MMP Ep 346: Instagram Break Breakthroughs

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Hi friends, welcome to the Modern Mamas podcast.

We are two modern Mamas here to inspire empowerment, self love, deep physical and spiritual nourishment, holistic health, open minds and joy no matter your journey or perspective.

I'm Laura of Radical Roots.

I'm a certified CrossFit trainer, certified nutrition consultant, and Mama to Edie Wilder and Indie Bow.

0:56

I love outdoor adventure, good food, especially sour and mindful movement.

And I'm Jess of Hold the Space Wellness.

I am a Level One CrossFit Trainer, a licensed and certified athletic trainer with the masters in Kinesiology and Mama to Baron Camille.

I love food, trying new things, creating art, and being a perpetual learner.

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Please note that while we're here to provide advice and insights, we aren't medical practitioners and always recommend that you check with a trusted provider before implementing any changes.

Thanks for joining us.

We're so happy you're here.

Good morning, Modern Mama's.

1:30

Community.

Modern Mama.

Mada, Mada, Mada, Mada.

Mama's.

Should I start beat boxing or that'd be cool?

Yeah, that'd be really cool.

Probably sounds extra good in my name, Mike, you know.

They'd give me lessons in beat boxing.

1:47

Is Barrett William really?

Yes.

There, Bill.

He's actually a very, very good beatboxing.

I can imagine.

I feel like he has some very unique skills.

He's a he's a magical human.

He is.

I've been thinking about them all morning.

I'm just going to jump in.

2:02

I just like, I don't know, we had a rough morning getting out the door and I've just been thinking about them since they left.

And it's like wild how I know.

I'm like, oh, this is like.

That was me yesterday.

Yeah, kicking my butt.

But I simultaneously, as soon as they're gone, you're like.

2:22

And then and then it's like, what did I say?

Was I, was I kind enough?

Was I patient enough, You know, and we never is there in enough.

I don't know.

But yes, also always we are.

It's like, it's so motherhood is so complicated.

We are always enough for our kids, but also never feel like, I don't know, you know, Yeah, your mom being listening, you know?

2:41

You know, I know.

And we're Dang it.

We're really good moms.

We're such moms.

Gosh, I just have to keep telling myself sad.

But yeah, one of my kids especially needed a lot of did not want to go to school.

And you know, it's just like sometimes you just wake up with one of those days and it's like you just don't want to do anything.

3:01

I don't want to do anything today.

I would.

I really would.

I could kind of hearing your voice when you.

First picked up I I just like.

It's one of those days where I'm like I wish I didn't have a list of things to do.

I want to like stay in my sweatpants and I'm in like my ludial phase.

I'm about to start my period.

3:16

Like it's all very predictable to me for me, like on the outside looking in.

But anyways, one of my kids just did not want to go and it was hard.

It was hard walking him through that because it's like I we can't rearrange the day and it wasn't like anyone was sick or anything like that.

3:34

And I think it's the moon.

Yeah, we had a moment like that yesterday evening.

I just said her come in the afternoon.

So I go get work done and then meet Rusty for a date.

We're trying to do that every other week and one in particular.

I mean it was easy.

She did just did not want me to go and I'll get more to this.

3:49

But I just feeling like very, very attached and like I just, I was like, what is it?

What's wrong?

What's going on?

Just like I just don't want you to leave.

I just want to be with you.

Well, that breaks me.

Hard.

It's hard.

It is.

It is.

Because, like you want to honor their needs, but then you also have needs and your partner has needs, and these are all important simultaneously at the same time.

4:12

And it's.

Bullshit.

Yeah, it really, really, really, really is.

And and anyway, so yeah, that's my, like, headspace.

Coming into this morning, I'm just like, God, can I crawl back under the covers?

Like, I don't.

I just, I don't know, being an adult sometimes it's like I have that freedom.

4:31

But at the same time, if I do that today, there's just going to be double the things to catch up on tomorrow.

So it's like, well, just going to, like, saddle up.

Do you know if I do the thing?

Yeah, and do the thing.

But at the same time, it's like, OK, I can take some breaths before I jump in.

4:49

I I got up, I went and moved my body today.

I wasn't really feeling like what I had on my plate in terms of like the plan for working out.

So I like did some core stuff and stretched and walked, which that's also a pivot.

