MMP Ep 326: Wants & Needs

Laura Bruner: [00:00:00] Hey friends! Can't wait till Wednesdays to get your Modern Mamas fix? Join us on Patreon. You can choose your tier, and when you subscribe, you'll get bonus content, early access to Retreat, first peeks at new swag, plus shoutouts and even real time monthly virtual hangs with us. Visit

Jess Gaertner: patreon. com forward slash modern mamas podcast to check it out and support the podcast.

Jess Gaertner: It truly means the world to us. We are so grateful for you and for this community.

Laura Bruner: Hi friends! Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.

Laura Bruner: I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough. [00:01:00] And mindful

Jess Gaertner: movement. And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a level one CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a master's in kinesiology, and Mama Tiberian Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

Jess Gaertner: Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners, and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Good morning! Welcome to another episode of the Modern Mama, Modern Mama's podcast.

Jess Gaertner: Oh, that just about sums it up. Are we rolling with it? Let's roll with it. Hi, happy Wednesday. Is, oh, yeah, I was like, it's not Wednesday, but no, yeah, maybe

Laura Bruner: you're listening to this. The day comes out. We didn't breathe a breath.

Jess Gaertner: Some people do listen early in the morning on Wednesday.

Laura Bruner: I know. And when they share that, it makes my heart so happy.

Laura Bruner: I know. Like, oh, people are looking forward [00:02:00] to getting this gerbil in

Jess Gaertner: their ears. Getting this tongue twisted gerbil.

Laura Bruner: I feel like every single week it's like, well, last second, Laura had to reschedule because life turned on its head unexpectedly because it's summer and her husband's a wildland firefighter.

Laura Bruner: And here we are. Both girls are in my bed, but we actually haven't done that. Interestingly, like, Evie's been very much like, she wants her space, but Rusty's gone and she came in at two in the morning and was like, bad about a drink? I was like, just climb in.

Jess Gaertner: It's just easier that way sometimes. Yeah, it is.

Jess Gaertner: Did y'all sleep okay when she came in? Yeah,

Laura Bruner: I was up at two. So, hi friends, Rusty's gone. Unexpectedly, usually I get like a day at least a day or two of notice because his engine gets on the board, but it was like out of nowhere. He left yesterday morning at 5 a. m. And on top of that, our nanny chair fell through last second.

Laura Bruner: No. And on top of [00:03:00] that, all my like mama's helpers are back in some sort of school, homeschool, whatever. I'm like, What the, what the hell am I going to do? So I'm really just taking it one day at a time. Evie's in school, yes, but I still have Indy, obviously, and so it's just, it's a little bit, it's a little bit messy right now.

Laura Bruner: But I'm also grateful for therapy. I had therapy two days ago, and like, really just Took some deep breaths and remembered that when I start to spin and take care of 12 things at once is when I most desperately need to do nothing and just like stop and pause and slow down. So anyways, all that to say, it's a little crazy.

Laura Bruner: I don't have, I don't have any help really right now. So what

Jess Gaertner: happened with the nanny share? Like, she

Laura Bruner: was all set. We had the days and the times and everything. It was at my good friend's house. Indy and then two other, two other sweet little toddlers. And I was just gonna take her there and then take Evie to school and then work and then pick her up for that.

Laura Bruner: And that was all set. The one gal whose house it [00:04:00] was at met with her, talked to her, background checked her, all good. And then two days later, I was supposed to meet her with the other mama at the playground for like a get to know you playtime. Literally two hours before, she texted and was like, yeah, it's just not gonna work for my stomach or for, I've got just too much on my plate.

Laura Bruner: No, yeah, like hours, couple hours before. And so that was really hard. But you know, I also like I was talking to Rusty about it and we've never had Indy like cared for outside of our home. Yeah. And we just, we also like work that comfortable and I get like, I can't put a finger on it and I don't feel like I have to, like I don't have to explain the discomfort around it.

Laura Bruner: And we have these mom's helpers. I just have to get comfortable. With the idea that they are going to be available to help me in the afternoons and not in the mornings. Mm hmm. And that is really hard for me because mornings are when my brain is working best and [00:05:00] but you know yesterday It's like I worked out at home.

Laura Bruner: I'm not gonna get my, well Rusty's gone I'm not gonna get my same like gym time most days. I worked out at home like had a breakfast. It was great. We walked Eevee to school and then I took Indy for like a neighborhood loop, talked to my friend Nicole on Voxer, and then stopped at the playground, let her play, came home, I had a meeting, I gave her like a 30 minute show, which works in this season, and then like we played a little bit more and then it was nap time, you know, and then Eevee got home but she was content to like eat lunch, and Listen to Harry Potter.

Laura Bruner: And so I didn't get done as much as I wanted to, but I got stuff done. And then like, I took them to jujitsu. And then the next thing I know, it's like, I'm making dinner and we're winding down. Yesterday was a good day. So you have to remember that like, it's going to be okay. And then I woke up, I, I just, where it's like, I think the enormity of it all, it's not that enormous, but it is, it feels like a lot, especially because hopefully by the time you're listening to this, I will officially have an offer in my inbox that I've like [00:06:00] signed and all that with CrossFit, like it's, it's turning into permanent.

Jess Gaertner: Work. Is it full full time job? Or part time? No, part time.

Laura Bruner: 30 hours.

Jess Gaertner: Which I know I can do. That's like 30 hours. That's like almost full time. Yeah, it's

Laura Bruner: what I've been doing, basically. But that's like sitting on me too, like that's coming and I just need consistent hours and it's all very self induced, you know, like I am doing a great job at my work.

Laura Bruner: I am balancing a lot and ultimately things are going to just have to give like, I am not going to let go of Radical Roots or the Sourdough Sisterhood, but I am shifting gears a little bit and seeing where I can simplify and make things a little bit like less time intensive and a little bit more like passive.

Laura Bruner: You know, I still love Beauty Counter's mission. I love my team, but I can't put the same time into it and, and it's just all different seasons, you know, and I'm not going to let the podcast go, even if it means like texting you 10 minutes for us to hop on and be like, ah, can't do it right now. That's the only way this has been able to continue, but it's just a lot of like self induced wake up at [00:07:00] 2am and lay there wide awake stuff.

Laura Bruner: And I'm like, and this happened last time he got dispatched. It's like the first three days at my jaw hurt, I was clenching. I was just like trying to control things that are out of my control. And it's good for me. It's good to get uncomfortable. It's good to be thrown out of my comfort zone and to have to shift gears, but it's also hard.

