MMP Episode 312: Lighten the logistical load
In this catchup episode, Jess and Laura share life updates, summer plans, staying intentional about reducing the mental and logistical loads, and the continued power of pause in every season. We’re so grateful that you’re here to tune into our real talk, cathartic catching up, and motherhood musings.
As always this is just us sharing our own unique experiences and is in no way meant as a commentary on YOUR unique life - we hope you enjoy our story <3
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MMP Episode 312: Lighten the logistical load
Laura: [00:00:00] Hey friends, can't wait till Wednesdays to get your Modern Mamas fixed. Join us on Patreon. You can choose your tier, and when you subscribe, you'll get bonus content, early access to retreat First Peaks at New Swag, plus shoutouts and even realtime monthly virtual hangs with us. Visit
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Check it out and support the podcast. It truly means the world to us. We are so grateful for you and for this community. Hi.
Laura: Hi, friends. Welcome to the Modern Mamas Podcast. We are two modern mamas here to inspire empowerment, self-love, deep physical, and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds and joy. No matter your journey or perspective. I'm Laura of Radical Roots. I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and Mama to Evie Wilder and Indie Bow.
I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sourdough
Jess: [00:01:00] and mindful movement. And I'm Jess of Hold The Space Wellness. I'm a level one CrossFit trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with a Masters in Kinesiology and Mama Tobe and Camille. I love food trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.
Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes. Thanks for joining us. We're so happy you're here. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Modern Mamas Podcast, a Catch a Regular Schmegular.
While since they've said that I know, and we're here. We're here for it, and it's Thursday and. The sun is shining, and it's a good day. It's gonna be a good day. It's a good day. It's gonna be, it's gonna be
Laura: a good day.
You're welcome. We're, we're doing the thing. It's, it's been, it's been, it's been, it's
Jess: Ben, [00:02:00] it's been a week. Good
Laura: shifts. I just feel like I'm in this constant state of like, head spinning, changing, rearranging plans, sorting things out. It's just like a logistical. Overload right now. Mm-hmm. My brain
Jess: feels so tired.
So last week we kind of had like a catch up ish, but since last week has anything, what's like, what's on your plate? Well,
Laura: Rusty's gotten a lot more clarity on like, his, excuse me, for the, the allergy voice, but a lot more clarity on his like timeline and whatnot for fire. So he is gonna be taking the test, the pack test, three mile 50 pound pack test on June 16th, which we're very confident he will be able to pass.
He's feeling really good. He's passed it before he, he knows the logistics of it. And then we just got word about like, Basically from there, it's just like full speed ahead. I had originally planned a trip to California that was supposed to be there last week while he was away at the academy. And then there hasn't been [00:03:00] much word as far as I knew he had missed academy and it wasn't gonna be a thing.
But then two nights ago we had got the girls down flopped on the couch, just like, whoa, tired. And he's like, okay. So I got my dates and he leaves on Evie's birthday. Aw. And I had just spent a lot of time in energy planning her birthday party for the weekend after her birthday. Group. Group booked a picnic, like group site, planned everything, sent, invites, all of it.
But I'm like, she will be, she's already feeling a lot of feelings around him doing fire this season. Mm-hmm. Having done it two years ago, she knows what it's like. She knows how much he's gone. And then for him to not be at a birthday party, I just feel like it wouldn't go well. Mm-hmm. So it was up till like 10 o'clock, which for me is very late.
Too late to go. Just reorganizing, finding another, I couldn't find another group campsite this late notice. Oh, of course there's a, but I did, I found, uh, uh, one of the camp grounds near us where her school is actually, I found two sites next to each other on a Sunday. So now her birthday party's gonna be like 10 days before her actual birthday so that we can do it before he takes off and [00:04:00] not on Father's Day.
And so just been a lot of logistics there. And then like, okay, I booked flights to look like he's gonna be at Academy, so I'm gonna go down to California. But then I found out my, my best friend Nicole, is gonna be outta town that very same weekend. So, I canceled those flights and I'm just like, you know what?
I'm reminding myself of pause. I'm like trying. I'm looking at my summer calendar and there's so much going on. It's not a lot of. Like it's a lot of, just like I booked a random campsite here and I really, I remember doing that specifically saying out loud, I am booking campsite like every other week, or at least a couple of month, or at least once a month, so that we stayed local.
Mm-hmm. And it's working because I went to go like book for a weekend in July and they're like, oh wait, actually we had this campsite booked locally. And so I think everything in the universe, like for me, I'm continually like canceling social plans, canceling things, whoa, sorry. Canceling things that are stressful, canceling things that feel like too much and just like my body and mind and heart are telling me just to like slow the fuck down and continue to lean into pause.
Cause I get super [00:05:00] excited this time of year when the sun is out and, but like we've never spent a summer where we just stayed here. Mm-hmm. And we savored it. And so I have this flight credit. I will use it. I will get down there, but I'm just not in any rush, you know? Mm-hmm. This weekend we're, we planned on leaving for Bend tomorrow afternoon for Memorial Weekend, and again, rusty and I sat on the couch at the end of the day.
Last night, girls were down and we're like, Kind of just like rechecked in. He only has two weeks till he starts, you know? And the weather is incredible here, and we're tired and there's some uncertainty around my job. I'm feeling significantly more confident in coming on, hopefully per more permanently with CrossFit and that, um, in my next contract renewal.