Like, I get to choose that and, you know, had a nourishing little protein shake this morning because I knew I needed to eat something and I wasn't really feeling, like making actual food or like, chewing.

5:15

I'm like, so glad that I can't even chew.

Hey, little things we can do to simplify Oh.

And so I'm like, OK, I can do that.

I've got my water filled, I got got my supplements ready.

Like, I don't know, I struggle with all or nothing mentality like hardcore.

5:35

So like yesterday for example, I had a really busy shoot day at Fed and Fit and it was hard because I guess we're just jumping in.

It was hard because our forerunner's back in the shop, which is another thing that I think has got me, like, real just bummed.

5:51

Because this forerunner is a great car.

And apparently, like, it's just really old and it needs a lot of work.

And apparently, if we do all the stuff that costs thousands of dollars, then it should be good for another 100,000 miles.

It's like, OK, who?

Who really knows if that's the truth?

6:06

Because the whole other thing was like, I'm sure they're OK Hear me.

I'm sure there are wonderful, kind mechanics.

I always feel like every time a mechanic is talking to me about something that needs to be done, that I'm getting, like, the wool pulled over my eyes.

Like, someone's trying to like, get get me like, you know, just to like, Oh yeah, Nicole needs this and this and this and it's going to be $50,000 later anyway.

6:32

So it's just been like a frustrating thing with that.

So the shoot day yesterday, we only have one car.

And of course, kids have to get to school.

I've got to get to work.

I've got to pick them up, which is not the norm.

So it was like a really like intense shoot day because we still have like 5 things we had to get done.

6:50

And so, you know, I I didn't eat a nursing breakfast.

I didn't move my body.

I didn't, like, drink enough water.

And by the end of the day when I got home, I was just like, it's hard this pointless.

I'm like eating cookies like my and it was just fine.

7:05

But I knew it was like emotional eating because I was like, what?

And give me the sugar, you know?

But I don't know.

I just have a hard time because I was like, OK, the day's not wasted.

You still, you know, all these other things that I wanted to prioritize.

I still got done, but I was feeling like it wasn't enough because I didn't do everything that I wanted to do, do you know?

7:25

What?

I mean, that's hard.

Yeah, it's hard.

It's hard.

I get it.

And when you load a day like that, I mean, and there's mom stuff and there's work stuff and there's some self-care stuff and it can't all get done, I.

Know and then I'm going to have to yeah this just a lot.

7:43

Yesterday was a lesson for sure, and today continues to be a lesson.

And every day, every day.

Is a lesson.

Yeah, I feel that I'm a Bones.

My gracious.

Oh hey there, Laura here.

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8:00

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I think the full moon's playing into it for sure.

Like it's been a little crazy, but I have.

I'll tell you what I am off social media.

9:14

Tell me more about that.

I don't think I.

I've been like kind of thinking about taking a break or whatever and talking about it and it's not because that space is.

I don't feel like it's triggering.

I'm not having like an emotional issue with it.

It's not, it's not toxic.

It doesn't feel that way.

It's just very time consuming.

9:31

I am putting out a lot of content and I'm having a hard time finding pulling back, like finding a better, I guess quote UN quote, balance of like the discipline to like be on their lesson.

It's I think it is.

It's been for so long that has been my sense of productivity when other things in my life feel out of control.

9:49

I'm like, well, I can post here and I and the thing about like having an Etsy shop and affiliate links and a website, I can go look at where traffic's driving from.

I know, excuse me, that Instagram is an important component of my business and so I've had a really hard time pulling away.

10:05

I share things there like about sourdough.

I immediately see that day orders come in and I've been off it for four days and I've had no orders, so I know there's a direct correlation.

It's also just a slower month.

People are kind of like shopped out and stuff.

But I also, I was laying in bed on Monday, right?

10:23

So I'm now working as an employee for CrossFit and I have more space and time and I'm pouring into that a little bit more and I'm and the days are just full and I'm laying with India at nap time.

And I had like a pretty full day.

A full afternoon where I like was momming in the morning and then I had a sitter coming and I was going to go have work time in the afternoon and get home right about 5 when Rusty does.

10:46

And so I made chili and cornbread that morning to just simmer and sit and be ready for dinner later.

And I took pictures and stuff as I did it and and he helped and I have good boundaries about not posting in the moment.

I hardly ever do.

But and then it's like nap time.

