MMP Ep 308: PaleOMG’s Juli Bauer Rothon Changing Your Mind About Having Children

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Hi, friends. Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire empowerment, self-love, deep physical, and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds and joy. No matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and Mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.

I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough [00:01:00] and mindful movement. And I'm Jess of Hold The Space Wellness. I'm a level one CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a Masters in Kinesiology and Mama Tobe and Camille. I love food trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Modern Mamas Podcast.

I'm really, really excited. Today we have a follow up episode, which has only happened a handful of times, so I'm chatting with Julie Bauer Roth. Do you go by Julie Bower Roth? All, all of the names. Or Yeah, I, that's what I, that's what I say. Okay. Julie Bower Roth and she's back on and we are go doing a followup episode to a previous episode that we did and gosh, I had it written down August, 2019.

Yeah, we, when you came on and we were chatting with you [00:02:00] about your decision not to have kiddos in that moment, that was your decision. And it was such a cool conversation. We got so much. Like just amazing feedback from other, you know, mamas who just appreciated your perspective. And then people who were thinking about becoming moms and like just weren't quite sure if that's what they wanted to do.

And it was such a valuable perspective and you are so well loved by our community. And now fast forward, it is 2022. What year is it? It's 2022. Uh, and things have changed. Things have changed a little bit for you, right, Julie? Big time. Big time changed. So today we're really gonna be talking with you and really kind of picking your brain about.

The changing your mind. I think the bigger picture is changing your mind, right? Like how that process evolved for you. But really the focus of this episode will be changing your mind about having children because surprise you, you have a kiddo now. Yes, I have a little daughter. It's just wild. [00:03:00] It is so wild.

And I'm, I'm so excited to hear more about your story because I've just followed you for, I've seen that kind of evolution and I don't know if everyone, all of our listeners have really seen how that has changed for you. And I've seen, you know, not just your evolution of this particular decision, but. I think you had like a couple years of like really significant, it seemed, and I could be putting words into your mouth, like spiritual growth and just mindset work that maybe kind of went hand in hand with, with this, with this decision.

Am I totally off base here? Oh, I think you're totally right. Yeah. And so I'm really, really excited to kind of dive into that whole process. So, We'll kind of back up a little bit because I want to, I think most people probably have listened to your early episode, but, and they kind of know a little bit about you, but just to give our listeners an idea of who you are, I'm gonna read your bio and I feel like this is the smallest bio that you could have provided that that doesn't even come near a close enough to touching all the things that you actually do, [00:04:00] but it's great.

So Julie Bar Roth is the food, fitness and lifestyle blogger behind Paleo mg, which is truly one of the. Og just blog, like food blogs out there. I mean, when did you start your food blog? I started it in 2011, so yeah, it's been over, my gosh, 10 years now. That is bananas and since Funny then funny, so you're the food fitness and lifestyle blogger behind Pale mg and that is in a nutshell who you are.

And so, but you have evolved from food and you know, just doing recipes and CrossFit and like kind of, if you don't mind like kind of just giving us the bullet points of all the things that you're focused on doing right now. Cause I know you've got programs and you've got like all sorts of stuff going on.

Yeah, I mean it's, it started as a food app just, or sorry, a food blog. Now everything's apps, but it started as a food blog and then I would start sharing kind of just what was going on in my daily life and. Started [00:05:00] sharing my workouts and when I went on book tour, I started sharing fashion when I was just wearing all kinds of different outfits on tour.

And so it just evolved into all kinds of different things and really I think Instagram as it has for so many other people, really evolved. It bloggers into maybe influencers. Mm-hmm. And so it, I think it's really interesting just to see where social media takes us in different directions. Mm-hmm. So once I had, My blog on a regular basis, and then it kind of turned into more Instagram all the time, and now I share YouTube videos twice a week.

I created a bunch of different fitness programs. I think I have maybe 11 or 12 different fitness programs. Oh goodness. So whether you want a body weight program, you're looking for a six month progressive overload program, you need workouts that are 30 minutes or less. I have programs for everybody [00:06:00] and.

Then I wanted to start YouTube. So I started doing that, and then now I'm currently working on a fitness app. And so if you don't wanna follow a fitness program and you just want daily workouts to just grab and go, or if you just wanna follow different types of fitness, Like if you're just looking for a backend glutes workout that day, you can just pick that on the app.

So I'm currently working on that, and that's hopefully to launch in the new year, hopefully at the end of the year if possible. But just waiting for all these little things to finish out with the app. It's like, Uh, testing cannot reimagine. So you're building the app from scratch, essentially, or are y'all No, I'm, I'm actually working with a company who they own the app.

Mm-hmm. And then they work with different fitness influencers. Oh, okay. And creators. Okay. And then, They build out everything for you and you create the content. So they build out the, the backend of like how it [00:07:00] looks and branding and everything like that. So now we're just testing and retesting because okay, all the people who've purchased my fitness programs, which I have like 8,000 people who've pitched, purchased those programs, I wanna move them over to the app so then they can use the app to see their fitness programs.

That gotcha there. So it just takes a lot of work to move all those people over. Oh my gosh. 8,000 people. That is, is incredible. Does that feel like so good? Just amazing to know that you've got like this, I mean, you've got a large community on Instagram. I know and some, and social media these days are hit or miss, but those people I, I can imagine that are like really?

Sign, like signed in and signed up for that type of program. Like those are your people. Right. And like incredible. Yeah. Does it feel incredible just to know that you have that like sort of community where it's just like, these, these people are here for, for Julie and like really believe in you? Yeah. It's so cool, like, so fun that I've had many of these people who've purchased the program.

I mean, they've been with [00:08:00] Paleo g and with me from the beginning mm-hmm. Of my blog. And they've just, Continue to follow as I've morphed and changed and evolved and the support is just so cool and that. These programs have changed their life, hopefully in a positive way. Mm-hmm. It's just really freaking cool.

