MMP Ep 344: Deserts, Glaciers, and Motherhood with Abbi Hearne
MMP Ep 344: Deserts, Glaciers, and Motherhood with Abbi Hearne
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Laura Bruner: friends! Welcome to the Modern Mamas
podcast.
We are two modern
mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health,
open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.
I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough. [00:01:00] And mindful
movement. And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a level one CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a master's in kinesiology and Mama to Bear and Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.
Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here.
Hi everyone. Laura here for another episode of the Modern Mamas podcast.
I feel like a little out of practice. We took a break over the holiday and I haven't interviewed anyone in a while, but I'm really excited to come back with a bang with a guest that I know I approached you a while back because I followed your journey and just really feel like you have such a cool story and perspective and community to share here in this space.
So I welcome today, Abby Hearn. A professional photographer, mother, and adventurer living in Moab, Utah, most of the year, and Alaska in the summer months. She and her [00:02:00] husband, Callen, work together photographing adventure elopements in Utah and Alaska, and can usually be found ice climbing on glaciers, hiking in the desert.
And spending time with their two year old daughter. You guys can probably tell why I've been attracted to Abby's work and presence, especially on social media. Abby has been sharing her adventures and life on Instagram for over ten years, and has created a unique, uplifting community through her vulnerability and storytelling.
Once again, very aligned with our whole perspective and approach here. And you can find Abby on Instagram at, at Abby Hearn and her elopement photography account, The Hearns. She also has a subscription based private Instagram community that opens monthly to new members. And their website is thehearns.
com, and that's H E A R N E S, in case you are actively typing into your phone right now as you listen or into your computer. So Abby, thank you so much for coming on. I think your audience can probably already tell why I follow along with your journey and why this is such a good fit for [00:03:00] Especially with the vulnerability and the community building and then or the way you get outside and then through all of that.
Also, you're a mama, which is lovely. So I've watched your journey since before she was born, and I'm just so grateful to have you here now to share a little bit about your life, your perspective, your community, your work, and your motherhood journey. So thank you for being here. I'm so excited to be here.
Abbi Hearne: Thank you. That was. Such a nice intro.
Laura Bruner: Well, your bio speaks for itself. So that, that makes it easy. So before we kick off into more of the real raw nitty gritty, all that life story, I love to kick off with an icebreaker. So as we record, it's January. We're just kicking off 2024. And I'm curious to know, Whether you are an intention setter, a resolution setter, and if so, have you set some sort of 2024 intention resolution goal?
Abbi Hearne: So I feel like my personality is that I would be an intention setter, but for some reason I'm [00:04:00] just not. I've never been able to do it. I always try to. I always am like, I want to sit down and come up with goals for the year, but I never can. I feel like at the end of my life, big, I do this recap blog post at the end of each year to share like favorite photos that we took throughout the year.
So at the end of that blog post, I do some goals, but they're really general and I actually wrote them out quite a few years ago and then I just barely edit them each year. So I feel like maybe I just have more like my root intentions and I like to read through those at the end of every year and think about how I can do them better in the next year.
I like that.
Laura Bruner: It's consistency, which I think every study ever has shown that it's just consistency over time. So if you can just kind of dial in those same goals. I think that's huge. I'm definitely not a resolution person. I feel almost like suffocated. My husband and I used to sit down and write like categorized like lists of goals for the year.
And we look back and it's like we never necessarily sometimes, but we didn't often hit those very [00:05:00] specific goals. Yeah. And that's because life is just so ever changing, and so out of our control. So I try to set an intention of like, what can I control? And usually it's just one word, but I feel like Encompass is kind of my energy for the year.
Which this year is ease. The word ease just kept coming to me, so.
Abbi Hearne: Oh, nice. I think I have heard of people doing the one word and I think that could be helpful for me because part of it is I'm really not like I'm just not at all capable of peer pressure and it's like a fault and a positive. It means that I just cannot be peer pressured into something, but it also means I can't peer pressure myself and anything.
I love that. So if I like set goals, I have no support. Need to meet them. I don't really care. I don't have any like negative feeling about myself if I don't so I don't know There's definitely like pros and cons to the way that I am. But yeah, I
Laura Bruner: Appreciate that. I think you and I are probably similar. I know there's some tests I forget the names of all of them but you can kind of be I guess you're categorized as a rebel [00:06:00] and I feel like i'm a questioner and a rebel and I think that that probably is somewhere in in there as well this idea of like i'm similar and it's almost like I don't know if this applies to you too, but where if If someone starts to put pressure on me to do something, I instinctively kind of want to do the opposite.
Totally.
Abbi Hearne: I'm like, yeah, I just kind of want to be like, well, I don't need to do that. Yeah. Yeah. And it's weird because so I, the only personality test and I'm super familiar with is the Enneagram and I really love it. And I know I'm an Enneagram breed, but they're like big goal setters. Like everybody is like, Oh, you're a three, so you have goals.
You achieve all this stuff. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't know, it's just. I feel like I'm very, like, self driven, but only if I want the thing that I'm going for. And my past self setting goals has never helped me get there, so. I like
Laura Bruner: that. I imagine, like, three wing four with the creative nature of the work that you do.
But I would honestly, I'm not supposed to pinpoint anyone, and I feel like it too, if you winged too, that might be more, [00:07:00] our, my podcast co host is like an Enneagram coach or whatever. So we know a lot about this. I'm a seven, a seven wing eight.
Abbi Hearne: And so we can talk about that for this whole podcast. Yeah, I know.
I
Laura Bruner: love it so much. And it's for so long. I think it's the wing eight and probably the seven where I was like, and the rebel, I'm like, I'm not taking a test. No one's putting me in a box. And then I finally took it and I was like, Oh, yeah, this
Abbi Hearne: makes so much sense. Totally. My husband is a seven and he's the exact same way.
