MMP Ep 327: L&J Talk: Back To School Transitions

MMP Ep 327: L&J Talk: Back To School Transitions

Laura Bruner: ​[00:00:00]

Laura Bruner: Hey friends! Can't wait till Wednesdays to get your Modern Mamas fix? Join us on Patreon. You can choose your tier, and when you subscribe, you'll get bonus content, early access to Retreat, first peeks at new swag, plus shoutouts and even real time monthly virtual hangs with us. Visit patreon.

Jess Gaertner: com forward slash modern mamas podcast to check it out and support the podcast.

Jess Gaertner: It truly means the world to us. We are so grateful for you and for this community.

Laura Bruner: Hi friends! Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to [00:01:00] Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.

Laura Bruner: I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough. And mindful movement.

Jess Gaertner: And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a Level 1 CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a Masters in Kinesiology, and Mama Tiberian Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

Jess Gaertner: Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners, and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Modern Mamas podcast.

Jess Gaertner: We're here. Hey. Hello. Good morning. And we're going to try and do a topical this morning. We haven't done one in a while. We're going to

Laura Bruner: try. Yep. I feel like all summer we didn't do one because, I don't know, it didn't, there wasn't the space, the headspace primarily. We had the space to get on record. We made the space.

Laura Bruner: And as far as like headspace is concerned. I think you and I both, I know I for sure needed this space just to practice. Mm

Jess Gaertner: [00:02:00] hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And so grateful for that, for sure. Yeah, it's like, it's not even like the topical stuff that we're chatting about is super, like, mental, like, it doesn't even really, it's not like, We have to research or form like an educated opinion.

Jess Gaertner: It's just like something about being, having to like be intentional with our, with my thoughts at least is like, it just felt really hard this

Laura Bruner: summer. Yeah. And it wasn't even, it was that. And also for me, it was like, I wanted this hour to just like for catharsis and sometimes the topical stuff isn't as much open.

Laura Bruner: I feel, I feel like to kind of segue into the topic. The first week of school, Evie would come home and she was like, I, mama, they just like, she's used to four school where she had hours, three, four hours of just free play. There was very, very, very little, if any structure. And then now she's in this Montessori school and there's more structure.

Laura Bruner: And she was just like, Mama, like it, she's like, I like it, but [00:03:00] I just want space to just play. And I'm like, that's kind of how I felt with the podcast this summer is like, I like the structure of a topical. I just want space to verbally vomit all over you guys. Thanks for that space. Oh,

Jess Gaertner: yeah. Yeah. 100%. Oh, Evie. I can't wait to hear more about her school experience. I know. It's like, it's. It's, I mean, I consider Montessori to be like the most, the most encouraging, or one of the most encouraging of like play based, like structured schools, but at the same time, when you're coming from like, you know, your day is spent like in the forest, you know, with tons of

Laura Bruner: play.

Laura Bruner: It's like starting the day with a hike to where they play and then it's literally just like free for all.

Jess Gaertner: Right. And like, I feel like that's just, it's, it's no matter what, it's going to be a transition for any kid. The end. Aww.

Laura Bruner: Yeah. And she is loving it and I struggled at first. Oh, so [00:04:00] we, so friends, our topic today is going to be like back to school transitions and like, what does the morning in the life look like?

Laura Bruner: Like the rituals and kind of routines of getting out the door, et cetera. That's our goal. We're not going to, we reserve the right to change our mind as we move. It won't be intentional, but it might happen. But yeah. What was I going to say? Oh yeah. So we had this transition happen and at the same time, like two days into school, Rusty left unexpectedly.

Laura Bruner: So it was like a couple different compiling transitions, one on top of the other. Or first the transition, which I'm learning now that this is the second dispatch of the summer. Like it takes me five to seven days to settle into our new rhythm and to transition. I know that will get easier summer after summer, but.

Laura Bruner: This time I think it took a, it took the full seven days. Today's, it's a week today, and I feel like this, yesterday was flowy. The day before was intense. And so it's like, I feel like I'm finally, we're getting into our rhythm, Evie's transitioning, you know, we're finding that space. But then [00:05:00] on top of that, we also had to find a whole new transition into like a school morning.

Laura Bruner: And all of that. So we did it. I feel like I can sit here today on Thursday and be like, okay, we are almost done with our second week. And I feel like we found our rhythm for now with Rustic on and, and, and we're just kind of moving through. So yeah, transitions are important. They can be very hard, they can be very growth inducing.

Laura Bruner: Mm-hmm. Hmm. And it's all a matter of perspective, right?

Jess Gaertner: Oh, gosh, yes. I, I, oh my, my brain feels fried. Oh. I'm sorry, not to, not to interrupt the stream of thought, but we have a

Laura Bruner: Patreon member that I was going to ask before we even started talking. I'm like,

Jess Gaertner: I even thought about it before we got out. I was like, I cannot forget because I've been staring at it like every time after we record.

Jess Gaertner: I'm like, dang it. But let me let me do this. And then that way, maybe my brain will release like a little bit of thoughts on other subjects. But we want to welcome Ariana. She'll born to our

Laura Bruner: patreon community. She's a very

Jess Gaertner: special mama [00:06:00] and she is indeed and we're just so glad that you're here friend Thanks for for joining us for

Laura Bruner: joining us.

Laura Bruner: Yes, and if y'all are curious of what that even means Maybe you just popped in for the first time or you haven't heard about patreon we have a really rad patreon community of at this point all women and There are really sweet offerings and there are multiple levels so you can start just five bucks a month which I think of as like A nice Starbucks, you know, and then you can go upwards of 20 and depending on what tier you're in, you get, everyone gets something.

Laura Bruner: We have zoom calls every quarter. We have flows from me and recipes from you and texts and all kinds of stuff and an extra episode. Yeah, no, an extra episode every month. And those are, I mean, you think it gets real and raw here, pretty next level in those. And then as we move out of this season, I feel like, and kind of, I feel like we've both just been in this big season of transition this summer.

Laura Bruner: And I, you know, I have a, I have to remember, like I have a toddler. And so our goal is as, as, as, as, as long as all goes [00:07:00] according to plan where no more babies for us. And as we move into this next season. We do plan to do meetups that are going to be exclusive to Patreon members only. And that is, as far as we are, have planned, that is the only kind of in person gathering that's even on our radar.