And

what are you excited about? Like aside from the app, hopefully launching beginning of the year, like where do you see, do you have any other things that you wanna work on? Like I'm sure, I feel like you're kind of a serial entrepreneur where it's like you've got all these ideas about things you can do, but like, do you have anything specifically that you're looking forward to kind of getting into in 2023 or beyond?

No, I, I feel like so many actually, no. Yeah. I feel like so many people, like my friend Cassie, from Fed and Fit. Mm-hmm. It's like she always has these big ideas, like, you know, a huge whiteboard of all these things. And my ideas are like, I. Day of, and then I just execute on them. And so I am not one of those people who thinks super far into the future.

Mm-hmm. [00:09:00] I am like a person who goes with my gut, and if something feels right, I jump on it. And so this app was one of those things. It was like, oh, okay, this feels right. This feels like the next chapter of what I wanna do. I'm gonna jump on it. But I don't, I'm not one of those people who has these like huge, big dreams or ideas.

I wish I did. That would be really cool. But my hope is just to continue to build a YouTube channel because that's where I'm having the most fun, cuz I get to share these long, longer videos, you know? Mm-hmm. Instagram is so short, and now we have like 62nd videos, but we've trained people on Instagram to have such an incredibly short, like, Why did I just lose that word?

Attention span. Yeah. So they, they're like, see, I can't even, I don't even have the attention span to know the words, but everybody's attention span is so short. Mm-hmm. And so in, or YouTube is such a long form to talk with people to share stories. Mm-hmm. And so I really wanna be on there more cuz I miss those [00:10:00] long version experiences mm-hmm.

That people got with blogs, but people don't look. At o'clock? Yeah, at my blog quite as often as they used to in the past, and so I'm excited to just do something a little bit different. Do you still have your podcast? Are you still recording that regularly? You know, I thought I, it is something I've struggled with, with having a newborn baby.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And finding the time to do that while doing YouTube videos and now reels cuz reels is like the whole new thing on Instagram. Yeah. Mm-hmm. That's how anybody sees you. And so doing reels and then YouTube videos I feel like takes all of my time. So I'll put a, a podcast. On my to-do list and then it just keeps getting pushed back.

Mm-hmm. And pushed back. And so I want to continue to do that. I, it just has become the last thing on my list cuz I can't find the time yet. I know it's so hard. And that's something I hope we can dive into too. It's like, I. Once a kiddo comes into the picture, it's like your time. That and, and none of this is like [00:11:00] a judgment or like a negative thing.

It's just the realization that like your time is not all your own. And even when you have the best laid plans, childcare can fall through or your kiddo needs you more that day than they did the day before. And so things are constantly shifting. And it's for someone like me, because I do identify, so we both know Cassie and.

Both love her and I get to, luckily I get to work with her every single week and she is this like incredible visionary and she's always got big, exciting things and I love that about her. But I'm also one of the people that's like, I'm just gonna do day by day. And then over time something like, something big usually ends up happening.

You, you work towards this vision that kind of unfolds as you're going. It sounds like that's, we're very similar in that. And so, do you know your Ingram number? Sorry, I'm all over the place, but I'm curious, do you know your Ingram number? I. Believe I'm an eight. Okay. I think I'm an eight. It's like an eight or a two.

Yes, because they're connected. So you just had to figure out where your like home [00:12:00] space is hugely into the Ingram over here, but I know Cassie is a seven and it's very much that like big picture visionary, whereas like an eight and a two I think to some degree. It's definitely much more like we're tasked, like we're, we've got our list, we're gonna just do the next thing.

Yeah. That's on our list and see what happens. Yeah. Do you know your human design? Yes, I am a manifesting generator. Okay, that makes sense. For sure. Yeah. I'm very task oriented. Mm-hmm. I need a list, like I have a team with, especially with my YouTube stuff, and they say, Hey, we need three videos by then.

Mm-hmm This time we need this by this. And having a timeline and someone saying, you need to turn this in by then. Like it lights a fire under my ass. Mm-hmm. Cause I don't wanna disappoint anybody. Totally, totally. I feel the same way. And I think it's also kind of helpful in that regard, like when you do have kiddos and you've got a task you can, or a task list with some, like to do dates or whatever, like it can help you prioritize what, what needs to get [00:13:00] done and kind of let go.

The things, you know, like the podcast, it's like no one's totally, no one's got that expectation except for you. Right. And so, If you're not having to uphold that to anyone but yourself, then it's easier to kind of let go. So anyways, I think all the like Enneagram and the like manifesting generator and all that stuff is so fascinating too as a tool to kind of help us like just learn where human design is crazy.

It's so crazy and very, very complicated, but I love it. Yeah, take, sign me up for all the personality tests. Yeah, I actually got the human design reading done for Avery after she was born. Oh. So I could just dig into her a little bit more. Yes. And like understand, I mean even she went into digestion the best way for Avery to digest food, like the situation and on like ambiance she should be in when she eats.

It was just so fast. Oh my gosh. That is to learn that. So cool. Is she a manifesting? Manifesting generator? Two. Or Suki is a projector. Oh. Oh, wow. That's unique, right? I feel like, I don't know a ton, but I feel like it's not [00:14:00] quite as common as like a generator. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So cool. That's so cool.

I know our kids are, so my husband is a manifesting generator. I'm a generator. And then our kids are one of each, I can't remember at this moment, but I did the same, I, I didn't get like a reading done, but just kind of plugged them in and it just makes so much sense. I don't know, I just, yes. I, I love that tool.

Okay. Totally getting off topic here. I'm sure we could talk about that all day, but do you, are you ready to kind of dive into the meat and bones of this? Love it. Let's do it. Okay. Let's do it. So three years ago we had you on and you. At that point, you were very, you felt, I feel like you were fairly confident in your decision to not have kiddos.

