MMP Ep 345: L&J Talk - Friends and Flossing

Laura: Hey friends! Can't wait till Wednesdays to get your Modern Mamas fix? Join us on Patreon. You can choose your tier, and when you subscribe, you'll get bonus content, early access to Retreat, first peeks at new swag, plus shoutouts and even real time monthly virtual hangs with us.

Jess: Visit patreon. com forward slash modern mamas podcast to check it out and support the podcast.

It truly means the world to us. We are so grateful for you and for this community.

Laura: Hi

friends! Welcome to the Modern Mamas podcast.

Jess: We are two modern mamas here to inspire, empowerment, self love, deep physical and

Laura: spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds, and joy, no matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bo

I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough, [00:01:00] and mindful movement.

Jess: And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness. I am a level one CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a master's in kinesiology, and mama to Bear and Camille. I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners, and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Good morning Modern Mamas podcast listener community. It's really early.

It's early. Even for bystanders. It's way early for you. I appreciate you flexing a little bit this morning. We

Laura: had to. I've been up, it's 545 a. m. and I've been up for two hours. Oh my gosh. So there's that.

Jess: On purpose. A lot on my mind right now. Okay. You, you like set an alarm or you just woke up then? No,

Laura: I woke up and my brain was going and I was like, okay.

Start the date.

Jess: Does that happen often, or is that

Laura: an anomaly? It's usually right around 4. Like 3. 45 it's early, [00:02:00] but I usually will not get out of bed until after 4. That's like a hard rule for me, but this morning I knew we were recording a little bit earlier, and I have a lot of CrossFit work to do, and we're leaving this evening for a trip to Bend, and so.

It wasn't like I was laying there, like, hyperventilating in stress, it was like, okay, I have things that I could be doing right now, I'm awake, and I feel okay about that, and so I started earlier. Gotcha,

Jess: gotcha. Sorry, my children are distracting me, and so is I swear, I know, hashtag real life. I put out all the beanies that they needed and I see Tim miming, where's the beanie?

I'm like, dude, it's all there. It's all where I put it.

Laura: It gets cold in Texas for like two weeks and everyone's like, what do

Jess: I do? I know. It's, it's laughable, honestly. I mean, it really is really, really cold. I mean, it's like, I don't know. It's like, it was like, feels like seven the other morning. So, I mean, to our credit, it's pretty, when it gets cold, it's pretty brutal, but, um, Yeah, it's intense.

Yeah, we were like, we're all just like, freaking out. It's so [00:03:00] cold. So, our house is really old, and it's a Puritan beam home, and it's got original wood floors. I mean, you can't, like, I cannot walk around our house without socks on right now, because it's just, you feel the cold, like, seeping up from the ground.

It is bananas. Anyways, but yeah, I think, I think they

Laura: found everything they need, like, you're on your own. You're on your own. It's like across the country. I mean, we are, it's, there's snow on the ground here. Usually when it snowed on, we had a snow day Friday. It started snowing Thursday night. Resnay and I were at date night.

It was so sweet. He, I got, I guess I'll just say, jump in. Go do it. To a quick update. So we had a date night Thursday, which was just pure magic. I, the sitter came in the afternoon. I snuck away with my book and my work. I went to this really sweet little tap room downtown, um, and had a glass of wine and sat there and worked for a little bit and then read my book and then he showed up, I called in dinner from our favorite spot, he picked it up and met me there because you can bring food in and he got a beer and we sat there and he walked in with the food and like was, [00:04:00] had just little sprinkles of snow on him, little flakes on his eyebrows or his eyelashes, it was so cute and then Over the course of the time we were there, so he met me in our truck, that is not four wheel drive, and I drove the Bronco, and so by the time we were there for a couple hours, I was like, uh, he probably shouldn't drive that home, so we left it in the parking lot there, and then woke up Friday morning to just like, we got home and the girls with us that are out, it was like 7.

30 p. m., they were out in the snow, just like blissful, and then yeah, full snow Friday, so snow day, no school, and then snow all through the weekend, we went sledding. And then it's still there, like it hasn't snowed since, but typically it'll be there for a couple days, but it's just been really, like, not only was it the first snow of the year or the season, but it was also just really cold, like similarly, like low teens and it's not usually that cold here, but it's been fun.

And so I think it has, there's still on the ground and it was supposed to, like, there was supposed to be ice warnings and more snow, but nothing came last night. So I'm hoping Evie has school today, could really use it.

Jess: Yeah. It's like, it's so, I [00:05:00] mean. Yeah. Yeah. Love a good snow cold day, but like it does throw, throw life off, I mean, pretty significantly and I can't even imagine like for parents who like don't work from home just having to reshuffle because we, I mean, here it's more about like, it didn't snow, but like, if it has any sort of precipitation on the road, it will freeze and we don't have enough.

We don't have like things to really take care of our roads for those sorts of situations very well at least and so like you just can't you can't travel when it's like that so we almost had I thought we were going to have a closure yesterday but everything and it it's like frigid but it's like beautiful it's like it's just a gorgeous day and I

Laura: because the sun's out yeah the sun's

Jess: been out here and I noticed like because I've been still going to the gym and I have to walk well like maybe a half a mile to the gym As long as I'm, like, got the proper clothing on, [00:06:00] it's, it's great.

It's, like, invigorating. It feels amazing. And so, that's encouraging. I feel like I'm toughening up in my old age. I can handle the cold a little bit better. So. There

Laura: you go. It's called adaptation. Yeah. It's important. I love it. Yeah. Snow, cold, ice, Rusty's about to walk out the door to work. Yesterday, this guy was out in the field.

Tagging trees and stuff doing forestry like in the snow. I'm in awe of him. It's pretty cool. Does

Jess: he have like serious gear that he has to wear when he's out in the elements?

Laura: Not as serious as you might think. He had to like get his own gaiters and this is the Pacific Northwest. This is, you know, you just get, just, just get used to it.

Like there's, you know, it is what it is. So. Okay, well. Definitely more gear for fire season than for forestry. What

Jess: is, well, maybe that's, that'll be a question for another time. I wanted to like deep dive into forestry, but I feel like today we're actually trying to do somewhat of a [00:07:00] topical, which we keep for all good, good reasons.

We keep being like, we're not really a pro topical, like a six month, I feel like now, six months, we'll do it next time, but I feel like, oh, and I just want to say out loud, I listened to our podcast, this is a whole other tangent. I listened to a podcast episode of us. talking. Like a catch up? Yeah, a catch up, which I never do.

And I really, I'm saying it out loud, and I have every intention of trying to do this. I say, like, so much, it drives me bananas. I was,

Laura: I noticed it with myself too, because, because of the voice, like the voice. Audio bytes that we're doing on Instagram. I'm

Jess: just, I want to be like, see, I said it right there. I want to be, well, but sometimes it's like an appropriate transition word.

But I want to say to myself, you don't need to fill every pause and thought with that word, Jess. So, and it's [00:08:00] even more intensified when I listen to it sped up. Cause it's like, there it goes again. Cause it's so fast, everything's coming just quickly. And so I'm making it my, My one and only New Year's resolution is to say, like, less on the podcast.

Laura: People probably didn't even notice and now

Jess: they're going to notice. Oh, they're going to notice so, so much and they're going to get just as annoyed as I am. So, I apologize. I apologize in advance. I'm working on it.

Laura: Oh, so good. Well, that's okay. Go ahead. We're doing the thing for a long time. We're pretty good at it.

And also, there's always room for improvement.