But we just, we don't know for certain until like isn't irresponsible to drive down there. When we go, we eat a lot of the food. We stay with friends. So it's not as much as it might be, but just like, is this the right time to leave town for like four days? So we're just, we're really, it's funny coming off of last week's episode where we talked a lot about manifestation and like my main takeaway or point there was like [00:06:00] communication.
Mm-hmm. Communication. Communication. Because you can't set a manifestation or a goal or a plan and then just expect nothing to change cuz that's not life. And so, It's interesting cuz yesterday morning we were both like, oh my God, can't wait. Ben gonna be awesome. Making plans, texting my friend Emily. And then by the afternoon we were like, wait, let's, both of us, like at the same time we're like, let's reassess, we're tired.
There's a lot going on. There's so much locally that we could do without driving seven and a half hours each way. It's like, ah, to save like 16 plus hours of drive time. I'm driving down, they're coming up here the beginning of August and we're camping for five days. So I get to see them soon and then I'm driving down there solo with the girls.
And like towards the end of August. So I'm gonna get my time. So basically I was like, rusty, here's the thing. I will be so happy to go. I adore them. I adore Bend. I will also be very content to stay here. It's, it's supposed to be 70 degrees, it's 6:00 AM I'm looking out the window and it's beautiful. And we have like, so many things that we wanna do as a family locally.
So anyways, I, I think I'm gonna, it's sounding like [00:07:00] we're gonna stick around and I know our friends will understand. It's, it's hard, but we have to make sure that we're like checking in with. The family. I've also, in just two episodes, go talking about Evie processing a lot. All of us, I think, are still coming down from the stress of it, and my mo is to be like, to not sit in that and to, mm-hmm.
To like plan a trip and just be on the go and be on the move. But this past weekend, you know, I spent a lot of time just home with the girls. Like I, again, I canceled plans. We just, rusty was gone teaching his first post-op seminar in Tacoma, so I was alone with them. The weather was okay, not as great, and we just spent, I canceled two different social things and we just spent all more, both a big chunk of each day, just like in the garden, getting our planter beds ready, like transitioning our strawberries from one bed to the other, just laying low, cooking at home, going for walks.
We didn't even get in the car on Sunday, and it was so nice, but it was also kind of hard. It was hard for me because, [00:08:00] There was more space. Evie had moments of like big feelings that I couldn't understand, and I kept trying to like talk to her. Like, okay, let's sit, let's talk about it. What's going on? And then I had this moment and she'd just be like, I don't know.
And I'm like, wait a minute, Laura. Like she doesn't have to know. Mm-hmm. What exactly what's going on. And so just a lot of like highs and fun and joy and playing games and slowing down. And then also moments of like, this is really hard. Mm-hmm. Both girls are feeling big. I don't, I can't fix it. And just that reminder of like, I.
I don't have to fix it. Mm-hmm. Sometimes we just have to have space to slow down, pause and feel without necessarily having to like pinpoint what's wrong, work through it right there and there. Move on and back to fun, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So anyways, all that to say, I think we're gonna stay closer to home, do some of the things we love.
Maybe go to Finn River, spend some time in Port Townsend, go out to the lake. But not spend so many hours in the car. And that feels, it just feels right, especially now that like the next weekend I've got a little trip planned with my [00:09:00] friend Katie and the kids we're going out to stay at this cabin in the Olympic National Forest, which will be like a two hour drive.
And then the weekend after that, that's and the week after, that's Evie's last week of school. And then it's like Friday is her last day. We have an all school like fun potluck at the campground. And then Saturday I'm hosting a Sour to Workshop, and then Sunday is now her new birthday party. So it's just like there's a lot going on in the next two weeks.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then Rusty starts, so it's like, do we need to, should we add another like big. Drive and really full weekend to our plates. Do we want to, do I want to, yes. What I, but it's also kind of telling to me that like, I am very content to stay home. Mm-hmm. And I think perhaps that's what bodies and minds need right now.
So then on top of that and like figuring out logistics, I was, um, referred a really awesome nanny by a friend here who's coming home to our area for just for the summer, which works out really well. So like, working out logistics with her, I think she's gonna come twice a week. You know, lots of great conversations with my boss about [00:10:00] hours and, and coming on hopefully more permanently.
And my contract's up for renewal at the end of June, and there'll be just a lot of, hopefully, you know, I'll have more information. And so it just feels like there's a lot right now that I am working through mentally. Mm-hmm. And logistically, so my brain feels really. Tired and last night I finally slept like a rock cuz I got restocked on Faye, uh, earth to body.
But like the two nights before that, oh gosh, I could not slow my brain down. It was, and that's lately I've been sleeping really great, but I just, I feel like, whoa, I should probably, and then on top of that, you know, just the logistics to go into planning for four days away, packing for everybody supplements, which I always bring with me.
It's just, it's a, it's a lot. It's a lot. And, you know, getting someone who's gonna come watch the dogs mm-hmm. And one, we have one friend who can come, but not for this day. So I've gotta find someone else to fill in that gap. And it's like, oh my God, my brain is so, it's so tired. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that's just, it's just like everything [00:11:00] is good.