Laura Bruner: I can recognize the growth that comes from it. And I can also acknowledge that it's really hard,

Jess Gaertner: so I know it's like, it's like you want to be able to respond to those moments where things get shifted, but like, it's hard when that's When it's more constant than like, like when it's not just like an out of the ordinary thing where it's like, well, this happens frequently with Rusty's job.

Jess Gaertner: I mean, frequently is, you know, in perspective, you know, consider can compare to like someone whose partner has like a nine to five, you know, and goes to the office every day and it's like very predictable. But for y'all, it's like. You [00:08:00] know, this is like, uh, a thing that happens more often than other people experience.

Laura Bruner: Yeah. No, it's just different. And, well, and this, I keep telling Michael too, like, it's never gonna, and I have to tell Evie a lot too, right? Like, let's say I'm trying to lay with her to bed with Endy there, cause she's been taking a little bit longer to go down, Endy has, so I've just been going to bed with her.

Laura Bruner: And Evie just like desperately wants, I can hear her, desperately wants alone time with me, you know? And I'm like, listen, you, we, you have to flex a little bit here. Like I am laying in your bed with you. I am, you have my full attention. Your sister's crawling all over us, but like, I'm giving you everything you can, everything that I can right now.

Laura Bruner: And Indy's awake. So bear with me friends, because this is going to be how this goes. Come on out. Banging on the door. Come on. So yeah, and so just like helping her understand that like, this is the season that we're in and I can give you, I can be present with you. Your sister's gonna be here often for that, but you know, it's just like those [00:09:00] hard conversations.

Laura Bruner: Hi, good morning. I was really hoping you'd sleep till seven. Anyways, so we're just, we're navigating it. It's, it's pushing Evie outside her comfort zone. It's pushing me outside my comfort zone. And you know, it's, it's growth inducing. On that note, she is loving her new

Jess Gaertner: school. I was going to say, I was going to ask, like, how's it going?

Jess Gaertner: And wondering also if maybe some of that, because I know, like, that's a huge transition. I'm sure there's a lot. Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of, like, that I need you stemming from, like, hey, this is a whole new, this is a whole new world.

Laura Bruner: It's like the day she started her new school, she also got moved up in jujitsu to, like, the big kid class, which is overwhelming in some ways, obviously.

Laura Bruner: She went from being, like, the most skilled and, like, the biggest to now she's the littlest. And this might seem little, but it's not. She's the first time she ever made it across monkey bars. Like, all this happened in one day, you know, and then, and then the next day, Rusty gets [00:10:00]dispatched. You know, it's just like, it's so much at once, and I'm always in awe of her ability to like, under, like, no, she understands in a way that I don't, I think a lot of six year olds might not be able to, and I'm also very biased, but like, we were, she's having some, it was like, they were so great in the bath, she was playing with Indy, it was so sweet, and then we got a voice text from Rusty, and I played it, and like, 30 seconds later, she like, just started.

Laura Bruner: Crying and had no idea, you know, in that moment had no idea why. So we, I come out of the bath and we're like on the bed and kind of talking through it. And I was like, there's been a lot of big change this week. You've done a lot of new things, you know, and, and she's been saying things like, ever since I turned six, life has been harder, you know, like, I think she just is understanding on some level that as she gets older.

Laura Bruner: There are more challenges and realities and, but at the same time, she's like, I can't wait till I'm 18. I'm like, but, but remember, you know, like things get more complicated as you get older and your feelings get more [00:11:00] complicated and there's just more to sort out. And so we're having some really cool conversations and I am having to really prioritize more like.

Laura Bruner: Presence and slow down for sure. Like I've said on the in the past, like my mantras for the summer have been slow is fast, less is more. And I have to remind myself of that. Another thing I talked to me with my therapist this week was like, I'm laying there, you know, and like, and he's like all over me or whatever.

Laura Bruner: And I'm a little bit touched out. It's been like a very over stimulating day. And I'm like, I just need some space. I just need some space. I have to remind myself because I had this conversation with Evie to sometimes I That there's a difference between need and want. And I'm not saying my want and desire for some space isn't valid because it is.

Laura Bruner: And also, it's something that I want and not that I actually, like, statistically need in this season, and they need me in a way that they never will again, and that need is a very real need, you know, and I want some space, and I will get some space, but right now, [00:12:00] you know, I,

Jess Gaertner: hi,

Laura Bruner: I, I don't get it as much as I feel like I want it, but that doesn't mean that I'm not okay, and that doesn't mean that I, that I won't get those needs met eventually, or those wants met eventually, so, I hope that makes much sense,

Jess Gaertner: but, Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense, and I'm also like, I feel like I needed to hear that personally right now.

Jess Gaertner: So that was, that was great. I'm glad I'm out of

Laura Bruner: focus. Call your

Jess Gaertner: therapist, thank you.

Laura Bruner: Yeah. Cause it's one of those things where it's like, I say that to Evie sometimes. She'll be like, I need that cookie or I need whatever it is. I'm like, I, I, you want that thing. And like, understand the difference between want and need.

Laura Bruner: I think it's important for all of us. And so like. You know, coming to therapy and being like, kind of having that realization, like, I tell her this and, and I had to, that's actually something that I, like, I was just laying in bed and thought to myself, like, I was like, I need space, I need space, and then, and I was able to kind of process through that, and then I was like, in that moment, within the, like, trying to get her down, she wasn't going down, I was like, no, Laura, I literally told myself this in my brain, you want space, you don't need it, and [00:13:00] she needs you, and I was like, that was a big moment for me, and so then to be able to come to therapy and like, talk through that with her, and have her be like, yeah, Yeah, it was, it was, it was cool, but you know, it's, I definitely had lost sight of the slow is fast and lush is more for sure, just kind of reeling.

Laura Bruner: So it's good to kind of come back to that as well. And it really worked yesterday. And like in the afternoon, Evie and I started a game of you wish, and then Indie woke up and I think she just read our energy, we were like mellow. And so for the most of the game. I need to remember to only play that game with pairs instead of fours, but, and work got done, you know, and I, I also, y'all might be proud of me, canceled, yeah, I see that canceled the camping night this weekend.

Laura Bruner: I actually had two weekends booked in a row of single nights. I just realized, like, I need this weekend to, like, regroup and to work in the mornings and to not just, like, sit on my pride of, like, [00:14:00] I'm camping two more times a summer before, like, holding on, you know, to summer. So let that one go. We're gonna meet some friends at the lake and then we're gonna sleep at home and I'm gonna wake up in the morning and I'm gonna get worked on on Sunday and it's gonna be great.