Jess: Exactly. Exactly. I was thinking about that too today because one thing I did notice was that our audio Has improved, like the quality has improved tremendously, I feel compared to when we first started. So, hey. You win some. There's something.

Laura: It's this new mic I have.

This new headset mic thing. It's so crispy. It's so crispy. And just, uh, props to y'all [00:09:00] for sticking around and for supporting us through every season of me, like, recording in the van, see, like, me recording in the van at times and kids everywhere and babies and breastfeeding and, you know, through all the seasons and shit sound quality and great sound quality.

And on that note, you know, our, our Patreon community is amazing. Just far and above. They're just amazing. We love you all so much, and we just had Jennifer Lopez, who renewed, and that, we talked about this before, two people coming in and out, and so she's a very special mama, and again, there's different tiers, so you're all very special mamas, but there also are tiers, and that's a specific tier, it's like a second tier within Patreon.

You pay as little as 5 a month up to 20 and you get different, different perks. But we're going to rework that a little bit this year, hoping to come together in person. And so stay tuned for more, but we're just super grateful. And you can just honestly just Google if you want, if you're interested, just put in Patreon Modern Mamas and it'll be the first thing that comes up if you want to go check that out.

And we're forever grateful. So thank you, Jennifer. We love you. Welcome back, JLo. Welcome back. I actually remember announcing her the first time, [00:10:00] bye, I love you. You just left. I was like, what? Where are you going? I remember announcing her the first time and I'm sure she'd get, Jennifer, you'd probably get that all the time, but thanks for, I don't know, J Lo.

It's not a bad person to share a name

Jess: with. Oh, no, totally. I would embrace that 100%.

Laura: Own it. That's fierce right there.

Jess: Well, hello there, my friends. Jess here, just popping in to do a wellness check on you. How are you feeling? Right smack in the middle of illness season and I want, no, I need to tell you about something I take regularly.

that I think has had a huge impact on my overall health and recovery from illness this season. Paleo Valley Essential C Complex Capsules. I think we've all heard the importance of vitamin C for our bodies, but did you know that virtually every vitamin C supplement on the market is actually ascorbic acid?

Which is made in a lab. and usually harshly processed with GMO corn and harsh chemicals like acetone. Think nail polish remover? Ugh. Paleo Valley Essential C Complex, however, is [00:11:00] chock full of 450 milligrams of vitamin C per serving, made with all organic superfoods, no synthetic yuckiness, and no isolated asorbic acid.

That's what I'm talking about. I typically take mine in two doses, morning and afternoon, as a preventative measure. And if I'm feeling a tickle in my throat, planning travel, or want an extra boost, I will double up my dose. If you want to check out Paleo Valley's Essential C Complex and incorporate a daily supplement that can improve your antioxidant response, gut health, mental health, sleep, skin, and even your cortisol response, head on over to www.

paleovalley. com forward slash modern mamas and receive 15 percent off your order. Stay vibrant, friends. Our next review is on the podcast going to be, the sound quality's improved, they say like too much, and they're constantly, they're flumming, flumming time of year, they're flumming all over the place.

Okay. There we go. It's still not out, but we're going to keep going. We're going to pretend like it

Laura: is. Okay.

Jess: Any, any other updates? I

Laura: feel. [00:12:00] I've officially started, like, yesterday was my first day with CrossFit as an employee. So I did the onboarding and all that and it just feels good. You know, not a ton has changed.

It just feels, I feel more validated and I feel like I have benefits. Probably don't have to keep paying out of pocket for chiropractic care. I get to go to the dentist for the first time in a long time. It's a little things like that, but I'm like, this is fun. Though, I don't know how it is where you live, but for us, it's like you call to schedule an appointment at the dentist or whatever it is and they're like, cool, we'll see you in 17 months.

Okay. We'll see you then. Great,

Jess: I hope I have insurance then, so. Yeah,

Laura: but fortunately my, my, I take pretty, I have pretty intensively anal oral health practices, so I think I'm good.

Jess: We've talked about that. Was that our Patriot episode that we talked about the dental health, like, fixation? No. The tongue scraping and the flossing and we were like, just do

Laura: it.

Yeah, we talked about that. If you're going to do one thing. Well, everyone, I think about, this is a weird, ready for my train of thought, I [00:13:00] was flossing and I'm thinking about how, like, people don't floss and I'm like, people get really weirded out if you leave food out on the counter and it rots. This is so gross, just a heads up.

So my, my thought process there was. You're freaked out about food going bad on your counter, but you are sitting there with food rotting between your teeth. Oh, God.

Jess: That is disgusting. It's disgusting. And honestly, okay, we're gonna just, we're gonna, we've already went into this direction, so I'm just gonna lean into it.

I have this very weirdly specific gap between two of my back teeth that like, is a Me too. It's just a place where if any food's going to get stuck, that's where it's going to get stuck. And like, it's just gross. It's gross the stuff that I pull out of there. And I floss regularly. I floss

Laura: out after every meal now because if I don't, that gap, which might be a cavity, I'm not, I'm not sure.

It only hurts when food's stuck in there. And so I floss after every single meal because Yeah, similarly, the things that come out, I'm like, I don't want to walk around all day with [00:14:00] in my mouth. Yeah, that's, I mean, hello, bacteria, so

Jess: gross. And then you inspired me because I have tongue scraped at various points in my life, but just fallen off of that.

And I, so we got, I got a tongue, tongue scraper from wellness and it's, it's so nice. Like, I guess I just haven't had. A high quality of a tongue scraper. I don't know what distinguishes a high quality tongue scraper from a poor quality one, but I've been using it and I'm actually proud to say that like not a lot of junk has been coming out like off.

And so I feel like that's a good sign, right?

Laura: Totally. Yeah, I'll notice if I am like go away for a weekend and I eat stuff I don't usually eat and maybe I drink more than a day in a row. I notice more gunk, which I love. I'm like, that's validating that I'm my body is has. I, you know, I don't think that we should all necessarily some people might have to, but I don't necessarily feel like I need to live in a place of 100 percent all the time.

I love to treat myself and You know, have a weekend where I consume things that I might not [00:15:00] usually, whatever, but I love that I know because my, a lot of extras coming off my tongue, it's a good sign that my body is adequately detox the brain because it's coming out. It's, it's leaving my body. Yeah. Your tongue is one of the most effective means of like eliminating that stuff, which is super cool too.

Are mice just so, you know, a lot of folks live in a place of fear of the toxins. We live in a toxic soup in that life and we can control so much, but not everything. And I've, over the past two years, I've really flipped my headspace around it all from a place of, I've stopped following folks who like are a little bit fear mongering around that or dogmatic.

And it's not a, it's not them, it's me. It's something that I'd rather not just have in my environment because I know a lot. I can't unlearn things and I can get obsessive. And so I've shifted my whole perspective on that to, from like, I'm afraid of the world around me and I need to protect myself constantly to my body's resilient.

I support it. And I can take this [00:16:00] stuff on and I'll be okay, you know, and that's just such a, it's amazing the difference in perspective. And that's kind of a cool segue into our topic, in a way, it might be a stretch here, but choosing Explain this to me. Choosing who you

Jess: surround yourself with. Oh, I see what you did

Laura: there.

What we want to talk about today is our, is friendships as an adult. And. I know it can, there's a spectrum of people who are like, I'm having a really hard time finding friends, period, to, and then somewhere in the middle, like, I'm having a hard time finding friends who I'm super aligned with, in the way that I view the world, and the way that I raise my kids, and how I feed them, and what I surround myself with, et cetera.

And then some people are like, I have a great friend group and here's how I've done it and life is good. I've got the same best friend since kindergarten, which is my brother. And I guess where I'm going with that is I have found that I appreciate having a tight knit group of friends or a difference.