I am so grateful. Rusty is healing. He is doing really well. He's spending time back in the gym. We're really feeling like the weather's been amazing, like so much good. I'm also just tired. Mm-hmm. And those two things can coexist. Like none of the logistical headache compares to what it was like a month and a half ago when he was, the logistics were all around like, get the girls fed and looked after, get to the hospital, make sure he's okay.
The worry, it's such a different load. It's a much lighter load, but it's still just a very. Long load list. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Very logistics focused. That's gonna allow us, I just wanna have a good summer. So I know there's a lot that has to happen in order for that to take place. So that is kind of where we're at, like logistic load wise.
Jess: Wow. It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot friends. It is. It's a lot. And it's, it's all
Laura: good, you know. And right now, like right before we had Ghana, I was on hip camp and looking at campsite for, to kind of like the weekend, Evie was going to have her birthday party. That now we're not. It's like, okay, now we have this open [00:12:00] weekend, and I, she's been, she's really obsessed with like sea otters mm-hmm.
And ocean things. And so there's a really cool aquarium in Seattle, and all we'd have to do is hop on the Bainbridge Ferry. So I'm considering. Like, I'm looking for maybe a campground that way so we can like have a day where we go to the aquarium and then camp just to like celebrate her birthday. Mm-hmm.
So anyways, more logistics, but this stuff is, it's fun for me. It's very fun for me, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't take up a lot of mental and then eventually physical energy. Yeah. Hello friends, Laura here popping in real quick to rave about my current, favorite product from Paleo Valley. Have you tried their whey protein yet?
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Jess: I love that for you. I. It's like, it's just how I really know that that is like, that I'm a nine.
Yes. Cause I mean, I mean, it's a lot for anyone. I mean, regardless of if you enjoy it, like some, those things that take time and energy, like you said, but like for me mm-hmm. I just like, I, I'm like, I'm exhausted thinking about all this, just listening to me. Oh friend. But
Laura: it's be, it's funny talking like when we were talking through our Mother's Day weekends and like our plans and like what we wanted to do, you're like, I [00:14:00] just wanna be at home and I wanna sit and I wanna snuggle.
And I'm like, I planned like Friday, Saturday, Sunday I had things to do. We went to the lake, we went to F port towns and like, and that gives me so much joy. So
it's
Jess: just so interesting. It is. It's really interesting. But it sounds like, you know, things are, while they're like, there's a lot going on, it seems like, you know, you're.
Checking in. And I think that's the most important thing, like, you know, and canceling a lot.
Laura: Mm-hmm. And that, you know, and, and just having friends who, who can understand mm-hmm. And not just like, understand and be like, okay, that's fine, but like support it. Mm-hmm. When I have to shift plans or cancel things or whatever.
And a lot of, a lot of our community, I'm sure it a similar boat, like we have young kids. Mm-hmm. It happens. Mm-hmm. You just have to tune in. Mm-hmm. So, Anyways. Yeah.
Jess: Oh, thanks for sharing. It's deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep, deep, deep. I was giggling while you were talking about the Faye stuff because now I am also like, this is not a like a [00:15:00] podcast ad.
This is like truly no from the heart. That stuff is, like I'm saying, legitimate gold. I, I use, oh gosh, what's it called? Do you remember which one? I is it oea? Oea. Oh, oea. Oea. Yeah. So that's the one that I initially like, had requested because I like to take it before bed just to kinda like chill because my mind tends to like get a little bit like squirrely at night.
And so, and I've used other, Like brands before, like C, B, D, all that stuff. And while I, you know, thought that they were really good and they are, this is just different, it just hits different. Mm-hmm. And it's not like, I feel like, I don't know, it's not like this strong feeling, it's just a noticeable sense of calmness and just ability to be like, okay.
Like it just feels like your nervous system is like kind of coded in a warm hug and you're like, yes, you can just relax. You know what I
Laura: mean? A hundred percent. It, it's [00:16:00] so interesting cuz I, we've talked about this, neither you nor I, and I, hopefully I can say this, but Yeah. I don't like the feeling of being high.
Mm-hmm. Like, I just don't like to feel high. Mm-hmm. And the, this hemp oil, it's, it's not even close to that. It's just like you, I love that your nervous system is being wrapped in a warm hug. It just like slows. And I don't know if slowing down is the right word for everybody. I need that. Mm-hmm. And so that's what, that's the word I use, but it's not like it's gonna slow your capacity.
I actually work better when I'm using it. I'm able to just like, I don't know, focus on one thing at a time, but I think it all of that is a result of just a more. Relaxed and down-regulated nervous system,
Jess: down-regulated. That's what that's mm-hmm. Exactly. It's like you still have, you're just in a healthy, energetic place, not a like mm-hmm.
Spinning out like, like, you know, energetic place. Yes. Like you're still. Like, I don't know. It just feels like, yeah, it just feels like there's a, like a layer of calmness kind of like wrapped around, which [00:17:00] is exactly what I need. And I know, I don't know, it's just it hits different, so, hits different for sure.
I'm sure I'm here to personally recommend it cuz I've been using it for. Over a month now, and I, I, it works cannot be without it. I hope mine's getting here soon cuz I'm almost out. Yeah.
Laura: And it's not like, I feel like people think like if I have a glass of wine, I fall asleep. Easier for me, like if I have a glass of wine and maybe I'll fall asleep easier, but I sleep, I'm not rested.