Laura Bruner: So just know that as well. But yeah, I, I love that space. I love that community. I love that it's growing and it feels like it's growing with it, like a lot of intention. People think about it, they talk to us about it and, and, or they just sign up and it makes our day every time. Right. We hope to see more of you there, friends.

Laura Bruner: Yes, please join us. Join us. Join us.

Jess Gaertner: And honestly, you have that. Well, I don't know if you've shared this yet. Anyways, you're working on some sweet swag for some other things that you've got going. Yeah. And that like really inspired me because we've always wanted to do swag for like Patreon community mostly.

Jess Gaertner: And I just, I really want to do that and make that happen. Cause your stuff that you've been working on was like, so [00:08:00] Adorable. So

Laura Bruner: anyway, some new offerings coming to the Sourdough Sisterhood family, and I'm very excited. Ooh!

Jess Gaertner: Gonna be cool! When is that coming?

Laura Bruner: Do you have any? I think I'm, I, so I did a little story like teaser and I was like, hey, should I wait and make this like a holiday launch and, or do you just want it now?

Laura Bruner: And it was like now, like a hundred percent. So I think, I think within the next week I'm going to, I got some samples sent to my house and so I will be sharing and opening up that. It's like a, I'm going to keep Etsy, but this is a second shop. And this is more like kind of just fun. I'm able to create it online.

Laura Bruner: It's like more drop ship, but like nice. It's what's the brand? It's like Bella, you know, like the nice Bella cotton Bella and canvas. And so pretty excited. And I got so just because you are all here and I want to make sure I share things here. First. We've got Trucker Sourdough Sisterhood, Trucker Hats, a really, really cute crop sweatshirt, a crop tee.

Laura Bruner: And then I'm actually in the process this morning. I was working on some [00:09:00]sweet like tiny Baker Wednesdays. And I'll probably do a kid's tea as well. And a water bottle. I have a water bottle as well. So that's kind of fun. I love that. Yeah. And I think for the holidays, I want to do, I don't want to do like a drop ship mug.

Laura Bruner: I want to do a mug that's like, I don't know, there's something to me about mugs. Like Russ and I are doing a big clean out of all of our mugs when he gets back. I just like handmade, like for me it's, and I think a lot of people would agree on that. So I would like to partner with somebody either locally or something and do like a, you know, batch of very special sourdough sisterhood holiday exclusives mugs into a bundle.

Laura Bruner: I did a ornament last year, which was super fun. I might do that again, but getting excited for holiday stuff, but also really excited to launch just like another facet. And I think I've already shared here. I'm doing a sourdough croissant mini resource that I will be, it'll be only an ebook form and that will be coming to my shop very soon as well.

Laura Bruner: I've done a second iteration of those and they. [00:10:00] Now I have two different options as far as like proofing times. And the second one allows for like you to shape and everything that evening or afternoon before and put them in the fridge, like fully proofed and ready. So in the morning you just pop them in the oven and then you don't have to wake up super early or anything.

Laura Bruner: It's just like easy button. You've got fresh baked croissants and I also popped two fully proofed ones in the freezer. And so I'm going to do a trial when Rusty gets back of baking shaped proofed croissants from frozen. So just more options to simplify the sourdough process. Cause that's always been my goal is like.

Laura Bruner: This doesn't have to be as complicated as the really fancy schmancy beautiful Instagram accounts make it seem Because they are doing next level like I don't have a proofing drawer I am doing it based on what I have in my kitchen and I want to make it accessible. That's my thing It's not gonna be like the fanciest schmanciest croissant.

Laura Bruner: You're gonna get like the nicest French bakery in your neighborhood, but it's so delicious It's more easily digestible and it is So special because you're baking it in your own kitchen and I said here like I almost cried that first [00:11:00] bite I was like, I made something laminated and it's just really cool.

Laura Bruner: So anyways, if I can do it, y'all can do it. I promise. Yeah. So that's what's coming. She's excited to talk about school.

Jess Gaertner: Yes. Sorry. I think I threw us off. No, I

Laura Bruner: love it. It's hard. Topicals are hard. And I, you know, I would love to hear from you all like Do you really love the topicals? Do you love when we just get on and kind of shoot the shot?

Laura Bruner: Because we are having a hard time with topicals in this season. I

Jess Gaertner: know. I just feel like it's hard to, I mean, I don't know. Let's try. Let's try. Okay, let's try. Let's try. How about you go first? Because I feel like you're in case everyone's going to wake up. Everyone's over there and you're solo parenting.

Jess Gaertner: Give us the update because I know it's probably, it's really, like, we've been in school for over, it's been a, it's a month now. So, anyways, I feel like it's a lot more fresh in your mind too, so tell us what's up over there, like, tell us what's going along

Laura Bruner: the story, it's very sweet. We, I, it's a block from our house, we cross one street, and it's not even that busy, and we have found a [00:12:00] really sweet little rhythm.

Laura Bruner: And so I will say, like, kind of just to reiterate or circle back to what I started saying earlier is that, It's a transition. And I kept having, like, I reached out to her teachers and, you know, there was a, there's a spot in skills, her skills class at Nature Experience, the, the forest school, that there's an open spot.

Laura Bruner: And so I had this idea, I'm like, what if I just pull her from Montessori one day a week and she, a friend of mine takes her kid, she would have a ride. And she could do one day at Forest School and then four days at Montessori. I reached out to the school and they were like, no. They're like, the way the kindergarten is set up is we fit a lot in and they need to attend all five days.

Laura Bruner: And I was like, you know, I don't like being told what to do. Frustrated at first. And I, and I also, also a sign of growth for me is I was like, I'm just going to pause on this. Breath is gone. There is a lot happening. It, this is also probably me trying to control a season that feels out of control. So I was just like, okay, deep breaths.

Laura Bruner: That's fine. Or she looks, she's happy. And ultimately it's on me. If she's missing like the nature [00:13:00] walks and the free play, I need to make sure that I am, as her mom, making time for that. So when Rusty gets home, we are going to fall into, I know already, like a really solid rhythm of After school walks like I'm gonna try and take a solo hike with her, especially where it's looking like we're gonna potentially have some help for the next two months, which is so ideal.