Sometimes we can all come together and then I have friends in different kind of from different communities or different places locally, you know, but what, where I'm going with that whole stretch of [00:17:00] a, of a segue is that I personally don't believe that I need. All my friends to be super aligned in every capacity.

There are certain things that like without a shut like morals, that kind of thing to me and the way that knowing that my kids will be safe at their house and those types of things. Obviously, that's not negotiable. General safety,

Jess: physical safety, then

Laura: like general principles and like morals, I think. Yeah, not principles.

Morals

Jess: is hard, though, because I feel like those also not I'm not trying to like debate that, like certain things are not Or, or bad or good, but like, I feel like I have friends on a wide range of morality

Laura: perspectives. I guess it depends on what you mean. Yeah. I guess general safety is a good one. And like, are you a good, how do you quantify, are you a good person, if I walk down the street and there, and there's like a cat there, are you gonna kick it?

Oh, yeah. You know, like, [00:18:00] basically, just are you a good person at your core? Yeah, totally. And, and what is so relative, but there are certain things that I feel like aren't, you know? Right, right, right. So, that's kind of how I feel about it. And then there are things that just naturally fall into place because, It doesn't, it's not a good or bad, but for the most part, I'd say actually across the board, my friends and their kids, they like to get their kids outside because those are, there's commonalities that are going to guide.

A relationship even like kindling, but those non negotiables of are you going to kick a cat that kind of just like starts it, right? So here's what happens if you

Jess: kick your cat in front of me. Okay, go ahead and

Laura: Touch Fiona. I will touch you I mean, that's

Jess: just like and to your point too You kind of you said there's certain commonalities.

I feel like this is just a i'm going off on a tangent here My mind is kind of Going in this direction, but like it's encouraged me and I think you have always been this way, but to be more vocal about what's important to you because [00:19:00] then people can self align or not, right? So the more I am clear on what's important to me and share that.

You know, throughout my, whatever it is that I'm sharing or in conversation or whatever, the more people can, can also self select it's like, okay, like if they're coming to me, they probably know me. They probably seen what I stand for in certain areas and, or at least, you know, the surface stuff, because again, we talk about this constantly on the podcast.

Like, I don't feel the need or that I have to speak on every single. thing. Do you know what I mean? Like all the time, you

Laura: don't need, but you don't

Jess: need to perform. Yes, exactly. But I'm, it doesn't mean I'm not having those conversations, you know, elsewhere, but I feel for the most part as a nine, it's encouraged me just that sentiment.

It's encouraged me to be a little bit more Kind of unapologetic on certain things that I feel comfortable sharing because then I feel like people who align with me [00:20:00] will find me

Laura: that way. Totally. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's being, it's like being vocal or being clear about your, what matters to you without putting it on someone else to necessarily believe the same thing.

Like, I'm not going to outcast you because you don't agree that outside him is important or that maybe we shouldn't eat. a bunch of food dye and canola oil all the time. That's your choice. It's not mine. I'm not gonna make that for you. But when I come to your house, if that's on the table, I'm probably not gonna, I'm gonna offer my kids something else.

And it's not, that decision on my end is not a comment on you as a parent. It's how, that's just a choice that I'm making. And I think navigating friendships in that way of like, clear communication in the beginning, like, I am not judging you. Because I think that's one thing that can sometimes create a void or make friendships hard is when Folks take choices made by other parents or whatever, especially in parenthood, friendships can be complicated.

But my choices are not a personal attack on you. It's just my choice. You do you, I do me. And then are there things [00:21:00] that we can align on? Do we enjoy each other's company? Are our kids getting along? Do we have commonalities? And then sometimes there are none and you can try. I've had, we've met friends here.

Where like the, or maybe the girls were close and we kind of tried and it just, just didn't really work that well. And it's not, it's not, again, it's not a judgment. It's just, I was actually talking to my friend Nicole about this yesterday about how in this season of my life as a grown up with two kids and work and a true deep desire, I think for the first time in a long time, maybe ever to slow down.

I am just being pickier about how I spend my time. Last weekend. We were not social at all, not one time, and it felt so good, and I'm okay with that, you know, and I'm like on Voxer less, and I'm on social media less, and I'm really feeling, it could be seasonal, it could just be, it could be seasonal in terms of like, it's winter, I'm more in hibernation mode, it could be the season of my life that might never, not ever change back, but just feeling very protective of my time and space, and I know that that [00:22:00] The questions that we got about building friendships, I feel like I'm on a tangent here because or off, off the rails a little bit, because I know a lot of the desire was for us to talk about how to create friendships, not how to back away from it and hibernate, but it all makes sense just in terms of some people might need social for the sake of social and just that social engagement, but I am here to say, for me at least, quality is huge over quantity.

Two hours spent with a really close friend that I can just totally be. Myself with versus, you know, a weekend party with a bunch of people. I just, it's this not where I'm at right now. Oh,

Jess: totally. 100%. Hi friends, Laura and Jess here to chat with you about our favorite new oral care products by Wellness, a phenomenal company that we are so proud to be partnering with.

Wellness, a B Corporation, was co founded by Katie Wells of Wellness Mama after years of struggling to find safer and non toxic products for her family.

Laura: Wellness has quite a product lineup, but today we want to chat [00:23:00] about their oral care products, all fluoride free. Fluoride has been extensively researched and linked to potential negative side effects like hormone disruptors, acne, oral microbiome dysregulation, blood pressure issues, and more.

And did you know that every toothpaste with fluoride sold in the U. S. is required to have a poison warning on the tube?

Jess: Yikes. Whoa, not cool. You know what is cool though? Wellness is not only fluoride free, but they also use a substance called microhydroxyapatite. It's a big word. Nicely done. In their products, that is an all natural substance that can replace fluoride and works to strengthen your teeth naturally and safely.

Bear and Kami are loving the Strawberry Kids toothpaste, and Tim and I cannot believe how effective the whitening toothpaste has been in such a short amount of

Laura: time. I need to see some before and

Jess: afters. I'll take some.

Laura: Ha if you wanna check out their offerings, everything from toothpaste to deodorant to shampoo and more, we've got you covered.

Wellness is offering our listeners a special 15% off discount that will be automatically applied when you [00:24:00] shop through our unique link at www.wellnesswllesse.com/discount/modern. Mama, we hope you love their products just as much as we do.

Jess: I was gonna say, when you were kind of. You ended up saying the same thing.

It was just quality over quantity for me. I mean, I, I have a social person, but I also, and the older that I get, and again, like you said, it may be a seasonal thing because this last year I just truly did not have space. For even some of my deepest, most cherished friend friendships, I didn't have what I, I felt like I didn't have the space to really show up in those in the way that I was used to.

And so sometimes I feel like there is a little bit of like seasonality in terms of what you can give to friendships. And I think back too, especially when I was in like early postpartum. With our first, the thought for me, because I was [00:25:00] dealing with like some postpartum anxiety and probably depression, getting out of the house was probably really necessary, but at the same time felt.

So hard. So going to see anyone or, you know, be in the presence of anyone. I was so anxious because Bear would cry all the time and I wasn't comfortable nursing in public at that point because I just was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I did not have a clue what I was doing. I mean, I take that back.

That's not entirely true, but it felt so everything felt so overwhelming. And then just to add trying to carry on a conversation with another adult in that equation, it was just not going to happen. And so I feel like there is some seasonality. I feel like as I get older, also to like you said, just getting pickier.