And obviously Avery's here, she's beautiful and wonderful, and you're rocking motherhood. I've been just watching you and cheering you on silently from, you know, the Instagram sidelines. But when did you kind of feel like. That decision you, you started to kind [00:15:00] of maybe question that or start to think that maybe you wanted to start having, having that discussion about changing your mind, like was there a moment, was it slowly over time?

What did that look like? Okay. This is so funny because, uh, it's such an incredible timing because we had our call in August. I don't know what the date was, but at the end of August I went to Bali with my husband. Mm-hmm. And our girlfriend and our, my girlfriend was in Bali already and she had done a birth chart reading and she was like, Hey, I think it'll be fun.

To do a birth chart reading, like buy one for you and Brian, would you be open to it? And I was not into spirituality stuff at all. And I was like, yeah, what? Like who cares? I don't care. I don't even know what a birth chart reading is. And so we did it and Brian is a Capricorn, so he was just like, I. This is wild.

Like no, I don't believe in this at all. And me, I'm a little bit more, I'm a taris, but I'm a little bit more of a free spirit. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, yeah, cool. Like I don't know [00:16:00] anything is possible. Mm-hmm. Like there is our understanding of the world is so small compared to what. The world, the universe.

Mm-hmm. Actually is, you know? Mm-hmm. We don't know anything. Mm-hmm. Like all we know is what we know. So I had this birth chart reading and immediately as she started this birth chart reading, it was in person at this little cafe in Bali, and immediate sh immediately she was like, mm. I'm not sure what your plan is with children, but I would be careful because it's showing an unexpected pregnancy in your future.

Oh, I just got chill. Like, Yeah. I was like, no, no, absolutely not. Yeah. And I had just gotten off of birth control too, because I just didn't wanna be on birth control anymore. Mm-hmm. And so I was like, oh shit. Like, like how soon? And she was like, well, it's not showing for another two years. But I would just be careful if that's not your intention.

And as she got into this, She explained more. She was like, I mean, you're meant to be a mom like that, that is what you are meant to be. [00:17:00] And maybe that doesn't feel right, but it's just, it's part of who you are. And I was like, whoa. My, my head was just spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning. I couldn't believe it.

I just thought about it the entire trip and it made me sit and think like, It. Could this be part of our future, like mm-hmm. Am I supposed to be a mom? Mm-hmm. Like am I supposed to have a child in my life? And it just made me think about it so differently. And it was crazy cuz in the chart, Brian goes, well, can you see if it's a boy or a girl?

And she goes, oh yeah, it's a girl. And so, no. Yeah, no. Oh yeah, my gosh. She was like, no question in her head. She was like, oh yeah, it's girl. And so I had talked to this birth chart reader. This, I don't know what you even call her, but I kept in contact with her. I met, even met her in Colorado when she came out here once.

But we've kept in contact and she sends me [00:18:00] birth chart readings monthly as well. Mm-hmm. Or every new season kind of. Mm. Mm-hmm. So I've stayed in touch with her and then, As I kind of was like, maybe this is part of my plan. I just kind of put it at the back of my mind, but I also started looking into spirituality more because this was like such a life altering thing.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Not only did she say this about having a child, but she had so many perfect. Things about me. Like she was like, do you work in food? And she didn't have my name beforehand. Mm-hmm. Like she knew nothing about me. She was in Bali. She was like, do you work in food? Do you publish anything about food?

She's like, if you don't, you should. Like, this is where you're supposed to be. Wow. And. She had things about me and my relationship with my family. It was just stuff she could have never known, especially being in Bali. Mm-hmm. And not knowing my name. Mm-hmm. And so I started getting more into spirituality.

I started meditating more. I started doing different [00:19:00] readings all over the place, and I just started following different accounts that made me feel like there was something. Outside of myself. Mm-hmm. As a person who never understood religion, I really tried to be religious growing up. Mm-hmm. And never connected with me.

I felt like there was something more, obviously outside of this, but I didn't connect with like going to church and being mm-hmm. Read the Bible. I connected with a higher source that. I, it's so hard to explain. Mm-hmm. Cuz I don't feel like I see myself as a specific type of religion mm-hmm. Or spirituality or anything like that.

But I do believe that all of us are connected and a much deeper level than this. Mm-hmm. And following these accounts just made me feel. More love towards the world around me and more optimistic. Mm-hmm. And more excited for what's here in our future, but what's after this as well. Mm-hmm. And [00:20:00] then I started talking to Brian A.

Little bit more about this. I was like, do you, could you see yourself having kids? Because he always saw himself having kids. But when he married me, it was like, okay, well that's off the table. Mm-hmm. So let's just create a life that we love. And that's what we had done. And so when I brought it up to him, he was like, well, Like, we have a good life, so do, do we really want to do that.

But he was always just like, okay, whatever you wanna do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's the most supportive partner and so prob we started kind of trying probably right before I. The 2020 world spin, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Before everything hit in 2020. And then once the lockdown happened and Covid was spreading, we were like, no.

Mm-hmm. We're not doing this. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like the last thing I wanna do is get pregnant and have to go to a hospital right now. Right. And so we kind of stopped, but we weren't using protection. Mm-hmm. I just wasn't tracking my ovulation, but I kind of knew when it was just from [00:21:00] tracking it before. And so we didn't get pregnant from, for like, A year and a half, more than year and a half.

And so we just thought it wasn't going to happen for us. Mm-hmm. It was almost two years and it was like, okay, well if this doesn't happen naturally, we don't want to do I vf. Mm-hmm. That's just, we didn't feel like we wanted to do that and this was just our path. Mm-hmm. And we had just like kind of forgotten about it and I decided to go to a fertility acupuncturist cuz I was like, well let me just try this cuz I haven't gotten pregnant.