Laura Bruner: So our summer nanny was so incredible. She was coming just twice a week. She went back to school, but her family has an exchange student from Kenya. Who is now, I think she's here more permanently. I'm not exactly sure, but I've been talking to our nanny's mom and She's looking for like temporary work for the next two months and apparently she's just amazing Like so good with kids the biggest heart and I trust this family with my soul because they're Jenna is just insanely awesome So anyways, she's gonna come over this afternoon and meet the girls and hang out for a little bit and I'm just gonna spend some time with her because I think I shared here that like we it's like This, the week that Rusty left and Evie started [00:14:00] school, we lost almost all childcare help because all, all these wonderful humans that love my girls went back to some sort of school.

Jess Gaertner: Dang it. Oh man. Dang their education.

Laura Bruner: I know. And we had a nanny set up, a nanny share set up and that gal, I think I shared that too, just like backed out last minute. So lots of transitions happening, lots of flow shifts, but anyway, so that might work out in which case. Up until resting season is done, I could have that help.

Laura Bruner: So at least like twice, because the issue is, Indy is sleeping when Evie gets out of school. And so one of our buddies is walking her home. And then, you know, then it's like she's home and I, I've been really working on it like slow is fast, less is more. Stop whatever I'm doing when she gets home, which took a few days, I'm not going to lie to you, because it was like Indy and I, I'll go through our ritual in the morning, but like we'd walk her to school, I'd take a walk with Indy and then come home and then I'm with Indy for the next like hour or so till nap time.

Laura Bruner: Literally, like, get Indy down for a nap, get some food in my body, and then I would watch an EV walking to the front door, and I'm like, oh my gosh, [00:15:00] I have had, like, no, no time really, except for the early morning to work. So I had to just, like, reset my expectations for productivity in the morning. And we have had, now for these two weeks, one of the, my, the mom's helpers come in the afternoon for a couple hours, so I'm still getting everything done.

Laura Bruner: It just took a mental, like, switch flip for me to be okay with that, and so, anyways, all that to say, finding a new rhythm, and what I'm learning again and again is that, like, in this season of my life, These rhythms, I can get attached to them. And again, it's a seeking of control, but they're constantly shifting.

Laura Bruner: So I have a solid rhythm and it might only be for two weeks and then it's going to shift again. So just being open to that, but also having the non negotiables, like I am going to move my body. Again, this goes back to the wants first need. I want to go to the gym three, at least three days a week, but that want isn't getting that right now, but I need to move my body every day.

Laura Bruner: And I can make that happen and still show up for the girls in the way that. Their needs need to be met. So anyways, [00:16:00] just figuring out like, what are the non negotiables and then what can I shuffle and move around and flex? And how can I flex? And again, that's very growth inducing to me because I can get like control, like really have this need for control.

Laura Bruner: And so again, motherhood and surrender, it's big, but we're figuring it out. And she, you know, it's like the first week she was like, I miss my free play and my, cause what happens is they get time to do work on a project and she gets so deeply immersed in it. I imagine Cammie is similar and she does not like to be cut off or told to stop when she's in it.

Laura Bruner: And that's the way school works. There are transitions, there's recess time and there's Lots of free play time, but it's only a right now this week. It's only a three hour day She start going till one o'clock next week But anyway, so she had to transition there and I kept having her teachers and friends parents say like she'll she'll adjust and in my mind I'm like I do I want her to adjust?

Laura Bruner: Because our plan next year is to send her back to nature school twice a week to have her go to One day a week at our local [00:17:00] homeschool, like co op situation. And then for me to homeschool and like, I want her to lose this deep desire to be in nature and like that to be her education. But I think that now that I've sat in it and talked through it with friends, I'm like, yeah, it's that adjustment's great.

Laura Bruner: Now she's going to be a little bit more versatile. She's going to learn to read and learn her numbers and then next year. And then I will continue to foster her love for like a daily hike and try and really create space for free play at home or out wherever we are to hopefully. So maintain that, but then on top of that, she's also going to learn the skills of like communication and adjust to, cause life requires some structure.

Laura Bruner: Yes,

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Jess Gaertner: It will be good. It's, yeah, it's like ultimately it's not your end goal, like the end theme that you want her to get from school, but at the same time, like anytime my kids come, sorry, not, not to interrupt,

Laura Bruner: but just to interject. No, I, I love this. Yeah, please.

Jess Gaertner: Anytime my kids come home and I'm like, man, You know, like they had a tough time or they had to, you know, communicate or there's a conflict at school and there's it required like resolution, like my first initial response was like, uh, like, why, like, it's not like, why, why, yeah, not my kiddo, but at the end of it, it's like, again, it goes back to resiliency, like our kids, Need to be able to, in my opinion, and I could speak for just from for Baron Camille, but I want them to be able to be resilient where it's like, okay.

Jess Gaertner: You know, I don't know what they're going to grow up to be like, I literally have no idea and we want to impart these things like love of nature and freedom and play [00:20:00] method at the end, like maybe they want to be, I don't can't even think of something that sits in an office right now, like an engineer or something like maybe that's bears like passion and it's going to require him to like be in an office a lot of the time or to be focused and have a project in a deadline.

Jess Gaertner: And, you know, it's like, yeah. I always think back to, I just want them to be able to be flexible and resilient and those ways and like when they're an adult, they'll be able to pursue their own passions and maybe for Evie, that is outdoor and nature, but you know, maybe she finds an office job that she loves.

Jess Gaertner: I don't know. That would be wild, but totally. And then she has, she has those skills to be able to adapt to that environment and then And

Laura Bruner: I don't want to like be selfish and just because my had this like intense passion for nature. Like I don't want to then not expose her to other types of learning and structure because it makes me uncomfortable.

Jess Gaertner: You know, that's that would be selfish. So I know what you're saying. I don't think you're being selfish. I think [00:21:00] that we passed down our values to our kids and that's a huge one for you. And they're going to take that value as they evolve into their own tiny like humans with preferences. And they're gonna, they're gonna incorporate it in ways that feel right for, for who they are.

