MMP Ep 329: Embracing The Slowdown

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Hi friends! Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to [00:01:00] Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.

I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough. And mindful movement. And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a Level 1 CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a Masters in Kinesiology, and Mama to Bear and Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners, and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Hello, lovely friends. Hi. Hello. It's Laura and Jess. My dog is click clacking and I'm super annoyed with her right now, but it is one of the best.

Oh, man. How old are your dogs? Like, like 10 and 11, And they, they're so, they're so funny. Like when I start talking and there's nobody around, I think they get uncomfortable. If I'm like [00:02:00]recording an Instagram story or whatever it is, like they always get up from the bed and click clack. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, don't want to hear your click clacking right now.

They're probably like, who is she talking to? Yeah. Where is this person? Yeah. She just like walked into the hallway towards the bedroom where everyone's sleeping and her click clacky can also wake up a baby. Get over here you, you silly dog. Anyways, hi, happy, happy Thursday to you, happy Wednesday to those of you listening on the day this airs.

Happy day, happy day, happy day, whatever day of the week it is. And full transparency, I was telling Jess just before we started recording, I didn't feel like recording. But I'm here and it's amazing, honestly, like, as soon as you say, alright, let's do this and hit record, It's like, I just feel that's like levity.

It's like your brain, your brain is, has been fully trained that like, this is a good thing. Like once we get started, it's a good thing. Yeah. I just need to close out of, I'm like, I was kind of like head down in my creating, continuing to work on my croissant resource. [00:03:00] And sometimes it's just, I just probably need to give myself more transition time.

Yeah, it's hard to task switch sometimes, for sure. But I have a candle burning, and Rusty is home, and I'm sure we'll dive more into that. And everyone's sleeping, knock on wood. I'm looking at a stack of Festive and Fermented and Towered at Sisterhood books. And some, a stack of brand new scrapers. I've got a workshop in two days, and I also, That had me up last night.

Yeah, up like just your brain spinning about it? Or like were you actually working on it? Oh, just laying in bed. My, we had a sitter set up, Rusty Works had a sitter set up and she, something came up and so I'm like trying to piece together some childcare or picturing myself bringing Indy but this one is like on this beautiful organic farm and she's gonna just take off.

Yeah. So, I'm trying to sort that out of like sending texts to friends and and then my to do list and Getting all the things together. [00:04:00] It's just, it's, it's a, it's a, it feels like a lot done, but I'm also really excited because now it's been a while since I've done one. So they should be lovely. And I'm just glad Rusty's home.

Is he, cause we recorded a Patreon and he was supposed to go for two weeks again. So did that shift as of right now? Well, yeah. So if you are not Patreon family, then so Rusty was gone for 16 days and I shared that on a last episode. He got home on a Friday evening, but he texted me from the travel home that morning and was like, Hey, well, first of all, I'm so, you know, day 16 of like the morning routine and getting the girls out the door to walk you to school, which I've actually grown to love that ritual the past two days.

I haven't done it. He's been on his quote unquote weekend on Wednesday, Thursday. So I've gone and done my like, Jim time work time thing. And I'm actually missing our morning walk to school. But in any case, all I [00:05:00] see is bad news. And I was like, Oh, shit. I thought he was like not coming home or I don't know.

And he's like, I will be home for the two days and then they're sending me out again for another 16. And like my whole my heart just like sunk into my stomach. You know, it's like the whole series of emotion when all of this stuff, it's like again, lessons, deep lessons for me. And I can be a very controlling person and surrender.

To the fact that I can't control summers. I can't plan, nothing. And I had like made some fun plans. And anyway, so we just were like, okay, let's make the most of this weekend. And then we also reached out to his mom and made plans for her to come out to help me this time. And I took a bunch of stuff off my calendar.

I called you, or boxed you, like All teary, like I have to, we need to rearrange the calendar, you know, and, but I had a couple of days and I got things scheduled and sorted and I was like, okay, I can do this and it's good for us. Like we need this money. He makes good money when he's gone for those long stretches.[00:06:00]

That's what you sign up for with this work. Like the base salary is not incredible, but. It's all that like actual fighting fires and being gone and the dispatches. So then like we had an incredible weekend. We got a date on Saturday. We had a fan like lovely family day at Finn River on Sunday, just like savored every moment with him.

Evie got a little bit of alone time with them. I got some much needed alone time with them. And then, you know, we're like waiting. Typically it's like by the evening before he gets the call on his workflow phone as far as like what time to be at the station. Usually it's like 5 a. m. Nothing comes, nothing comes.

And he's like, yeah, I'm not, not going, at least not tomorrow. So I'm like, okay. You know, and so it's like this kind of relief, but also like, man, I had, I had invested a lot of emotional and physical time and energy into, excuse me for one second, Callie, can you please go to your bed, go lay down, go on, lay down, good girl, and so anyways, so [00:07:00] doesn't go and then he goes to work on that Monday to the station, his usual hours, and he gets home that evening, like, so what's the deal, he's like, well, I guess they decided to take, they were going to send him up to Canada.