Laura Bruner: And then we'll camp the next weekend, but. Just like remembering to flex, even when I don't, it's like, what do I actually want? I think I want to wake up at home on Sunday morning. I love camping, but I think in this season, I want to wake up at home and I want to have my rituals and I want to get some work done.

Laura Bruner: So, so I audibled, I flexed

Jess Gaertner: on the, out of you. Yeah, I'm learning

Laura Bruner: slowly but surely, but yeah, altogether, I would say. Things are good. My needs are being met. My wants aren't always, but I also feel like that's motherhood, you know, and so that's kind of where we're at. I'm still baking a lot of sourdough. You guys.

Laura Bruner: And gals and folks out there, I made a sourdough [00:15:00] croissant and it was good. Yeah. And he says, yeah, we, we had them for Evie's first day of school breakfast. And I, I made like I made eight, like, little, littler ones, and so I did, uh, four with chocolate in them and four plain, and we each had two croissants to serve the day, and it was, it was, hey, I'm gonna talk to Auntie Jess for just a little bit longer, and they were so good, and I'm gonna play around with, like, they worked, for sure, but I'm gonna play around with some different fermenting times and, like, proofing times.

Laura Bruner: Because I want people to be able to make them and wake up in the morning and just put them in the oven and bake them. And not have to pull a Laura and wake up at four to like, shape them and then have them ready at 9am, you know? So, I'm gonna play around with shaping them and everything and letting them proof on the counter all evening and then put them in the fridge overnight and then bake in the morning.

Laura Bruner: So, stay tuned and just, you guys will know first, I'm going to create a mini resource. It's just going to be an e book, like a little sourdough e book, [00:16:00] a little sourdough croissant e book. So like, yeah, so it's going to be. You know, my process, how I make them, every step, and then also how to add in chocolate and how to add in, like, make a ham and, ham and cheese one, that kind of thing.

Laura Bruner: And just many, and like, affordable, but up on my shop, like I said, more passive stuff where I'm not having to get things printed, and it's something people have been asking for, it's something that I was probably inappropriately excited about. Hello friends, Laura here popping in real quick to rave about my current favorite product from Paleo Valley.

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Laura Bruner: Cannot recommend it enough. Give it a try. Creamy, delicious, [00:17:00] flavor packed, and none of the junk you'll find in typical protein powders. We also add it to pancakes and oatmeal. And I look forward to smoothies this summer. Don't wait. Go grab yours and save 15 percent with paleovalley. com forward slash modern mamas.

Laura Bruner: Enjoy!

Jess Gaertner: Why do you say

Laura Bruner: inappropriately? I don't know. Is one supposed to? I guess there is no supposed to, right? There's no, there's no cap on the excitement around baking a sourdough croissant. The croissants,

Jess Gaertner: I would say! That's like borderline tearing up. I mean, that's like, if you can't get excited about like a damn good croissant, like what, what, what can you get excited?

Jess Gaertner: I literally

Laura Bruner: feel like emotional. It's so interesting. I think it's because like my first go, I've been thinking about this. I think I put so much pressure and I just expected the first time to be a flop and it wasn't. And I was like, Oh, I was supposed to do this all along. And you'd be surprised. A croissant is, it takes longer, like more days.

Laura Bruner: Then let's say a cinnamon roll, but it's less hands on time, which I found to be really a [00:18:00] relief as well, significantly easier than I expected and so delicious. I mean, there's nothing like a home, like a fresh baked croissant. You just have to let it cool enough. So you really get the layers, you know, the lamb laminated dough, but.

Laura Bruner: Gosh, biting into that. And I'll, I'll be honest, on our last trip to Santa Cruz, I love Companion Bakery and I love Cat and Claw. This is not a, like, a bash on them, but I'm pretty sure I've been, I've been looking forward to this chocolate croissant all the whole trip. And I'm pretty sure it was day old. Or, you know, I just didn't get there early enough.

Laura Bruner: So it just was like, ah, it was a little bit of a, of a look down. And I, again, not bashing there. It's one of my favorite croissants of all time, but it just, in that it wasn't what I wanted in that moment. So then to be able to like come home and bake one and bite into it and have it be fresh with like the chocolate, just a little bit melty.

Laura Bruner: It was like, I just don't really, and then we frothed, we have a frother. We frothed our like cream or half and half. And it was just the whole experience. And then like walking to school together and it was just a really good morning. And I'm grateful for that. So, [00:19:00] and then it was like the next day that Rusty got his orders.

Laura Bruner: And then, and then yesterday morning is when he left at 5 AM. So I'm glad we had that time to kind of just, you know, have a really lovely Tuesday morning to kick off this week before he's gone. Now we're doing a thing. So yeah, big deals, big learning. When's he coming

Jess Gaertner: back? Do you know? It's usually it's

Laura Bruner: 16 days.

Laura Bruner: Cause they're gone for two weeks and then there's a travel day on either end. So what's kind of cool is that we're celebrating our. 10 year anniversary on September 20th, and he should be home on the, here do you want this water, on the 23rd, which is a Saturday, and when they get home they have two forced days where they can't be called, so like we could go further than an hour away, you know, and we can, so I think we'll probably try to prioritize a, like, full day.

Laura Bruner: away. Probably not. We won't do an overnight yet, but maybe even line up like on that Sunday, like multiple mom's helpers or sitters. So like maybe take turns or whatever. And I would just love to get away with him for like, from [00:20:00] like morning to evening. So we'll see, you know, that would be lovely. And we'll actually get to celebrate.

Laura Bruner: We thought we weren't going to get to celebrate our anniversary really till December. And we still are going to at the night away in Victoria, Canada. When our summer nanny's back for the holidays, we're gonna do our first night away since having Indy, but is that good water? But yeah, so that works out really well, and then he won't, most likely, like, he'll be then around for my birthday, which is cool, so like, there's definitely some, we, we wanted another dispatch, and I, I think the timing's actually Really lovely, except for I just don't have help.

Laura Bruner: I didn't anticipate, you know, I thought, like, come this week, I was like, Evie's gonna be in school and I'm gonna have a set nanny share and, like, set hours for the first time in months. And that just didn't happen. And so. I just it's like when you know when expectations aren't met and especially when it's something I had been like looking ahead to and looking forward to to finally just have a little bit of consistency.