Jess Gaertner: I see that already with Bear. It's like, there's so many things that I see us passing down to him, but there are things that he's, you know, like, that just are not him. Innately bare. Yes. And so, you know, I, I think that it's admirable and wonderful and we give our kids a foundation. So I was going to say too.

Jess Gaertner: Yeah. But ultimately they're going to grow up and morph into their own people. But yeah, I don't, I, I, all that to say, like everything that you're saying. That you're saying, I think it's not, there's no, like, it's not wrong or, like, bad to want that. I just, I, I see all the things, and I agree. Yeah. I think it's what I'm trying to say.

Laura Bruner: I had to work through some stuff. Yeah. And I, I feel like I, I have, and I always will be, but I'm proud of her for, like, [00:22:00] still, like, missing that. I mean, there's definitely a part of me that's, like, missing it. You know, weld up inside, which is like, Mom, I miss my morning nature hike. I'm like, that's my girl, but also like now you get morning circle time and I will get to you.

Laura Bruner: And it's like, they get outside time, of course, but they're not, you know, it's in a neighborhood. So they're not like out in the trees and whatnot. So just like letting go of my control stuff.

Jess Gaertner: Yeah. And how cool, like, would it be as y'all get old, as she gets older? Like what if you're, you know, what if she goes to regular school like one day and what if like you y'all get a morning hike together as she like before school, you know, like as she gets older, it's like, Hey, let's go hike real quick or let's go on a walk real quick before, you know, the school routine starts.

Jess Gaertner: Like I just, I imagine those types of scenarios where it's like, I don't know. It just morphs into something different where you preserve some of those things that are important to you, but in a different way.

Laura Bruner: And then, like you said, built, we built that foundation. So it'll be easy to get there. And that is my plan is to like, right now I'll be at an [00:23:00] afterschool, like scoop her up and just, I mean, five minutes to the national park, right?

Laura Bruner: I can just take her there. And that was my goal as we started school. But then with Rusty gone, it's just, and a lack of childcare, it's been complicated. So, but we're making it work and, and When we do have help, like one of the mom's helpers or nannies come, I just, they go to the park and like, go be out.

Laura Bruner: Like, instead of them coming to the house and me leaving, I'm like, I'm going to stay home. I'm going to work from my space,

Jess Gaertner: go out in it. And we're just,

Laura Bruner: I'm getting away more walks then because our, so our morning ritual is I'm up, you guys, I'm, there's some mornings and I've been up at 20, 30. Oh my word. On purpose?

Laura Bruner: I know. No, I just wake up and I'm like, I've been going to bed. So I like. Getting the girls down, you know, by 7 45 and I'm just going to sleep with Indy because I usually come out and like hang out with Rusty for a little bit. He's not here. And so I'm just crushing. And so I'm going to bed before 8. I'm waking up right around 4.

Laura Bruner: But sometimes that's like, there's only been once that's been 3 [00:24:00] 30 and I was laying there. I'm like, I am wide awake. I have, and this was in the first few nights or mornings when I was in, like, a bit of an adrenaline, like, you know, transition mode. I feel like I am settling in. My, my, my, the adrenaline's coming back.

Laura Bruner: They are, the body's helped a ton. I've been doing, like, one of the pre roll CBD. little like, I want to say a joint, but it's just a pre roll, which it's a joint. I don't know. Anyways, in the morning, and that's like just helping me like calm into my body. And I'm, I'm really, and then like the Wish Garden sleep tincture, like stress relief, all of that has really helped in any case.

Laura Bruner: So now it's like, you know, I woke up this morning at four and I'm getting up and then getting a solid couple of work hours in, in the morning. And then I feel, I feel good. Like the girls get up, I start the pans. I usually end these first. And I'll change her and like snuggle her in bed. And then we come out, I open all the blinds and Evie comes out all after.

Laura Bruner: And, and what I've noticed for sure is that now that Evie has three to four hours away from her sister every day, she has so much space for her. So like [00:25:00] every single morning, knock on wood, there's at least like an hour where they're just looking at books together. And like, Indy is communicating in ways she hasn't to this point.

Laura Bruner: She's going through some sort of leap and they are, it's so sweet to witness them. And so everyone kind of wakes up, I start breakfast. We make breakfast, and then they eat breakfast, Harry Potter's on, on the, on Sonos, the, the audio book, and we're just kind of all hanging in the kitchen, and I'm cleaning up as, you know, whatever, and then they finish eating, clean up, usually Evie takes longer, she sits and listens to Harry for longer.

Laura Bruner: And and then I will get a workout in and it's in the living room and they've both just they've adjusted and so now they know that I'm going to work out and Indy will oftentimes kind of be in my space but she to this point has just like let me do my thing. It's usually like maybe 15 minutes and then I will like I've even had they've I've had space.

Laura Bruner: It's like such a beautiful free play kind of morning. I've had space to take showers and like get dressed for the day. And so it's new for me because usually I'm like going to the gym and then straight to the [00:26:00] coffee shop and working. But like, I feel like I've gotten so much done by the time I'm taking Evie to school that I can really just take some deep breaths.

Laura Bruner: I took a little bit to get there, but so then it's like shower, I make my, like, protein coffee, sip that, usually like I'll sit and read them a book or two, and then we walk, and I bring the stroller. But Indy walks, they like hold hands and walk, walk Indy to school. And then afterwards I put Indy in a stroller and we like, we'll walk for like 15 or 20 minutes.

Laura Bruner: Just cruising the neighborhood, I'll catch up on some boxers with my friends. And then there's a little playground right by our house, we'll stop there sometimes and she'll climb and slide. And I play with her there and then we come home. And then it's just like, then I have like an hour or so. So some of these days we've like, I've gone through like three different like cabinets in our house or closets that need to be just like purged.

Laura Bruner: So if, if. Space and time and her temperament allow, and she, it's fun for her because I'll pull a bunch of stuff out, and then I'll let her just like go through it and wreak havoc, [00:27:00] and while I maybe go take care of something, and then I'll come back, and then I'll just like, I get a trash bag and throw some stuff, or reorganize, leave them out a few mornings, just play with her.