Like for the longest time, he was like, I'm not going to be nailed down to one personality type. And then we had some time where I was like, this would really help me for you to learn this. Like, I just really think it'd be helpful for our communication. And so he read the book and then now he tells all of his friends to tune it, like all of the friends that are against it.
He's like, you have to do this. It will help your relationship so much. And. It really had helped us a ton because being a three again the next time, then it's not the easiest combination, but yeah, it's tricky. Yeah, it's definitely fun. I, I love Enneagram.
Laura Bruner: It's me [00:08:00] too. My husband's a one. And the cool thing was when we were living in a van, like when a one is in a good place, they go towards a seven.
And so we were like, there was times in the van and the adventure where we're very aligned and like just in this flow mode. But then there's times when it was kind of the opposite where it was hard for him to be in that thing and that environment and whatnot. So anyways, I just, but similarly, so good for our communication and giving each other grace.
Thanks. better understanding the workings and motivations of everything. So I have to have you come back on and talk Enneagram with Jess. I'm sure she'd love that. Before, everyone knows your numbers. A lot of our listeners have a pretty good grasp of Enneagram at this point, because we talk about it frequently, but let's get to know everything else.
So before we dive into like more specific questions, I'd love it if you could just kind of give us an overview of like your story from your mouth of, you know, start wherever you want, but how you got into The work that you do photography, but then also so specifically elopements and then also [00:09:00] even more specifically like adventure elopements and the, you know, focusing more on the outdoors and that kind of thing, just what brought you to that work.
Abbi Hearne: Yeah, so I feel like similar to most of the amazing things in our life, it happened very organically and it was never this like huge goal of ours when we started, but basically I grew up in Texas. I had the very normal suburban life. It was amazing. I love my upbringing. I'm so thankful for my parents, the school that I went to, the community I was in, all of those things.
I went to college because that's what you have to do when you grow up in Texas suburbs. And I had a great time there. My husband went to the same college, so we had a really good time. And then we got married really young. It was actually the semester before I graduated and I graduated a year early. So I was 20 and he was 22 when we got married, which was kind of extreme even for Texas, but it's like really extreme for all of the other places that we've been since we left [00:10:00] Texas.
But when we got married, we moved to Houston because he was drumming in a worship band there and we really loved it there. We loved the community at the church, but we hated living in Houston and we felt like there was just no adventure, like nothing that we could do that really fulfilled us. So we started doing these road trips out west.
The first one we did was to Colorado. We did a backpacking trip. And then on the tail end of this Colorado road trip, we actually, Callan had heard of this place called Moab and we were interested in rock climbing. We had just been like gym climbing for the most part. And he was like, let's go to Moab.
It's a rock climbing area. And I was like, okay, whatever. Like, I don't really understand what there is in Utah, but I guess we'll go. And we went and it truly was love at first sight. Like, I remember when we drove in. We took, I don't know if you're familiar with the area, but we went from Grand Junction and someone at the REI in Grand Junction was like, oh, you're going to Moab, take the 128, don't take the [00:11:00] 70.
So we like took the 128 and we drove through Castle Valley, saw the towers, it was super hot, it was like July, but it was so stunning and we were both just like, what is this place? It's so amazing. We explored it for a couple days and then we went home and that kind of started our feelings of getting home to Texas and immediately planning a trip to Moab and feeling like I just remember being so anxious if there wasn't a trip on the calendar for me to look forward to.
And at the same time, I said we got married right before my last semester. So my last semester was student teaching and I did an art degree and then I added educational and just because I thought I needed to get a job if I was going to go to college. And I realized that I hated teaching. So during that teaching semester, I was kind of experimenting with photography and I actually booked my first wedding.
And that wedding was two weeks after I graduated. So I recruited Callen to [00:12:00] second shoot with me because I didn't want to have to work with some other person. And we had so much fun. We shot this wedding. It was just like. It was good friends of ours, but it was like a normal Texas wedding, kind of big, at a venue, but we had so much fun with it, and we loved working together, and I felt like we took really good photos, and I was like, I think I could actually do this.
So, I had just graduated, and I kind of gave myself one year to try photography, and see if that would work for me. And then I was like, if it doesn't work in a year, I'll apply for a teaching job. So I really dove into it and that's where like the Enneagram 3 comes out. It's kind of funny. It's actually never tried hard in school.
I never cared about achieving at all until I found photography. And I feel like that was when I really found this kind of entrepreneurial pursuit inside of me and hit the ground running. And I built a pretty successful business over the course of a year, just shooting in Texas and mostly [00:13:00] booking through word of mouth.
We booked like every one of our friends weddings, which at the time was like a lot of people graduating college and getting married. And by the end of that year. We had been doing photography enough that I felt like it was a good income for me, and we had also taken quite a few trips out to Moab, and we had gone to Yosemite, and then the last big one we did.
Was we took three weeks off and we drove all the way to canada and back from houston and on that trip, we bought this little bitty camper that was like The size of a truck bed basically like it was just a full size bed with a shell on top and then storage under it And we bought that and it felt like such a huge upgrade from sleeping in a tent which is what we had previously been doing on our trips and By the time we got home, I remember on that trip, Moab was, again, our last stop before we had to, like, hightail it back to Houston, [00:14:00] and leaving Moab, we, it was so sweet, but we were driving away, and I was crying looking out the window, kind of trying to hide it from Callen, because, again, like, what was tying us to Houston was his job with the band, and I knew that he didn't want to leave that job, and I knew we loved our community there, we just really didn't know anything else.
And, And I looked over and I realized that he was also crying and I was just like, I don't, I don't want to live in Texas anymore and I don't think we have to send it. Yeah, it was just a really cool moment because we both, it was just one of those things that we were both so scared to even say out loud because it was like, I cannot overemphasize how outside of the norm this was for the community we came from.
