continue to talk about.

I feel like we'll eventually have to have a part two. And I love the fact that this episode is airing around the New Year's when I think most people are going to be a lot more open minded in terms of considering stepping into something like this. Because I feel like, you know, November, December, like even those two months, it's a lot of like, yeah, It's a lot of like kind of partying and celebration and there's like food and there's drink and there's all this stuff.

And I think a lot of people are potentially maybe feeling the effects a little bit more of like the alcohol [00:57:00] indulgence. And so I kind of want to go in the direction now, what are some tips we can give people who are potentially considering this? Like, do you make a plan? Do you just decide? Is it up to the person?

Like, how, what if someone's like, okay, I think I want to do this, think you want to do this. how can they prepare? Yeah, well, first of all, I always like to tell people, like, if you are going to take a break from alcohol, don't do it on willpower alone, because that's most often what we do is, like, we're saying, we're going to do a 30 day challenge, you know, with anything, not just alcohol, and you just, like, kind of, Get through it without really learning anything from it.

And so I tell people like, you know, inform yourself, you know, get books, get podcast, learn about alcohol, learn about other people's journeys, find a group of people, you know, who are doing the same thing as you and be ready to [00:58:00] learn from your journey. Be ready to be open to tuning in to like, Hmm, I slept better, or I'm sleeping better, like I have less anxiety.

I, you know, feel like this is hard because I'm having to deal with my son's, you know, um, Big blow up at the end of every day, and I don't have anything to cope with this and just see kind of like where that leads you there. Yeah, there's just there's lots of people out there on social media like myself and other, you know, that are talking about this.

There's lots of books. There's lots of podcasts. It's like the more you know about the truth about what alcohol really is and what it can do to our bodies. I feel like The more empowered you'll be to like stick with it. And I don't want anyone here to think that I'm here saying like sober is the only way.

I don't even like the word sober because I think it implies that you have an alcohol use disorder. So like, I'm not here saying [00:59:00] that alcohol free is the only way. Am I alcohol free? Yes, I've been for two years. I probably won't ever drink again because my body's so sensitive to it. But we all at least deserve the opportunity to just take a break and to see where your body's at, to see how you function and to give yourself the opportunity to grow, to learn, to expand and to essentially, what I like to say is like up level your life.

Like how do you want to live this life? Do you want to live this life? Just kind of like doing the same thing over and over and over again, or do you, you know, do you potentially still have the ability to reach your greatest potential and you never will know this until you try and to try you have to equip yourself with the right tools?

Absolutely. I love that so much. Oh, my gosh. I love that you say and, and I love that there's space for kind of shades of gray in this like [01:00:00] journey because again, like, I don't want to say that I will never have another drink again. I think that my relationship with alcohol is forever changed because of this kind of sabbatical.

I think that, I don't know. And I, and I'm taking it every, I think I'm just going to continue to take it day by day because I also told myself if at any point you change your mind, Jess, You can, but it's like something in me that just kept, kept telling myself, like, stick with it, like, this, like, stick with it, stick with it, there's been many opportunities and, like, celebrations and, and things where, you know, Tim was on this journey with me for, like, maybe like six months, and then he's like, you know what, I think I, I want to, like, have a cocktail at dinner today, I'm like, alright, I mean, like, You do you.

And so he's been drinking here and there. But for the most part, even him, like, after every time that he has a drink, he's like, Yeah, it wasn't worth it. Like, it just really wasn't. [01:01:00] Yeah. And that's another thing that I always like to tell the clients that I'm working with is that if you say you're taking a break from drinking and you end up having a drink, like, You don't have to stop and then go back to drinking like you are not a failure like take that as like a data point or an information piece like what can you learn from that so just it's like if you choose to have a drink for the new year just hypothetically right just to be like okay I made it a year I'm going to try and then you're like I feel like shit yeah still feel like shit you know so then it's like then it's like you ping that it's like okay after a year of being sober I had a drink and I still felt like shit so maybe I'm gonna continue on this journey you Okay.

Totally. Not drinking alcohol again. Totally. Yeah. It's like so often people are like, Oh, I failed at this diet or this workout routine or whatever. And they just give up. It's like this, this is, this can be a lifelong journey and exploration and path to just like, like I said, this transformative growth opportunity.