Mm-hmm. I don't sleep well. This is so different. It's not like the, it's not like there's THC that makes you pass out. Mm-hmm. It's the downregulating of your nervous system that therefore results in better sleep. Yeah. Versus like the substance making you sleep, if that makes sense. Oh, totally. So it's. It's pretty incredible.
I'm obsessed.
Jess: I'm obsessed too. I also have to share, I, so I am, oh my gosh. Let me, let me pull up my app. I am, how many days? I'm 143 days. So we're from alcohol and that feels bananas and mm-hmm. It feels great. And I feel like I'm still, I, I can share this. I don't think you [00:18:00] would mind, but Tim ended up having, like, he made like a very conscious decision a couple of weeks ago when we were out on a date to like have a drink.
He was like, you know what? I think I'm okay. Like, I'm, I wanna try it. Just see how it goes. And so he's kind of like easing back into. Like mindful alcohol use and that's, I mean, there was like literally no, I wasn't like, babe, come on. Like, duh. You know, because I feel like that's also reverse pressure, you know?
Totally. Because I'm feeling pressure from people like to drink and then I don't wanna be that person that's like, don't drink, you know?
Laura: Do you have people tried to like convince you otherwise?
Jess: In very few. Like we don't have a lot of social situations in which. That would have occurred, but I could probably count like twice.
And they were in very random social circles that like, were not my close people.
Laura: That's so bananas to me that anyone would like, it's it's their own insecurity. Yeah. Around their own
Jess: drinking. Yeah. And one of 'em was a [00:19:00] situation where like, this person, I. Potentially had some like alcohol abuse, like, you know, just not wanted everyone to like be on the same level as they were.
Yeah. The social gathering. I'm like, no one's gonna be on the same level as you currently. Unfortunate. I know. But anyways, yeah, it has been, for the most part, I would say like 99% overwhelmingly supportive. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna try and continue and you know, I'm really just taking it one day at a time.
Like, I had this goal for a year. And I feel, I read somewhere the other day that it takes like a hundred, I can't remember if it was 180, it was like 140 to 180 days for alcohol to like actually get outta your system. So I feel like I'm not even, I'm barely scratching the surface on like the, the potential positives of like abstaining and so mm-hmm.
I'm gonna give it a, a, you know, I'm gonna keep, keep going, but I did wanna say, I came across this, I was totally influenced [00:20:00] by this person who was sharing this like T hc, I think it's like hemp-based. It's like a synthetic T HC Delta nine, I think is what it's called. Anyways, it's like a T HC infused non-alcoholic like.
Alcohol substitute. And so it came across my like Instagram. And so I did a bunch of research and I was like, okay. Cuz I had been talking to Tim about wanting to try like, just like CBD din infused drinks because I love them. Okay. And I, I'm like, I'm, I'm curious. And so I don't know if this is going to be different than like, C, b, d, like, I don't really, I clearly, I'm new to the whole, like I'm not, I'm not, uh, how do I say this?
I'm not hip to like all the lingo and like, you know, all of the like possibilities of like, I. You know, THC and cbd, B D and all that. Anyways, all that to say this looks very in. Interesting. I was intrigued. So I ordered some and I'll keep you guys posted, [00:21:00] but it's like all the research that I was reading, I actually ordered the one cuz there was like a microdose version and then there was a low dose version.
So the microdose version is for people who like aren't regular, like. THC consumers. And so I'm gonna try it because I love my mocktails and just like see how it, how it goes. And apparently now, like cuz I was nervous at first because I didn't think that they could ship it to Texas because you know, it's not legal here at this point.
But apparently we passed some sort of like farmstead act that allows hemp-based. Products to be shipped in and to be utilized and like farmed here. So I, they're, they're shipping it, so it just shipped. I'll keep you, y'all posted. Cool. I'm sure I'll share if I create some like fun bees, but yeah, I'm excited.
Have you heard of that? Like, have you heard of any of that? Yeah, like Okay. Which the company it's called Nowadays Haven't, I don't know if I've heard of that
Laura: [00:22:00] specific one, but I love dram. Okay. I actually just signed up to be an affiliate with them, so hopefully that goes through soon and I wanna start sharing.
But there's a CBD infused, I don't know if they have ones with THC infused in them. It's, it's hard cuz a, you know, we have dispensaries and stuff here mm-hmm. But any that have thc, like, there's so much sugar. Mm. And I try to avoid sugar and so, It just doesn't serve me. So anyways, um, I haven't really tried any with THC in them, so I'm curious to see and hear more about what you think.
And I just wish that there were better options. But I tried a ton of different ones with CBD because it's legal here everywhere. It's like in, like, you go to a natural grocery store or a co-op or whatever, and they're like, they're all over the place. I feel like they have stuff like that in our Safeways.
That's cool. Yeah. Um, so I'm looking forward to trying different ones, but it's, I just, it's similarly, it's like, Nervous system is getting a hug. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Jess: Um, I love it. Yeah. So I'll keep y'all posted. We'll, we'll see how it goes. And if you're interested, I'll, it's nowadays you can check it out too.[00:23:00]
Yeah. So anyways, do you have any more, sorry, I kind of just like jumped in. Do you have anything else you wanna share before I launch into my last weekend? I do have,
Laura: I do wanna share that we spoke on the podcast about, Me starting a social or creating a sourdough sisterhood online course. Mm-hmm. And I've had three different listeners reach out and be like, listen, let me help you.