Like we had our path laid out for us. We had our calling. We were very like into the church and the calling and the this is what we're meant to do. And that's what everyone in our life knew we were meant to do. So for us to say [00:15:00] like we don't want to do that anymore, but we don't really know what we want to do out here.
We just know we have to be out here was a really big deal. So we had the whole 18 hour drive back to talk through that and. Kind of work through our fears, but we were really just like I think we have to try like we're really young We don't have children. We don't have plans to have children anytime soon We don't have a lot of finances that we're dealing with like I think we've got to do this right now We're we're gonna spend the rest of our lives wondering if we you know, if we had how different could they be?
So by the time we got home what we had decided was we would do a three month sabbatical To try life on the road and within a week of deciding that we both were like, I think I finally said, like, dude, if we went three months on the road, there's no way we're going back to Houston. Right? And he was kind of like, yeah, you're right.
South California for us. [00:16:00] Yeah, exactly. It was just one of those things where we were like, we can't, like, we can't go back to this if we have that freedom. So before we ever left, we realized, like, this is it. We're not doing hispanical. We're not coming back. And so we sold, you know, all of our belongings, like the classic story, sold everything we had.
Moved into our trailer and stopped at each of our parents houses, mine in Austin and his in San Antonio for a couple days just before leaving. And thankfully, both of our parents were really supportive. I think they obviously thought it was insane and they were really nervous for us, but they also knew that it said us, that was the thing was like everyone we told.
It was kind of like, yeah, we, we knew that you would leave eventually. And we were like, Oh, why didn't you tell us? You know? So it was really sweet to have this like supportive send off, but it was also really hard. We were leaving our community. We knew almost no one out West and we didn't really know anything about living out West.
And it was [00:17:00] also, this was like mid 2016. So van life was certainly a thing, but it wasn't quite the way that it is now where you can like look up on YouTube and find all these answers to things. We really didn't have anyone that we were like basing this lifestyle off of or any idea what it was going to mean.
And I definitely had no idea how I was going to build a photography business out there. So it was really scary, but we went for it. And. Basically, we started our adventure photography business when we hit the road and we just started posting on Instagram, which it was a pretty small community, but I had had one photo shared by REI and that was like my first big boost and followers outside of our normal Texas.
Group of people. So I had started building a community there, just like personal posts, which they're all still back there. And that's one of my favorite things about Instagram is this whole story is told there, but yeah, we started posting that we were, you know, booking sessions in these places. We'd started with booking [00:18:00] kind of engagement sessions and then a few elopements trickled in or smaller weddings in these more wild places.
And then we had one elopement that was like just a couple and their friends. And after we shot that, I really, like, blogged it super intentionally, shared it really intentionally. And like I said, there wasn't really anyone doing this, so when you've Googled adventure wedding photographer, there were like two people that showed up at the top of Google, and then the rest was like, not even actual photographers.
So it was really easy for me to get to the top of Google for the search term. And that was like the biggest thing for us for the first few years. And 2017 was a huge booking year. We ended up shooting a ton. We drove like 65, 000 miles in a year. Yeah, it was a lot. And then it kind of just, I mean, it picked up and took off from there.
I think because 2017, we had done such a huge year. We essentially said yes to every gig we could possibly fit in our [00:19:00] schedule. And shot them and I blogged every single one and I posted every single day on our Instagram and just really worked on growing that brand and that community. And like I said, there was just not much competition for this.
It was a very unique thing at the time, so I think it kind of helped that it was, it was different for people to see. Really good wedding portraits in Yosemite that I've looked at something that had been shared on Instagram very much before. So it was all kind of new and fresh and just grew exponentially because of that.
And we had a few weddings go viral, and then it's just since then it's pretty much been this journey of kind of balancing the demand with what we actually want our lifestyle to be because 2017 and 2018 ended up being really busy and we realized that the whole point of this was for us to live in these places and explore them and have time to ourselves, so we started dialing it back [00:20:00] and Yeah, it's pretty much.
I mean, every year I just posted my recap and this is my eight annual like end of the year recap and it links to all the other ones. And it's really fun for me to go back and read my thoughts at the beginning of each of them because every year we learn something different. Every year we're doing something different.
And now we've really. Narrowed into Utah, specifically Moab and Alaska, and we do like occasional little road trips outside of those places, but mostly we're shooting in places that we're really familiar with, really intimately know and love and working with just a small handful of couples compared to like 2017 and 2018 per year.
So we can really pour into them. And we kind of plan the whole experience. So we're a lot more than just photographers. We help them. Know the place and know what to do and like give them basically the best day they could possibly imagine in Moab or Alaska or [00:21:00] wherever it is. And we absolutely love it.
It's a ton of work, but it's such a good job. And the fact that we can both do it and it allows so much time to ourselves and with our daughter. And it's like, we every year, we're just like, I can't believe we get to keep doing this. It's so great.
Laura Bruner: I feel like that's a sign that you, you've chosen the right work.
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Check it out. Again, that's paleovalley. com forward slash modern mamas, M O D E R N M A M A S. Enjoy. Well, I love it. What a story. Thank you for sharing. And then that brings us up to, you know, like you, you meet your husband, you make that huge leap, which I can, I'm like sitting here listening and nodding my head because we were in a very similar boat, sell all the things, make a decision, know that it's going to change the trajectory of our lives.
And then, you know, finding work and making all, all those [00:23:00] shifts. It just, it's so cool to hear the story and hear how things, from my perspective, as I'm listening, it's like things fell into place as they were meant to, because of the surrender that you were able to lean into and also experience together, which I think that's huge as being on the same page.
And then
all
that leads up to. You starting a family. And so I'm curious to know a few things are in that, like, what was that transition like for you guys in terms of the decision and, or, or maybe that's not how it happened, you know, whatever it is like that transition into parenthood. And then I'd say, you know, what is maybe one of the biggest surprises and that the biggest shifts we'll start with the, one of the biggest surprises.