Laura Bruner: Read books, whatever, we're getting that quality time together, and then I get her down for a nap, then I make myself some food, and then Evie's usually coming home, so that's kind of, and that's how it's been working so far, and come next week, she'll have an extra hour of school, and so I'll get, instead of just like, eat something, and then she's home, I'll get that hour to get a little bit done, but then when she gets home, she usually like, has a bunch of her lunch left, So I set up with Harry Potter and she eats her lunch.

Laura Bruner: Well, first I've been trying to just like sit with her. So take a half an hour, 15 to 30 minutes and just sit right when she gets home. They like go through her backpack, pull out any projects or like work she's done. I asked her questions if she feels like sharing. She does. If she doesn't, sometimes I'll be like, do you want me to ask this again at dinner?

Laura Bruner: And she'll say yes. And we'll just snuggle. Maybe I'll read her a little bit. We're reading Wildwood right now, which is a really fun chapter book series. It's like a sick chapter book, but she's loving that. So I'll read a little bit. And then set up with Harry and the rest [00:28:00] of her lunch. And then I'll get back and I'll try and get some more work done.

Laura Bruner: And then, yeah. And then the afternoon, usually at least a couple days a week, we'll have one of the sitters come over. That's been great or not. And that's also fine. You know, it's like I'm getting, I'm getting what I need to get done, done. And, and it's, it's working. And then, you know, we have most evenings for dinner.

Laura Bruner: I am put, they'll watch like an episode of like give him off the cookie or something so that I can. Make dinner because Evie doesn't need that but Indy is like it's just like clockwork. It's like while I'm making dinner It's how'd you how'd you how'd you it's like she just wants to be held and I think she's hungry I think she's ready And so it's like the moment I get into the kitchen she wants to be in and I think it'll only be another few months before she's really able to like be on her like Standing thing and like actually helping and participating more.

Laura Bruner: So right now she is She is just like, she just grabs things and throws them and thinks it's so funny and she, she doesn't always like, she'll listen if [00:29:00] I'm like, hey, don't do that or whatever, but sometimes by the evening when it's like, we're all hungry and I'm like, I just, I'm going to take this moment, you, you watch this show, which we use as a tool and it works and they're sitting together and I'll walk in there sometimes and Indy's like, has her thumb in her mouth and she's like rubbing her sister's hair and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Laura Bruner: So that's always like a matter of, you know, yeah. What, what, what, what is the need for all of us, the need, you know, how do I feed my children, but yeah, so that's where we're at the mornings. It's a really lovely morning routine right now, and we'll see how it works out when we meet this, this gal this afternoon, if maybe she can help out a couple mornings a week, but also like I'm really enjoying that.

Laura Bruner: So we'll see. I wouldn't need more than a couple mornings. I think that outside of that, I could really just maintain what I've been doing and, and enjoy it. So it would be nice to get back into the gym a couple mornings a week. Okay. Yeah, we'll see. So that's the latest. And, you know, Evie's, she's thriving as expected.

Laura Bruner: She's just, she's just a very, very special kid. I, [00:30:00] and I'm super biased and I understand that, but I also just like. It's fun to witness her in this environment and like, just the, you know, the confidence of, like, walk her in, give her a snuggle and a kiss, and she's just like, see, like, there's so much confidence there, and I really.

Laura Bruner: I'm grateful for that and the relationship that we've built and this basis that we have is like core foundation of our relationship where she knows like, okay, I'm off to school. We'll see us see this afternoon and there's no like hesitation and I, that makes me proud as well. So that is where we're at.

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Laura Bruner: Trust me, it's good.

Jess Gaertner: I love town. I love, I just have to say, to say, [00:32:00] I am so proud of you for being like, I have just watched you evolve and, and none of this is negative. It's just, you know, it's growth and, and change. But like, I've watched you evolve from your like, like need for structure, which we all need.

Jess Gaertner: I mean, like, come on, let's be honest. But like your ability to flex and just like kind of roll with some of those changes, like I see, I see it and I continue to see it become easier for you. I mean, it's not easy by any means, but like. easier. And I, I just want to say that, like, that is huge. That's a huge growth point.

Jess Gaertner: So thank you. You're doing great. Friends.

Laura Bruner: It's nice to hear from from you because I feel it, you know, but it's nice to know that it's not just in my head that you see it. There's always room for growth, of course, but I do think I've grown and the summer's been really good for me and having a second kid and I was talking to my friend Kelsey like I can hear her now she's up but Indy's here to teach me some very specific lessons about myself because there is a lot of [00:33:00] reflection of me in her.

Laura Bruner: And so that's been pretty powerful too. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. All right. Well, she's hollering, so I'm going to grab her, but I want to hear more about school for you. How are the kids doing? Yeah. What are your mornings like?

Jess Gaertner: Lay it on me. Okay. So let's see. School is going well. I feel like, you know, Bear's 10.

Jess Gaertner: He's in fifth grade and he loves school. So he, I mean, he was, he's the kid who's like, he doesn't, he wants summer to be over cause he's like ready to get back to his friends. However, I will say that this is the first year where I feel like he's like the other day he came home and he was just like, he's like, I don't think I'm funny.

Jess Gaertner: And I was like, well, this is the conversation with Tim directly, but we were like, what? And he's like, yeah, I just have like, like all my friends, like they are, there's So essentially what, what's happening is he's funny, he's just developing like a more sophisticated sense of humor, whereas his like fifth grade [00:34:00] friends, it's like a lot, I mean, don't get me wrong.

Jess Gaertner: He's homeboy loves a good fart joke and like likes to make like, you know, fart noises with his armpits and stuff. But like he's transitioning more to where like that stuff is becoming like less funny and more annoying and where he's like, he likes puns and like more complicated humor. And he's like, I just think my friends are like, sometimes it's just annoying.

Jess Gaertner: And we're like, well, bye, you're just. You're maturing. And so I feel like it's just interesting to watch his transition. I'm seeing there's a lot more, I don't want to say moodiness, but like a lot more like he's always been my like sunny, happy go lucky kid. And that is still true, but there's a lot more complicated emotions emerging as he matures.

Jess Gaertner: Um, fifth grade. I mean, that's huge. He'll be in technically middle school next year, which is like just just bananas [00:35:00] because I remember middle school and I remember all the complicated things that are happening with your body and your brain and your friendships and, you know, school like itself. And so we're seeing that that emerge and it's just Trying to, to walk him through that gracefully and lovingly is, it's been kind of a wild ride already.