I'm laying with her and I'm thinking about what I need, what I quote UN quote need to get into my stories, you know?

11:05

And and don't get me wrong I enjoy sharing.

But in that moment I'm laying with her and I'm like what the fuck?

Excuse my French but like I'm laying with my baby to get her down for a nap and my brain is somewhere else entirely.

And I want that time with her, even though we're just like she's dozing off.

11:21

Like I just want to be there with her.

And in that moment my brain shifted and I'm like, I am going to take a break.

Taking a break.

And I like thought through anyone who's on Instagram a lot or maybe you're whatever content creator etcetera, I will like create a whole post in my brain basically.

11:39

And so I just like like OK, this is what I'm going to say.

I don't have a specific why that I feel like sharing in that space.

I don't have a specific timeline.

I have no idea.

But I am going to like hold myself accountable to taking a break by getting on there and just saying I'm done.

And it was I had zero second thoughts thought on there.

11:57

I posted the chili stuff because I wanted to.

I had created that content.

I wanted to share.

I wanted one more you know like here's my cornbread recipe sharing a little bit more and then and then I posted that and I can deleted the app and I haven't missed it.

I haven't gotten back on.

I have no call to I am like I and and I'll tell you what.

12:16

So then that Monday, I think karmically it was meant to happen the timing that it did because Sitter came got to the library all set up working sitter calls and he puked everywhere.

So then I had to like get home clean up.

She left.

I mean she took actually she's a godsend.

12:32

She took Evie to jiu Jitsu, so I was able to kind of like clean and just give India bath and be with her.

And then snuggled her in with a show so she could just rest her body.

And Evie came home and we just like all hunkered in and I got another hour or so work done.

12:48

And then I was just like with the girl and that was like, you know, across at work and some.

And then I snuggled in with the girls and we just had a love with the dinner was made and I didn't have this like extra thing that I didn't realize was just it was always there.

There's like the the so and and so then the next day moving into Tuesday, I did not have the sitter because I like, we're like let's take a day make sure this isn't a a running rampant bug that's going to take us all down, which is thank God, knocking on all the wood.

13:15

It didn't.

So I didn't have help, but I did have a lot of work, including some meetings, and I navigated it better than I, certainly better than I would have if I had still been on Instagram, you know, because I it didn't even, it wasn't even there.

Like it didn't.

13:31

It's wild.

And So what I'm realizing is I do.

I love this space for so many reasons.

I love the connection.

I love having a space to share things that I truly believe, like I wouldn't be on there sharing stuff if I didn't think that it was helping people in some way.

I think that I, you know, I'm not like I'm the best.

13:46

I have all the ideas.

But I think I have some things that have worked well in my journey that I like being able to share.

And then of course there's the dopamine response from someone messaging me saying hey this is really helpful or hey, like I I love this or whatever it is but and I am realizing now that I've stepped away first of all how much time it takes.

14:04

But I don't you don't realize it.

I don't realize it when I'm working.

And then I just, like pick up my phone real quick to maybe check a text.

And then next thing I know I'm on the app, you know, and I'm like and I'm not even much of A scroller, but I'm still thinking I'm answering DMS and I'm checking like my most recent posts.

I'm thinking about another one maybe making a draft or whatever, And it's a fun creative release, but also I feel very needed there.

14:26

And this isn't a comment on anyone who's following me.

I put myself out in that way.

I'm not a victim here, but I get in and I see there's a bunch of DMS and there's there's questions that are valid and kind and you know, but still it pulls me in and it takes my energy and my time.

14:43

And it it adds one more thing to my brain that has me moving in a little bit more like frenetic, frantic kind of pace.

Because it's my brain is I was thinking about it too.

Like in these four days, my brain has just slowed way down because I don't have six things like imagine.

14:59

I'm like talking to my whatever I'm working or I'm in with my family or whatever.

I step into the kitchen, pick up my phone.

The next thing I know, I'm like in a completely different world.

Whether I'm answering Adm or like looking at someone's recipe or like I'm in someone's kitchen all of a sudden and then I'm supposed to just put my phone back and like walk back in the living room and just be present again.

15:19

Our brains are not designed to function that way, like, period.

And that's how so many of us are walking around on a day-to-day basis, like bouncing from like world to world to world to input to input to input.

No wonder we're all you know stressed and all of this.

Right.