So let's start here. I'm throwing a million questions at you. That transition. So you have this life, you're adventuring, you're, you know, kind of dialing in the work that you do, which is. Quote, unquote, like not, not the norm. It's unique. It requires a lot of time outside, potentially in places and environments that might not be quote, unquote, kid friendly.
So that transition for [00:24:00] you, how did it come about? And then how has it shifted the work that you're doing, if at all?
Abbi Hearne: Yeah, I mean, so again, I feel like it was somewhat organic because we actually had started before we considered having a kid, we had decided that we wanted to narrow in on Utah and Alaska a lot more, and we realized part of that was just we were feeling a little burnt out by some of the other places we had shot.
And we also are just feeling like we knew those areas so intimately and we had done this job enough that we knew plans change. So we'd had times where like weather came in and it was really like last minute you had to change a bunch of things and it was so helpful to be shooting in Moab and know the area so well that if like The weather is bad in Canyonlands, and there's lightning potential, and it's dangerous to be out on a cliff.
I know of a hundred places we could go that aren't dangerous. And I feel like that's just so helpful to have that knowledge, and I think having that happen enough times in Moab and then in Alaska, we got to the point that we were [00:25:00] like, that would be really bad if this happened in a place we didn't know very well, and we didn't know these backup locations.
So we started really narrowing in those areas and then also for context, we had, we started driving up to Alaska every summer when we lived on the road. So we drove up, I think 2018 was the first summer we drove up and then we just loved it so much. We started working that into our schedule every year.
So we drove up 2018 through 2022 was our last time to drive up and At the end of 2022, we had our daughter and we ended up buying a cabin up there and that way this year, 2023 and moving forward, we have been able to fly up and stay in a house and not be on the road with our little girl. So way better and a lot better for our job.
So yeah, the two places we've kind of narrowed in, in Moab, we. What? Let's see. Okay, back up. So yeah, we started doing [00:26:00] that. We started narrowing in these places and then kind of simultaneously. I don't think we were doing that with a family in mind, but I think it kind of ended up working out that we also had been starting to consider more seriously whether or not we wanted Children.
And it was something that was always on our mind. I mean, especially coming from Texas, getting married really on Mhm. It's like always a question like where kids and Callan always wanted kids. I always thought I wanted kids until we left Texas and I started to reconsider everything in my life and be like, what was it that was handed to me versus what is it that I actually want?
And motherhood was one of those things where I was very much like, I've just always expected myself to have kids, but do I want this? So I went through a really good period of wondering that and talking about it with a lot of friends. I talked with friends that were, like, had chosen to be child free. I talked about it with friends that had children.
I talked about it with my mom [00:27:00] and I felt like it was a really good discussion and thankfully Callan was really open to either way. He never put pressure on me either direction, but I ended up a few things in my life kind of pushed me toward wanting to have a kid eventually. So my dad got really sick and he.
Battled brain cancer for four and a half years, and it was really supposed to be like best case scenario for a misdiagnosed. This was 18 months, so it was kind of this interesting time in my life where it was really devastating and really hard. But after the 18 months mark, it felt kind of miraculous to still have him there.
And so my family got really close through all of that. I bonded with my brothers and my parents in ways that I don't know if I would have without it. And In the end, like the last year of my dad's life was really heavy and really hard and anyone who has had someone I love die of cancer, you probably know that [00:28:00] the timeline is just so confusing and you have these like goodbye times and then they're not and it's just so hard, like it's so hard and grueling and exhausting, but part of that process kind of made me start considering what I wanted out of my end of life and like what I hoped my life would look like and every time I pictured it, I saw Being a mom and then my dad's dad died and when he died, it was, I lived a full, amazing life.
He was much older, but his whole funeral, the slideshow was just like him with his kids and with his grandkids and all of this joy and as his grandkid, I've felt the joy so closely because I remembered it and it really just, after that, I was like, I. Definitely want to be a mom. So once I had decided that my, I knew that my parents had really struggled with infertility.
So we were like, let's go for it. Like we [00:29:00] don't, I want to know if we're going to like have any struggles with this or not. Basically, incredibly. Thankfully we didn't, which I feel very lucky for that, especially knowing my parent's story and. Stories of so many of my friends. I just really glad that for us, Hyder came quite naturally and we were so excited, but so scared because it was like, you know, it was kind of like, Oh, let's see if this works.
And then I was like, Oh shit. So we were really excited, but definitely like. Wow, we've got a lot of things to figure out because we were having a child. So thankfully we had a house in Moab at that time. We had a solid job. Our job had been built to a point where I didn't have to work really hard at it every single day like I did in the first few years.
So I felt really good about that. But Alaska was a huge question mark because at that point we were still on the camper going up there. And then just in general, like babysitting and travel and all of that was like, I don't know how we're going to do this, but I know so many people do, [00:30:00] so we'll probably be okay.
So after Haider was born, we did find a really amazing babysitter in Moab. She's like the best person on the planet. We love her more than anything. Haider's obsessed with her. And that's who watches her for every gig we shoot in Moab. And then in Alaska, we found this really amazing friend that we met after we bought our house and our local community.
And she one time was like, if you ever need a babysitter, and I was like, actually, I really do. And I know that it's really hard to find babysitters here. So that friend has babysat her for us when we're shooting up there. And then. Our other locations really thankfully we've been able to plan around like trips for my mom or Callan's parents to come visit us.
And so we've had a few times that they've visited and babysat for us in the other locations. And then, other than that, I do all of our computer work, so everything that's not like [00:31:00] shooting in person, on site with couples, I'm doing, and Callen is the primary parent with Haider, which is a role that just fits him so well, they have such a fun time, they do all the great activities in Moab, and Go to the library and all kinds.