And at the end of the day, it's like you're taking care of [01:02:00] yourself. You're taking care of your family and you're setting an example for your, for your kids. Oh yeah, they've had many, many questions too, by the way, like just, I mean, it's like, again, Tim and I are not, not people who ever, like, I don't, I truly don't think that like we ever overindulged, especially in front of our kids, but it was like, yeah, we had wine, and so like that was a normal thing, and so now that they're older, so Bear's gonna, Bear's 7, like we literally will have like, I mean, they ask a lot of questions.

Like, what is alcohol? Like, why do people drink it? Like, we're in a show, they're like, she, the other day we were watching a show, I can't remember what it was, but Kim was like, she's always drinking wine. It was like the mom. It was the classic thing. She was like, I've had a stressful day. Yeah. And she was like, why is she always drinking wine?

Yeah. Well, I think that's so cool that she noticed and that you get to have that conversation with her. Yeah. Right. Because the marketing, you know, and the producting of this like, like beautiful [01:03:00] lifestyle with booze like starts at a really young age. And you know, it's like we as kids, I was like so excited to turn 21 because it was like, all you see is like happy people drinking and like people.

You know, pictures of like cheersing with their friends and even now, like on social media, it's like for whatever reason. And I'm so guilty of it, too. It's like when you have a cocktail, you're you always want to post a picture about it, right? But like, I didn't post any pictures of the panic attack I was having, you know?

Oh, totally. All the messaging is just thrown out there into into, you know, everyone's face. So yeah. And I think the really beautiful thing, too, is Because I think people are becoming more, like, alcohol aware or sober curious, however you want to, like, name it. There's so many, if you truly, like, sometimes it's just easier for me, like, in a social situation, to have a mocktail in my hand, even though I'm like, I really could just drink water, and that's fine, but like, totally.

It's fun, it's a mock, and like, you can, [01:04:00] you can go to most bars these days and be like, do you have any mocktails? And they'll be like, yeah. Yeah. Or they fix you, like, you know, topo and lime, or whatever it is that you. Did they have to offer and there's like canned mocktails. I mean, it's just like So much easier to still kind of, quote unquote, participate without actually participating, which is like, I don't know, helpful for me in some social situations, and I think it makes it so you don't stand out, right?

So it's like you still look like you have a beer in your hand or a cocktail in your hand, and it's, yeah, it's just like a tool for for people who choose not to drink, you know, to be able to still kind of. Be in society and be accepted as awful as that so backwards doesn't I know I know but you know what there's a book Oh my gosh, what is it?

I'm totally blanking but Holly Whitaker is author drink Like is it quit like a woman and she talks about she really thinks that alcohol is gonna have a cigarette moment, right? So like everybody used to smoke and everyone smoked inside and smoked around [01:05:00] kids and babies and all this and then all the sudden the truth came out about Tobacco and being a carcinogen and causing cancer.

And now, like, if you smoke, like you're an outcast, right? And she really, she really believes that it's hard to believe, but she really thinks that alcohol is going to have a cigarette moment in the next couple of decades. And I mean, if anything, I mean, I do feel like it's significantly is changing, you know, with just how many options are available in terms of like non alcoholic beers and mocktails and that kind of stuff.

Yeah. And I feel like I've seen it happen a little bit, like with this younger generation, I don't know, there's a lot of just different the way that they're growing up and being impacted by some of the things that we were like, they're not and making different choices, I feel like, I don't know, I've met some, I know people like to complain about the younger generations, but I've met some really cool young people who I feel like give me hope for the future where I'm like, You know, they're like, have no interest in drinking [01:06:00] or doing drugs and not because they're like, I don't know, I hate using this word air quotes, like a nerd because they're like, they're like, it's not cool.

You know, it's like no longer cool to do it, which is actually encouraging. That's amazing. Yeah. So I don't know. I guess I'm, I'm excited to see what will happen in the next 30 years. And I really hope that my kids, you know, obviously we can't control our children's decisions, especially when they're like.

Adults, but I hope that just seeing us choose a different way or even just a more moderate approach. to alcohol will empower them that like they can also do that, you know, because if you think about like me and I don't really know anything about your upbringing, but like I had all the tools and upbringing in my life to actually encourage me to go in that direction with heavy, heavy drinking and all of that.