Laura Bruner: But you know I've got these mama's helpers and basically what we've [00:21:00]worked out is that like every weekend I am going to text them. There's four of them and be like, hey. Let me know what you got open because their schedules are all constantly changing and so I'm sure I'll be able to like piecemeal and puzzle piece together at least a few solid chunks and then I've got nap time, I've got early morning, and then I've, I've got shows and like, and you know, what I've found too is as Evie now she's in day like five, today will be day five or four of going back to school, coming to this with realistic expectations, obviously, because she's six, but and not asking her to babysit her sister, but yeah, Being gone all morning, she comes home and when Indy wakes up from her nap, she's like, so excited to see her.

Laura Bruner: And so, there's been a couple evenings where it's just been like, I've been able to like, get a couple last work things done and make dinner. And they were like, playing the keyboard in a living room and like, put on tutus and were dancing. And like, the thought of turning on the TV or like, having to like, occupy them didn't even cross my mind.

Laura Bruner: And so, and then again, coming back to like, less is [00:22:00] more, sometimes doing less work. Right when Indy wakes up from nap and just closing everything and just being really super hyper present, getting outside, going to the park or whatever it is, you know, then, then it's like, then when I wrap an hour to have just full presence.

Laura Bruner: I'm able to get more done. So that less early on is more down the road. So it's all lessons. She's just turned on the air doctor to full blast. And so this air needs

Jess Gaertner: a quick cleaning. Yes. Mom,

Laura Bruner: clear the air here. Clear the air. So yeah, it's, it's good.

Jess Gaertner: Life is good. I know you've got like Kiddo's waking up and running around over there, but how's if you feel like no, no, that's not I guess I can barely hear her But how is Evie's first week of school?

Jess Gaertner: Like do you have any insights or do you want to

Laura Bruner: share anything? Yeah, she she tends to be like a slow to warm up to other kids Which I appreciate about her among so many things. And she usually spends the first, she's done this with, with the forest school as well. Like the first few weeks, or at least couple weeks, she [00:23:00] hangs mostly with the teacher and like just really observes.

Laura Bruner: And I love that about her. But you know, she did come home yesterday. She's like, I made a new friend. I can't remember her name. But it's a small class and it's Montessori. So that like, you know, it's pre, it's pre K and K. Yeah, I see that. We're gonna leave that on right now. And so. She and but Montessori does it so like all the kids spend time together, you know, and so I love that.

Laura Bruner: And so she's making friends and I think it feels good for her to be the oldest in the, you know, the older on the older end of the spectrum. And she's she just the stimulation. I mean, she's so excited about like, she's like learning, you know, she already we've done a lot of counting, but we haven't spent a lot of time like this is a one with like her seeing a one two and she already is like, she can, you know, pick out I'm already seeing her be able to like better identify letters and numbers and stuff after four days.

Laura Bruner: And I knew that was going to happen. I knew as soon as there was a little bit of structure, she was just going to, it was going to like take off. And so I held myself back this summer. I was [00:24:00] like, let's just have a summer of play and outdoor time and family time and reading and whatnot and games. And then I knew that come fall when she started school, she was going to be like, she's like, I'm like, what are you most excited about?

Laura Bruner: I just want to read. So, and that really just happened within a past. Like, Month. You know, so I don't feel like I was like holding her back. I was like, this is going to be so cool for her to just be super excited.

Jess Gaertner: So it's like a whole new world. And when they can learn how to read, it's like, I mean, it's just a game changer, honestly.

Jess Gaertner: So she's, uh, she sounds a lot like Camille, honestly, like just, yeah, I know we're

Laura Bruner: not supposed to number them or whatever, but I definitely see some, some force up. It's so interesting. So yesterday, yeah. She was having her big feelings, right, and sitting on my lap and I was holding her and all of a sudden she starts going dot, dot, dot, dot, and I was like, huh, and she was looking at this blanket on our bed that has these like dots on it and she's like, Mama, my brain is always like seeing art and like seeing shapes and she does her brain works in such a unique way.

Laura Bruner: It's like so [00:25:00] it's just really cool to witness her move through the world in a way that I don't, and she's taught me so much about myself and like slowing down and just like getting more comfortable with feelings,

Jess Gaertner: you know, yes, I had to catch

Laura Bruner: myself will be like, you know, we'll have we had that time we played the games or whatever.

Laura Bruner: And she's like, but Andy was there. I'm like, Can't you just, like, appreciate the fun that we had, you know, like, just focus on the good, but it's also important to acknowledge the things that feel hard, and so just, she's a constant reminder for, for me to, like, sit in that sometimes when, even when I don't want to.

Laura Bruner: I think I'll be a good balance for her to help her not, if that ends up, you know, not always sit in that, if that

Jess Gaertner: makes sense. Oh, totally. I, It's like, I, I have a very, very similar kid too. It's so funny the other day, not to like interrupt your flow here, but she was like, she was like kind of sitting there and she was like, I have [00:26:00] songs picked out for like my life.

Jess Gaertner: And I was like, what? Because she said something like this before we were driving and she was like, a sad song is playing in my head right now because we were leaving this place that she really liked. But this was like a separate conversation where she was like, I have like songs picked up for my life.

Jess Gaertner: That was like, give me like a soundtrack, like you have like songs for like parts of your life. She's like, yeah. And I was like, oh man, she's like, she's the way she described it. She was like, my life is like a movie and I am that. The main character and like, she just her brain works in just different ways and she's like, and this is a sad song and this is a happy song and I'm like, Oh Lord, this is like, it's like life is a drama and she is the like main

Laura Bruner: character.

Laura Bruner: Oh my gosh, how funny. I can't wait for them to spend some

Jess Gaertner: time together. I know, I'm like very intrigued to see how that will, two like, very emotionally healthy, creative little girls.

Laura Bruner: Where that is like fostering [00:27:00] versus, you know, stifled.

Jess Gaertner: Yes, exactly. And, and Kami's the same way in terms of like, New situations to where she, she likes to observe, she will spend a lot of time with like the adults in new situations kind of like as a safe place to kind of watch and learn and see.

Jess Gaertner: And then when she's comfortable, she will engage. And so, yeah, they're just they're similar in a lot of ways. It seems like I know you got I love it.

Laura Bruner: I love it. Yeah. Now they're both that. Thanks for in with me crew. Well, I feel like that. I mean, I, I don't, I'm not sure. All is what I said, but I, I feel like that was very cathartic.

Laura Bruner: So thanks for listening. Yeah, life is good. And sometimes it's hard and that is the way that it is. But I'm curious to know what's going on with you. I mean, you have been taking pictures and editing out the yin yang and I would love to hear more.

Jess Gaertner: Yeah, I, it's a, it is bananas over here right now. I was kind of thinking about it before we hopped on.