So if you've reached out and I haven't responded yet, know that I, I have those dms and I'm sitting on them, and when I have a moment to take a deep breath, it's, it feels like a big step to be like, okay, let's do this. Because life, I just, I mean, they literally just listed off the laundry list, list of logistics.
But I feel like if all I need, if I can have someone help put it together, All I need to do is find, and again this is kind of a big, is like find an afternoon. I need two hours I think, of filming and then I could make it happen and I need somebody else's kitchen cuz mine is not conducive. So yeah, I, I, I wanna do it.
I feel like it will be like, people are asking, people want it, people are excited. So [00:24:00] stay tuned for that and if you are another person who has some skill and wants to, wants to reach out and here for all the tips and advice and help. Yeah, I, I wanna make that happen. So actually, If you are listening, and that's something you would like, because I have like a video tutorial, but I feel like it's not the same as an online course that takes you through step by step.
So yeah, let me know. I
Jess: think I'm here. I mean, yes, period. I'm here for it. I vote one, but like I even just think it's like. Even like starting your starter, feeding your starter. Yeah. Caring for your starter like that is, feels daunting to me. I'm constantly, I mean, we've had Aria for years and I'm constantly like, what am I supposed to do, babe?
How do I, how do I do this? You know? And it's like, I don't know, I just, it's like visually, I just can't picture the steps. So I'm constantly having have like asking Tim to like, remind me what to do. So anyways, I am a vote of one. And okay. Please do it. Take it, [00:25:00] do it. Do it.
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Enjoy. Awesome. Well, yeah, I, I, I would like to do it. So, but anyways, what is the latest on your
Jess: end? Yeah, I think I shared the last time we recorded, I was like, I think we're just gonna chill at home and have like a. Chill weekend. Cuz if you, if y'all remember from last week, the kids were gonna go stay with my, with friends and we were gonna have like kind of an extended amount of time kid list, which like never happens.
Yeah. And
Laura: you were trying to decide what to do. Yeah. All
Jess: the things. Yeah. You were like, do this and that, and I was like, oh, maybe just stay home. But what, so what ended up happening was, Long story short and not to share like too much because it's not just my story, but we got a call from Tim's dad and stepmom.
So Tim is from Corpus Christie, which is kind of a, a little town by the, well, it's not little, I don't know, medium town by the, by the bay. On the coast. And anyways, he, his parents have lived there. His dad and [00:28:00] stepmom have lived there like pretty much his whole life. And so we got a call that his dad and stepmom, you know, they're just getting older and, and there's some health issues and stuff.
And so they are going to move to the valley, which is further down towards like Mexico, because that's where Tim's stepmom is from. And they're gonna do it for a variety of reasons, but partially like, because her family's down there and there's just a lot more support for like all the things that they're kind of going through health-wise.
And so anyways, they were like, we're gonna move. We're gonna do it quickly and we want you to come down. So Tim's grandmother was just this like the most interesting woman pretty much I've ever met in person. And she passed away a couple years ago, but she was like, I don't know, she was just, She was just a special lady and she, over her lifetime, she acquired so many beautiful like furniture pieces and works of art.
[00:29:00] And she oftentimes like visited Mexico and would like, she had a shop in Corpus where she would visit Mexico and like support the artisans there by bringing back their wares and selling them. And so she had all of this like really amazing like. Mexican, like folk art and stuff that got passed down to Tim's dad.
And so anyways, they were like, we're gonna, we're downsizing when we move and we want y'all to come and take some things. And so we were like, Okay, like does is this like now, now like how much time are we talking? And they were like, pretty much, you need to come now. And so we kind of shifted plans. We dropped the kids off on Friday and then headed straight down to Corpus.
It's about a two hour drive and the like a straight shot. And so we went and we stayed with Tim's brother and my sister-in-law. Who have a house, like, probably like a street over from the Bay. And so we got to stay with them and we, so I told Tim, I was like, okay. [00:30:00] Because I was really, honestly disappointed.
I, I mean, I love, I know we, we gotta be there for family and that's important. And there's also, there's just a lot more backstory to like that relationship there. But I was like, all right, there's gonna be boundaries. Around our trip, like good, healthy boundaries. And I wanna make sure that we also have like some fun when we're down there because you know, it's like we rare, we rarely get to be together, like kid less.
And so we went down, we, the first night we stayed in and my brother-in-law's, or my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, they cooked us. What did they cook us? I'm like, oh, we had a shrimp boil because like the seafood there is just like fresh and amazing and incredible. And so they went to the local like.
Seafood shop and got all this shrimp, which I love, and we made the shrimp oil and we, we had oysters like freshly shucked oysters, which was like, Oh my gosh, it was heaven. I love oysters. So we had oysters and a shrimp boil and we just hung out. We [00:31:00] played, we have this card game, I think I've mentioned it before on the podcast.
Well, it's Tim's family's card game. He's actually from his mom's side and it's called Continental, and I actually don't even know if it's a real card game or if they made it up. But the rules have been passed down. Like generation to generation. And we taught Tim's brother, so not, they don't share the same mom.