And also I feel like there's this. There's this constant push and pull, for me at least, because I'm so, I feel like my schedule's so full, when I do have free time, I'm trying to [00:26:00] figure out, where does that go to? Does that go to me? Because I, I need, like. I'm my best friend, ultimately, so do I do I spend that time on myself?

Do I spend that time with my children, my family as a unit? Do I spend that time with my spouse? Or do I have the space to then reach out to someone who I'm I'm missing? It's not like I don't want to reach out to friends. It's just there's this like priority Order that sometimes I kind of have to go through to, to figure out where does this time or energy or space redistributed to?

Does that make sense?

Laura: Yes, it does. On a percent. Especially if you're if you're

Jess: maybe you're trying to coordinate like child care. Maybe you want a friend date that's not with kiddos, you know, so you can have face to face conversation. It's like, okay, we're gonna pay for child care. Should I use that to date my spouse?

Like what? Yeah, there's so many questions, I [00:27:00] feel, that go into determining space for cultivating

Laura: friendships. Totally. I have a good friend here and she, our daughters are about the same age. We both kind of like have been in a season of owning our own businesses and having flexible work. And so sometimes it'll be a couple weeks before we can get together.

Sometimes we'll go have a glass of wine or take the kids on a hike or whatever. And other times it's like, hey, I'm gonna go to this space downtown and just work. Do you want to come? And so we're not necessarily Chatting or, or socializing, but we're just working shoulder to shoulder. It's that kind of friendship where we can just be together and it feels cup filling, but we don't necessarily have to be talking or engaged or whatever.

And I just, that's a nice, it's nice to have that too, where you've got to like, she just gets it. We get it. We're in it. We're busy. Life is hard, but sometimes just companionship is great. You know, so it's just finding friends who you can be honest about your needs. For instance, when you were in that season, and I've been there too, where I just don't have space for social or even for like reaching out and checking in with people that much, you know, doesn't mean I don't care [00:28:00] and it's an understanding and not, again, not taking things as a personal attack.

It's just the season that I'm in and it will come and it will go. And then hopefully when it's, I'm on the other side of it, we can come back together and feel like no time has passed. That's how you know, it's just, it's, it's real. So, and then in terms of how and where I've met, so, so the podcast has been huge obviously, but now that we are.

Deeply, deeply, truly home. I can't express enough. You all know I work for CrossFit and fitness is a huge part of my life. And what I have found is, for instance, when we lived in Santa Cruz, that we met so many of our lifelong friends through Santa Cruz and being engaged and involved there. We, again, then we move here and the two, the two tracks, I'll keep with the fitness bit, our gym here, we've made amazing friends and built an incredible friendship and friendships and community.

And when Rusty had his emergency appendectomy, we were supported and lifted up. We've got sitters for the girls. I can show up to coach like I will today at nine. [00:29:00] And, you know, sometimes there's child care, sometimes there's not, but I know that Indy will be in somebody's arms and she'll be safe. And so, there's an alignment that happens in a gym setting, I think, especially, specifically, I'm gonna, I'm very biased, but I, I believe it to my core, CrossFit is like no, no, nowhere else.

It's not the kind of gym that you walk in and everyone's just doing their own thing, looking in the mirror, which, not a judgment, I've been there. You come in and there's just, there's space to talk, there's space to come together and work out, there's space to cool down and talk, you're supporting each other.

It's just a really, really, really cool space. And then most CrossFit gyms also have holiday parties and like a monthly get together, maybe like an extra yoga class, or, you know, there's a lot of social that goes on and you can assume for the most part that if you're going to a place like a CrossFit gym and you are working out and you're prioritizing that component of your health, and then most of the time, those types of CrossFit gyms will also have.

a basic understanding of like whole food nourishment, and that's a piece of it. And most of the time people [00:30:00] in there are, at least where I live, where it's very outdoor focused, people are in there because they want to train for life. There tends to be multiple avenues of commonality. So you're probably going to be aligned on prioritizing your health.

You're probably going to be aligned on liking to spend time outside. You're, you know, the kinds of, you can assume that if you all get together for food, might be off. The rails sometimes, because people are like, let's go, or, you know, there's going to be like some great protein options. At least there's going to be protein

Jess: options.

Laura: We had a really fun holiday party at our gym, and there's a family at our gym, and they're Indian, and they every, they own a gas station down the road, and every Friday, they, I mean, from scratch, the best Indian food I've ever had, they serve it, you can order it there every Friday. At the gas station? Or at the gas station that they own.

And so they catered the holiday party. Wow. So, like, they make the naan from everything from scratch. And it's like, legit. And so I was asking Ranjit, I was like, hey, can I just show up on a [00:31:00] Friday? Because they had the, they had the paneer, like, it's a curry, it's like a chicken and then a paneer, which is the cheese, you know?

I was like, can I, the chicken was next level. And again, protein. And so what I want to do is figure out, cause I ate their naan, it was delicious, but it's not sourdough. I didn't feel awesome cause gluten, but I want to make sourdough naan. And then like once a month on Friday, just go pick up, I was like, can I just have a tray of your chicken curry?

And then I'll just cook some rice and then I'll have my sourdough naan and just devour their curry. So anyways, Hey, that's that easy, easy, easy button. She said she'd do that for me. Cause usually you just pick up like a platter and it's got the curry, the rice, the, the things. But I was like, can I just get a big tray of.

chicken curry for my whole family. So that's one fitness. I think if you are not an avid fitness enthusiast, it's somewhere something you could consider.

Jess: I will speak to that because if you don't mind me kind of

Laura: jumping in. This is my n equals one experience. Well, I will speak to that because

Jess: I've been on all sides, right?

Like I, you know, we under CrossFit gym. I've been, you [00:32:00] know, entrenched in the CrossFit community for a really long time. And even up and until Well, last couple of years, like always had kind of a home gem to go to and with my back and just like my body's capabilities in the season of life, not being able to go to the gym or it being like a, a good place for me because.

Of my limitations. Let me be clear. I love CrossFit. If I could, I would, but right now, it's just not in the cards. So if that is you, if for whatever reason, if it's, you know, financials or you, you are at home with young kiddos and you need a workout that works from home or, you know, whatever the reason is, I feel like sitting at that whole fitness thing can be a little bit limiting, but on the flip side, I feel like there are so many great online fitness communities as well.

And even some that are CrossFit oriented, but it, you know, obviously it's harder to This doesn't really necessarily [00:33:00] translate into in real life IRL friendships, but sometimes it does because some of these communities that I've been a part of the, the online presence is huge and a lot of what those places will do or those groups will do is like who's local, like put your, put what city you're in and so you can connect and find like minded people, which is kind of like what we do with podcasts.

From time to time. So there are still I feel like even if going to a physical gym location isn't your thing or maybe you go to Planet Fitness and you know, there's not a lot of community there or whatever. I feel like there's still online communities that can connect you in real life if that's something that you want.

So that's my two cents. I'm just getting started with a new channel. Online community and haven't really plugged in too much, but as of yet, but I, I feel like it's there if I wanted it. So,

Laura: that's just my thoughts. I know that street parking's a lot of that. There's like, it's very dialed in terms of community.

Yeah, I mean, I, again, biased, I'd say, if you can find, and not every CrossFit gym is created equal, [00:34:00] but if you can find one, and you've been nervous, or you've been curious, just check it out. It's, you know, it's a good place to start, but then the other component, the other way we found our really cool community here has been through school.

And we have the joy of being able to send them to send EBM soon and data for school. And so there are things like wild and free is a homeschool kind of, you don't have to homeschool to go, but it's typically there's communities all over the country and they meet once a week and it's, it's almost always outdoors.