I only wanna do like, Uh, quote unquote organic ways. Mm-hmm. Or just like different functional medicine type of ways. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so, or alternative, or. You know Eastern medicine? Yes. So I did fertility, acupuncture, and I don't think it really had to do with it, but literally next week I was pregnant.

Because you don't think it had to do with it, but, well, I, I had obviously gotten pregnant before then [00:22:00] because Okay, gotcha. The week after my fertility Accu Acupuncture appointment. I didn't have my period for a few days, but my period the month before was 14 days long. Mm-hmm. So I was like, okay, who knows if I'm gonna have a period at the exact same time.

Right. Cuz my period's been kind of weird. And the main thing. That set me off. I was like, something's weird is I had two days of insomnia. I woke up at two in the morning, couldn't sleep wide awake, and I never have that. I always sleep through the night. And so since I didn't have my period and this happened, I was like, I'm gonna take a test.

And it was positive. Oh. So what was that initial like moment when you were like staring down? Did you, were you alone? What were you like? Yeah, it was like an oh shit moment or were you like, yes, this is like, tell me if you feel comfortable. It was, I mean, I expected it to say not pregnant. Like I, I had taken pregnancy tests in the past and I'd always say not pregnant.[00:23:00]

And so I. I like put, you know, peed on the sticks, set it on top of the toilet, and then went about my business of like brushing my teeth and just like getting ready. And I didn't even tell Brian I was taking it because I had just taken a shower and I was like, well, I should just like do this anyways. So I didn't tell Brian I was even taking it.

And so I went back in the, like the toilet area and I was like, Oh my God. And I just like sat there and stared at it because it was so unexpected. Mm-hmm. And this like goes back to the pregnancy being unexpected said by the birth chart reader. Yeah. She was like, it'll be an unexpected pregnancy. It was so unexpected cuz I did not.

See that happening at all. And so I called Dan to Brian. I was like, Brian, I need you to come upstairs. And he was like, oh shit. What did I do? Like he was so like nervous. He did something and he walks in the bathroom, I'm like, check out the counter. And he looks at the test and we just sit there. No excitement, no like jumping up and down.

We just sit there staring at the test like. What, [00:24:00] what just happened? What do we do now? Oh, he looks at me and he goes, do you need to go to the doctor? I don't know what we do. I'm like, I don't know, man. I literally don't know. And we called my sister-in-law immediately I FaceTimed her. I was like, we have to call Kara.

And I FaceTimed her and showed her the test and. It was just such utter shock, like I wish we had like an excited moment, but it was such shock. Hello, friends, Laura here popping in real quick to rave about my current favorite product from Paleo Valley. Have you tried their whey protein yet? Not only are they absolutely delicious, And deeply nourishing, but bonus points because they also have colostrum, which heals repairs and gives our bodies the extra boosts we need for motherhood work, working out all the things.

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It was crazy because we just kinda expected it never to happen in us to just like continue living our lives and then, yeah, it was just wild. Did you share, like when you got back from Bali and like were questioning, like did you ever share the questioning phase or even like when you finally decided like, Hey, we're gonna try and do this, did you share that with your friends and family or was that something that you kind of kept to y to, to yourselves?

Yeah. We did share that we shared with a friends and family. And then funny [00:26:00] enough, I shared that on social media because we weren't getting pregnant and something I w I just felt like I. I, it just felt right to me to share it. Mm-hmm. That we were trying to get pregnant and to put that out into the universe to get that energy back towards us.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. To not keep this as a secret. And it was the same thing when I found out I was pregnant. You know, I was probably four weeks pregnant when I found out, and I shared that weekend. So I was about five weeks pregnant when I shared on social media that I was pregnant because I couldn't imagine not.

Telling everybody. Mm-hmm. Of like this life-changing crazy experience. Mm-hmm. That starts from so early on. I couldn't imagine waiting for 12 weeks and I wanted to tell everyone and get that positive energy coming back to me mm-hmm. During those 12 weeks that are so scary for so many people. Absolutely.

I feel like, I mean, that's always like such a per personal decision, like based on your experience and. [00:27:00] You know, I feel like it can be, you know, heaven forbid something had happened or whatever. It can be a source of comfort if you feel like you have like people in your corner just, you know, with you, you know, like that energy with you.

Did you have, of course, your account Paleo Mg you had shared? I'm sh I mean, you share very generously your personal life and your personal thoughts, you know, just constantly, but, and your people knew that you had kind of like decided. You know, we're not, we're not doing the kid thing. Was there any backlash that you didn't expect when you shared that you were pregnant and like gonna do this thing?

God, I'm trying to think back to then, because when I shared I was pregnant, I mean the support was incredible. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But then you, you get too much overwhelming. Mm-hmm. Stuff. Mm-hmm. I mean, people are recommending everything. And I was struggling so much with pregnancy that I like turned my messages off.

Mm-hmm. So people who would [00:28:00] normally reach out with any negativity, they, I, they weren't able to get through. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I didn't really hear any of that, and I'm really good at blocking out that noise these days. Mm-hmm. Like when I hear something negative, I'm just like, Okay. That changes nothing about my life and I just move on with my day.

So I don't remember getting any negativity. I think it was all pretty positive. That's great. Even great, even from people who, you know, don't plan to not have kids. Mm-hmm. And they followed me for that reason. I think they were. Happy to see that transformation and that change and be supportive of that.

Yeah, that's incredible. Especially with such, I mean such a large account, you know, it feels like those naysayers and the negative voices can be very overwhelming, but that's such a testament to like your actual community if that. There was very little of that and so much support. I feel like that's incredible and I just have to give you kudos because sometimes you'll share.

Comments that are made, like when you do open up a [00:29:00] question box or something and it is, I just am sometimes astonished at what people feel entitled to say on the internet to, to like essentially strangers. And it, it is, I feel like the parenting culture of today where it's like, You have this village, but it's not always like a supportive village.