So his half-brother, we taught them because every time they would come down we would like, let's play it. And so we taught them and they've kind of adopted it like for their side of the family. And they wrote down all the rules because it's like 11 rounds of cards. And it takes a long time to play, but it is so fun.
It's like literally my favorite thing to do with family. And so we played cards and had kind of just like a chill night and then the next day we went to the beach, which was just like packed because I think, you know, the weather was, was pretty good, but we got to get a little bit of sun and hang out at the beach and then we.
We decided we like weren't gonna really eat out very much. [00:32:00] And so we went to the back to the seafood place and got some shrimp and cuz I wanted fried shrimp so badly, it's my favorite food in the whole world. So we got fried shrimp and hush puppies and then we went to, they have like a local meat market and we got some like fresh steaks and like stuffed jalapeno poppers.
Oh my gosh, my mouth is water. I'm so hungry right now. I'm talking about all this. So we got a bunch of stuff and a. Big old salad, made a big old salad and more oysters and we just like feasted. We had like a giant dinner and then we played more cards and so we got a little bit of relaxation and fun in, and then the next day on Sunday, we spent most of the day over at his parents' house and kind of going through stuff and visiting and.
Yeah, so we, we took some like really just good quality like side tables and tables for our living room and some paintings that we haven't put up. And a bunch of this, like oaxacan, like wood carved animals, which is like a big thing we'd like. She wanted [00:33:00] us all to have them because they're like really bright and colorful and fun, and the kids.
Or obsessed with them. So we took a bunch of that stuff and some like, you know, plates and thi dishes, like handmade stuff from, from Mexico. And so that was kind of our weekend. And then on the way home we had to like drop everything off, grab car seats and drive again to go pick up the kiddos who also had an, an incredible weekend with our friends.
So it was good, all in all it was good. It was exhausting for me. The nine who like. You know, that's a lot of moving, a lot of doing, but it was really, really good and I'm glad we did it. I'm glad we got to see Tim's parents and spend some time with them because, you know, it's just, I don't know. It's like the realization that like our parents are getting old and then seeing them and I don't know.
It's just like kind of, it can be shocking, especially when you haven't seen him for a while, but everyone's doing okay. And this week has just been a lot of like end of school stuff. So the [00:34:00] kids, they have a half day tomorrow and that's their last day of school. And so a lot of it is like field trips and like we had Cammy's celebration of life cuz Cammy's birthday is in July, so she's not in school.
But the Montessori kind of practice as a celebration of life. And she got to, what they do is. They fill out this form about kind of like their life, but it's a bunch of questions. And then we get, we got to bring pictures of like one from every year of her life. And then she wanted to, you bring like a little treat to share with the class and so she wanted to bake her own treats.
She was just like the best. So we made, we got, I got this cookbook from the library. It's like a kid's baking book and she found these cherry orange scones. They were so. Good. She did such a good job. So we made scones to bring to class and so the parents are invited and you get like, basically like the, the birthday boy or girl sits in the middle and they get to kinda like read about themselves [00:35:00] and talk about themselves and then they like go around the circle.
Everyone else is in the outer circle around them and everyone gives them like a birthday wish. And so it was just so cute. So like they kind of turn as they go and like they're face-to-face with their classmate and their classmate says, you know, something like, I hope you have a great like year. I hope you get to do so many fun things.
I hope that you, you know, keep up with your art. Like whatever that it is that they like about. The student who's celebrating their birthday. And then like, Tim and I got to say something, I almost started crying too cuz I was like, oh my God, I just love you so much. And then they get to pass around like the pictures of themselves as a baby and like growing up and stuff.
So it was just really, really special. So we got to do that for Camille. And then like, there's just a lot of like book clubs and snack things and, you know, running back and forth to the school this week. And so it's been, it's been. Kind of, you know, it's been a little bit hectic. And then on top of that, like Tim and I talked on the way down, the really good part about like traveling [00:36:00] without kids was like, we got basically two hours there and back, so four hours total just to like talk uninterrupted.
And so a lot of what I wanted to talk about was like, what, what's our summer gonna look like? What are our expectations? Like, how are we gonna do this because, This is like pretty typical of me to be like, oh, summer's here. Like what are we gonna do? You know, the first day that they're back. And so we talked about that a lot.
And I think some of the things I'll just share, and it's probably not gonna work out perfectly because it never does, but like one of the things we wanna do is like limit getting on screens, right? In the morning because what our typical MO is like on extended breaks or you know, summer vacation when we still have to work is we're like, you know, they get up and we work in the morning and they're on screens like pretty much right away.
That's like their screen time. So I think we're gonna try and shift it a little bit to where the first like hour or two in the morning, they're like, you know, we're eating breakfast and like we're gonna be [00:37:00] together and they can do something else. And then we'll have a little bit of break to for screen time.
So Tim and I can kind of like get into some like more deep work. But one of the things last summer, what, what we did, we did like a book challenge, like a reading challenge for the kids and basically was like, if you read X number of books, like. You can, like, here's what you can achieve, like, and we let them kind of pick the things that they would be rewarded with.
And it wasn't like required. It wasn't like you have to read, but it was like, Hey, here's a little bonus encouragement for. Like spending time off your screens and like for, you know, actually reading. And so this year we're changing up a little bit. We're still gonna do it, but we're just gonna track hours because the hardest part was like Bear was reading like Harry Potter and that's a long book and it takes a lot of time, especially, you know, at like eight years old.