Things like that, if you've got kids and you are outdoor focused or, you know, like minded in that way and you're, that's, that's for you, something that you want to connect with other moms around, I know you have that commonality. So if all of a sudden it's a Thursday and you need to get out of the house, you can call someone and be like, Hey, can we go for a walk?

Can we take the kids to the beach? Can we go whatever it is to the park even? And that friend will not be like, we're just going to hang out inside today because that's all I want to do, which is fine. Again, not a judgment, [00:35:00] but finding a forest school, a nature school, some sort of outdoor You'd be surprised if you Google like, forest school, or nature outing, or homeschool outdoor co op, and maybe they just meet in the afternoon, you could even take them after school.

Those types, or even start one, or a local, like a Facebook group of local, a local mom group. Hey, every Sunday, or every once, first Sunday of the month, we're gonna meet at this trail and take the kids for a hike. You'd be amazed at how many people will show up and. And the connections you might be able to make there.

Jess: Not sure what to get your partner or yourself for Valentine's Day this year? Look no further because we have the perfect gift. Truly the gift that keeps on giving. All natural, organic, and plant based intimacy products by FOREA. If you've been listening, you know these products have changed our sex lives for the better.

And my one question is What are you waiting for? Listen, this may sound dramatic, but I cannot live without their Awaken Arousal Oil. It has become a staple in our bedroom, and I will forever be a [00:36:00] customer because there's nothing like intimacy after this product. It uses CBD and warming, sensation inducing organic botanicals that enhance arousal, sensitivity, pleasure, access to orgasm, and help with any discomfort.

There's also a CBD free one, too. Borea has other products, including lubricants, and they just launched their brand new intimacy massage oil to take foreplay up a notch by creating connection, enhancing relaxation, and stirring arousal. Ow, ow, ow. Give yourself and your partner the gift you both really want more and better sex in 2024.

So yes, you have my permission to try this. I fully endorse you to go ahead and treat yourself or your partner this Valentine's day. Experience your juiciest and deepest sensual experience with a bottle of Foria. Foria is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20 percent off your first order by visiting foriawellness.

com forward slash modern mamas. Or use code modern mamas at check in that's F O R I A wellness. com forward slash [00:37:00] modern mamas for 20 percent off your first order. I recommend trying their new massage oil combined with their awaken arousal oil. You'll thank me later. I don't love Facebook, but I know for sure.

I've been, and I've been a part of several, like, local crunchy, I mean, whatever it is, insert whatever it is that you feel like is a, like, defining characteristic of what you're looking for in a friendship, but like, there's local crunchy mom groups, there's, you know, baby wearing groups where you can get, like, plugged in, and maybe that's just one thing that you share, but, you know, it's a way, I know Mal, Mal, Or Mal, podcast Mal.

Or Mal, we love you, Mal. She like kind of heads up a baby wearing group in her community. So, you know, it's like, look for it. If it exists, great. If it doesn't, and you have the space and you want to create something that people will be drawn to, do it. Because I, like you said, I feel like it's just, it's easier than ever to, I feel like, [00:38:00] find an online place to get started for something like that.

Yeah, I mean, I'm writing all this down because honestly. I don't feel like I have a community here. I have friends here, of course, but I don't actually have a lot of people in the same stage of life as me. And of course, we have friends through, like, our kids school and stuff, but again, those are more, I haven't fully, Our school, I love a lot of the parents at our school because obviously we all share certain principles when it comes to, like, how we want to educate our kids, but that, I mean, that spans a very wide Like there's a very wide spectrum of parents, of like parents and belief systems and you know, all of that stuff, perspectives.

Laura: Forest school is very niche. I

Jess: feel like it is pretty niche and I'm sure there's some, obviously there's always going to, nobody's like exact clones of one another, [00:39:00] even if they believe in seeing their kids to forest school. Like, you know what I mean? You know what I'm trying to say, but yeah, there's, there's a very wide range of parents at our school.

What? And so. While I like all of the parents at our school, I haven't found like a super close to, Oh, actually I take that back, I'm so sorry. One of my, the parents that I absolutely love and she's in the military, she's a pediatrician, Hi Megan, she listens, she and her family just moved to Las Vegas because of military stuff and I, I was, Literally so sad.

We still text. We never really got a chance to hang out because life is hard and her husband was they were like in separate places. And so she had three kids and it's just like she's trying to survive. But you know, when you just have a friendship where you're just laughing and you get it and you're saying all the same like corny things and it's just like, Oh, this person Hmm.

This person gets me. Anyways, Megan, I miss you. Come visit. It was [00:40:00] really, really hard because it was one of those instances where I felt like, Oh, this was. This was a miss, like we missed

Laura: that

Jess: connection being able to really kind of see it play out in real life, but I feel like I haven't done a great job of getting connected locally and part of that is I feel like I've always kind of felt like this isn't necessarily home.

And that doesn't mean even if you are, because I know there's probably a lot of listeners who are military in the military or have a military spouse or whatever, where they're constantly moving. And that's not to say just because you are moving a lot, you can't get plugged in. I feel like it's probably crucial for you to get plugged in quickly.

But for me, I think it's been something that's and so I actually get excited when we talk about moving, even if it's. Even if we make that decision that, okay, we're staying in San Antonio, we're going to move houses or whatever, like, this is where we're going to be, I feel like something in my brain will then allow me to kind of really dig deep [00:41:00] or, you know, I think about us moving to potentially Corpus and I'm like, okay, this is where we're going to be, I'm doing all the things, like, I'm taking a page from Laura's book and we're going to, I'm going to get plugged in because I don't know, that has something to do with it, for me at least.

And so. Even, yeah,

Laura: it took us, when we finally were like, this is it, we're sticking, that's, that's when I feel as though friendships that I've had really, really started to like solidify here because I think my friends were kind of like, well, why invest, you're leaving. And then, and for us too, it was kind of like, okay, well, why invest, we're leaving.

And so now it's been really magical to see. I'm, it's interesting, I feel like I'm being less social in terms of time spent on doing social things. But the time that I do spend with friends, it feels very cup filling and juvenating and we're just finding friends and, and what's, I think for the first time in a while, family units where we all just, it [00:42:00] works.

And that's such a cool feeling when we can all get together and all Rusty's on board and that kind of thing. So it's just, it's a, it's part of the reason we're really sticking around is we found those friendships here with other friends who we know are sticking around, though we do have some really close friends here that now.

It's their story to tell, so I'm not going to share too much, but the dad is considering going back to school for architecture and they might be leaving.

Jess: Oh, no.

Laura: Do it. So, but if they do go, the places that they're considering are places we love. So, you know, it's another reason to visit, but like, I just.

That's

Jess: hard. That's another part of it is like, I was thinking as you were talking, for me, at least, it's a little bit self protective. It's like, I don't want to get. So invested and then, you know, leave or they're leaving and that's, that's silly because when you find someone that you really connect with, like, like you said, that connection is still going to be there even if you're not.

Laura: Yeah, but it's calling someone up, like my friend Mariah, I can, [00:43:00] oh, on a Tuesday, she's the one that sometimes we'll just co work together and not talk. Like, hey. And our kids are napping on pretty much the same schedule and, and, you know, so like, Hey, it's a Wednesday. Do you want to just like take the kids down to Collywood Beach, you know, and she's pretty much always game.

Friendships like that where it's, it's hard, it's not the same when they are, when it's a remote, remote friendship. But I do have a travel bug and so it's nice to have people to know that I, I've got somewhere to go and land. Good reasons to travel when I'm needing it. Hi, is there a truck

Jess: of some sort?