Jess Gaertner: Like, what am I gonna talk about? And how do I, [00:28:00] and kind of prep, like pre processing before I came on, but it has been, so I am in the season, so okay, just rewinding, like the food photography is exploding more than I ever could have anticipated and much, much faster because it turns out that like, it's kind of a small world in terms of like all of my clients Like know each other and like the food photographers, but photographers that they use, like a lot of people kind of cross use the same photographers and like, they're just constantly like, if you're good and they enjoy working with you, they're like, like, I'm going to recommend you to my friend.

Jess Gaertner: And so that has kind of been what's happening where I, the last couple of months have just really tried to pour in and take care of like my current client or my like original clients. And it's like, it's turned into this just like word of mouth referral [00:29:00] system that where I'm like, I can't, like, I don't think I can take any, any more on because I am just, I'm trying to find the balance between What is going to like support us in this season and also like, will I ever get to like, like rest a little bit and the truth of the matter is like that is, you know, when you were saying like your needs are getting met, but maybe not all your wants, like I am in a season where like my needs are getting met, my wants are definitely not getting met, but that is fortunately, unfortunately, that's just like the season that we're in right now.

Jess Gaertner: And. Yeah. I'm like thanking my body. I'm trying to make maybe this is like the the seven in me that I feel like I do have like a little baby seven deep down inside of me where I'm like. Thanking my body for being able to, to be in a stress response, like a fight or flight [00:30:00] mode to like, get what needs to get done, done.

Jess Gaertner: Otherwise, like, I don't think that I would, like, I don't, I don't know how it would function if my body wasn't kind of ramped up a little bit. And so, it's, it's, it is necessary. There's, like, no... Way around the workload right now. So what I'm really trying to focus on is just how do I work on efficiencies?

Jess Gaertner: How do I work on in the very, very small limited margin of time that I have where I'm not working? How am I using that time? To try and fill my cup up as much as possible. But the truth of the matter is when I'm not working, I'm trying to support my Children and, you know, be with my partner. And so there's just, this is a season of life where there's just not a lot of time for me and those wants that I want, where like, I want to [00:31:00] take a day off, I want to not be constantly thinking about planning the next day of work, like I, those are definitely wants.

Jess Gaertner: And so I'm just rolling with it. It's, it's, it's. Another thing is, like, we've been constantly trying to figure out Tim's work, and while he's still looking for jobs in his field, part of, like, our perspective has shifted to, well, what if, like, all of these doors are opening for me in the food photography world, and he can, in order for him to kind of, like, step in and us to, like, build a business together, so there's a lot of, like, kind of, Questions and we're, we're in the process.

Jess Gaertner: That's fun. Yeah. So we're in the process of like exploring that and like what he want to do that because at the end of the day, like I want him to be happy. Like I enjoy photography. I don't know if he would enjoy being in this world at all. I mean, he's helping me like tremendously every single day. He is doing a lot of cooking, like he's going to the grocery store, he is helping me like efficiency wise, [00:32:00] but he, you know, we had a really long conversation about it yesterday where, because right now I can't take on more clients.

Jess Gaertner: Like I'm just like at the Mac. So it's like, what can we offer to existing clients to kind of grow this business in a way where Tim can like step in and be creative as well. And so we're kind of looking at video stuff because that's not something I'm interested in. Like I, I love photography. I don't necessarily care to learn video.

Jess Gaertner: Maybe that's just me being like stubborn, but he's interested in it. And so a lot of our clients are also looking for. Like videos, whether that's a real or, you know, on an iPhone or whether that's like a more cinematic approach with a DSLR camera. And so I don't have the time to develop that skill and he does.

Jess Gaertner: And so we're looking at that and really think that that could be something [00:33:00]kind of takes off and then on the flip side. You know, I have all of these, like, remote clients that I am doing work with. I also, just randomly, so I, what we need is a studio space. Our house is a thousand square feet, square feet, which is small for a family of four and two giant dogs just living here.

Jess Gaertner: It's very small and very not, not, what's the word? It just is not working well to also be the workspace. And so part of that efficiency is like, I have to set up and take down my lights, my camera, my boards, my props. I have to do that every single day. So like, I can't just have everything set up and have things cooking in the background and pull out my camera and take photos whenever like I have time.

Jess Gaertner: Like, it's a very intentional process. to get set up in our house. And so right now [00:34:00] I, so we were talking about just turning the dining room into like a studio because so I have all these props, right? Like I have, we have our own dishes that we need space for. And then I have all these props where I'm like, they're just literally everywhere.

Jess Gaertner: They're all over our house. I'm like, where's that bowl? Where's that platter I need? Where are those napkins? And I'm like telling the kids do not use these napkins. These are work napkins. So like all of our stuff is mixed, and so we're thinking about turning the dining room into our studio, and then at the end of the day I was like, I just don't, like, it just makes it too easy for work and home to, like, meld, and so we're actually at the point where we're like, okay, can't we find something, like, a studio close by?

Jess Gaertner: Where I can stay set up 24 seven, I can walk to work or bike to work or even a short drive, we can have all that because it's the groceries too. It's like, okay, don't eat those tomatoes. Those are like [00:35:00] Alex's tomatoes. The defined dish. Do not eat those tomatoes. It's like, okay, so now I'm going to see food in the refrigerator and they're like, with who?

Jess Gaertner: So it's like, We need a separate space for the food, the props, the lighting, the equipment that comes with everything. And as you get better, like there's just more and more equipment because you're trying to get more and more efficient. And so anyways, I, long story short, went on to Facebook and we are part of this like local It's like our neighborhood.

Jess Gaertner: And our neighborhood is not just a residential area. It's like this really cool, hip area of San Antonio where there's so many businesses and restaurants and all of that. So anyways, I was asking if someone had like a back house or a studio apartment that, because the, the hard part is for us, like we have to have a kitchen.

Jess Gaertner: And so not like, it's not just an office space, which is. easy to come by. It's like, I actually need like a fully functioning kitchen and I need to be able to leave my stuff up and I need to be able to cook there. And so anyways, kind of put the feelers out there and got a lot of responses back, [00:36:00] but also got a lot of people being like, Oh, you're a food photographer.

Jess Gaertner: These are from like the local businesses and restaurants. And they're like, we need a food photographer for our restaurant, our product, you know, like these are people that live and work in our neighborhood and who now are like, You know, just, I mean, it was like, that is huge.

Laura Bruner: I know. Ghost bumps.

Jess Gaertner: This is so cool.