It's just so fun to see him be a parent and he does a really good job at it. So that's kind of how our how things have fallen into place. But it is certainly really stressful and hard because I think you know, our job is so like once it's booked, you're doing it. There's no sick day on a day that you have booked.
So there's definitely that level of like sort of panic. But I also think it's helpful that there's two of us because if you're not, you're not alone. Yeah. You know, something horrible were to happen. One of us can always go cover the gig and you know, one of us can be the titer so, so far it's worked out, but yeah, it's definitely a really, really interesting thing to take [00:32:00] on and it's changed you on your toes.
Yeah, it's changed our life a lot.
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And that kind of leads me to, cause you do live this unique lifestyle and you're outside a ton and you live in a place that just like, you know, Utah is one of the only states that we didn't. That we really, it was on our list that we really didn't get a chance to explore yet. It's coming, but.
Abbi Hearne: Oh my gosh.
You have to come visit us.
Laura Bruner: It's amazing. I can't wait. And my girls will just [00:34:00] love on her too. It's going to be the sweetest. I've got a two year old and a six and a half year old. So pretty special. So fun. Yeah. And so I, I, I'm imagining, obviously, I think at this point that she's outside a lot. She's exploring a lot with you guys.
She's in nature. She's adventuring. And I'm curious, a couple of different things. How has that been for you? And for her as she's grown up in this environment and then also do you what's been not that it matters I know we're both a little rebellious by nature So this wouldn't impact me, but I also almost find it amusing when people have opinions about The places that I've taken my kids and the things that we've done, for example, living in a van and spending so much time outside.
So both of those things, how has that been for you as a mom who has fully embraced and encouraged outside time for your daughter? And the most, I've seen some of the photos. I mean, the places that she's been, it's just blows my mind. And then on top of that, like, what is the general consensus with family or just people in your world when they see it and witness you doing that?
Abbi Hearne: So, I feel like the best part about it is that she just absolutely loves it. Like, I, I went into [00:35:00] motherhood very willing to adjust however we needed to for this child. Like, I know a lot of people are very much like, A kid goes with the life that you create them. And I do think that it's true. But I also, one of the things my dad always said, and I now as a parent, I admire him even more for this, but he always said the job as a parent is to discover who your child is and then nurture that.
And I felt that very strongly growing up. I've seen it. Very much in both of my brothers and in the life that we live and how different we are, but how much each of our individual traits were celebrated by our parents. So I feel like I've tried to do that, but it's been really fun and kind of like exciting to see that at least so far she freaking loves the life we do.
So yeah, I mean, it's just really great. I can. In Moab, we live on six acres and it's a really great piece of land with like [00:36:00] genuinely wild desert right outside the door and she navigates it so well she loves to find spider webs. She like, she became really stable and good at walking very quickly and I feel like a lot of that was that she was just never walking on like on or on even surfaces like from the start we were walking her on.
Rocks and pathways and, you know, and sand and just things that she had to kind of learn these skills pretty quickly and then I feel like it's just so fun to see how much she develops and then like what everyone says where she shows us a world that we didn't ever know before and she kind of helps us see things differently and I feel like every experience that we love when we get to bring her on it It's like we get to do it again for the first time.
As far as like, danger and that stuff goes, I mean, I think we're pretty mild and pretty safe with her overall. I'm sure some people would have different opinions. But honestly, yeah, right? Because I [00:37:00] feel like truly the most nervous I'm ever. With her is in cities, like in these places, yeah, like be places that people think is really safe.
And then they look at us and like, Oh, I can't believe you take your kid on a trail where there could be a rattlesnake. And I'm like, I can't believe you can take your eyes off your kid in a public park in a city because that freaks me out more than anything. So, I mean, it is all relative, but it just reminds me of like when we were living in the van, even pre having a kid and.
I like most nervous. We were woods nights that we were camping in a city, whereas if we were out on a forest road somewhere in the middle of nowhere, we were never scared. And I think that very true with our life with hider. It's like, yeah, there's inherent danger out in these places. But to me, the scariest thing is apparent is.
Other humans, like that's what scares me as the people that could hurt her, the people that could hurt me [00:38:00] like that kind of danger. So being really far away from that, I feel much safer. I will say in Alaska, I'm not comfortable yet hiding with her alone because I'm terrified of grizzly bears. Ah. So I don't know if I'll ever get there.
A lot of my friends that are moms, they're just don't do adventures alone, you know, but you know, like I would be comfortable going out with another mom and our kids. It's just like the one person. And a small child a lot scarier, so I think we evaluate risk really well, but yeah, it is very funny to me.
Some of the things that my friends will say, or even people that are like, Oh, my gosh, it's so amazing. You like take her on these hikes. And it's like the thing is with a kid, you're parenting them no matter what you're parenting them in your living room or you're parenting them out on a hike. And I personally think it's way easier to parent it.
outside. My husband and I have found this time and time again, that like the days where the weather is really bad and you have to stay indoors all day, [00:39:00] that's where we feel the most like crazy and like this is so difficult. Whereas when we go to take her on missions, it kind of makes the day just a lot more fun.
Time passes more, she gets more stimulation that's not directly from us having to do something the whole time. I just feel like getting out of the house is the easiest way to parent, so it's always shocking to me when people are like, I can't imagine, like, taking my kids somewhere. I'm like, you need to try it, because it made parenting so much easier.
100%.
Laura Bruner: I did a reel, like, two years ago, I think, and it was just about how, like, parenting is easier outside. There's like, there's no wall to bounce off of, there's space to just be, and I don't know, when I'm home, there's, I'm just like, I need to sweep, I need to organize, what is in this drawer? Like, there's so much laundry to fold.
Abbi Hearne: Totally. But everywhere else, I'm like, about so many other things. Yeah, I agree, that's such a good point, because I'm thinking about so many things when I'm at home, and then even like, kids are really [00:40:00] messy, and I don't like mess, like I like my house to be clean, and it doesn't matter if they're outside.