Sorry. Yeah. I was trying to mute. It's the trash truck.

Laura: Pfft. Hey guy,

Jess: you can keep talking and I'll mute if you want to anyways, oh my gosh, it's obnoxious too because they like take it, they lift it up and then they like bang it a couple times. So

Laura: gotta make sure it's fully out.

Jess: But yeah, I kind of want to ask you, and this is kind of a tangent on this topic is [00:44:00] what do you do when you disagree?

With I would say not not an acquaintance, but maybe a good friend because I don't agree on everything I think we agree on a lot of the like fundamental things that like strengthen a friendship But

Laura: I think a testament to a sound friendship is that you can sit there and have a really good conversation I love we have our friends Jason and Katie here and Jason's been Rusty's best friend since first grade.

And so as we've, you know, grown in friendship and built family, there are very clear things that we do differently and they would say the same. There are differences in opinions that we have and they would say the same. We can sit around and we do dinner at least once a month and we can sit there and over dinner and maybe glass of wine, maybe not, and just have really cool conversations where we like fundamentally disagree on something.

And it's okay. And I learn something every time. And we leave happy and we give hugs and I think that is a testament to a really sound friendship because there are going to be things [00:45:00] that we disagree on. They parent a little bit differently than we do. They, there are some things like socially that we differ on and, and that kind of thing.

And, and the same thing with like fitness and nutrition, things that we don't align on. And I catch sometimes Rusty or myself, typically not at the same time, like you can just see the frustration building. Um, but then we can just talk through it, let it pass, move on, and life is good. And so I am not going to shy away from those conversations, but I am going to be aware of time and place and setting and mood and feelings and all of that.

So there is a time and a place. To have those conversations when everyone's open to it. And then there's a time and a place to just talk about something else, you know, it's reading the people and as, and maybe not diving deep into those types of conversations right out the gate. Yeah. As you're feeling it out and building friendships.

I'm not saying hide your non negotiables or your, like, you know, your standards or the things that matter to you, voice those for sure. Your friend's response, whether they disagree [00:46:00] or not, you might not know right away, but if it's a game, like a deal breaker for them, and then that person no longer.

Initiate things or accepts invitations, then that's fine. Why? Why? So I guess it comes down to I don't hide my beliefs, but I also don't come out, I don't let my eight wing lead my every interaction. I love it and I love that part of myself, but it's just moving forward with respect. Mm-Hmm. and empathy and a basic understanding that all humans are different because of the way our past lived experience.

So, I'm not going to be like, here's the right way, this is the way it is, if you don't agree, you're wrong. Right. But here's how I navigate life. Are there enough pillars we align on for this relationship to work? And if not, okay, I'll see you at get togethers, maybe like the school potlucks and we're at the gym and we can be cordial and enjoy each other's [00:47:00] company in those settings, but I'm not going to dive deep.

Absolutely.

Jess: I feel like I, I'm a, a person who's probably on the range of acceptance of differing opinions, very, very accepting. At least I like to think so.

Laura: Oh, totally. Probably more so than me. I just, I'm

Jess: like, cool. You do you. You feel very strongly about that. That's awesome. And I've been in in social situations where sometimes there's a lot of like strong, strong opinions and people want mine.

And I'm like, I don't feel like I need to have anything to add to this. And people like want to know where you stand on everything, right? And sometimes it can get so heated. It's like, yeah. Wow, let's just like tape, take a step back. And for me, at least I'll speak to even coming from those situations, like things that I know that certain that people feel very strongly about, it's just another piece of information about them.

Like I still can have very [00:48:00] enjoyable interactions with people that feel very, very, very oppositely of me. In in whatever on whatever topic, and so I feel like I'm just I'm fairly tolerant. I mean, as long as it's like, you know, I mean, like you said, there are certain morals where I'm like, okay, if you're if you're saying that, like Animals suck and you want to kill.

I mean, this is just a stupid example, but whatever, like started that. So I'm just going to go on that, that babe, but you can assume what I'm talking. There are certain things that I'm talking about here. Like that's a deal breaker. But for the most part, I'm just, I'm, you know, like you do you. That's great.

You're still

Laura: a good person. The whole COVID situation put people, I'm not, this isn't a rule. It just seems to be a general norm or trend that I've seen. Yeah. It kind of shot people in either direction, and some people might have waffled. They might have been in one camp early and then shifted gears, but I think it either put people very polarized, where if you don't align with my beliefs, you are [00:49:00] demonized.

Or it gave people more perspective on the fact that we're all different, and that we don't live in boxes, and it's not black or white, and that we reserve the right to change our mind, and just kind of gave people more flex, I've seen, I've seen both sides, I've lost, completely lost friendships, which I'm okay with, it's not, those are not necessarily people, if we can't align on certain things, and that means you want to cut me from your life because of whatever reason, Then fine, it's not, it's not a friendship that's worth having, for me, I don't need to waste my energy on that, but I've also seen people who maybe we don't align on certain things, and our friendship has grown, because they're just, through all of that, there's been more understanding and more empathy has come, and maybe a shift in perspective, or you know, shift in one camp or one area that's made, I think people realize, Oh, gosh, we aren't because it got so intense for so long.

And I think people lost friendships and families were broken. And then I think lots came out the other side, like, okay, I either need to do better and see the gray area [00:50:00] and people learned lessons, or they just. Really just ground their heels in the choice that they make, so. Right. Yeah. I think we all came out the other side of that in different ways and growth or maybe not.

Hey, uh, Laura here to share a company that I've used and loved since preconception with IndieBow. And even now, at two years postpartum, the supplements continue to support my immune system, sleep, vitality, and overall health. And Rusty's too. We are so proud to partner with Needed, a company dedicated to providing radically better nutrition while advocating for better maternal and infant health outcomes through their dedicated research and clinical study.

Pregnancy and postpartum are some of the most nutritionally demanding times in a woman's life. I know firsthand how important nutrient status was for my health during pregnancy, through postpartum, and now as I continue to care for myself and my girls. Did you know that 95 percent of women in the perinatal stages have nutrient deficiencies?

Most prenatal vitamins include bare minimum nutrition based on [00:51:00] outdated guidance and stale research. We deserve to thrive, not just survive. Needed products are formulated by experts in women's health, backed by clinical insights from their collective of over 4, 000 practitioners. And tried and tested by mamas everywhere.

And we're thrilled to be able to offer you 20 percent off your first month by visiting thisisneeded. com and using the code modernmamas at checkout. Needed offers radically better nutrition for women from conception to pregnancy, to new motherhood and beyond. I am deeply grateful to have thrived through pregnancy and postpartum with Indy, and I can honestly say that Needed played such an imperative part in my postpartum healing, nutrient repletion, milk supply, sleep, focus, and mood.

I love Needed's prenatal multi through preconception, pregnancy, and the first year postpartum. The easy to take vanilla powder was perfect for those tough, nauseous early months. And I am currently loving the women's multivitamin and the stress and sleep support plan to support a healthy stress response and optimal sleep and relaxation.

Remember, Needed is giving our Modern Mamas community 20 percent off your [00:52:00] first month. Visit ThisIsNeeded. com and use code ModernMamas at checkout. Let's make this the year of you.

Jess: I learn stuff from people who have differing opinions all the time and things that challenge my way of thinking. Where I tend to, I guess this is, this is still in the vein of friendship, I'm thinking about this in particular, but where an instance that happened to me recently, where I shut down is when someone kind of shoulds on, on me to an extent and that shoulding, saying it shoulding is probably even a politer way, but a very aggressive, like, you're wrong if you're doing this, why can't you, you know, yada, yada, yada.