Jess Gaertner: And so that's kind of, he's doing well. He's doing really, really well. Just it's just, it's like, you know, even last night he's like talking to Tim, I, I, Tim kind of gave me the recap because every once in a while we'll get called back in at night, like after we put him to bed. There's just more conversations that need to be had, like our kids will process things and they'll call us in and then we'll chit chat, but he was talking to him about like crushes on some ladies in his class, multiple crushes on different ladies, and I'm just like, it's just complicated.

Jess Gaertner: It's getting more complicated relationally.

Laura Bruner: [00:36:00] Very different seasons, you and I. Very, very different seasons. But not

Jess Gaertner: that far apart, which is wild to me. I know, and it's, it's wild how, it's just wild how, how it feels, how quickly it morphs. I mean, obviously it's been, like, you know, Evie's six, six, right? Or she just turned seven.

Jess Gaertner: No, she's six. She's a year younger than

Laura Bruner: Kimmy. Yeah, she turned six

Jess Gaertner: in June. Processing out loud here, but four years. I mean, like, it's not that long. Four year difference, but You know, so it's just that that whole part has been a little bit wild. Cammie, you know, Cammie was very cautious initially with school.

Jess Gaertner: She was the kiddo who would still cry at drop off, like, initially when she was like three and four, and just very, yeah, cautious, I think, is the best word to describe it. But she has now really, like, she is comf girlfriend is, like, very comfortable at school, very comfortable with. [00:37:00] You know, friendships and, and just the whole classroom dynamic.

Jess Gaertner: She is also, was also one of those kiddos. She doesn't like to be rushed at all. And so with

Laura Bruner: Evie's the same. I don't think we could do like regular public school because it starts so early. Yes. Like a nine o'clock start is where we can just cruise there. Like walk. Oh,

Jess Gaertner: absolutely. They share that for sure.

Jess Gaertner: It's like, it's like, and the more we try and like rush her. Or like, kind of like, come on, whatever it is, it's like the more she, she will be more likely to break down, resist, cry, be like, I'm not doing this. So it's like a fine dance. So kind of back to our mornings to kind of like circle around our mornings.

Jess Gaertner: So Tim has been getting up super early and working on a bunch of stuff, like professionally. And so he's been getting up like 4. 30, 5, that's early for us, and working, I'm sleeping until like around 5. 50 and I try and get up every morning and go work out or move my body or go for [00:38:00] a walk around like 5. 50, 6 o'clock.

Jess Gaertner: So I get about an hour of trying to get some movement in. Today I slept in just because I, on my cycle, I'm exhausted. The last two days working out was like, I'm feeling it in my body and my back. And so I tried to get a little bit more sleep today, but most mornings I'm up. I'm trying to move. And then seven, You know, I'll come home, I'll get my coffee, I'll sit with Tim for just a little bit, and then we'll wake up the kids at 7, and so it's like, we go in, open the blinds, we, I, you know, usually we'll like sing a little good morning song, rub their backs, and try and just like gently, gently coax my children out of their slumber, and then we kind of like let them take some time getting up, Bear is usually up, like, he's, he doesn't need really, He actually would probably prefer if we like wrestled him away, just like abruptly, but like he's up and then Cammy, she just takes time.

Jess Gaertner: She cannot be rushed again, like back to [00:39:00] the, that whole scenario, like, if we're just like, come on, Cammy, come on, like, let's go, let's get up, you know, if I was too chipper, like, approaching her in the morning. It can and it does set off just a whirlwind of pushback. And so we just kind of let her do her thing.

Jess Gaertner: It's been a lot of like conversation with her brother, who is always like, I want to get to school early, like, hurry, let's go. Like, he is like ready. He's like got his shoes on and she's like still waking up. And so initially he was always kind of like, Come on, Cami, let's get to school early. And she'd be like, I don't know.

Jess Gaertner: She would just freak out on him. More like there. She's different than you. She's not ready. You have to give her space. So a lot of conversation with like, just let us parent her because he wants to like, he's, you know, in that phase where he wants to be like, come on, Cammy, like, you need to do this. You got to do that.

Jess Gaertner: Like, he wants to parent her. And we always have to constantly remind her, remind him, we are the parents. [00:40:00] You're the kid. You get to just relax and take care of yourselves. And do what you want to do and we'll take care of your sister. Don't worry, we'll get everyone to spawn. So, a lot of letting Cammy just wake up and just like we don't make direct eye contact.

Jess Gaertner: That's so bad. We try not to make direct. eye contact with her. We try not to talk to her above a certain level of volume. I know it sounds, it's, it's, it's hilarious most mornings. It's not like,

Laura Bruner: I love it. It's like a, like a, like a tiger, like

Jess Gaertner: a tiger, a cougar. And it's like, You know, we're still doing our thing.

Jess Gaertner: We're not just like tiptoeing around, but it's mostly like our engagement with her, like we're like, sometimes I'm listening. We're listening to music in the morning. We're chit chatting and we're joking off, joking around and stuff. And she's kind of like observing from the sidelines. So it's not like we're just like totally catering to her needs, but it's more just how we're engaging with her.

Jess Gaertner: She's just kind of [00:41:00] like Watching and then when she's ready to like engage, she'll like step in. So that's kind of like our rhythm. Usually I am like making, making the bed, our bed, like kind of cleaning up a little bit and Tim is packing lunches or I'm helping him pack lunches and he is, he usually is like in charge of breakfast and we like pack their water bottles, pack their lunches, get their backpacks all situated.

Jess Gaertner: And then at eight or earlier, if Bear has his way, Tim is usually the one taking them to school because I am hanging back to either record or to get the, like, shoot day ready, which requires a lot of, like, set up and setting up the lights and getting everything, you know, turned on and situated and ingredients prepped and stuff, so um, And someday, so Tim takes them to school, drops them off, hugs and kisses, they go to school, have super fun days most of the time, and then our days are longer, so we pick them up around three, and so we'll usually have like a full shoot day, [00:42:00] and sometimes I'm, like, lately I've been working even past when they are, like, it's just, I don't want to get too much into it or else it'll be a whole nother episode, but like, This is just like a heavy, heavy season, like energetically and physically and all of it for me and so some days Tim's leaving to go get the kids and I'm like, I still I've got a I'm still shooting food like it's not like food is unpredictable.