And so it was just like, He would wanna read like smaller, shorter, easier books instead of like really diving into something like Harry [00:38:00] Potter. And so we're just gonna track like hours red and hours outside and they're kind of like, Both. We're gonna track both and they'll both count. And if he reads out bonus points, if they read outside, they're gonna get double, double the time.
And so we're gonna do that this year and we're gonna let them again, like pick their rewards, like what would be motivating to them individually, because it's different for both kids. And so we're gonna do that. We're going to try and mostly get a lot of our work done, you know, in that first half of the day.
After, you know, right after lunch, and then spend a lot of time at the pool because we don't really have a lot of like big trips. I don't even think we have, we have one camping trip that's actually gonna be on Father's Day weekend. We went last year. But this year we're gonna go with my mom's, with my mom to her family reunion.
It sounds so weird, but like I've been going to this family reunion since I was a kid and this is like the hundredth year of my mom's side of the family that they're doing it. So it's kind of a big [00:39:00] deal. She invited us to come along we'll, we'll share a house with her and my sisters and my nieces and nephews, and it'll be really fun.
So that's kind of like our only trip for the summer, and a lot of it has to do with just work and, you know, financials and trying to be like good stewards of our, our finances when, you know, we're not necessarily generating a ton of income right now. So just trying to make as much mindful memories at home.
Let's see. Do we have any other trips? We probably will take another trip down to the coast because we can stay with Tim's brother again, but this time with the kids do a beach trip, but it's gonna be a pretty low key summer. Lots of pool time, lots of art time, lots of soccer. I'm sure bears like super into soccer, and he'll be on a.
Select team next year, which you just finished tryouts for. So he's gonna keep rocking and rolling with that and Yeah. But that's, that's kind of like the latest and greatest. And if you have been tuning into [00:40:00] Instagram, I shared the other day that like, I have been, I'm still there. Kind of like what you were talking about, Laura, like you felt just tired.
I feel, I feel exhausted to be honest. I feel like I'm not. I, I, I would not call it depression. I would call it just a low energy, a low, low excitement for like life, which is, I mean, I don't know. It's hard to describe cause I don't wanna anyone to worry about me. Like things are okay. It's just more, everything feels, everything feels exhausting and everything feels.
Especially challenging right now for no big reason that I can pinpoint. And we talked about this a, I think we've talked about this a little bit in like past episodes because this is, this feeling has kind of like hung around for a while. I would say probably since the start of the, the year maybe more.
But just feeling uncertainty with what I [00:41:00] was supposed to be doing with my life. You know, it's like I have, we have the podcast and I love this and I love that. Like this is a huge, consistent thing that I can show up for in my life no matter what. And that's huge. It kind of like anchors me, but I. Aside from that, it's like I, there's just a lot of questions and there's a lot of building different things.
Bre like reaching outside of my comfort zone in terms of like food photography and, you know, we've talked about this on the last episodes, like Beauty Counter is still rock, it's still, it's still rocking and rolling, but it's like one of those things that's, it's also always gonna be there and something that I'm involved in, but like, Not necessarily like the number one thing that I'm doing, and so I just feel like I'm in like this huge transition.
I'm also turning 40 this year. That probably has something, even if I'm not aware of it, like just something to do with it. Cuz it's a huge milestone. You know? It's like, I don't know. For me, It's a milestone and I don't, I don't know. Does any of this make sense at [00:42:00] all? I'm just feeling, I'm feeling like a general normal.
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[00:44:00] Now let's dive back into our episode.
Laura: And I feel as though like listening to you talk, it just seems like a lot of people I've spoken with are having similar feelings around just kind of being, excuse me, I got some sort of thought, a little bit tired right now. Yeah. Like it just, things feel a little harder and I, I'm not gonna speak for everybody, but I can speak for a number of friends that I've spoken to, including you lately, who it's like, let's just.
I feel like there's like a reas, a reassessment happening mm-hmm. Right now. Mm-hmm. And I, it's, that's pretty standard for seasonal shifts, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. As we move from one to the next and a lot of us are down regulating into summertime with kids and like, what is that gonna look like? And we also have work in life.
Mm-hmm. And. It's a, it's a lot to be a mom.
Jess: It really, really, really, really is. And it's like, but it's like your brain is always running in the background. You know what I mean? Always, always. It's like there's no,
Laura: oh goodness. But
Jess: still it's still running. Yeah. It's like, it's like this, the computer program, like it's always running in the background, even when you think you're like, [00:45:00] Not thinking of mm-hmm.
Things like you are, or, I mean, I'm speaking for myself. Mm-hmm. It's like, and it's just like the logistics of life. It's like it's getting more and more challenging, especially for us as the kids. Kids just get older and there's just more. There's just more stuff going on and it's like, they're also like independent kids who, like, they want friend time, you know, and they're asking for like to do certain things and then the cat's sick and like we gotta make an appointment and who can go and like, it's just never, I have four dogs,
it's never,
Laura: Hey. Yeah, yeah. Never,
Jess: literally never. I know. And I think part of like my realization, the kind of like. Sadness is that like, I keep thinking like, okay, let's just get over this hump and things will slow down, but like I, you know, I just need to be truthful with myself. Like, things are not necessarily gonna slow down.