And that's where I'm like, Oh, no, no, like this shows me, this is a sign to me that a French there's, there's gotta be give and take, right? Like, there's gotta be space for conversation. And if someone shows me that side of themselves early on, I'm [00:53:00] like, what? Like, there's no, we, I don't, I don't know that we can.

Be we can be acquaintances, but I don't know that I'm going to be vulnerable with you to the point of friendship. Do you know what I mean? And I think that's what it really comes down to is when you're choosing a friend, friends, a friend group or a specific friend. My question to myself is, can I be vulnerable with this person?

Laura: Does this feel safe? Yeah. All my kids to be safe with these friends

Jess: and I want to feel safe. Does it feel safe? And, uh, and that's both physically and like emotionally, mentally, spiritually, all of that. And I don't know. I think I just had a revelation. That's just, I'm going to run my, my friendships through that specific question from here on out, because that covers a wide variety of things.

That's not like, do we, the question is not, do we agree on everything? Does she check all these boxes? It's like, do I feel safe to be vulnerable with this person? Or do I think I could be safe, you know, and then you [00:54:00] have space to explore and decide later on if If that's true or not, but okay. Well, I just learned something about myself.

Laura: That's fun. That's over here, right? Yeah. Yeah, this is cool. It's like we got this question multiple times, and I was like, we should probably address this. And I'm glad we

Jess: did. I'm glad too. I mean, I know we didn't necessarily touch on a ton of, I mean, you did, you touched on a lot of practical stuff, but I mean,

Laura: Very specific to me, though.

Yeah,

Jess: but it's also, That's what we're here for, right? That's stuff, that's stuff that probably a lot of people don't. I mean, it's like, Get plugged in there's the, you know, find, find your communities. There are different ways to do that. But at the end of the day, it's really just like, what is important to you in a friendship and really evaluating that and seeing how you can approach the adults in your life through that lens and start to build your community.

I'm, I'm so excited. I'm excited to take what I've learned from this podcast. Going forward, like, if we stay or if we, if we go, [00:55:00] it'll be fine. It'll be an experiment. I'll keep you all posted. If we stay or if we

Laura: go. What's the, like, the current vibe on that? On moving?

Jess: Mm hmm. I think we're still, I think our intention is very much moving to Corpus.

The only thing, I mean, there are many, many obstacles to get there in terms of our home and the housing market and Tim's work, you know, financially, like, you know, it costs a lot of money to buy a house, down payment, closing costs, you know, all of that. We gotta find someone to buy a house for a good price because it's worth a lot of, I mean, it's worth a decent amount of money to just, I'm not, not, no bones about it because of its location, it's historic, all that, but right now, if we tried to sell it, we probably, it would be, we would take a loss, and so, we're just kind of Seeing how the housing trends

Laura: play out and they're definitely going down a bit, huh?

Jess: Yeah. [00:56:00] Yeah. And so everyone's projecting that 2024 is going to improve for buyers and sellers. And so fingers crossed there. But our goal would be to move by the end of the summer so that the kids could start school in their new and hopefully final place. So. We will see. It just felt so good to be there in Corpus.

And again, like, I think I mentioned on the, it could have been a Patreon episode or it could have been the last catch up,

Laura: but this is why you need to join Patreon friends because we don't know what we say where. Don't miss it.

Jess: But like, you know, when the weather's amazing, it, the vibes are immaculate. In Corpus, the beach is gorgeous.

It's just amazing. And you

Laura: know, how many months of the year can you expect that? Three? Maybe. Okay. Is it fall or spring or both?

Jess: It's like, it's fall and spring, even through like spring break, it's going to be, there's going to be bouts of like cool, cool weather. But the difference for me with corpus is that like, even when it's a [00:57:00] hundred degrees, there's this strong breeze off the water.

To where it's just not as miserable. It just isn't. I mean, it's even if it's humid, you can still be outside and it be a lot more pleasant. So that's our fingers crossed. I think it's all right. I think it will work. But lots of lots of things have to happen and We'll see.

Laura: Well, I look forward to hearing. We will be here, but I will say we had, I think I've chatted on the podcast about a hope manifest to try and buy our rental.

And I finally was like, if I'm giving it mental energy, I need to just ask the landlord because they started to clear out. We have a bigger plot, but it's fenced. Like Two thirds of the way. And so her apple tree and there's just like, it's empty back behind us cut down our tree. Oh, no. And it's not ours.

Obviously we're renting and they didn't say anything. And I was like, what the heck? And so then I messaged her and I was like, Hey, what happened? You know, and she didn't quite say. And then I was like, I'm just going to. Put this out there. And [00:58:00] so I emailed her and I was like, Hey, just want to know if this is, we love it here.

This, our best friends live behind us where we can walk. Like this is a prime spot for us as a family. We see ourselves settling here. And would you ever consider selling and or like a rent to buy if so? And she's like, Nope, we need the income and they're actually going to build a smaller like unit on the back to rent out as well.

So man, I know it's a bummer. We are, they're going to start that build in the summer and then we'll have one year here. So we, there won't be that much overlap. Oh, that someone living behind us, it's not the end of the world, but we can't buy it. So now I've been able, we've been, Rusty and I have been able to like release that potential and start to consider.

And really think about saving. So a year and a half from now, we would love to be able to buy somewhere from here and it just gives us, you know, now we have some space. So hopefully the market does some good correction for, for us too. But I know if it corrects really well for us, it might not be the best for you.

So we'll see. Anyways, that should be, that it's just nice to have that release. And you know, this house we are out, it's a single, [00:59:00] you know, it's a single bathroom, two bedroom. I think two bedroom, totally fine. We've got two girls, like they can share, but they're also four and a half years apart. So. As Evie gets into, you know, her pre teen years, and Indy is still very much a little kid, I think that'll get hard.

And so, and then with the one bathroom, we'd have to do a lot of work to make this a more forever long term home, and so I think, and also, The beauty of where we live is that we can be 10 minutes downtown and a 10 minute drive and potentially even just a bike ride and have space and feel removed. And so I think we're, you know, I really like being this close, but I also love that, you know, with the snow that just we got, it would have been nice if I felt super comfortable just being like, Hey, go get outside, you know, and watch through the windows or whatever.

But I just. I don't feel with Indy, her age and cars and stuff, I just, I can't do that right now. And so to have a property with some more space where that I can be looking out the window and they can just be playing would make my life easier. [01:00:00] It'd be, you know, I always say like, no walls to bounce off of, they can't bounce off them.

So it's given us more, I think I was heels in manifesting. I want to be walkable to downtown, but now I'm like, okay, so this is off the table. Is that what we actually want? I think we both want a little bit more space. So it's opening up, you know me forever silver lining I'm actually it feels good just to have that and then there's a house four doors down that's empty and There was a renter in there and it's absolutely beautiful.

This gal has maintained the like craftsman It's gorgeous outdoor fireplace all the things and it's sitting there empty And I think she's getting ready to sell and she is a friend of a friend So I wrote a letter and put a picture in her mailbox, which I don't even think she's checked. So there are two and there's another house that needs a ton of work on our friend street behind us.

And so we're open to those if they were to come to fruition. And then if not, um, we have a year and a half to kind of hopefully dial some things in and, and buy here, which would be, because that's when our lease is up. Oh my gosh.

Jess: That's [01:01:00] What about your friends who might be leaving and their husband going, is going to architecture school?

Do they own their house or are they renting?

Laura: They do own their house. Mm. And I, it's the same size as ours, if not small tree. Mm-Hmm. . It would just, you know, there's still that like a lateral to it. Yeah. Yeah. So, huh.