Everyone's.

15:35

I'm just going to go on fucking soapbox.

Sorry.

I've cussed a lot.

I feel very passionate about this because I'm learning a lot and I feel like I talk about Nicole every episode.

But we've been talking a ton through this because she's also taking a break and and she keeps using the word profound.

And I'm like it it feels profound.

And so you know I'm I my brain is slowed down and we we, you know everyone talks about like reducing toxins and like get this whatever vegetable oils and all that out of your food and Sugar's the devil or whatever.

16:01

But but then we are living in a mentally toxic soup day in and day out as we bounce in and out of social media and consume things we're not supposed to be consuming on that.

Like at the top of a hat where you're like wake your baby and it's so sweet but then you're also for me like I'll be nursing Indian.

16:18

Like on Instagram at the same time.

Like that is a weird dichotomy that in no other time in human existence has existed where you can be like looking at someone performing some horrific act or someone on there like high horse soapbox telling you that you are going to hell because you're consuming sugar or whatever it is.

16:40

Getting these inputs while you're maybe like nursing your baby or with your family or like what in the world.

So anyways, clearly processing a lot.

I am not done with Instagram.

I have worked my butt off to build something great there.

I love the community, I love the space to share, but I whenever I come back, I don't know when that will be.

16:58

Right now, like Spring Equinox is in my brain.

That could.

It might be that long.

It might not, depending on how things go.

But I want to be able to pop in there and be like, hey, sourdough Workshop coming up or hey, I'm selling sticky buns this weekend.

Or hey, I've launched a new product, or here's a new recipe, but I I think I need to use it more as like my newsletter.

17:15

You know, just to disseminate information, share maybe a like a a quick overview like a update of here's life lately.

So I'm still navigating how if I want to get back on and I I know there's, I know I do.

I don't know when and I don't exactly know how.

I know that I need better boundaries.

I don't want to be on there.

17:32

You know, like so frequently.

It just, yeah.

So anyways, lots of learning.

I think I will have something to share when I get back in terms of what I've learned for anyone who wants to hear it and I will be sharing here.

It's so silly.

I've been talking to Rusty a ton about it too, you know?

It's like it's at the forefront of my mind while being off my brain.

17:50

It's this weird combination of like such a relief, you know?

So anyways, Rusty and I had a date yesterday and sitter came to the house.

I went and I went for a walk and then I went to our fun little tap room and I got the sparkling water and I added some apple cider vinegar to it and I sipped that while I worked.

18:06

And then a little bit of Rusty picked up dinner to bring and I got a cider and he got a beer and we sat there and we ate and we talked.

It didn't even you know how often I'm coming back to my phone and it's because I have the hour, Like after an hour it locks my phone like five times out of seven I have to put the code in.

18:24

Just haven't even thought to pick it all up.

But then also have moments where I can tell if I'm feeling, like, stressed or whatever.

I will just grab it and open it and then I'll be like, why am I here, you know?

So breaking habits, relearning, reworking my brain.

I mean there's like a whole dopamine thing that's like silly trickling off, but thus far it feels really good.

18:45

So I'm curious to see how that plays out.

I was for a long time like a FOMO of like, what's going to happen if I don't.

I mean, the beauty counter sales are way down.

My Etsy shop is way down, But also it's been 4 days and also it's January.

And you know, so it's like, yeah, so we'll see what comes of it.

19:02

But I I have noticed too energetically, I think because I no longer have that.

Like, I'm not on there.

Being available for AI mean we're talking potentially hundreds, at least of people not getting hundreds of DMS every day.

19:18

But there there's hundreds of people consuming my content and I'm answering DMS very frequently.

I'm answering, you know, responding to captions and stuff and just even just creating content for people.

I'm that's I'm taking a pause on that.

And I have noticed my girls are less, for lack of a better word.

19:36

I hate the word needy because of course they need me and I want them to need me.

But you know what I mean?

That word of like clingy or needy or so on Tuesday in the afternoon, right.

Didn't have childcare to circle back to that.

I'm at my standing desk at the table.

India is next to me playing so contentedly with Play DoH and Evie is playing with these paper dolls that she has for 90 minutes to two hours without.

19:57

Like because Indy's thing is hold you Mama, she just wants to be held all the time.

Didn't ask me to hold her once they were so content.