But if she spills her milk, it's not a big deal because we're out in the desert, you know, so yeah, I feel like a lot of the things that are more scary to me about having a kid, I realize we're mostly about like staying indoors with a kid, and it's pretty nice to be outdoors and have access to that, which I definitely feel very lucky that we have.
We do have so much access to safe outdoor land that I feel good about, and I definitely feel, feel sad for my friends that don't have that, you know, even if they want to do it, they're more nervous about their walking trails or. the parts that they go to or something like that. Man,
Laura Bruner: so cool. Okay. So for the, so for the most part, no, no weird looks.
People aren't giving you a hard time. And I feel like there's a big shift happening. You see like the, the thousand hours outside folks. And like, there's just a huge [00:41:00] push towards getting kids outside. And it's so good for them. For me, it's like more dangerous, honestly, for a kid to sit inside and like in a bubble in their house.
With screens and whatnot for their longevity and their like long term mental and physical health and it is to get them out in potentially dangerous places. But like you said, I trust my daughter's ability to like know their body in space when they're climbing and jumping than a stranger at a park or in a city.
Totally. I think we just need to let the kids learn that they, you know. And that, like you said, she can walk better earlier and it, my, my second was the same. It's very cool to see. So I love that. Yeah. Very cool. Okay. Well, you know, we talked a little bit about like biggest changes pre and post having your little one.
So let's talk motherhood and then we can kind of round out on with this topic. Just as you've come into motherhood, I've got three questions. As a family around the dinner table every night, we talk about like, rose, thorn, and bud. The rose is the biggest joy of [00:42:00] the day, you know, the, the thorn is the biggest challenge of the day.
And then the bud is what are you most looking forward to? So I'd say when we talk about the biggest challenge, I think with that often comes a lesson. So we can start there and then finish on with all the good. Maybe what's been the biggest challenge and or biggest lesson as you've navigated motherhood this far?
Abbi Hearne: That's such a good question. I think I mean, one of the biggest challenges that I've faced is the fear of just everything. Like I've tried to talk to some friends about this now and I realized that it's something it's one of the things that I can only talk to other moms about because I sound just crazy talking to people that aren't parents yet.
But the fact that Before having her, I couldn't have anticipated how easy it would be to ruin my life now that I do have her and in a sense, I just mean, like, I now can't imagine life without her and [00:43:00] I used to be a really rational person. I used to be able to, like, understand, like, there could be this, like, this could happen.
And this is. I'd be okay and this could happen and I'd be okay. And with this one, it's just like, I literally can't imagine anything happening to her. And when I think too much about it, I get like really upset and antsy and anxious. And I can't read stories about things happening to other little children.
I can't consume media about that. It's just like completely shifted this thing in my brain where I have to, in order to enjoy my life, I have to pretend as if nothing could happen. And it feels very weird to be that way. And I feel like, I guess just the mental battle of avoiding that fear and avoiding that line of thinking.
It's definitely a new challenge for me. And then on top of that, just the pressure of like, I'm raising a human now and I hope she's a good one. I hope she likes her life. I [00:44:00] hope she likes me, you know, like, it's just so hard and scary. And you know, all of your flaws more than anyone else. And your partner probably knows them more than anyone else outside of them.
So the idea of bringing all of that to the table to raise a small person and like already seeing things where I'll say something and then I'll be like, Oh my gosh, that's like damaging for me to say, or think that toward her. I need to remove, you know, it's just so. Scary. So I feel like that's been the biggest challenge for me is just like having these, these pressures and these fears and it's like, am I doing it right?
Am I screwing it up? And the truth is I'm probably both, you know, but yeah, I think that's like my biggest challenge is just the overthinking and the, the fear of like, do I need to go to therapy? Like what am I doing wrong here? Like what, I don't know. It's just this, like all of this stuff. That I'm like, what am I not going to do correctly?
Laura Bruner: Totally. I mean, we know, like, [00:45:00] I think our generation is a little bit more aware of, you know, they call it like the word is gone, but like basically the traumas that are passed down generational kind of like traumas and breaking cycles and that kind of thing. And so I think about like, like you said, great childhood.
I was loved, I was cared for, I was provided for, I was safe, but there are a lot of things that I feel like maybe I didn't get that I want to make sure that my daughters do on the more like emotional support kind of way and the freedom like you said and the expectations and shifting those, but I'm so hypercritical of myself sometimes and I think motherhood is so hard in that way.
You love someone so much. That you're so afraid to mess it up, but we're, but then it's like saying that we're going to, we're like, we're going to, you know, and so it's kind of the biggest tool I can give her is therapies. Awesome. I am going to mess up and I'm going to say, I'm sorry, and communicate to me when I'm doing something like that's not serving you, you know?
It's so hard. It's so hard. I find it harder as they get older because my oldest, like I said, [00:46:00] is six and a half now and there's times when like this sass comes out or the saltiness and I'm like, Oh, shoot. At first, my first thought's like, don't talk to me like that. And then I'm like, Ooh, where's she getting that?
Am I modeling the right tone all the time? You know, it's man, hard.
Abbi Hearne: Totally. No, I feel the same way. I feel like, I mean, even too, there's like these, like, just personality aspects that come out and the way I respond to them. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I've got to get my shit together before she's three. You know, which I'm sure that feeling like will persist for the rest of her life.
I've been
Laura Bruner: saying that since, and like you said, around this, like two, three, four, and then it just, they become more aware and you watch them repeat things that you say. This is kind of a funny story. So I was singing the Yankee Doodle song, like, came home from school, kind of singing the first verse. And I have no idea what the second verse words are.