There's a bunch of fires up in like British Columbia, but I guess they decided to take a, I guess, I think you said an ad hoc engine. So basically they had pulled like one person from each of the local engines and sent up that team and they wanted to keep him, he's an engine lead, so they wanted to keep him back to kind of help with the shuffle or whatever.

I'm not entirely sure on all the logistics. So at this point, his engines. What they call on the board. So he could be called at any moment. But at this point, I'm also just like my birthday's next weekend where he has one personal that he hasn't used yet. It's easy to lose it. And so he's going to take that just right now.

We're just planning on him being around for my birthday. He's going to take that. I think we're going to do one last camping night with some friends. And he's been here like he had yesterday and today. As weekend days. So he was able to do the walk [00:08:00] the girls to school thing and I'm able to get a bunch of really quality work in and my to do list is like gradually just getting shorter and shorter and I am feeling a pretty big like release and relief.

So it's good. But it's also it's just it's like my emotions feel like a freaking roller coaster. Isn't it such a wild lesson? It's like, Oh my goodness. You know, it's a wild lesson in that And I know like you, you do have to shift, you have to make like rearrange plans and, but it's like the amount of emotional and like you said, investment that you put towards things that like are out of your control.

Like I do this all the time with like various random things like either worry, I'm not saying that you do this, but like I worry about like what's going to happen or how are we going to do this and like. You know, sometimes like that thing never happens. And then I get so like, I get frustrated with myself because I'm like, Jess, like think of all the time that you spent was just like spinning about this.[00:09:00]

And ultimately, there was nothing you could do, and, and it didn't even happen. Or even if it did, even if it did happen, it was like, there's still nothing you could have done to change the outcome, you know? Totally. All that spinning didn't impact it at all. Right. Right. It only impacted you, right? For however long you were spent, you were in that spiral, you know?

But, you know, I like, I worked hard to, Get things sorted. I was I had a you caught me. I caught you in my most intense spiraling moment of that whole scenario, but I was actually pretty proud of how I Traversed that scenario old Laura would have had a much harder time flexing So, you know, I probably, old Laura probably would have been like, nope, don't go.

So, you know, there's like, it's cool to see. And I am also learning like what I could do differently next summer. Of course, there's plenty. Yeah. Just all in stride. All in stride. Yeah. I love [00:10:00] that word that you chose, like how I traverse that because it indicates that like, it's up and down. It's like, you know, you're like.

Traversing something is a lot different than like walking it right like you're kind of like clinging to do to the rocks for dear life and then sometimes it's easy and then sometimes you're going around things like I don't know that image of like traversing. It's just so accurate for life. Very much how it feels.

You know. A mono white water river rafting trip. And you're crushing it. Crush the waters. Yeah, sometimes. And we've had some really lovely family time. I've slowed way down. My word for, cause every, many of you know, or if you're new, maybe you don't, but We don't do like a yearly intention as a family or a yearly, what are they called?

Resolution. Resolution. See, we clearly don't do them. We do a quarterly at the season shift. So fall equinox just was here last weekend and so mine is just really like embracing a slowdown is my [00:11:00] intention, like truly slowing down. And so like reading my book more and just yesterday I just went and laid, Evie was doing some art and he was like, hold you.

And I was like, okay. And I had some stuff. I just closed my computer and I went and just sat in Evie's bedroom and just laid on the bed and looked at books with Evie and, and it was just, I can feel my nervous system just like tingle almost when I take the intentional time to do that, it's like I have this space to just be and it's not a waste of time.

It's more important than any to do list item and it just, it's felt really good just to slow down, sit more, just be more, play games, you know, especially coming. And I think this will be probably my know, disability, Every fall intention because the summers are just going to be full and I love that and it's very seasonally appropriate, you know, you go like summers, long days, sun's out so much to do.

We're outside a ton and we still get outside, but not to the same extent in the fall and just really embracing the [00:12:00] slowdown that comes with the shorter days. And, I mean, two months ago, what, it's 625 right now, the sun would have been out for like hours. I was thinking about four and there was like, the sun was coming up and now it's like still very dark.

So, it's just interesting and I love living in a place where the seasons are so obvious. The seasonal shifts are like so clear because it really helps me. To lean into those chefs. Yeah, I love that. That's the latest. It's getting hot in here, so take a Wait, it's not that kind of podcast. But, it is getting hot in here and I need to fill you in on one of my latest obsessions from Paleo Valley.

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paleovalley. com forward slash modern mamas and get 15 percent off your order. No code needed. Trust me, your body will thank you. I wish that I, I feel like I'm a little bit flip flop seasonally. I feel like summer was slow, like very slow out of necessity. And then [00:14:00] just like the ramping up of like work and stuff.

And now it's like, I'm interested to see how I'm going to handle it because yeah, there's like a natural wanting to like kind of turn inward. As new, for me at least, like, as fall approaches and I want to clear my schedule and I want to, like, make sure we have all this, like, really great, like, these holiday traditions and family times and I still have every intention of incorporating that.