And I'm at my laptop, which usually if I have a screen open, they need me immediately.

But I think it's an energetic shift on my end where I don't, I'm not being so pulled somewhere that they can just pick up on that.

20:15

I'm just, I'm more available to them and so therefore they.

Require they don't need to ask for my attention as much.

And there's just this level of contentment we've experienced the past three days that hasn't I have not felt in a while.

We've gotten out in nature.

I've made beautiful meals and haven't taken a picture.

20:34

If you make a beautiful meal and you don't post a picture of it, does it even happen?

Totally.

We've gotten outside.

I didn't, you know, and and didn't I just leave that?

We've been going for walks and stuff.

I just leave my phone at home and so I'm learning about myself too.

I like a very aesthetically pleasing bowl or plate, whether I'm taking a picture or not.

20:52

I like food to be an experience, whether I'm taking a picture or not.

I get outside and I go on adventures, whether I'm documenting it or not.

So just things like this where it's just friendly reminders to myself, I'm baking sourdough and eating beautiful things, you know?

And and you know, my local workshops have been really, they've been lucrative.

21:08

They're selling out.

I launched one last week for February.

It's sold out in a day and 1/2 and then I launched one for March.

I only have three spots left and I have one plan in May and those, those bring in a good amount of money for very like acute hard work, intense like a few days, you know.

21:23

But so I'm just kind of navigating how I want to do this and prioritize my girls, my work for CrossFit, my mental health and then also local business and local community.

This is not this podcast isn't going anywhere.

So at this point if you're missing anything, I'm sharing.

21:40

I subscribe to my newsletter.

I send one every Monday and I can do that over the weekend and not eat into other work.

And then I'm on the podcast every week you know and and it almost I'm like verbally vomiting here because I haven't shared anything on social media and that's fine you know and circling back one more time to our date.

21:56

I feel like I'm bouncing all over the place because I have so many thoughts.

This is all very fresh but Rusty and I, you know we had our date last night and first of all when I showed up to the I went for a walk.

I brought my laptop and I brought my book and I did some CrossFit work, rounded that out for the day, closed my laptop and I still had 1/2 an hour.

22:12

I read my book, he showed up, didn't look at my phone once except for we wanted to check the weather to see what it's going to be like this weekend.

And we looked at an Airbnb because we have another night away in Victoria in March and we played Slapjack and we just ate and we just talked and it didn't even I document things and that's been my habit.

22:32

I mean especially like it started really when we were in the van and that was, that was my job, right?

I was sharing our journey and so I'm just a documentary of like my day-to-day and the things that I find fun, but I can experience and enjoy those fun things without always sharing them.

Maybe every once in a while, like here's something fun we did, you know?

22:48

So anyways, I hear Indy, but that is the latest here with the whole social media break thing.

I've gotten on once or twice on my computer just to because there's certain restaurants locally, like where we picked up food last night where they won't say on their website whether they're open and they'll randomly close.

23:04

So I just wanted to make sure they were open.

But then I don't even open messages, you know, and I just it's amazing.

So that's the latest there Indy is calling for me.

So he shares some updates and then I think, I mean I feel like that's kind of it.

Life is good.

Here we are.

23:19

Rusty just found out he's got.

So he was going to teach seminars first and second, second weekend of February and then this week he got a third one popped on this weekend.

So now he's leaving tomorrow, so it'll be 3 weekends in a row that he's gone.

But it's good work, you know, it's putting us closer, maybe hopefully buying a house in the next year or two.

23:37

And I feel like I'm just, I'm going to be more present with the girls this weekend, which is fun.

We'll do baking and hang and the snow was melted.

Oh, I have more because we went to Bainbrake.

We audible plans last weekend.

Oh, you haven't?

Yeah, you didn't tosss anything about that.

Do you want to go grab Indy and then come back and or I'll.

23:55

I'll fill in on my stuff and then.

Yeah, I want to hear and I'll be right back.

I want, I'll be on mute, but I want to hear what's going on in your world.

So I'll be back.

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OK.

Well, I I mean, I just love hearing about your, I mean honestly shocked that you're taking a break from Instagram and I don't mean that.

And any hope that doesn't come across only because you're so good at it and you're so consistent with it and it's been like something that you've like done so regularly for so long.

25:58

I'm just like super proud of you.