Jess Gaertner: It's like, you know. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes, you know, you got to fuss with it. Sometimes you what you think is going to be a quick recipe is actually like not at all. And so Tim has the flexibility to kind of go scoop them up, you know, depending on the day, like Wednesdays, Kami does choir now, which is like, just, I mean, it's like, She loves it.

Jess Gaertner: Loves it. Loves it. Loves it. She's only been doing it for a couple weeks. So, for instance, on Wednesday, she'll, she'll stay after school. It starts right after school and it [00:43:00] goes till 4. 15. So she'll do choir and usually Tim and Bear will just kind of hang, hang out. They'll either go get the car washed or go kick the ball around somewhere close by or go run to the store or like, you know.

Jess Gaertner: Do some errands or whatever, then they'll go back and pick up Kami and bring her back, and then on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it's soccer for Bear, but they're able to come home, decompress, like, aren't we, I don't, like, I have stopped feeling, I have, like, zero guilt about, like, game, like, video games or a TV show right after school, because for us, What I learned our kids need is this just kind of like decompression transition time and for, for everyone, you know, for me from the workday, if I'm lucky, like we'll use that time just to kind of like, it's like a deep breath, they can turn their brains off, which they've been like, kind of utilizing all day, they've been peopling all day, they've been keeping their emotions together all day.

Jess Gaertner: And, you know, they just get to watch a show and decompress and [00:44:00] that's, that's fine. I'm like 100 percent zero guilt about it, about it. And so usually they get a little bit of screen time and then Bear has to, you know, we're like reminding him to like drink water, eat a snack because he's got soccer and it's like just it's crazy hot outside right now and just requires a lot physically from him.

Jess Gaertner: And so Tuesdays and Thursdays they go to soccer and Kami. And I will, like, I'll either be finishing up work, to be totally honest, which, you know, is not ideal for me, but has to get done right now. And she'll, you know, she's my kid who, she likes the show, but, like, she's the one who's like, I'm gonna turn this off now and go play.

Jess Gaertner: So she has a lot of, like, just, she doesn't need. The, the screen to decompress and so she'll either be playing around me while I'm working and we're kind of chit chatting or, you know, we'll be prepping food together, taking showers, kind of getting ready for the next day. She loves helping. With that

Laura Bruner: stuff.

Jess Gaertner: So she's always like, Can I help with dinner? Can I help pack lunches? Can I, you know, do [00:45:00] this? And so she's like, we just enjoy our little like home time together. She loves having time without her brother. She loves, they love each other. They, they absolutely adore each other, but they also like relish.

Jess Gaertner: alone time at the house. And so whenever either one of them gets it, they're, they're really thrilled and just tickled. So she likes baths as well. And so usually on those days where bears at soccer, she will draw herself a warm, lukewarm, she likes lukewarm baths and she will play And just

Laura Bruner: seeing and let me tell you about baths.

Laura Bruner: They are a saving grace for me in this season because the girls all do like bubbles and the girls will sit in there for like an hour and play together. Well, that's when I like clean the kitchen and see the floors. You like that. You think that's a sense. So I see you, Kami, and my girls are the same. They love baths and I am so grateful.

Laura Bruner: I

Jess Gaertner: know, it's so great. [00:46:00] I told Kami, I was like, you know, if you love baths so much, like, let me, like, I'll get you some like special bath bubbles and like, you know, we'll get, well, she likes a vibe. She told Tim the other day, we asked her like, what do you you grow up? You know, just ask your kids those questions sporadically.

Jess Gaertner: And she was like, I want, she didn't know the word for it, but basically she was like, I want to like decorate people's houses and like pick the pink colors and the like the art and I was like well that's a real job like that's like an interior designer and I was and I was telling her I have a friend who does that and she's like but I do I don't just want to design it like I want to come and like do it and I was like yeah you could do that so girl likes a vibe she's always loved creating a vibe and her baths are no different you There's music, there's lighting involved, there's like, it's just, it is, I love it so much.

Jess Gaertner: I love her. So, the Tuesdays and Thursdays, that's what that looks like. Mondays is usually, we're all home, except Kimmy's gonna be starting volleyball on Mondays in the evening [00:47:00] soon, which she's super stoked about. And yeah, that's kind of our week, Fridays we do, we like, you know, the Lord willing, we do family movie night and right now we're deep into our Harry Potter series, which we do September and October, every Friday.

Jess Gaertner: And so that's been just great, like, sacred family time, and Saturdays now have started with soccer games, and I realize this is beyond school, school rhythm, but it's kind of like our week, Bear had his first soccer game with his competitive team this past weekend, it was great, they, they kicked booty, he scored two goals.

Jess Gaertner: He played goalie most of the time and didn't get a lot of action, but then once he started playing the field, he got two goals and he's just a joy to watch. Like he's, he's not the most aggressive kid and that's something that we're working on, but he is very patient and he's very controlled, which you don't really see in a lot of like 10 year olds.

Jess Gaertner: And so while I want him to just be like, like getting in there, he's still, I mean, he manages to score a [00:48:00] lot with just being in the right place at the right time, which I know is just partially due to him being patient and like, like being able to see the field. So his games are super fun. Kimmy hates, um, watching soccer games.

Jess Gaertner: She does not like the sun or being outside or, or, or watching sports. So we're trying to figure that out because, like, I, we, Tim and I both want to be at the sporting events, so we're trying to see, you know, is there some, some, can she spend time with her grandmother on Saturday mornings, who also doesn't like to watch sporting events, and maybe work that out, but, and then Sundays, I still manage to be mostly our Sabbath days.

Jess Gaertner: Most of the time. And so that's just a good reset for all of us. And then it's back at it. You know, it's like, it's just a wild season. The kids are doing well with in terms of school. And right now, I, my hope is that they feel like things aren't really have haven't really changed much with them. But for Tim and [00:49:00] I, it is, it's yeah.