Sometimes there's a lot of like guilt and shame around like parenting decisions that are not maybe. Traditional or viewed as non-traditional, and you just navigate it so well. I don't navigate it well. I take a lot of things like personally, it takes me a long time to work through negative feedback. But you do it so well.

I mean, honestly, like, just kudos to you. How, how, tell me your secret. I, I, I think when people are negative, when they lash out in any capacity, that is coming from an insecurity in them. Mm-hmm. And I think a lot of insecurity. Comes around parenthood. Mm-hmm. [00:30:00] Because as a parent, you wanna get it right?

Mm-hmm. You wanna do the best by your child. You wanna improve what you experienced as a child, even if you had a great childhood, you wanna even do better than those parents, than your parents before. And when someone is doing something different than you, it makes you question. Or makes you feel insecure.

Mm-hmm. About your own decisions. And so instead of people working through that, they lash out. Mm-hmm. And that's what I saw as soon as I got pregnant and shared anything. I mean, as soon as I shared how I planned to give birth, I immediately had lashback and I was like, oh, like I had no idea that people were so opinionated mm-hmm.

About how someone else gave birth. Mm-hmm. And. I saw that a lot in how I gave, how I planned to give birth, the foods that I decided to eat while pregnant. Mm-hmm. And why the research I did, I got a [00:31:00] lot of pushback from that. And that is due to mom's. Because it was moms, it was never dads. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It was moms wanting to do the best for themselves and their children.

And when a person did something different than them, it made them feel like they didn't maybe. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And instead of working through those feelings, they were just angry with me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that's why I turned off messages. But I come from a place of, I think empathy for people who lash out and feel angry because I've been in those positions.

Mm-hmm. And I've talked shit about somebody who decided to live their life a certain way because it made me feel less than. Mm-hmm. And so I just have a, I think a lot of sympathy or empathy for them. Instead of feeling angry like I have in the past, oh my gosh. I think we could all learn from that in situations like pausing and thinking, like, why am I reacting this way to someone on the internet who's sharing their, their story, right?

Yeah. Like their decisions that they've made. And it's always so helpful to just pause and be like, you know, this [00:32:00] has nothing, this has nothing to do with me. Really, at the end of the day, like it may feel like that in the moment. Wise words, Julie. You are. Yeah. Keeping that. I feel like just keeping that attitude with everything as Avery grows and parenting, you know, seasons become different.

It's gonna serve you really well. I'm super excited for you. I know. So it's going to, for sure. It's hard. It's really hard, but, okay, so let's talk about pregnancy, because I know. You, I, I know you shared like lots of feelings around body changes and anticipation of like what to expect. And I know that pregnancy, you had some of your own struggles with insomnia and food stuff.

Can you tell us about it? What, what was it like, what were your favorite things about it and what were the things that were just like kicking. Kicking your butt. Oh, I hated pregnancy. It is, it blows my mind that people enjoy pregnancy and my best friend was pregnant at the same time I was, and she loved it.

Like [00:33:00] she, so she's like, most days I forget, I'm pregnant. And I'm like, what the hell? Like I feel like dog shit. Every day I wake up and every night that I go to bed all throughout the day, like there was never a time that I was like, I feel amazing. Like I definitely. It was interesting because the first and second trimester were just terrible and then the third trimester actually got better.

Mm. And that was my best experience. Literally like the last week of pregnancy was probably my best week of pregnancy. And that's when most people are like, blow my gosh, I'm over this. Yes. I was so surprised cuz everybody was like, the beginning and the end is so hard. And I was like, I thought the beginning, middle and almost the end was so hard, but the end was like, Okay, I can continue to do this.

Mm-hmm. I just don't wanna do it anymore. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But it was very challenging for me. I had incredibly bad sciatica. I had an awful insomnia where I would sleep from like nine to 11 and then I would be up the rest of the night. Oh my God. And that [00:34:00] improved, thankfully over time. And by the third trimester, I could sleep again, but it, the insomnia was breaking me where I was.

So, Sleep deprived and depressed that I was like, I, I don't wanna do this anymore. Mm-hmm. Like, I can't physically do this anymore. It was so, it was breaking me because if you haven't had a child yet and you don't know how incredible it is, it's so hard to understand that it's worth it. Mm-hmm. And like, even though you know it's going to be worth it, it's really hard to comprehend that because you're so miserable.

Mm-hmm. And so I was, Spending so much money on any self-care, like I saw the chiropractor twice a week because my, I could barely walk from the sciatica. I was seeing a massage therapist. I was seeing my acupuncturist, I was seeing PTs. It was just like anything I could do to physically stand and continue to move, and then, I was normal, I think throwing up.

I was, but I was throwing up into my second trimester where it would [00:35:00] just be like I'd eat something and then have to run to the bathroom and throw up. But, I think what was probably the most challenging part is we, not long after I found out I was pregnant, my dog became paralyzed. Mm-hmm. And so he had to go into emergency surgery, and then he was seeing a physical therapist twice a week.

And so since he was paralyzed on his back legs, he couldn't express his own bladder, so we had to express his bladder for him and his stool. Mm. And so, I would be in the bathtub because it was winter here, so I'd be in the bathtub expressing his bladder, not knowing what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. Because I'm not a veterinarian.

Mm-hmm. We're expressing his bladder and then I have to jump out and go puke in the toilet and so, mm-hmm. It was just this very. Emotionally awful time in life where pregnancy was so hard. We had a dog who was dying and who was so depressed and miserable and couldn't walk, and our whole life changed for that.

And so it [00:36:00] was just a very awful time in life. And by the end it was like, okay, things are much better. And then luckily, birth was fantastic, but. It was very hard and I think maybe, hopefully it set me up for some success in the newborn. Mm-hmm. And postpartum stage. Mm-hmm. Because the pregnancy was so awful that postpartums felt like a fricking breeze.