Like, yes, there will be times where we'll be doing [00:46:00] less, but at the same time, like, This is life. Like I, I, I keep waiting for things to be different. And what I need to do, and this I'm just speaking for myself, is just find a way to like find, center and calm through life regardless of my circumstances.
And so that's kind of like where I'm at right now. It's like how can I find joy and peace and calmness even when things are challenging? Do you know what I mean?
Laura: A hundred percent. Yeah. Rusty and I had a very similar conversation two nights ago amongst all the things we're like, it's just, it's just, it's just not going to slow down.
Mm-hmm. So what, this is what we talk about with Ed all the time. When things happen and she's like, this is whatever, meltdown Central or whatever it is, we're like, listen, yeah, that person said that thing to you, or they took your rock. She has this rock named raspberry that like some kid at school keeps taking from her.
Like you can't control her actions. Mm-hmm. But you can control how you respond to it. And so that's what Rustin has to remind ourselves. It's like we can't control the fact that life we are [00:47:00] in a season with two young kids and work and so many logistics that load, you know? Mm-hmm. It's like, but we, all we can do is, is control how we respond.
Mm-hmm. And a big part of that response has to be the pause and like the deep breaths and also the tr the trust. For me, it's like I've worked through this a lot with my therapist is like, and I've talked about it here. I just. The Monday, Tuesday mental load mm-hmm. Is really intense. Mm-hmm. And just trusting that everything will get done.
Mm-hmm. It will get done and it always does get done. Mm-hmm. And if it doesn't, it wasn't that important, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So just reminding myself of that too, cuz No, it's not. I and I, and I feel like the. It's good of us to finally say that it's important. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because we keep saying on the podcast, at least me, I look back at like the past, since like the new year, even since last fall.
Mm-hmm. Okay. I feel like things are gonna start slowing down here. It's over the holidays, things are gonna slow down and like, it just, it hasn't. So you're listening and you've been like, you keep saying it. It's not happening. You're right. It's not, it's not happening. It's not going to. Anytime soon
Jess: we're finally admitting it.
Yeah, [00:48:00]
Laura: let's, we, we, we say, we talk real talk here, let's be real. And it's not that we've been lying to you, we've been lying to ourselves unintentionally.
Jess: I think that's a protective mechanism, honestly. Cause I hear so many people say like, oh, things should slow down and x, y, z amount of time. But it's like, no, things just change.
Yeah. They just evolve and it's like there's always something, there's always something for better or for worse. And so like, how are we gonna live life? In a way that's like sustainable because this is, yeah, it's, you know, we, we got, we're here for the next, like, you know, I don't know even know how much longer.
40 to 50 years. Lord willing. Come on. I'm not even halfway through my life probably. So that's kind of mind bending. Yeah, so, wow. Anyways, yeah, lots, lots of just processing, I think for me at least, and based on feedback when I shared like I'm not the only one. So maybe it's something to do with, I don't know, this mercury and retrograde or something [00:49:00] weird that I'm not aware of.
But if you are also struggling, we see you and it's gonna be okay. I keep telling myself that as well. But just pause. Not easy. Just, just pause. Yeah. I also wanna say, you had mentioned something about like Evie having like big feelings and you know, wanting to solve them. It's so interesting cuz like, oh, maybe, maybe I'll save this for another episode.
I think this'll be, I think another episode about like, I don't know if you're down for it, but like how we as parents PR kind of. I don't know, take care of ourselves in those moments. How we hold space for, for our kiddos, because I'm sure they're different for, for both of us. And you know, depending on the kid, it's gonna be different and the intensity of the emotion and all of that.
So maybe we can talk about that next episode or have a topical, like, you know, I don't know, caring for yourself through those big emotions and like [00:50:00] how, how to do it without maybe exploding or like shutting down completely. I like that. Which I've done both, so anyways. Yeah. We'll say, yeah, we put a pin
Laura: serious test last weekend, but I feel like that's, that would be a good, like topical.
Yeah, I'll add it to our list. Okay, cool.
Jess: Because we've been having a lot of big feelings too, and like that, that moment of like, What you said when you, you were like, what's wrong? Like, let's talk about it. Like what happened? And then her just being like, I don't know, like so much of that. It's like, You know, because there's a lot going on, as much as going, going on for us.
There's a lot going on for our kids. And I read this meme that was like first grade's so wild. You're like learning how to write and like learning how to like navigate relationships and your teeth are falling out. Like all this, there's like so much massive change happening with these kids right now.
It's just bananas. Mm-hmm. And they're learning so much and it's a lot. And so, Yeah. How do we help 'em and help ourselves through all those transitions? I think that's a good, good [00:51:00] topic. That is the question
Laura: for sure. Oh, sweet. Well, I love it. Well, well not, no, I hear some big feelings happening. All right.
Jess: Okay. Give that little sweetheart a kiss and hug for me. I will.
Laura: Thanks for listening everyone. Thanks for the space. I feel I feel lighter. Yeah. Thanks for lessening my load.
Jess: Yeah, just being here. Yes, absolutely. Thanks for tuning in, friends. We'll see you next week. All right. Bye bye. I
Laura: dunno what, thanks
Jess: for listening to our podcast.
See you next time. Thanks for listening to our podcast. See you next time. Bye.[00:52:00]