In my life, but at the same time, there's this really big juxtaposition of like work ramp up because with food photography, it's like the Q4 and you know, even beauty counter like Q4. This is like the Super Bowl. It's like. All the bloggers are like, we're gonna do and like, you know, it's like a lot. This is when they're making their a lot of their money.

And like, therefore, like I'm getting asked to do a lot, which is needed and necessary. And I, I have to do it and I want to do it. That's a [00:15:00] key thing I want to say, like, I want to do it, even though it's scary and I'm like, Oh my God, can I do this? Like, I do want to, but like, it's just going to be a weird, like dichotomy of wanting to also internally slow down, like have all the like cozy time and slow, slow stuff, like slow mornings and all of that.

So I'm, I'm intrigued. My friend, Alexis. Shout out. She is on my beauty counter team, but she's also just become a really good friend. She's been on the podcast too. She is, I forget her actual designation, but like, she's taken this coaching course recently. And so a lot of times she'll like, so like I'm her mentor technically, but sometimes we're on Voxer, we're just talking about like the hard stuff.

And so she's been using some of her techniques. With me when I'm like, I don't feel like I can do this, like I can't do beauty counter, for example, holiday the same way that I've always done because I don't have like I don't have time. And so a lot of the questions that she asked me are like. [00:16:00] Around like my expectations of what I think needs to happen and how sometimes, and this is for everyone, like sometimes our expectations can actually be like very limiting beliefs about like what we can actually do, because for me, it's like, I think if I can't do it the way I've always done it, if I can't get dressed up in an elf costume and do my holiday unboxing and like, you know, have all this content planned, then Like I can't do it, you know, and her question is like, you can still do it.

Do you have 10 minutes to do an unboxing? I'm like, yes, I do. I like the really it's like a series of questions just to get down to the core. Like, you know, you can still do things. You can still do many of the things that you want to do on your plate. They just might look different and that's okay. I don't know where this came from, but like, Oh, I love it.

I just, I, I'm going to hold fast to like a lot of that stuff going into this season. [00:17:00] Like I can still do holiday traditions with my kids. I can still have slow mornings. Can I have a slow morning every morning? Probably not. You know, like, can I, you know, do every single thing on our holiday tradition wishlist?

Probably not. But like. It can still be magical, and it can still, like, I can still do, do the things that are important, if that makes sense. And maybe those things that are important will feel that much more special because they aren't, like, every single morning, you know? They're fewer and further between, and so you embrace them a little bit more.

Yeah. Totally. Dig it. Yeah. Ugh. Anyways, so is your mother in law still coming? She is. So she had originally planned on coming at the end of October into, like, early November, which would have been lovely because it was going to be, like, over Halloween, which is Evie's absolute favorite. I think we would and my mother in law is really just great at that kind of thing.

Amen. Resty season ends October 31st, we believe, and so she would have had like part of the time helpful with him working his, you know, whole days or [00:18:00] whatever, and then a little bit of his downtime to spend with us as well. And who knows, we could have gotten away, we could get away for our anniversary in that time too with her here, so.

But then she audibled so lovely of her, right, like she audibled as soon as we texted her, she was like, yeah. And so she shifted everything to come. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, she was gonna arrive Monday, this coming Monday, and so I, we let her know that things have shifted or whatever, and so she just basically said, I'll get back to you.

She's gonna kind of see which will work better and either stick with what she currently has, which would be great, or push back to the end of October, which would also be great. So yeah, in all that to say, yes, she's still coming, it's just a matter of when. And then our hope is to get out to Wyoming to visit her for Thanksgiving.

Mm. Mm hmm. I'm just waiting on some. Many of you might remember this, the remodel saga, um, it's still, it's still not done. She is a saint. Her patients astound me, um, but she got, she got a really cool travel trailer. And so her coming, she drives cause she's got two bigger dogs and she likes to bring them.

And so I think she, in some ways I'm like, maybe you should come out this [00:19:00] coming week just cause who knows how weather will shift, but yeah. And then some of our best friends here have a little bit of space, um, more, more space than we do and they have plugin capability. So. When she comes, and it's Rusty's best friend, so basically like her son in many ways.

And so they, when she comes out, she's able to park there. And so it's like she has her own space, which is great. So, and there's a lot of flexibility there. It's not like she booked an Airbnb or flights or anything. So, of course, there's a lot of logistics that go into travel, but she does have a little bit more flexibility in that capacity.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. So, and she's also been in her travel trailer while the remodel's wrapping, and we're just really hoping that it's done in time because what a fun way to break in this really beautiful house that's been, you know, like a brainchild for so many, oh my gosh, like a year, years now. It'll be two years and on January 1st since she moved out there, so.

Oh my gosh. That's bananas! And what a saga. Yeah. And if you're wondering why I keep saying the word saga, if you're relatively new, it's like... Rusty and I, we were going to move our family out to Wyoming and live with her [00:20:00] in that space and like separate living areas. And it was this whole big plan that also included us like starting like a sourdough English muffin little cafe shop.