Well, and I know you had shared, you were like, I know people talk about the lack of sleep, like in the newborn phase, but you were like, I'm getting more sleep than I, than I was before. Which hundred percent sleep changes? Everything, I mean everything. Being able to get a decent, I mean, it doesn't even have to be like a full eight, seven, whatever hours, like just a chunk of solid sleep.

You feel like a new person and I'm sure that like that allows you, like even if it's still a challenging day. Like, even just a little bit of sleep allows you to approach it with like a whole different mindset. I, I know 100% sleep is [00:37:00] everything. It really is. You sleep deprivation in, you know, war tactics.

Yes. For a reason. Like it is f up. I feel you. I feel you. What were your, what was your favorite part about pregnancy? I know most of it was very challenging, but was there anything that you really like? Loved or look back and think like, man, that wasn't, maybe that wasn't, that wasn't so bad. That part was cool.

No, Jess. No, I don't think that at all. Like mine is such vanity. My lips looked great cuz they were huge from like all the fluid and my skin like in postpartum. It's been great too. Like my skin was clear, all of pregnancy and it has in the part postpartum stage as well. So it's like complete vanity stuff.

It's never like, I did not enjoy kicks, feeling kicks like it felt like I was on a rollercoaster. She kicked from morning until night, and then usually at night she would actually not kick, but she kicked so much, like I felt like I was gonna throw up all day long from the kicks. And she had the hiccups every day, [00:38:00] multiple times a day.

I. Hated those things and my friends are like, oh my God, you're gonna miss them when you, they're gone. I'm like, no, I do not miss that. I love having my child here kicking her feet on the outside. So what were some like things that saved your life during pregnancy? I know you shared it was so funny. The other day, people were like, or someone submitted a question, they were like, people don't wanna hear about your constipation medication.

Oh my God. Yes. And you're like, actually people do wanna hear about it. Actually, it's the question I get like 45 times in a q and a box, like, Pregnant women or just people with constipation want to know about that? So the question was like, what was lifesaving? Kinda, yeah. What were it? Could it be a product or like a service?

You know, you did all, all the acupuncture or whatever, like what was saving your life? Yeah. What got you through? Okay, so the constipation pills, a global healing oxy powder. It's just magnesium, I think, citrate. Mm-hmm. And it's like oxygenated. And I [00:39:00] used it postpartum too. Lifesaving because I was so bloated.

Mm-hmm. In the early. Pregnancy, like I looked like I was six months pregnant at. Well, a month it was. Mm-hmm. I was so bloated. Mm-hmm. That's rough. So rough. I also truly believe in the chiropractic during pregnancy to really help, especially with a Webster technique. That's for pregnancy. Mm-hmm. But getting your baby in the best place possible for birth.

And then I also did Mya abdominal uterine massage. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And. Sh. That's all about getting the baby or your uterus lined up with your cervix. So when your cervix opens and a faces, then your uterus is in the right place and it doesn't have to move as your baby's head shifts into place and you know your baby does that turn.

And so I swear by that. And then I swear by acupuncture, like you said, I went in, I. Saw her at the beginning of pregnancy, [00:40:00] kind of in the middle, and then at the end when I was about 35 weeks, she started helping with a facing my cervix. Mm-hmm. And then towards the end, at 38 weeks, then we started working with some ways to just hopefully get the progress going, but.

I don't think anything really helped me. I was a few days after my due date, but I think the basement and dilating my cervix, it really helped cuz I went in and I was pretty much good to go as soon as I got to the birth center. Amazing. Okay. Thank you for those. I'm sure people are gonna be writing those down.

We want those. Yeah. The constipation tips. Okay. News flash to that. Yes. Yes. People are constipated just like we all, they don't have to be different phases. They don't have to be like, people wanna know what it is. So that was such a funny Oh, that's amazing response. I know. Okay, and so we're rounding out cuz I wanna hear.

How, how did you approach birth? What was your mindset around that? We got a couple listener questions. I'm gonna kind of fold into this, this last bit. How did you incorporate, like your mindset work and did [00:41:00] you have like a quote unquote birth plan? You know, how did you kind of approach that whole process of birth and what was it like for you?

Well, I knew immediately I did not wanna give birth at a hospital. I have had bad experiences with the hospital, and when I go into a hospital, I close up, I tighten up, I tense up. Mm-hmm. And so I did not wanna give birth there, but I didn't wanna give birth at home, just it being my first birth. And so I found out about a birth center and birth center.

This birth center was next door. It's like, In relationship with the hospital, but it's separate from the hospital. Mm-hmm. So if anything goes wrong, you're transferred to the hospital, you know, loss of blood. If something's going on with the baby, they can transfer you really easily and quickly. Mm-hmm. So I felt really comfortable with that just in case anything happened, but.

I had a really positive mindset with birth. I was not scared of it. I knew that for the history of time women had given birth, and yes, there are complications in birth all the time, but I started doing [00:42:00] research about. C-sections and C-section rates at hospitals near me. And I did not feel comfortable with the C-section rates at hospitals around us.

And so I wanted to give birth at a birth center where I had midwives and nurses instead of doctors who were more so trained in C-section and surgery. And I wanted to have a support system around like a doula. And so I didn't fear birth whatsoever. I knew it was. Something that I was capable of, and if anything happened, I was comfortable in that knowing that everything would be fine and we would transfer and it'd be okay.

But I wanted to give birth at a birth center where I felt advocated for and I felt like I could advocate for myself. Mm-hmm. And so I. Took all these classes at the birth center. The birth center that I went to, you had to take a ton of different classes to be able to give birth there, you and your partner.

And so we went to weekly or biweekly classes, and then they were weekly towards the end of pregnancy. [00:43:00] And I got myself a doula and I felt ready to go for birth. I had no fears around it whatsoever. I just was ready, honestly. That's amazing. Hey there friends. Pausing this episode to share a bit about our wonderful friend Brianna White, a fantastic real estate agent based in Bend, Oregon.