Jess Gaertner: We're just, we're stretched to the max and that's just the season we're in. So that was a little bit of school rhythms and a whole lot of, a little bit of catch up and we're doing it because we have to, there's no other alternative. Right now, ideally I would love a lot more if in a perfect world, Jess would have a lot more rest and downtime, but you know, wants and needs, wants and needs.

Jess Gaertner: I keep reminding myself that like. This is like you're doing it. I keep I have it on pep talk with myself constantly. I'm like you're doing this You just got this girl. You got this you show up you do what you can during the day You try and get some sleep you try and move your body Remind yourself to drink water, remind yourself to look your kids in the eyes when you get the time, and like, talk to them when you can.

Jess Gaertner: Hey there friends! Pausing this episode to share a bit about our wonderful friend Brianna White, a fantastic real estate agent based in Bend, Oregon. [00:50:00] She's also a wife, mama, and a member of this awesome Modern Mamas podcast community.

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Laura Bruner: I'm sure you will connect with her just like we have.

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Jess Gaertner: Now let's dive back into our episode.

Laura Bruner: We've definitely had seasons where we're like, like, you know, we're not about that. That hustle, but right now you kind of are about the hustle and there's different seasons and the [00:52:00] hustle now for work that you are so passionate about, it will pay off and it won't always be this pace.

Jess Gaertner: I know, I keep telling myself that, but what I get caught up on is I'm like, but my kids, my kids, like, I, like last night, I just truthfully had like kind of like a little minty bee, a little mental breakdown and cried in Tim's arms because I was like, well, I'm also in my cycle. So everything feels more intense.

Jess Gaertner: But, and I cry a lot more easily when I'm on my cycle. I get a lot more reactive. Like I don't have emotional patience or resilience. And so everything was just, I was frustrated. I was trying to go to the bathroom. Cammie's like screaming at me cause she, I told her something and she was like, I can't find it.

Jess Gaertner: I'm like, I just need to go to the bathroom. Like literally, can I just pee without someone like without noise? And so I came out and so I was frustrated with myself because. I snapped it bare because, like, it was just a complicated thing, [00:53:00] and so they went to go take some treats to the neighbors, and I just, like, looked at Tim, and I just started crying, and he just, you know, held me, and I'm just like, I don't like this pace.

Jess Gaertner: This like frenetic feeling is not ideal, but I just need it like but like it is what it is and you know, of course, I apologize to the kids and just try, you know, try and try and try to maintain open communication and mending those fences and they came back and they saw me upset and you know, it was kind of like I didn't want them to see me upset because I don't want them to feel like It's their fault.

Jess Gaertner: But at the same time, I was like, you know what? Because we were talking about the other day. I was like, I can't remember the last time they saw me cry. Like, you know, I, I feel like it's actually good for our kids to see us having emotions, you know, like, and I was like, it's not you. You didn't do anything wrong.

Jess Gaertner: I'm just [00:54:00] having a hard day, you know, and And they were both like, I think they were a little thrown off because yeah, I don't, I don't cry that often. I, I cry in ways that are like, oh, that puppy is cute or like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy, you know, but like, they don't see this more like rawness. And so everyone was like a little bit thrown off, but then at the end they were, you know, I could see them softening.

Jess Gaertner: I could see them like, look at me like, Oh, mom's having a hard day. Like what? Humanity. Humanity. And so it was just, it was, it was beautiful in the end. And I don't know where I'm going with all that, but to say, it's just a, it's a hard season. We're trying to do the best we can for our kids in terms of just providing stability and love for them as that foundation.

Jess Gaertner: You know, we're a family unit, like we're in this together, and we've, I feel that. I feel like we're in it together in a really positive way, and so, we're gonna do it. We're, [00:55:00] we're making it through. It's a season. It's not my favorite season. And they're

Laura Bruner: watching you build like a business, you know, grow this, do this thing that you're so passionate about.

Laura Bruner: Yeah. So it's not like. You know, it's cool that you are doing it from home because they're seeing it versus not that there's anything wrong with going to work, but it's just a different, a different take on this, on like the work life, quote unquote, balance that's out of balance right now because it's the season that it needs to be.

Laura Bruner: I'm not saying it's out of balance, like you're not showing up for your kids. It's just, you're not necessarily getting your wants met and they can see how deeply you care about your work, but they can also see how, how much more deeply you care about them. I think it's really cool, especially with the age that they're

Jess Gaertner: at.

Jess Gaertner: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's all, it's all going to be okay. And I, I know that in my bones, it's just like, I don't know. I keep feeling Lord, when is this going to be over? And again, it's like, I just feel like I'm learning a lot. I'm getting taught. I mean, test tested in really good ways, because again, I'll go back to it.

Jess Gaertner: Like, it's really easy for me to be like, Hey, joyful, blessed. [00:56:00] You know, life is good. I work hard. I get rewarded when things are, like, really going well, but I think the true test for, for my joy and my abilities is, like, you know, when, when push comes to shove, when things are hard, can you, can you show up?

Jess Gaertner: And I'm, I'm trying, I'm trying my best, so. We're, we're doing it.

Laura Bruner: And I hope you know that you are doing a really good job.

Jess Gaertner: Thanks. Really good. Really, really good. I hope so. It's just a lot of things have been shoved off my, like forcefully shoved off my plate. And you know, that's also good. There's like a pruning season where it's like, maybe that thing wasn't as important, as important as I thought it was, you know?

Jess Gaertner: And so there's, it's a, it's a good pruning season for kind of finding out what's important. So I'm gonna hold tight to that and let some things go. Drop some balls that aren't glass, and hopefully they'll bounce back up when the time and [00:57:00] the space is right. All right. That's it. I love it. Beautiful. We said it was going to be short, but surprise, it's not.

Laura Bruner: I feel like that was a good segue back into trying for topicals because there was some topical focus. Yeah, totally. And as always, we want to hear from you all. So what do you love? Tell us. What do you want to talk about? Tell us. How are you doing? Tell us. Join us on Patreon. That's all. Yes.

Jess Gaertner: All right, friends.

Jess Gaertner: Thanks for tuning in. Ciao. See you next week. All right. Bye. Thanks for listening to our podcast.

Jess Gaertner: See you next time. Bye.[00:58:00]