So I'm just like, you know, it's like, Thank you, Doodle. Keep it up. And it's like, Yankee Doodle dandy. And then something along, like, I think I just was joking around. We were driving and I was like, Mine, the something and the something. And I think I [00:47:00] finished it by saying, and let the girls be Randy, you know?
And it's just like totally joking around. Like, they're not going to pick up on that. And it was like kind of just quiet with everyone was just like, dah, dah, dah. And then all of a sudden, five minutes later in the drive, she's like, mama, what's Randy mean? Like, Oh, shoot. Like, how do I approach the conversation about like a girl being Randy, you know, to my sense without
Abbi Hearne: making like sex
Laura Bruner: talk weird.
So it's just this constant reminder of the more, the older they get, they're so aware. The questions come, catch me so off guard, but it's also the best ever. Hello friends, it's
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Laura Bruner: nutrition.
Abbi Hearne: Yeah, I mean, I feel like it is in some ways it's so scary and in some ways it's like a really exciting puzzle and adventure. And I just feel like the fact that I get to do it and that I get to see these like things come about because of the efforts that we put in like there's so much fulfillment in it, which I didn't really expect.
I kind of went into parenthood. You know, with the, so many people are like, Oh, it makes you super selfless. Like it shows you all your flaws, like all these things. And I was like, okay, I'm ready. Like I'm ready to take that on. And I just didn't really realize all the positives and how much it's like you see your effort.
Come to [00:50:00] fruition over and over and over, like I, this is, I know some parents get annoyed when you compare like parenthood to raising a dog, but it's the best way I've been able to explain it where it's like, you know, whenever you're teaching a dog to like shake and then they finally get it and then they can do it on command and it's just the most fulfilling thing where you're like, this is so adorable and it's like they're doing a little funny human thing and it's so funny.
I feel like raising a kid is that every single day, like there's these little things that you teach them or they like pick up on what you said, or they think for themselves in some way, or they're, you know, they'll say something you're like, where did you even learn that? And it's just so cool because it's like dogs learn like five tricks and it's the most exciting thing that you get in there, like 15 years that you get with them and a kid is like a new trick every single day.
Yeah, it's just really, yeah, I love it.
Laura Bruner: The best. That's, I love it so much. So we talked about challenge and lessons. Let's round out the episode. I feel like this is fun. Biggest joy and then [00:51:00] your butt. What do you look forward to? And, you know, we're very much about living in the moment, but I think it's also fun to look forward to things that are coming and that's probably the seven in me as well.
But what has been, like, if you were to kind of sum up, like, Maybe one doesn't have to be, we always, my daughter gets like paralysis and we're like, what was your highlight? She's like, it's so funny. So I'm like, okay, what was one highlight of the day? What's been one joy?
Abbi Hearne: I'm the same way. That's how I feel.
But the first thing that comes to mind is just, I smile and laugh more than I ever have in my life since having her. There's so many hard things and definitely more tear shed than I ever have either, but It's she is so funny. She's so adorable. She's so smart. She's so kind. She's so cuddly and sweet I mean, there's just so many things that i'm like, this is the most fun and Loving person i've ever met and getting to spend my days with her is just so Wonderful.
I feel like I mean it's [00:52:00] certainly hard and there's definitely times where I like need a break and you know where i'm not perfectly present and all these things, but Overall, I just feel like there's so much joy in it, and my life is so much happier since having her, and I really did not expect that or tell myself that that was gonna happen.
So it's been a really nice surprise. It's
Laura Bruner: magic, and you can't, it's one of those things where you can't know until you know. I feel like you just can't know until you're in it.
Abbi Hearne: Totally. I love it. And then what
Laura Bruner: are you looking
Abbi Hearne: forward to? I mean, I feel like I really do just I love every single age that we've reached, like I there.
I never miss any of her previous ages. I don't miss holding a newborn or, you know, having Like, I don't know, a 10 month old or something. I don't really miss any of that. And I feel like it's just so much fun to keep seeing her grow. But when I think about it, I mean, I'm definitely really [00:53:00] excited for when she's old enough to like, want to go on a hike with me and we can talk about things.
I feel like it's going to be really fun once we can start chatting and holding conversation and she's asking me questions and we can just have. More of a communicative relationship. I think that's something that I really value in my friends and value in my family. And I'm so excited to have that with her.
And I just can't wait to see who she is. I feel like there's so many things that I am excited to teach her and talk to her about, but mostly it's just like so cool that there's a ton that I have no idea. I don't know what kind of questions she's going to ask. I don't know what kind of things she's going to.
Want to wear or what kind of music she's gonna want to listen to or you know, what toys she's gonna want or anything I just can't wait to see all of that develop and see who she is
Laura Bruner: I love it so much. I, my good friend of mine, she's her daughter's turn one. And she's like, I don't, I thought I would be like kind of mourning the fact that she's getting older [00:54:00] and whatnot, but I'm in a similar boat.
Like I just, let's celebrate the birthdays and the growth and the, you know, versus like grieving. I love the newborn stage, but we're, we're done with having kids. And I don't like, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not grieving at least right now. I just, I love the kids we made and the people they are more than.
The experience of motherhood, I
Abbi Hearne: guess, for lack of a better word. Isn't that the best feeling? I feel so similarly and I feel like we're very, I feel like this could be a whole episode, but we're very Much right now, happy with just one kid and really giving ourselves permission to just say, like, that could be it, like, we might be done.
And the only grief I have about that is that I wish I had known that that was, would be a possibility when I was pregnant because the whole time I assumed we would have multiple. So my pregnancy and birth, I very much treated like my first pregnancy and my first birth, whereas now I'm like, that might be my only ones.
And I kind of wish I had like given [00:55:00] myself permission to celebrate them as if they were the only time. So I feel like that's my only hesitation with it. And it's almost like I wish I could not redo, but like, you know, feel a little differently during the first period of that. But other than that, I just love thinking of like all of the possibilities of just one kid.
what our life could be. And I feel like I don't, at least at this point, still do not miss the newborn stage or pretty much the entire first year. I feel like every time I talk to parents in their first year, I'm just trying to like encourage them and tell them like it does. It goes quickly. You'll be done soon.