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That's B R E A N a sells [00:45:00] bend.kw.com. Brought to you by Brianna White Broker with Keller Williams Realty, central Oregon Equal Housing Opportunity. Now let's dive back into our episode. You said it was fairly smooth. Avery came earth side and yeah. Now you're a mom. How has motherhood been like, how have you been able to, you know, again, watch you on Instagram and have kind of seen this unfold, but what has it been like?

What has been your favorite things most cha? You know, kind of same with pregnancy. Favorite things, most challenging things, and how do you really. Bring, continue to try and bring that positivity and joy and optimism that you have to this whole experience of motherhood, because it's not always easy. No.

God, no. I mean, in birth, I talked to Avery throughout birth. I was, I gave birth on a tub and I talked to her and I said, Hey, I'm here for you. I'm cheering you on. You're gonna do amazing. You're doing great. I'm so proud of you. Like I talked, To her throughout my birth because we were in this together. And that's what I think about [00:46:00] now.

Like we are in this together and times are going to be really hard, and then times are gonna be really great. And I think that's what you hear from parents all the time. Mm-hmm. But postpartum was really incredible. I think the oxytocin high that I had from birth just lasted forever. Mm-hmm. Like it just lasted for so long.

I was smiling ear to ear for months. And it, it's just been. Really incredible. Really hard too, because before Avery, I worked from morning till night. Mm-hmm. And now I don't do that anymore. And so I was able to get so much done before and then it was figuring out how do I even get one thing done today?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. When I'm breastfeeding and I'm trying to balance some sort of work. Emailing people back or getting a YouTube video shot or working with a brand, it's very challenging. Mm-hmm. To figure that out. Mm-hmm. So that part has been really hard of just [00:47:00] not having any consistency. Babies obviously mm-hmm.

Are not consistent in any capacity. I mean, babies, some babies are like, my baby is not. And so some days we'll get a three hour nap, and then the next day we get a 20 minute nap. Mm-hmm. And we just never know what we're gonna get. So that transition of. Feeling anxiety when she goes down for a nap because mm-hmm.

Now she's like kind of in the schedule of napping a little bit better, meaning like she goes down without screaming, bloody freaking murder, like we're trying to kill her. But I didn't have so much anxiety putting her down because I didn't know how she'd react. And then when she went down, finally it was like, how fast can I work to get everything done?

Mm-hmm. How can I. Manage this. I have, like today, I haven't even brushed my teeth yet, and it's almost 11. Like I'm trying to get as much done, get my workout done, get my breakfast in, take care of myself and self care, while also balancing work. And it was so hard and the anxiety [00:48:00] was really intense, but it's come back down.

We have a nanny now three days a week. Most of the time our nanny was finally able to work more for us. So that has been life changing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But it was. So amazing and then full of anxiety, and now it's amazing. Like we just went through the four month sleep progression. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that was so, so draining and so challenging, but, Man having, I have Brian, who is an incredible partner and he has been so hands-on mm-hmm.

And helpful through all of this and I'm so grateful for that cuz we're in this together and mm-hmm. That has been so helpful. But through all of this jargon that I just spewed out, it has been awesome. It has been hard. I have cried many days I've. Loved every second of it while really hating other moments of it at the same time.

It's, I think it is just parenthood. That is, that is, I mean that is so true. And it's so hard too [00:49:00]because I'm so glad that you share in all of this, even with pregnancy. Like you shared that like, it was really hard for you and I, cuz I think there's this expectation for parents, mothers, especially to love every single moment of pregnancy or motherhood and, and it feels like, When you don't have an experience that kind of matches up with what people expect you to like, talk about, like it was all so beautiful.

And yes, it's beautiful. The process of creating a life and deliver like, you know, delivery and, and motherhood is beautiful. And we talk about on the podcast all the time like, Two things can be true, right? It can be beautiful, but it can also be really, really hard. And it can be like you can be laughing and crying, happy tears one moment, and then literally the next moment be like, oh my God, like this.

Like crying, sad tears of sadness because it's like all intermixed. And I think motherhood is truly that experience of [00:50:00] like extreme joy and happiness. With your child. And then extreme, like, for me at least, it's like extreme anxiety and like, oh my god, my, this, my heart. Like, my literally, like my heart is outside my chest.

Yeah. Walking around the world for people to see like, you know, like it could be harmed now. Like, you know, there's all these like coexisting emotions and I'm so glad that you talk about all of them. And again, it's like you're just, I'm not like, I feel like I have to defend you and I don't have to defend you, but like anytime someone shares their truth and it may not.

Mirror the like sentiment that we feel like we should have. I just wanna like defend them because it's like this is someone's real story in their experience and it's real and it's valid and just because someone else thinks differently or would've chosen a different birth plan or whatever, like would sleep train, or wouldn't sleep train or all of those things.

It's like there's space for all of it to exist and people can still be [00:51:00] amazing. Parents or mothers, even if they choose a different way than you, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's my soapbox. Yeah. Yeah. I, I wish people would recognize that and I think many do. Mm-hmm. But I think the people who are attacking other people online, it's, they need to really look and understand that we're all living life in our own experience, and that's, That's so crazy that mm-hmm.

Me and Brian are experiencing one child, but we're experiencing raising a child in a completely different way. Mm-hmm. Even though we're in this together, like we all experience life so different. Mm-hmm. And what triggers us might not trigger another person. Mm-hmm. And so I think we need to remember, That and remind ourselves of that and know that we are not a failure just because someone is doing something different than us.

Mm-hmm. Like we are all succeeding in our own way. As long as we're putting in work and trying to be better people and raise good children, like we're all doing great, no matter what that looks like. Mm-hmm. [00:52:00] Yeah, absolutely. Someone, anytime I get like freaked out or I'm like stressed out about something, my friends will remind me.