Jess Gaertner: I know. It's really cool. And like, you know, the restaurant photography, I've done it before, but it's not something that I've like thought about doing like intentionally. But so many people reached out that I was like, okay, like this could be really cool. Just getting plugged in locally here. And I loved doing the restaurant shoot that I've done.

Jess Gaertner: So anyways, one of one of the local places Actually, we just need to sit down today and figure this, but I don't know if y'all have Cineholics. It's a franchise, I think, but they're just like these over the top beautiful, like, you know, food porn style. I hate that term, but that's what it is. [00:37:00] Like cinnamon roll and cookies and brownies and all that.

Jess Gaertner: She, I think I'm going to do a shoot with her here. I can like literally walk to the cinnamon roll shop to kind of like, just get my bearings with it. And, you know, cause you have to, I want to take my light. I got to take my tripod. I got to take, you know, all the things that I need. And so I'm going to be doing that soon.

Jess Gaertner: Sorry, this is just turning into me talking about food photography for like 30 minutes, but This is your

Laura Bruner: life right now, and that's what we're here to share, and I'm so excited

Jess Gaertner: about it. Yeah, so it's great to kind of like, you're gonna bring it back home slash wrap up, like, it's great. Doors are like literally being kicked open right and left.

Jess Gaertner: Every day I'm like, someone just emailed me for photography services. You know, like I, it's, I feel so lucky and like the, the indication is clear that this is a path, like I should move, like lean into, it's more just figuring out how to [00:38:00] do it without burning myself out, which is like, like, I can see it, I can see it happening, I can see.

Jess Gaertner: Like, even my eyes, I've got to learn how to, like, so my eyes have been going blurry at the end of the day. So, like, I'll shoot two or three rest pieces, like the max I can do it a day. I saw your story where you were

Laura Bruner: like, is this normal? Did

Jess Gaertner: anyone reply? Oh, yeah. Lots of photographers replied. They were like, it happens to me all the time.

Jess Gaertner: That's so good. Like, so it's normal, but also like. Not necessarily great. Not healthy. Yeah. So, um, wants and needs, wants and needs. Yes. So, like, after shooting and I'm trying to figure out, like, what is the max load for me? Because two recipes might sound like not a lot, but it's actually a really, it's a lot with the process.

Jess Gaertner: So, like, not only do I have to, we have to cook everything, we have to take process shots, take ingredient shots, It's a lot of stopping and starting and like, [00:39:00] I, I, this

Laura Bruner: is why people are so excited to know that you're there because it's so hard to do this kind of work and so to have like, that's why you are being sought after because you're good at it and it is so much work and I just hope that people are paying you appropriately for

Jess Gaertner: well, how hard it is.

Jess Gaertner: They are. I think they are. I also think that there's probably a room for Yeah, For that to go up, you know, in the future, but it's like, at the same time, it's like, I'm building my client base and I really want to take care of the people that kind of invested in me. Initially, and so, yeah, those are just conversations that will come as like, I think I get more seasoned, but yeah, I mean, for the, for the time being, like, I feel appropriately compensated for the work that I'm doing and feels really good, but it's like, at the same time, it's like I, when it's not just like, okay, here, shoot this recipe, like whatever, like I really care.

Jess Gaertner: The photos look like from the ingredient stuff like process [00:40:00] shot all the way to every single process like I want it to look beautiful and I think for me like I have to find a balance because Tim is constantly like you need to move on like he'll be like move on from the shot. It looks fine. And I'm like, no, but it's like, there's something, and he's like, it's just the, it's just a shot of like freaking flour in a bowl.

Jess Gaertner: It doesn't have to be like this artistic thing. And I'm like, but it does. So I, it's like, I care so much about it that I just need to kind of find a balance between doing a really good job and also like letting it be Like what it is, but it's like a flower in a bowl shot. Like it doesn't have to be styled completely to the max.

Jess Gaertner: But so that's kind of, that's where I'm at. I am, things are just, I am like dreaming about food photography every single night, which is just like, feels not good. Like I literally will go to bed, [00:41:00] I'm going to shoot pumpkin cinnamon rolls next week. And I'm like, okay, pumpkin cinnamon rolls. It's like my brain is processing.

Jess Gaertner: What they're going to look like while I'm sleeping and I just can't get a break. It's like I literally woke up several times last night being like, okay, brown bowls. It's going to have a brown vibe. I need a brown coffee cup. Like it's just it's it is. Wild that it's taking up so much of my mental energy.

Jess Gaertner: Hey there friends. Pausing this episode to share a bit about our wonderful friend Brianna White, a fantastic real estate agent based in Bend, Oregon. She's also a wife, mama, and a member of this awesome Modern Mama's podcast community.

Laura Bruner: She has a super unique approach to real estate, which includes using her mobile Airstream bar for open houses and housewarming parties.

Jess Gaertner: And she offers a complimentary family photo shoot for her clients in their new home and then presents them with a beautiful coffee table book to cherish this major life milestone. I wish I had that when I moved into my home. [00:42:00] Seriously. So cool.

Laura Bruner: So if you're in Bend and looking for a real estate agent who truly understands the needs of a modern family, connect with our amazing sponsor.

Laura Bruner: She's the perfect partner to help you find or sell your dream home.

Jess Gaertner: Even if you're not in Bend, Oregon, our fantastic sponsor, Brianna can still help with your real estate needs.

Laura Bruner: That's right. Brianna has access to top real estate agents all over the country, and she's more than happy to help you find the perfect agent for your needs, no matter where you are now or where you're looking to move.

Jess Gaertner: She does the legwork for you, interviewing agents in your area or your desired location, and then making a personal introduction to ensure you're working with someone who truly understands your needs and preferences.

Laura Bruner: It's like having a personal real estate matchmaker. So whether you're in Bend or anywhere else in the country, don't hesitate to reach out to Brianna.

Laura Bruner: Let someone else do the searching when it comes to finding a great real estate agent. You deserve the best and Brianna will help make that happen. Supporting our sponsor can be as simple as following her on Instagram at briannacelsbend, that's at. B R E A N A sells bend, where you'll find great content, education, gorgeous homes and family [00:43:00] adventures.

Laura Bruner: I'm sure you will connect with her just like we have.

Jess Gaertner: Thank you friends for supporting our podcast by considering our sponsor Brianna for your real estate needs. Check her out at Brianna sells bend. That's b r e a n a cells bend dot k w dot com. Brought to you by Brianna White, broker with Keller Williams Realty, Central Oregon, Equal Housing Opportunity.