Jess: Oh, exciting times. I mean, home ownership, buying a house. I mean, we've been, we've only been through it once, but it's, and it was actually a very great for us situation because we were rent, it was a rent and then they were going to put it on the market and they were like, do you want to buy it?

Yeah, we tried. I mean, it was worth a shot for sure. But I imagine that like going into it as like in a regular situation where you're like putting offers in on houses and having to go back and forth is probably a lot more Yeah. More difficult. I don't want to do it. But at the same time, kind of like where you are, we want personally for like, I do not want to move again.

I want the next house that we move into, even if it's a fixer upper, which I'm fine with, with doing. I just, [01:02:00] I want to be like, okay, this is the place. Look back for a movie and again, living sucks. I'll just say it. And so I don't want to do it anywhere. And so I'll, I'll be vibing that for you and I'll be wishing the same for ourselves.

Laura: Thank you. I feel ready to put down roots and I want a house. I know Rusty just wants to be able to like Poor love from his hands and body into a home, you know, he's got all these fun ideas and he wants a project and he wants to buy a car and like, stop, let's buy a house, put the energy, you know, into a house.

So we'll see how it all shakes. But yeah, send those good vibes. Think, you know, this year has this panning out how we hope Rusty applied for us full time or wildfire. So right now, summer, he's wildland, off season, he's doing forestry. He's a forester. And it's, I mean, both seasons are so taxing for obviously wildland fire, it's very, for obvious reasons.

But then when it comes to the forestry stuff, that's also very taxing because he is out in the cold winter [01:03:00] time, rucking, like literally rucking through the forest and it's on trail. It's, it's, you know, the whole thing, tagging trees and he's, he's tired. And so this would make for a little bit more flexibility in the summertime for him to potentially even say, Hey.

Like, when we go camp on Lopez Island, he could, he has a little, he'll have a little bit more, what's the word, seniority to take, choose a trip and not be on call. So we might get one vacation with him every summer, and then in the off season it would be much slower, and there'd be a pay increase and whatnot.

So we're just really hoping that that pans out. He'll find out within the next week or so. So, manifesting good things there, and then it would just kind of give us, you know, and then winters would be much slower, he'd still go in, he'd still work four tens, but he'd probably have a little bit more flexibility to, you know, as, especially as he solidified himself in that capacity.

So, yeah, it's just, this year feels, last year felt challenging and hard, and then we've already, I feel like I'm, I'm not going to say kicking a dead horse, because isn't that, that's like the phrase, awful. Kicking a dead

Jess: horse.

Laura: Where's this? Kicking cats. A dead horse. [01:04:00] But it does feel like we are moving, you know, this year, I just there's a different energy already and I've noticed that for you, it seems just in watching what I and our conversations here and then the bits, the little snippets that I've seen on social media because I've been on there way less.

I don't know if y'all have noticed. Probably not. But in any case, I think snippets and you just there seems to be a levity that I haven't Seen

Jess: in a while. There is, there's, I, you know, I shared on social media that, and I think here as well, like my resolution or my commitment this year is to myself and to put myself first and that may sound selfish to a lot of people, but it's, it's not, it is because it's like, I have to be, I have to do that because again, 2023 was just, uh, Was a series of unfortunate events that involved me kind of devolving into this like, survival Jess, which I did not like, I did not like the person that I was slash I'm still kind of crawling out of there, [01:05:00] but it's like, it's just, and it's hard and, but there is a levity.

I feel Tim's working on some stuff. With his business, you know, nothing has come to fruition yet, but we're still putting a lot of like Irons in the fire for him to see what pans out and then my work has just become a lot more Stable I think and I've been able to say no to things and see that like We're still taken care of and so a lot of my fear was around like, oh my god, we're gonna be destitute We're gonna lose the house We can't we won't be able to send our kids to school Like all these things these fears that didn't come true and because they didn't i'm like, okay You're going to be okay.

We're going to be okay. Even though it might be tough sometimes and you have to say no to things and you know, whatever it's you're still going to be okay and you can still thrive. And so a lot of that is like I put my water. I make my water for the day. I put my supplements out in the morning. I prioritize eating before I get to work.

[01:06:00] I am you. Actually going to the gym pretty much every single day, even if it's just to like roll or do mobility. And so I think that's just translating to better energy and shameless plug. I honestly think I know we need to kind of wrap up here, but I've been taking my needed vitamins for since the 1st of January.

And I feel like I don't know exactly which ones are being helpful, but the stress support, I have a sneaking suspicion. That just being consistent with that because it's like my stress level hasn't necessarily changed the requirements of me haven't changed, but I feel more resilient and so I'm curious if it's if it has anything to do with that.

I'm sure being supported nutritionally makes a huge difference. So we'll see. I do. I feel levity. I feel I love that. And I feel like we got

Laura: this, so. Ah, makes me happy.

Jess: Good times. Well, that feels good. Yeah. That [01:07:00] was great. An hour into this topical that kind of took some turns. I know y'all are here for it though, but thanks for tuning in and listening to everything we have to ramble about.

Laura: We appreciate it. Yeah. And if you have other topics you'd like us to tackle, then again, the topicals, just a refresher on that, are always going to be us just sharing our journeys, not, we don't come to these episodes as experts. We have experts on to talk about their expertise, but for the topicals, anything you want us to share, our unique journeys in hopes of garnering what you do or do not want to take from those journeys, let us know.

We'd love to talk about it. Yeah, I know. More topicals in 2024.

Jess: Totally. We had a request about money. Ugh,

Laura: right. And I love that topic. Yeah, I'll just be over here. You'll just be over there doing what? Tuning you out.

Jess: Laura's like, la la la

Laura: la la. Oh my god, I know it's horrible and I, I need, this

Jess: is an area of growth. It's not horrible. [01:08:00]

Laura: I've gotten better at saving. That's great. But in terms of, you know, I just like I outsource our taxes, I, that kind of thing, I just. The mental stress that it, that's

Jess: valuable though. And, and that's, that's, that's, I mean, we do that as well.

So, I mean, that's a good, that's a valuable perspective. Cause I think this person is specifically was asking about being self employed and finances and stuff. And so that's a whole nother ball game when you're also self employed and I know you're switching to full time CrossFit stuff, but like you still have your business and there's so many things.

But I think from a money, we could all, we could talk money mindset all. All day because we both have our own stuff that

Laura: we bring to the table. I think a lot of that is, I think it's important to acknowledge the way that our upbringings play into that. Yeah, I think, I'm here for it. I think it'd be good processing for me and I've grown a lot and seen a lot.

And I'm in a much better place, not that I was in a bad place, like I don't have any trauma, I was just always fine. And [01:09:00] so I was able to, I had the convenience of luxury that in some ways hasn't served me in the long run to just like block it out, we're gonna be fine. I also, as we've talked about, I'm an eternal optimist, so I'm like, it's I'm sure we've got a bunch of stuff, we'll be fine, you know, like we are, but it took a while and there was some stress involved and stress we could have avoided.

So, you know, stress, stress acutely or stress in the long run, you choose.

Jess: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Ooh, let's. Oh, we'll, we'll, we'll tackle it. I don't know when. No, I think that'd be good. But we'll tackle it for sure. That sounds like a good one. But yeah. Send us, send us other topical requests. I feel like this was a good one to kind of get us back in the groove.

So thanks for tuning in, friends. Yeah.

Laura: And I hear Miss Indie Bow, so it's

Jess: perfect timing. Awesome. Well, we'll catch you on the flip side. All right.

Laura: Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to our podcast.

Jess: See you next time. Bye.