Like the fact that you're like thinking about this or you're worried about it, like means that you like care. Right? And that's like at the end of the day, if we care enough to like. Think about our children and try and, you know, give them the best life. Like, we're doing a, we're doing a pretty okay job, so, yeah.

I hope so. Pat, pat on the back. I hope so. To wrap it up, you know what, and we got a couple listener questions toward this too, but what, what would be, do you have any advice to anyone who maybe currently feels like they don't want children or is unsure? And then kind of wrapping in this listener question was like, is there a way.

To encourage your, like friends who have chosen not to have kids, that there's actually joy in having it, or is that just something they have to come to on their own? Well, and I don't know if they, they need to come to that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like if they don't, I have many friends [00:53:00] who don't plan to have children and.

I completely understand that. Mm-hmm. Like I had an amazing life before Avery. Mm-hmm. And now I have amazing life with Avery. It just looks different. Mm-hmm. And you can have a fantastic life without children or with children. Mm-hmm. Like there is no right or wrong way. So to that person who you know, is there a way to encourage them?

I don't think you need to encourage them. Mm-hmm. I think you need to be supportive of the life that they have chose to live for themselves. Just like we were talking like mm-hmm. Everybody is going to live a life that looks different to the other person. Mm-hmm. And that is a really cool thing. And I think you can learn a lot from your friends who don't have children just as they can learn from you.

And I think when we do have children, we. Connect with other parents because as a parent, you know what that person is going through. Mm-hmm. When I think of my friends who had children before I did, I had no idea what the first few months of having a child is like for [00:54:00] the first time, and how overwhelming and challenging and scary it can be.

I had no idea. Mm-hmm. And so, It. I think we connect with parents when you become a parent, because then that parent knows what you're going through and they have that empathy. Mm-hmm. That. Uh, your friend who doesn't have kids, may not have, but that doesn't mean that you can't learn a ton from your friends.

Mm-hmm. And live vicariously through them if they're, you know, they decide to not have kids and they're, you know, redoing their entire house or going on incredible vacations that. You can't really do at the moment, maybe financially or because the kids are in school or whatever else, you get to live vicariously through them and celebrate the life that they have chose for themselves.

Mm-hmm. So I don't think you need to encourage them if they're questioning it and have questions for you, you can share how amazing it is and not scare them and say it the shitty part, you know, as many people told me and [00:55:00] why I was so scared for so long. Mm-hmm. But I think it's just supporting. Your friends in whatever choices they have made for children or without them?

Absolutely. I think, you know, we apply it, you can apply that to any situation. It's like people are choosing their own path and all you can do is share your story and share answer questions and support them in whatever they choose. I feel like that's not just applicable to like, choosing to have children or not.

It's like just, I mean, it's just a, a nice way to live your life in general. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, ha not having children is awesome too, right? Like right. We did so much fun stuff and now it's like, okay man, how do we afford to do that fun stuff or the time or, you know, there's so many more moving parts once you have children.

Mm-hmm. Having, not having children is just as awesome too. Absolutely. I have a very good friend, not to go on a tangent, but she has chosen not to have kiddos, but she loves kids. It's like there's also this stigma that's like, If you don't want kid, like children [00:56:00] of your own, like then you must not be into kids.

And maybe that's true in some instances, but like, she loves being like a quote unquote aunt and she loves like, you know, providing like, she's like, I get to provide lavish gifts to all my like kids friends and you know, I'm lucky to have a friend like this, but she's like, I'll babysit. Like she loves that aspect of it, but she just doesn't want to like have that full-time responsibility of kiddos.

And that's. Really cool. Yeah. Yeah, my, that's my sister-in-law too. She loves kids and loves being an aunt, but just doesn't plan to have kids and yeah, we get to live vicariously through her and amazing whatever she gets to do. Amazing. Well, Julie, thank you so much. This was incredible. I'm so just so encouraged by you, and again, going back to this broader con conversation and topic around like changing your mind, I think.

Sharing the process that what that looked like for you? I think not just in regards to parenthood. This can encourage a lot of people like. With any major life decision, like you have the space [00:57:00]and the ability and the capacity to change your mind if that's how life your life unfolds. And I just think that's really cool because I think oftentimes we like hold on to some decisions within our life with like this iron fist, like this is who I am and this is who I'm going to be.

And then we kind of close off the idea that like things could change or you know, other things could happen in our life that make us, you know, maybe make a different decision. And I think that's, Just encouraging in all aspects of life, and I'm so grateful for you, friend. You're doing amazing work and just love watching you be a mom.

Thank you. I think it's so important to. Be comfortable with you changing your mind. I mean, that goes down to diet and exercise in everything else that I've been about in the past. It's like you can change your mind on something that you felt so strongly about. I mean, I just recently got a tattoo fully removed that I felt very strongly about when I turned 21.

Mm-hmm. And then I change my mind on it. Mm-hmm. You can change [00:58:00] your mind and that is absolutely okay. You are not. Dummy or mm-hmm. Whatever you might feel for changing your mind or thinking a little bit different. You're just growing and evolving. Amazing. And on that note, thank you again. Where can we find you if people aren't already following you?

Where can we find you on the Innerwebs Friend? Come find me at Paleo mg on Instagram. You can check out my blog, my YouTube channel. Now they use little handles, so it's at Julie Bauer Roth and Julie is No Noe. And yeah, just come visit. I'll have my app coming out soon and I'll be sharing that on different, all the different social media platforms.

But come hang out and chat with me. Awesome. Thank you so much, friend. Yes, thank you guys. Thanks for being here. We'll talk to you listeners later. Bye mom. I dunno what to say. Thanks for listening to our podcast. See you next time. Thanks for listening to our podcast. [00:59:00] See you next time. Bye.