Jess Gaertner: Now let's dive back into our episode. I imagine that will

Laura Bruner: settle, I hope that will settle, like as you get more, like you spent more time and like. It's not so new, but also, Cammie has a soundtrack to her life, I feel like you have a photo album to your life.

Jess Gaertner: I'm like, maybe, maybe we're more alike than I actually think.

Jess Gaertner: But yeah, so it's eating, sleeping, living, breathing food photography right now, and it's great, and I feel really like, I feel like this is something that I love to do, I just gotta make sure that it's... [00:44:00] I need to put some processes and stopgaps in place to make sure that it's, it remains something that I love.

Jess Gaertner: Yeah, like built in,

Laura Bruner: like actually take, are you still taking like Sabbath? Kind of

Jess Gaertner: like bleeding in and out, trying. But it's like, you know, in order for the week to be smooth, there needs to be a lot of planning and oftentimes because I'm working so much during like the previous week, the planning takes place on like, you know, it's like Saturday afternoon, evening, where we're like winding down, but yeah, it's like, I need to go to the grocery, if we're going to shoot on Monday, we need to get groceries now, like I can't spend meal plans.

Jess Gaertner: That time in the morning, grocery shopping, like we need to be able to jump into work right away. So, yeah, I don't know if anyone has any, like, and, and I've tried like doing the grocery delivery because like, I know that would take some time off, but it's like, you know, things don't come in the grocery [00:45:00] delivery or like, you know, it's like not, I don't just need an apple.

Jess Gaertner: Like I need the apple to actually be pretty.

Laura Bruner: And I mean, sometimes the stuff I do it all the time and I get reimbursed all the time, like if they pick something or like. That's like super weird. I'm like, what replacement is this? And Instacart will just like reimburse you. Yeah. But I'm like, who would pick an avocado that's literally

Jess Gaertner: rotting?

Jess Gaertner: Yeah. Yeah. And then it's like, it's like fine for the reimbursement, but like now I still have to go to the store and get the avocado that's like not gonna work. And so then it just like negates the whole like time saving aspect of what this is supposed to do. So, yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of a circus right now, but I'm just trying to be intentional too, like even finally when I'm able to like kind of shut off and turn my brain off at night, like just spending time with the kids, looking into their face, laying with them, they always want me to snuggle them at night and just like looking them in the eyes and telling them that I love them and I miss them and [00:46:00] hearing about their day and letting them talk and You know, just trying to be there for them.

Jess Gaertner: I don't think they feel because most of the work is being done, you know, while they're at school. So it's like trying not to let it feel frantic when they're home and trying to maintain some sense of like peace and calm in our home environment. But like their, their lives are reaping up too. It's like they're to school, Bear's soccer is in full go.

Jess Gaertner: Like we're actually starting games this weekend. So our Saturdays are going to be, you know, pretty soccer heavy from here on out. And then Cammy's in, what is she doing? Girl Scouts. And she also is, we're taking a break from the baking because it's also on Saturdays and like, we just can't do everything.

Jess Gaertner: Surprise, surprise. But she started choir at school, which is on Wednesdays and it's right after school and it's like, it's perfect actually, cause it's pretty short. But she loves it. Oh my God, she told me she wants to be on Broadway and do [00:47:00] musicals. So she's like, so jazzed about choir. I don't know. I don't know this kid.

Jess Gaertner: This is this kid is like such a special, unique little individual. She's doing choir and Girl Scouts, Bear's doing soccer, which takes up a lot of his time. He loves it. And him and Tim get to spend a lot of time together doing that too, but it's just a really And I have to accept and look, even Tim got, so we're making all these plans for him to like help me with my business.

Jess Gaertner: And his, one of his former companies that he's done some project work with reached out and was like, Hey, do you have availability? Like we're working on pitching a project and wanted to see if you would be available. And he's like, he's like, yes, I am available. We'll, we'll see if it works out. But I was like, what, what if we're planning all this?

Jess Gaertner: And then they actually do sign you on for that project. He's like, we'll just in a season where we have to say yes to everything and see how it goes. [00:48:00] He's like, I'm gonna have to get up at five and work. And shoot recipes or whatever like we'll just do it like we'll just say yes to everything because I honestly feel like I just feel like saying yes right now is, in my gut, the right thing to do, even if it feels hard, because I feel like more...

Jess Gaertner: It's a very Laura

Laura Bruner: mindset. You will

Jess Gaertner: say yes to everything. I mean, in a way, because, not because I'm like, say yes to everything because we need it, or because, like, we have to, but in my, in my gut, in my, like, mind, I feel like... These are relationships and opportunities that we're also building. I feel like my life has been dictated by my, the strength of my community and my relationships in a positive way.

Jess Gaertner: Like, not dictated in a negative way, but like, everything that I've ever built, I feel like the spark there, or the like, really magical part of it, is because, it's because of the relationship. So like, even with food photography, it's like, [00:49:00] Cassie was my first client, and then she introduced me. Because we're in a relationship and we've done good work together for a while, she introduced me to, like, Alex at the Define Dish, and then, because Alex just, like, loved my work, she's introduced me to other people, and, like, it just continues to, and the podcast, it's, like, You know, I have a really good friend through the podcast, Molly, who reached out about Tim's work and like a potential, like connection there.

Jess Gaertner: And it's like, I just don't know where I would be without the relationships that I have. And I'm just going to continue to lean into that and say yes. And because ultimately at the end of the day, like, even if it doesn't work out, like business wise, there's a relationship there that I'm building and that's important to me.

Jess Gaertner: So. Okay, I think I rambled. In the short term, this weekend is going to be so It's going to be wild. We have a wedding tomorrow. No, today, today. Whoops. It's [00:50:00] today. Lauren who works with Cassie and is just a delightful human. She's getting married tonight. And so we have to, we don't have, our Grammy is not available.

Jess Gaertner: So we're taking the kids, we're picking them up after school, taking them to our friend's house in New Braunfels, which is like 45 minutes away. They're going to spend the night. We're going to go to the wedding straight from there. Come home, sleep, wake up, go get them in New Braunfels. Bear's gonna get dressed for a soccer game there, we're gonna pick him up, we're gonna take him to the soccer game, and obviously Cammy, and he's gonna have his first soccer game, and then we're gonna come home, we're gonna relax, hopefully, Saturday evening, and then Sunday we are going to see Harry Potter, gosh I forget which one it is, the Deathly Hallows maybe?