And so much has changed as we've, as this remodel has taken a long time and we've fallen more deeply in love with where we live. And it's so funny because people that I talk to are like, Why were you ever gonna leave? Like this, it's just, this is so fitting for us. It's a family, this place where we live and that people come visit and even people I don't know personally who just come to explore this part of the country and they're like, Oh my gosh, and it is, there's something very special about it.

So anyways, all that to say, we do want to go out there and visit her for Thanksgiving. So, and then if it's not done, our hope is to fly her here to spend Thanksgiving with us. She's just an incredible human and the girls love her so much. So is she still like Englander? She, she is. I think she's really putting down some, some roots there.

So I, you know, I don't want to speak for her. I'm not sure what her plan is, but I know that she will [00:21:00] do. She's definitely, I love it. She's like, she's similar to us in that if something's not working, it's like, let's shift it. You know? Yeah. So I'm curious to see where she ends up selfishly. I hope it's maybe closer to us, but we'll see.

That's awesome. Will she be here in time for the sourdough workshop if she does come? No, no, because she's got a wedding, I think, on the 29th and the workshop's on the 30th. So she would leave, I think, on the 30th, which would put her here on the 2nd. And so she, her plans would be on the 2nd through the 12th.

If he had left when we thought he was going to leave, he was going to get back on the 10th, which would have given her two days with him as well. But who knows? He could go, he could, it's like fall all of a sudden, it really was like with the equinox, it was like snap. It's here, where last year, I mean, we have, we have had some really beautiful.

Like fall days and mostly that's what it's been. It's like cold in the morning. I actually put the heater on and then by nine or 10 I'm opening the windows and it's [00:22:00] lovely, but it's not getting much over 60 degrees, you know, it's, it's like sunny, but cold, cool. And I love that. Whereas last summer or last fall, it was like.

summer until almost like Halloween. Um, and, but we had an insanely beautiful spring this year. We had like heat waves in June where, where the usually like the, the summer before it was like summer. So we didn't even have anything resembling summer until after summer solstice to like early July. And this year it was like 85 degrees on 4th of July, which, so it's like our summer just started earlier this year.

And I think it's wrapping earlier. And the year before it was opposite, which it's, it's all good as long as we get a good lengthy one. Like I'm feeling, I think because I'm craving the slowdown and also because I'm craving Rusty being around more, the transition to fall is pretty sweet for me. You're welcoming it.

Yeah, I'm like, bring it on. Let's slow down. And Evie is like, when's it going to be Christmas? I want snow. Slow down, kid. Evie, first things first. [00:23:00] Yeah. How do you know if Rusty, so like, you said his season ends on the 31st, but like, what if there's still fires? Like, how does that work? Like, he signed a contract through the 31st for the season, so that's the earliest it could end.

Okay, but they could extend it. Okay, got it. Yeah. So we'll see how that ends up shaking out. That's so interesting. I'm so glad that he's loving it. And it's so fulfilling because it seems just very challenging to anticipate literally anything. Anything all the time. And it's good for us. Yes, yes, yes. And he really likes the work.

And I told him, like, I'm so grateful. Because I couldn't do that. I couldn't be in like the beck and call and like spend You know, and then when they're out there and there are spires or and then there's like they put it out and then they're just waiting there on like they're prepared to go but they stay out there until there's like downtime and they're just kind of like driving around and so it's work that is great for him wouldn't [00:24:00] be good for me and and you know we've I've said it before and we're like you know Falling into and finding our, I think, just kind of where we're supposed to be, our roles, especially in this season, and that feels really good.

Yeah. So, that's the latest there. Oh, and I did not, I think I've shared here, like, there was, I was expecting a permanent offer from CrossFit and that kind of thing, and it's, things have, you know, once again, worked out how they are meant to, I believe, and for our season and our situation where it's, I'm remaining a contractor.

I did get an increase in pay, which is a beautiful thing and I feel like well earned if I'm being totally honest. Um, and then I am shifting gears a little bit, so it's going to be longer contracts and remaining at the hours I've been at, which I look back at the hours when I was at the weeks when I was pushing that like 30 hour mark and it wasn't sustainable, especially given in the summer and with everything else I've got going on.

I don't want to let go of the things, the things I'm doing through [00:25:00] Radical Roots and Sourdough Sisterhood and really want to be more present with the girls and, and knowing that Rusty is, this is going to become more of a career for him and there are opportunities in the off season and, and things that are shaking out, it's like, I really do believe that we put all the feelers out Psst!

We welcomed what you talked about this I think in our last episode where you're like you're gonna say yes to everything and see what comes and I think things are settling now things are as we fall into you know fall things are settling in how they are supposed to in this season so I'm happy with that it feels right I'm able to pass off some of the tasks that and open up more space in my CrossFit work for like the creative content you And that kind of thing.

Yeah. And, and bigger picture stuff. And so that's really fun versus more of like the manual things. And so, um, yeah, I'm feeling excited about where that's going to go. And also at peace and it's helped me with boundaries and compartmentalizing versus this like kind of head down manifest permanent work, [00:26:00] et cetera, et cetera.