I'm really, really excited to see, like, how I don't know what what comes of it because gosh, I've been on a Instagram or like a social media journey for like a long time.

I can't even remember what year it was that I did that.

26:13

So I read that book, How to Break Up with Your Phone.

And I read it.

I did like all the exercises and it was like 30.

I think it's like 30 days of exercises in regards to like kind of slowly disengaging your life from this phone.

26:29

And and then I took that, Gosh, it was back.

Oh, right.

And then it was like, I can't remember exactly how long I was off.

I think that was like close to nine months I took off of.

Was it nine months?

It was like 6 to 9 I I need to go back and check.

26:44

It was a very lengthy period of time where I just was like I'm out and it was amazing and obviously like you know there were shifts with like work and because I think my primary increment that time was beauty counter.

But like you know we adapt and we learn how to connect with people off the app.

27:01

And I feel like it just taught me a resiliency.

And you know since then I've gone through various I would say various like stages of my relationship with social media like it's complicated would be our probably current status but I am so I think one of the like bright spots of this past hard year being so like head down with work and I can I can see this potentially as part of your transition too because it's like when you have like a job that's like requires your attention for the most part during the day.

27:43

Like I I just I let personally like I I could not physically get on Instagram.

Like I could not waste I'm speaking for myself wasting because I I was a scroller and not even really creating a lot of content.

But like I couldn't physically get on there because I had so much that I needed to do.

28:01

Like I had to do.

And so it was kind of like this nice little byproduct was like OK well I slowly kind of weaned myself off of the like feeling like I had to I still get on there but I would say my time spent on social media I would like to go back and and check is wildly less.

28:19

And I I have mixed feelings about it too.

Because it's like I still, I'm working beauty counter.

I still love beauty counter.

I still love connecting with people and sharing, like sharing things.

But at the same time I don't, you know, I I kept this really.

28:38

Oh, I don't know if I want to share this.

I just kept this yucky feeling about air quotes influencing.

The other day I was watching this lovely, lovely woman.

I I know her personally.

I love her.

And she was.

I don't know.

28:57

I don't know how to describe it.

It was me.

It was me.

Like I saw myself in this woman's post and how I have, like, communicated over the years on Instagrams and how I have air quotes influenced in certain ways.

And I just kind of like, I kind of like, like I got a feeling about myself.

29:16

Not this, not this woman.

She's delightful, I guess.

But I just I'm like wrestling with what's my purpose on that that app especially now that I like have this other this, you know, food photography business that it's like growing.

So I don't know.

I don't have the answers either.

29:32

It's like I'm trying to figure out how do I?

What a cool existential moment.

I know it was like an OCKY feeling, but also to have that, like self-awareness, I think it's such a sign of growth.

And I'm not sitting here being like, you need to grow because I need to grow.

But you know what I mean?

We all need.

To grow, just put it out there.

29:48

I think that's cool and I like this idea of like if we're going to be on there, being on there with such purpose.

For me, I know I want to share the sourdough stuff that feels important to me and it feels beneficial for everyone.

I think like people want to learn how to bake sourdough in a non, non uppity, like very approachable way and I think that's what I what I share and I've built a business there I want to share.

30:12

This could be a good brainstorming session.

What do you want to share?

Well, now you have your food photography business and so doesn't sound like you're actively seeking more clients.

No, definitely not.

Not, I mean, and that's the thing, It's like I could share food photography, but like, I don't have time.

I don't want to.

30:28

I'm actually creating like.

I'm actually creating something.

I feel like if we start seeing you share a bunch of a bunch of content on social on your like a bunch of food photography, then it's like oh shoot, she needs some clients.

Yeah, I mean, that's gonna be the the red flag.

So you're not sharing.

30:45

That means things are going well.

My friend Pat Barber, he and his wife Taz, they've been on the podcast.

Taz has been on a couple times, but we were hanging with them visiting and this stuck with me.

He was like, if you see me on social media a ton, it means like I am not mentally well.

Like I'm I'm struggling and I and I I feel that like if I'm on there a ton, it's a it's coping, it's a false sense of productivity and it's a numbing out for sure.

31:08

For me it's 100.

It's not a productivity thing at all.

It's a numbing out.

It's like, I I will reach for it.

And I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Like probably the last couple of weeks.

We're like in the midst of, like, hardcore.

We're trying to get kids to eat, to shower, to sleep, to brush their teeth.