And, uh, you know, what have you, but for some reason, like I, I got out [01:07:00] of it without being affected in that way, like choosing the opposite way. And I feel like a lot of kids, it's either. You walk that same path as your parents because that's what you're grown up with, or you see the devastating effects and you're like, I'm never gonna do that again.

And I don't know why, like, yeah, either, either, or it's hard, like, what causes what, like, how, how can one child choose a different path and another one choose the other way? You know, like, I don't know. I think about that a lot, actually, because I have friends who we grew up in similar, like, situations. And unfortunately, they've They're struggling.

Yeah. Yeah. They're struggling. So, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, it's, it all boils down to raising kids is really hard. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much what our podcast is about. Yeah. It's, it's just really hard and there's so much to it. Yeah, I will say with like my kids, so I have three kids and my husband still does drink.

He drinks a lot [01:08:00] less than he used to because he doesn't have his drinking partner anymore. But there, there are lots of questions, lots of conversations. And my hope is that I, I make not drinking alcohol or choosing not to drink alcohol is not this like boring thing, like, you know, cause like my mom didn't drink alcohol.

And I don't, I don't want to like talk poorly about her, but she didn't drink alcohol for various reasons. Growing up, it was mostly to support family members who had drinking problems. But I was just like, Oh my God, she's so boring. She's so not cool. You know, like, but I'm trying to be the, the mom that really talks through things with the kids.

And I'm being totally honest with them. I've told them my story with anxiety. I've told them. You know, we talk about emotions. We talk about physical sensations from emotions, and I'm trying to set this example so that when they get to that age where they can choose, like, that they can think about their, like you said, like their options.

But again, who knows? Check in with me in a decade. [01:09:00] Oh, fingers crossed we get all out relatively unscathed. Yeah, it's just terrifying. Every day is so scary. Oh my gosh, this was such a good conversation. I feel like we could talk so much more, but is there any, I feel like, and I feel like you kind of wrapped things up.

Is there anything else, parting words you want to share before we sign off on this topic? Gosh, I mean, yeah, I kind of feel like I shared it, but I feel like if you're in the space that you You know, you feel like we've shared even a little bit of your story today, like know that there is a community out there of other women and moms that are going through it and it is possible and yeah, you have everything within you to do hard things, but you just have to lean in and feel, feel those feels.

Yes. Oh gosh. As hard as it is. Yeah. And I. If people have watched me struggle probably the last year, I'm gonna be like, I do not want any [01:10:00] of that, but it is, it's true. You know, I read a quote the other day that was like, just because it's hard doesn't mean it's bad, right? Like there are, there are huge benefits, especially for us humans for going through seasons of, of things that are challenging.

It's growth, right? Like growth is good. Growth is good. I keep having to remind myself that. You're learning new skills, you're learning something that you need to learn, whatever that is, even if you don't know exactly what it is, like, there's purpose for this. And so, I just remind people that like, hard isn't always that.

It can be ultimately for your good, so. There's always, there's always a lesson in it. For sure. Absolutely. Yes, and I tell, actually just made a reel about that a couple days ago, is that it's okay to feel uncomfortable, like that's what we need, like we need to feel uncomfortable. We need to just feel, and just to remind ourselves that, yeah, on the other side of it is like [01:11:00] beautiful things.

Absolutely. Well, thank you. Where can we, where can we find you? You mentioned Instagram. I don't know if you have a website. Do you, how would people contact you to see if they want to work with you one on one? Tell us all the things. Yeah. Yeah. So you can find me on Instagram at livingmywholelife and my website is livingmywholelife.

com and you can find all the information there, but Instagram is a great place to start, to To just connect and see what I'm about and what my whole person coaching mind, body, soul is all about. And yeah, and you can always, always reach out to me. Like if you're someone that's starting this journey, this alcohol free journey, like just send me a message.

Like I want to be a cheerleader. That's amazing. Well, thank you so much, Allie. We appreciate it for having me. I can't wait for this episode to go live. I be perfect timing. And I'm just thrilled that you came on and we'll talk soon. All right. Sounds good. Thanks for having me. Bye. Bye. Thanks for [01:12:00] listening to our podcast.

See you next time.