It's like, no, this is actually just what I need. So there's still civility there. I've got another six month contract and then yeah. Can re evaluate then, but some deep breaths for the next six months, you know, that actually feels really, really necessary and, uh, very good, so. That's amazing. So happy for you.

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You'll thank me later. I mean, and we explored a lot of that way more in depth in our Patreon. I know this last week. episode was kind of like a sneak peek into Patreon. So like, if you want, I mean, we [00:28:00] kind of, I mean, we really, like Laura gave you the, like the bones of it, but we, we dove into like the real raw emotion of a lot of these transitions and things over there.

So again, like if you want a little bit more, I mean, I would say we're pretty, pretty raw and open here every week, but most of the time, those episodes are just like real time, no filter. Like, just processing. So join us over there if you want, if you want some more of that shameless, shameless plug for Patreon.

Give it to leave for BAM. Yes. I'm actually leaving this afternoon. So. Oh, geez. Yeah. I am. The older I get, the more I'm like, I used to be this person. So granted, I started packing a couple, started packing a couple of days ago, but that was like, kind of like just taking stock because I'm literally going from like 90 plus.

Pretty much like a hundred degrees still here to [00:29:00] like low 30, high 50 in Canada. So there's a little bit more like, I got to pull out my winter clothes that I'm probably not going to use here in Texas until like January, you know, taking a shot for like two weeks. Yeah. For a total of two weeks. When you get an ice storm.

So I had to pull all that out and kind of like go through it and just given our schedule, it's like I needed to start early, but it's like I'm still not actually packed and I'm relieving Tim's taking me to the airport this afternoon, which I feel like is a good thing for me. Talk about evolution of like personality and just like being able to flex like old Jess would have been like this, like spiraling, like, what are you doing?

Like you need to have everything. Packed and figured out and honestly, I've been leaning on a lot of the my friends who are going on the trip as well because you know, it's been a while since I've flown internationally and I'm like, do I have my passport? I literally pulled it out yesterday. I was like, okay, I thought I had it, but like had not even [00:30:00] checked leading up to this to make sure everything was like good.

And, like, haven't made a plan, like, I don't even really know, like, what I'm supposed to do, like, if, what, if anything, I'm supposed to do to prep to fly internationally. And a couple of my good friends are, like, they made itinerary, like, they're on it. They maybe have a little bit more space for that right now.

They've made and, like, shared itineraries, and, like, what the weather's gonna be like, and... You know what activities are like offered or possible and like, I'm just shamelessly was like, can I just tag along on anything that you're doing because I just honestly don't have the brain space to think past, like the next 24 hours.

So like today I'm like, okay, the trip. Cool. Because yesterday I had. It was like a full day of recipe shoots, there's three recipes, which is a whole day for me. It takes me all day to do those. And like edited the photos because I wanted to get them to my clients before I left and like kind of close out the month and, [00:31:00] you know, sending like just all the backend stuff that people don't think about.

They think it's like, Oh, you just shoot and photograph the recipes. It's like, no, now I've got to like import them and name them. Edit them and deliver them and like, make sure they're all documented. And so I did all that yesterday. And now my brain is like, okay, we're going to Canada tomorrow or today.

It's today. Yes. It's today. You're leaving today. So I'm really, I'm actually getting excited. I was a little nervous because leading up to the trip, I was like, I don't know, like, I'm not ready for this. And I wasn't like actually ready to go, but now that I feel like my. Brain space is cleared a little bit.

I'm just excited. I was also worried that I was getting sick a little bit. Turns out this is so, this is going to be hilarious. I, so. We had a shoot day on Monday. Was that Monday? Anyways, a shoot day at the beginning of the week. And we like to play music. Tim has been helping me. We like to play music. And we had played the Hamilton soundtrack.

And I like, I [00:32:00] literally know like pretty much every word to every song. And so the whole time we were like shooting, I was singing like belting out just like private concert for the dogs and Tim. And like, on Tuesday, I woke up like, oh, my throat hurts, like, I'm so, I don't feel good, like, this is not good, so I'm like, loading up on like, PaleoValue, again, shameless plug, PaleoValue vitamin C and the organ complex, and I'm downing electrolytes, and I'm like, there's no way I'm getting sick, like, I am not gonna miss this trip.

And, you know, it could have been the extra supplements, but at the same time, Tim was like, you realize you sang all day yesterday, and that was like literally the only, like, symptom that I have. He was like, you probably are just having sore throat from screaming, essentially. I was like, I think you're right.

I really think you're right. Because that's what's happening too, like for Bears soccer games every weekend on Saturday, I will, [00:33:00] I'm not a quiet sidelines mom. I'm not like disrespectful or like just over the top, but like. I like to like yell for him, like, you know, supportive and stuff for the team and almost every Sunday I'll wake up and be like, Oh, this is the day I'm finally getting sick.

I'm getting sick. Like my throat's feeling weird. And it's like, I just literally think that my vocal cords because before this, it's like, aside from talking on the podcast. You know, I spend my days at home with Tim, like, you know, it's not a lot of like talking that's required of me. And so I think my vocal cords are just getting stretched.