You got this, this, which I, it's funny 'cause so many people are like, it goes quickly, enjoy it. And I, the whole time I was like, you shut up like . Mm-Hmm . It's not going quickly and it's so hard and I feel like. I don't know. I try and just encourage parents and be like, look, if you're not loving this, like, stage of having a five week old, that's okay.
It's [00:56:00] okay to wish that they were a little more older and more, like,
Laura Bruner: I feel like there's so much shame culture right now with social media, like you have to show the highlights and it's all good all the time. And I just, I love the shift happening towards like more real raw reflection and embracing that we can disagree or whatever. And I feel the same. Like, I'm just like, say what you feel because the more you hold it in, the harder it's going to be, you know?
And yeah, every season has its joys and its hearts.
Abbi Hearne: For sure. Yeah, absolutely. I find that I've
Laura Bruner: actually on just like to add to that the three about the three month mark like they're coming kind of coming into their own. They're more aware. And yeah, I feel like all the support stops at the same time. It's like they're newborns.
They're just like a little, you know, for me, sleep was pretty okay in those early weeks and like I could just wear them in the in the wrap and I healed pretty early. Quickly. And I was kind of like, all right, like people are feeding us. This is cool. I'd like to get out more. I'm a little bored, but but then it's like the three month [00:57:00] mark where it's like all of a sudden this baby doesn't want to just be in the wrap.
They're awake more. They want to be held. They're noticing when you are trying to get some quick work done on your computer. And then also there's food to be made. And I'm like getting back to working out and I'm back to work and and but then and all the support kind of stops Like, oh my gosh, I wish I could rewrite the, the whole concept of like the meal drop offs to have them kick off around, like, I need a cleaner and some meals, right?
Oh my gosh, yeah. More now than early on, you know?
Abbi Hearne: Yeah, I do feel like, I mean, that was one of the huge crux, cruxes for us was we didn't have any sort of parent community in Moab when we had our kid and yeah, we just didn't have. Support, which it's hard because like, I even had my brother and his wife were living in Moab at the time.
And they actually just had their first kid in September. And I flew to LA and like spent four days with them and November and like cleaned their house and helped with the baby and gave them a night where they [00:58:00] got to sleep through the night, like all these things and the whole time, my sweet sister in law was just like, I'm so sorry, I didn't do this for you.
And I was like, dude, you didn't know. And I didn't know to ask for this. It's like, New moms don't know what they need. They don't know to say like, come change my sheets, you know? And so when people say like, tell me if you need anything, they're just like, okay, well I'm I'll be okay. And I feel like that's why the meal trains are so important and those things that are set in place, but.
We didn't have any of that. We had like no community, even in Moab, there's not like DoorDash. So we didn't even have the option of like ordering our own food. And so I feel like that was, it was such a hard time for us because just from the beginning we felt really alone. And I remember like one day sitting at with Heider and just thinking like, I just really wish someone would come change my sheet for me.
But I like didn't even have it in me to ask someone to do that. Yeah. That's why, I don't know, one of my biggest things that I think about if we were to have another [00:59:00] is that I already have much more of a community of support around me right now, and I know it would be so much easier because of that, but I definitely feel for the moms who don't feel like they're having any support because That was really hard.
Laura Bruner: 100%. Yeah. And that's, we found that through this podcast, just the people who've even reached out and been like, I was alone when I was having the babies. And like, even though it was virtual, just tuning in and like the solidarity and the real talk, it's amazing what, how much, how far that can go.
Abbi Hearne: Totally.
Yeah. For sure. I love it. Well,
Laura Bruner: any final thoughts you would like to share with the community here before we wrap? I'm just, I'm so grateful to have had you on. This is, I've been pretty giddy about this, to be honest, and I, no surprise, I feel like we're kind of kindred souls. So thank you for sharing your time with us.
Abbi Hearne: Oh my gosh, absolutely. I mean, I feel like we've already named multiple, like, future episodes, so I'm going to invite myself back on.
Laura Bruner: I would love that so much. It'll be fun to see all the girls grow. Totally. Yeah, [01:00:00] it's, and the, the perspective shifts, that's one thing too, it's like, always reserve the right to change my mind because I can have an opinion and I feel like this podcast is a good example of that.
If someone were to listen from day one to now, like, huh, you changed your mind about things and I'd be proudly say, yes, I sure have. I sure hope that my perspective would change, you know, so it'd be fun to have you back as you live more life and come to the table with more
Abbi Hearne: reflections. Absolutely. Yeah, I definitely, I agree.
I feel that's how I feel about my Instagram, you know, like I've been documenting my reality for 10 years and so obviously that has changed a lot and there have been times that I would Learned and switched up and all those things. And I feel like one of my favorite things about that community is just knowing how many people have been here for a lot of it or all of it.
And they've changed too. And it's just such a cool, I feel like every year we get a little closer. The best. Oh, well, thank
Laura Bruner: you. I appreciate you. I look forward to having [01:01:00] you back on. I look forward to continuing to follow your journey, and I look forward to coming to visit you in Moab at some point with my girls as well.
Yeah,
Abbi Hearne: absolutely. Oh my gosh, please do. That would be so fun.
Laura Bruner: Wonderful. All right. Well, thank you. We'll chat soon, I'm sure. Enjoy your start to 2024, and I look forward to connecting again.
Abbi Hearne: Absolutely. All right. Thanks so much. Thank you, Abby. Bye. Bye. Thanks, everyone.
Laura Bruner: Thanks
Abbi Hearne: for listening to us. See you next time.
Thanks for listening to our podcast. See you next time. Bye.[01:02:00]