Jess Gaertner: Part one. I can't remember. Anyways, our friends invited us. They're showing it in the theater. It's like a draft house where it's like food and like kind of a little bit different than like a, your standard theater. I think it's for some sort of, Oh

Laura Bruner: my God, that sounds so much fun. You're gonna lose their minds.[00:51:00]

Jess Gaertner: Part of me was like, Oh, we should really shouldn't do this on Sunday. Like we should just, you know, relax. And I was like, no, like this is amazing. This is exactly what I want to do on my Sunday afternoon. Like truly. So we're going to go with some of Cammie and Bear's friends from school and watch Harry Potter in the theater.

Jess Gaertner: So excited. So that's kind of our, our weekend. And then some, some point I'm going to plan, today I have to edit a lot because what I found with my iStuff and what I've learned, what people recommended is I'm trying not to shoot and edit on the same day because it's like you're you're staring not it's not just that you're staring at a screen it's like you are straining trying to see if it's crisp is it does everything look good like you are literally like nose to screen like making sure that the photo looks good.

Jess Gaertner: So you just, it's like, that's where your eyes get really, really strained because you're only looking at things like in a short distance. And so it's like, I can't shoot and [00:52:00] edit on the same day. I've got to be able to like give my eyes a break and look away in the distance and like not be on my phone.

Jess Gaertner: Like, and that's a really positive thing. Actually, if I could spend this positively, like my eyes are shot, but it forces me, like, I can't look at my phone after a work day. Like, I just can't, like, I'm literally holding it. I'm like my mom and my dad with like a pair of readers. Like the phone is like I don't know, three feet away from me and I'm trying to see it.

Jess Gaertner: I'm like, this is dumb. Like, why do I need to look at my phone anyways? So it's forcing me to put that away. The downside is I can't even really read. Like, I read a lot of books on the Kindle and I can't do that either in the evening. So it's a lot of like, well, I guess I'll just go to sleep. Dream about pumpkin cinnamon rolls.

Jess Gaertner: I don't know. So I

Laura Bruner: love this for you. I feel like this is like the healthiest work. I know. Maybe it's not. Everyone's like, Oh my God, her eyes and her, her brain. And, but I'm like, this is the healthiest work you could be doing like for your headspace. And, you know, it's like, Oh, you're going to be, you've tried multiple iterations and you've succeeded and like [00:53:00] being off social media.

Laura Bruner: And you know, there's more in your bed right there. You know, intuitively that like it is, better for you to not be in that space. And now you're like, this is like, you literally can't be. Yeah. And you get to do something that fills you up, that you're passionate about, that you're really, really good at. And at the same time, you're still building community and fostering community and serving community, but just in a way that you don't have to share so much of like the intimacies of your life.

Laura Bruner: And I think, I just think it's so cool.

Jess Gaertner: It is. And it feels really cool. And it feels like a really epic milestone in terms of, like, obviously I'm still online, But like this is a business that is not online primarily like yeah, I'll share like my images and I'll share some of the process but it's like it's not like I'm really trying to like grow a following.

Jess Gaertner: I mean I could, but like it wouldn't necessarily benefit me in a huge way. You don't need to. Yeah.

Laura Bruner: How freeing

Jess Gaertner: is that? It's really freeing. I mean I, granted I do miss. Like connecting with some, like just kind of sharing life, but at the end of the day, it's like, I'm really excited to [00:54:00] see what having a business like this, where it's like, I'm in it, you know, it's not like just me sharing, like, I don't know, and not to take anything away from influencing air quotes or the business that I've built in the past, because that was primarily what I did.

Jess Gaertner: It's just different and I think probably positive for me and my mental health to be really focused on what's right in front of me versus looking out into the world and like, what are other people doing and how can I influence other people's behaviors, decisions, et cetera, et cetera, not that that's what I'm doing, like intentionally, but that's essentially what my online business is like and so it's just as good like it's, yeah.

Jess Gaertner: It's good. It's hard because I haven't done it in a long time. Like I haven't run a business like this in a long time, but I do like I agree with what you're saying. Like, I think this is a good thing and I'm trying to embrace it and [00:55:00] we'll see where it goes. And you know, on the other hand, it's like I'm still, I I'm in the same boat with you, where it's like, I still love Beauty Canada, I love my team, I'm in constant communication with them, maybe a little bit less so in this season, but, you know, I'm hoping that we'll still continue to be strong and supported, and we're, you know, you and I, Laura, are working on ways to try and see if we can do that.

Jess Gaertner: Um, with some help, like with Ashley's help and whoever, you know, we can kind of get to kind of help support us in those, those businesses and just make sure that things like the podcast and things like beauty counter don't go away. They just maybe become a little bit easier for us to show up in when we can't.

Jess Gaertner: So I don't know. That's a big ramble. Does that make sense? I don't know. I kind of blacked out as well. Are you there? She's gone. She's left. She's left me. I was

Laura Bruner: in full transparency. I was wiping a butt.

Jess Gaertner: So that's my life right now. Nice. [00:56:00] Aye yai yai. Life is so good. It's so full and wants and needs. You know, it's like we've said it before.

Laura Bruner: We'll never be needed like this again. And also like, I don't know how cool that we're just to give us like a shout out. Cause we get that too. Like we're building businesses and doing work that we care about and that matters. We're serving people and we're helping people, and we're sharing our like messy journey.

Laura Bruner: And I know just that and of itself is helping people. So props to us. . Props to everyone listening.

Jess Gaertner: Props to us matter.

Laura Bruner: Props to us, and props to everyone listening for juggling. I'm not gonna say balancing, but juggling all the things. Is that

Jess Gaertner: good? I just on a whim gave her I made a fresh batch of apple butter yesterday from our trees like one crazy and I just mixed a bunch of it with peanut butter and she's going to ham on it.

Jess Gaertner: I mean, that sounds delicious. I know

Laura Bruner: I'm about to put that

Jess Gaertner: on some oatmeal.

Laura Bruner: But I mean, just bite a spoonful. I see you kid. [00:57:00] Can you say, bye friends? Bye friends.

Jess Gaertner: Oh, it's a peanut

Laura Bruner: butter filled, mouth filled, bye friends.

Jess Gaertner: Cutie pies. Well, I love you friend. Love you too. I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm proud, proud of us. We're, we're doing the best we can. We're doing the best we can.

Laura Bruner: And, and our best right now is, it's good. It's hard, but it's also. It's good. It's

Jess Gaertner: good.

Laura Bruner: It's good, dang it. Life is good. I'm an Enneagram 7. Everything

Jess Gaertner: is good. Oh, on that note, friends, thanks for tuning in and listening to us. We appreciate you. We'll see you next week. Bye. podcast.

Jess Gaertner: See

Laura Bruner: you next time. Bye.[00:58:00]