Anyways, I feel great today. But I still am like, stocking up on like all the preventative things, taking everything with me because it's like, you know, travel and it's, it's been stressful. So I know that my body is like primed to get sick. If I'm going to get sick, like it would be now and so just, you know, trying to take care of myself, but back back to the original line of thought going to [00:34:00] bath.

I'm so excited. It's a literal bucket list. I like we're doing a couple hikes as a group and then I think we might do some hikes. Like just in our free time with this group of friends that I'm going with, and then there's like gondola rides and there's actually a chance, an opportunity to potentially see the Northern Lights, which is like also, oh my gosh, like just a bucket list thing, but I hear, and I don't know much about them, but I hear that it's like, it's, it's just, There's no like really planning if you'll see them or not, like you can go and show up and they may or may not like be visible, but so we might try and do that.

I'm just, we're sitting at like the most breathtaking place I've ever seen. I get my own room. Like, I just. I'm ready. I'm so ready. And like the last little bits of work that I need to do that I can do on my computer, I'm going to try and get done like on flights and stuff so that I can just like truly [00:35:00]unwind.

It's been a long time since I have been able to do that. And, you know, beauty countertrips. I loved I love it. The friends and relationships I've made through beauty counter, oftentimes some of these trips are like not really my speed because it's a lot of like the getting dressed and like really cute outfits, which is amazing.

And I love seeing everyone's outfits and all that. But like this one is, it's very outdoorsy and very like flannel sweaters, you know, hiking boots, like workout attire, like all of the stuff that they sent over while confusing because the best. Yeah, because it's like, yeah. Appre ski chic or rodeo chic and I'm like, dude, it just, can you just say like we can wear jeans and a flannel if we want to like, I'm not going to be rodeo chic.

I'm from Texas. We don't do rodeo chic, but you eye roll. Yeah. But like literally that's like, you know, people are like going [00:36:00] to be wearing like, you know, denim and jeans and I'm like, I'm just, I'm so happy that sound like this is actually close that I wear in my real life. And this is great. So just really looking forward to that.

I'll be coming back on Monday. It'll be a long, like, I know the travel potentially take a lot out of me, but like, I'm just really stoked. Really, really stoked. And then we were talking on Patreon. I will come back from Banff and then have like a pretty packed shoot schedule, like the three days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then I'm going to a women's retreat.

A faith based women's retreat that for people who kind of are like interested in that, like there's a series of books called Wild at Heart and Captivating, which are like faith based kind of like devotional books. And Tim went to the Wild at Heart retreat and it was like life changing for him. And so, There's a captivating one, like a virtual one here about a [00:37:00] couple hours away, and so I'm going to go on Thursday for the weekend to do that, and then hopefully I will be home and not going anywhere.

I mean, I say that like all this travel is amazing and great, but like I feel like I just have been going. We had a Girl Scout camping trip last weekend, which was precious and adorable. It was only, it was less than 24 hours. Really, when we, when I like add it all up, when we got there and when we left, but it was, it was, it was so good.

It was really, really good. Kami had a blast. She loves Girl Scouts. This, this kid, she loves Girl Scouts. She, she is like looking forward to it. We do it every other week. And so she's really, really into it. So we're, You know, we're sticking with that and she just started, I'm just like really probably like free doing like free word association here in my brain, like just rambling on, but she started volleyball, which she had her second practice [00:38:00] on Monday and she got put in a little team and they got little shirts and she's probably the youngest, if one of the youngest, if not the youngest kid in this like little league.

And so it was so cute, like they, they were learning the game, like they were actually. On the court, the coach was kind of like, okay, now we hit it over and then you rotate. And like, when a ball comes over, this is what you say is bringing back all these memories. Cause I played volleyball and loved it. But Cammy, I can't, she would keep looking, look over at me and like make googly eyes.

And she was like dancing and spinning around on the court while like action is actually happening. I kept having to be like. Watch the court, like she would look over and stick her tongue out and I would like kind of give her the like, look at the court, like little hand motion. So she's still, you know, in that picking butterflies or picking the flowers phase, watching butterflies of like sports action, but she loves it [00:39:00] and she wants to go back and that's what I'm going to keep just like kind of.

Supporting and it was fun. Bear had to come with me because Tim had a dinner meeting and we got some quality time. He, I allowed him to play his video game because it was like literally two hours of just volleyball, but we also got to like chit chat and spend some time together. And let's see. I mean, those are, that's, I mean, that's a lot, but that's kind of like the main things going on in our world.

A back update. I shared this on the Patreon as well, but. I, I don't think I've shared the update update since because we recorded and then I was on my way to a chiropractic appointment and so my back has just really been while I feel like my core has gotten so much stronger over the course of since February and since chiropractic care and so many like benefits to the chiropractic care that I'm receiving, I still feel like my back is very fragile.[00:40:00]

In the sense that like, it's very up and down, like if I try and do even just a smidge too much or a weight when I maybe I should do a body weight thing or, you know, I just am not like 100 percent focused on like really like core stability, then my back is unhappy, like super unhappy and so I had an episode probably a week and a half, two weeks ago, Where I did something in the gym, everything was fine while I was doing it, the next day my back was super unhappy, and then my big toe on my left foot went numb.

And it's not painful or anything like that, but it's just like, the bottom of my toe and the like, inside, like, portion of my big toe. And started to really like spiral about that because I'm like, Oh my gosh, now I have this new symptom and like, what is happening? Like, my body is falling apart. And in the same time, I'm like, I, I keep getting, [00:41:00] I probably should just go to the doctor.

But like, the thing with everything that I'm experiencing is like, it's just up and down. I had these like, I didn't tell you about this, but. Like my lymph nodes were like super painful and my like armpits like both sides and so I was like, you know I'm just don't don't Google your weird neurological and lymphatic systems when you're like Emotionally fragile, but I was like, oh I'm like, this is it.

This is it And anyways, I went to the chiropractor on Monday and we had like a really good long talk I got treated by one of their new chiropractors And I still have the numbness and tingling in my foot, but I will say it is slightly improved, which is a good sign. And so they seem to think that a lot of it is really just having to do with like just positional stuff that I have to really be mindful of.

And so at the end of the day, I think I was like [00:42:00] wanting them to be like, okay, we'll send you out somewhere else. This is the next logical step. And I just, I want there to be like an easy, not an easy answer, but like, You have this. Here's how to fix it. You'll get surgery and then you'll feel better. And there just isn't.

Especially for someone like me who's like, surgery is literally like the last resort, or like medications would be like the last resort for me in this instance. And so a lot of it was just like, you have instability due to some mechanical issues, some, you know, which you might've already had, some of which probably are pregnancy and like postpartum related, but like, if you want to just be as functional as possible, you still want to move if you still, if you want to avoid like major surgery, like it's just going to be a lot of work.

So that's right. It's going to be consistent. Daily mindfulness around my back and what I'm doing with it. And [00:43:00] it's, it's good. It's good in that. That's hard with the line of work you're in. Oh god, it's so hard. There's probably some weird positions with photography. Yes. But, you know, it's forced me, like, I've had this tripod sitting in my house for months.

And I'm like, I don't need a tripod. Like, I like to be freehand, and I like to be able to get into these weird positions. You know, all of that. But finally, I was like, I need the tripod. I need to figure out how to use it and I need to use it as much as possible because it literally just takes the weight of the camera off of you and especially for like overhead shots where it's like I'm like on a ladder and I'm like, you know, it's just not good.

And so I started using it. So it's like there are ways that I can care for myself. I was just being stubborn and or lazy, you know, whatever. Yeah. And not wanting to explore them, and now I have, and now I'm using it and it's life changing. It's like, I told Tim the other day, I'm like, oh my god, I love this tripod so much.

I'm like, it's just the best thing. [00:44:00] And part of it was asking Tim for help too, because I was like, I don't have the mental capacity to figure out how to use this tripod. Can you help me? And so he was like, yeah, he looked it up on YouTube. He was like, this is what you do, like here, I'll set it up for you.

I'm going to teach you how to use it. And so he did. And I was like, it's just, you know, being able to ask for help is a lesson I'm learning. Being able to admit when I need to explore different things to take care of myself, for instance, the, the tripod or whatever, like figuring that out is huge and then to like physical activity aspect of this period of my life that I'm in, this is a huge lesson, something I struggled with my whole life is like, if I don't work out hard for an hour every day, you know, it's, it's consistently Grown from that, like being the standard to, okay, consistently work out hard every other day, consistently work [00:45:00] out hard three times a week with CrossFit, and now it's like I can, you know, consistently work out moderately in the gym for, you know, four days a week, and now it's like, you know what, I know movement is important, but I have to consider just like, I'm moving for just like quality of life now, And of course, it's like, I want to look and feel good in my clothes and all of that stuff like that's still there, but at the same time, it's like my priorities have shifted, whereas before it was like, you know, I want to look good and be strong and like, feel good as the top and make quality of life is like, it's there, but maybe it's like second or third and the like list of priorities and now it's like, it's like priority number one.

Like I need to be able to move in my job with my kids, with my partner, like I need, like I want that and I want that for the rest of my life for as long as possible. And so it's a really big mental shift and it's [00:46:00] honestly just made being consistent a lot easier. So like, I've really been wanting to like, when my alarm goes off at 5 50.

Every morning, I've just been like, I don't want to go. I want to just snooze and sleep and you know, all of that. And sometimes I do, but most of the time. The little conversation going on inside of my head is like, Jess, you're gonna, you need to do this for yourself. Like, you're gonna feel better. If you don't go, like, what's gonna happen?

Like, you're doing this for your back, for your, like, mobility. Like, if you can't work, if you can't play with your kids, then, like, what are you gonna do? And so, like, literally, those are the words that I say to myself in my brain, of course, in the morning. And I go and it's fine and I adjust like I'm following this workout program and sometimes it's like, holy cow, this is hard.

This looks really hard. And so I just don't do the hard parts or I, you know, scale back significantly or do less [00:47:00] rounds or I do no weight or I do it You know, in the past, Jess would have been like, What programming are you doing? So right now I'm doing the BirthFit, like, B community. Um, and I did like a call for...

Like suggestions. So I'm still actively taking suggestions because I still feel like I don't know. I'm still feeling like I don't know if it's exactly the right fit for where I am right now. Um, and also in terms of like scaling. So I got a lot of good suggestions. So if anyone else you Laura included, if you have suggestions like I Hey there, friends!

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Now, let's dive back into our episode. Do you have any thoughts? I hear a baby over there. Yeah, I'm not alone anymore. Yeah, I mean, I can share some things, but I feel like you also have so much experience in this kind of thing. How'd you, how'd you, how'd you? Well, I am happy to hear the like the mental shifts around it and just the prioritizing like feeling good and the why is I always come back to [00:50:00] why when it comes like the way that we eat and like all of it.

It's like there has to be joy too. You know, I recently just talked on social about food and how Yes, it serves us the macronutrients, micronutrients, all that stuff matters, balancing that matters, it does, and I'm not going to say eat whatever you want all the time because that's, that's not life, you know, but also our food should serve us, I, in my opinion, I know for me personally.

It should make you want to dance in the kitchen. Maybe not every single meal all the time, but for me, like, there's such an important part of the experience. And I think movement is similar. Like, having a why that matters, you know? And for you, it's like showing up to your kids and showing up in your work, and I imagine you feel better when you're done.

Yeah. At the end of the workout, you know? 100%. Yeah. So, it's just kind of like, I don't know. And different seasons call for different things. Like, I am really, really, really enjoying. fitness right now. I feel strong. I have fun. But when Rusty's gone for two weeks, it turns into like barefoot dumbbells in my living room.

And that's [00:51:00] also great. It's not going to be the gym every time. And just like learning to flex. And for me, like we've talked about this a lot recently, flexing is so important. And it's not a skill that I've had in the past, and it's one that I've developed a lot over this. It is hot. Yeah, that's hot. A lot over the season.

So yeah, anyways, don't mind me over here multitasking, but this is just the season of life that we're in. It's totally fine. And to kind of wrap that, that whole, that like chat up, I really been enjoying Noelle, Tar, Coconuts and Kettlebells, her content, because I think we're like the same age, her and I, or like around that same age, like kind of like, 40s like going into or already into like the 40s and she also I think has like and she shared this openly like on her Instagram like back pain and like a history of like disordered eating and all these things like we really share a lot of that like.

Story and like history and a lot of our content is just like, it speaks [00:52:00] to me. So if anyone else is in the same boat, like, and you're looking for just like, maybe some like camaraderie and some like, you know, helpful. Cause all of her stuff is like super helpful tips to like work through a lot of it.

She's, she's putting out great content. Like, I don't know if it's like transition from like what she has like always put out, but. It's definitely like there's a shift. I'm also really excited because our friend Liz, uh, Liz Wolf, I, I feel like she said she was alluding to something new coming, but I think it might have to do with like the age, that age range too, because it's a whole new frontier, y'all like, I don't know.

I mean, I know age is nothing but a number, but like, I feel like it's one of those milestone transitions for a woman from like your 30s to your 40s and I don't know it probably is just like all mental. Some of it's like societal, some of it's, and some of it's physical, I mean, it's like, there's that, not that you're near perimenopause, but like, hormones shift, things shift, I'm [00:53:00] about to be 36, and so I'm not there yet, I will say, but, I, I'm on that second half of 30 situation, so, and I have a lot of friends who are near 40 or in their early 40s, I was just talking to my good friend Jill about this, and she's like, she's 41, I think, she's like, yeah, I'm starting, like, I'm starting to actually seal Hormonal, especially shifts, you know?

Oh, yeah. And so I love it. And it's it's been fun to watch all that kind of unfold with our our community that we start a lot of us like you and I, I mean, we're in this like paleo world since like 2013 and now watching things shift and these Podcasters and that, you know, I used to just listen to and now they become good friends.

Actually, I'm talking in a while about coming on. Oh, my gosh. It would be so great. Magnesium and stuff. But also, I think that would be a really cool conversation to dive into. Oh, my gosh. Please do have her on. She is. Yeah. I mean, I think she could speak to a lot of things that our community would really love to hear.

So, yeah. We have the coolest friends. We really do. We are girls have the same birthday. Isn't that fun? Oh, that's awesome. Which one? Like, [00:54:00] what? Our big girls. Oh, your big girls. Stella and, yeah. Same exact age. Nice. It's so fun. That's so cool. And we got to go visit them and, um, it was really cool to see the girls together when they were just two.

Just almost two. That's cool. Yeah. Anyways, all right. Well, it sounds like you are going over there. I probably need to finish packing and figure out how I'm going to get into Canada. Banff mode ff be awesome. Yeah. So anyways, thanks for tuning in guys. We will see y'all next week. Okay. Can't, I can't wait to hear about the trip.

Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. I'll, I'll be sure to save all my processing for our recording. Perfect. See you later. Bye bye.

Thanks for listening to our podcast. See you next time. Bye.[00:55:00]