31:28

And I'm like sneaking around the kitchen counter, just like pulling up the app and like zoning out and like, around me.

People need me.

And like, I can't do this.

Like, I can't.

It's like something.

It's it's definitely like a nervous system, soothing habit that is not like backfires, you know, because there's.

31:48

This whole yeah, it's it's sorry.

I'm just I feel very fired up because you're making such a good point and I I imagine there are a lot of people right now nodding their heads like oh shit, I do that too.

And there's like a huge and I am not like a proponent of drinking alcohol let me I think the mommy wine culture.

32:04

I think all of that is a problem.

I think it's a problem.

That said, there's a very big trend right now.

It's very cool to be like I am sober, curious, I'm cutting all alcohol and you, I mean, you were well ahead of this trend, but you know what I mean?

I don't know if you've seen that, but I've seen that and I think it's great.

32:19

But at the same time, people are doing just what you said and it's like, guess they're different.

And that one is poison in your body, especially in excessive amounts, but the other is poison in your brain and you're and you're like heart.

Like a better word.

32:36

And so I just think making more of these correlations and we can't be perfect across the board and I'm not judging anyone because I've done it for sure, but I just think this is an important conversation that we aren't having enough around social media as like and our phones in general rest of the night.

So last night we were you know having our date and I'm looking across and there's this couple that walks in with their dog and they order funnily enough I didn't mean to make this segue with what they both ordered like non alcoholic beers which is great And they sit there because I've heard touching his leg one time because I from what I was watching the time I spent looking at them, they I didn't look up from their damn phones.

33:11

Yeah.

You know and I I'm like man, I and I for me it was like a have I, have I, I've probably looked like that.

I've probably done that come here with him and we've been on our phones a ton because we're with the kids all the time or we're working all the time and that's we want to.

But I don't want to check out or recoup or re set or feel like I am recovering from the the intensity of life by looking at my phone because that is not helpful.

33:35

Well, I think that's, that's, that's the thing.

And that's what I've learned.

Taking away alcohol as a coping mechanism and then not having like as much use of my phone or social media as that escaping mechanism is one of the reasons why I think 2023 was such a freaking shit show.

33:55

Because.

You.

You, you, you feel it.

Like, you really feel it.

And it's like, again, I have 100% been there.

Like we try and make an effort not to be on our phones, like at dinner and you know, all that.

But like at the same time, it's like, I can imagine, like, I don't know those people, but I can imagine it's like at the end of the day, I did this yesterday.

34:16

I literally did this yesterday.

It was such a hard day and I knew I should probably go to bed early.

And I don't normally scroll in the evening.

And I was like, it was almost like rebellious.

I was like, I've had a hard day.

I need to disengage.

I I earned this like I I deserve to like scroll mindlessly.

34:33

I did.

I scrolled for a straight up hour last night.

How'd you feel after?

Kind of disappointed and discussing.

You had a moment.

No, this was a couple days ago.

I mean at the same time it was, it was satisfying.

I was mostly OK to be fair.

34:49

I was looking at like food, photography, inspiration.

That's like my scrolling, but I mean, it's still the same.

It was like at the end I was like, OK, it's like you need, like I had the kind of a pep time.

It's like this, is this enough?

Like I know what you're doing.

35:04

Like you're trying to zone out.

You're trying to disengage.

Like there are other way.

I mean, there are other ways to zone out and disengage that don't involve your fun.

I think that's what I'm learning is like.

Books Man.

Yeah, like they're a pretty prolific reader.

I am and I and I haven't been and I think that's like you know another thing kind of in this tangent is like I've been so like hell bent on taking care of myself, which is like supplements and water and walking and working out, going to bed early and eating and feeling and that's all amazing.

35:37

Those are foundational.

But I've take, I've cut out anytime for like reading a book for Joy or even watching a show.

With Tim, it's like we don't watch TV at all anymore, which is fine and that's that's also great.

You know, I don't think TV and us, it's like plugging TV in as your like replacement for your phone.

35:57

I don't think it's like, you know, necessarily a great trait on my part.

But at the same time, what I think I'm missing is just like joy and relaxation in terms of like what?

What do I like to do?

How can I zone out?

That feels.

Do you?

Are you a puzzle?

Person I don't think I'm a.

Puzzle Person.

36:13

But right now, we don't have a place to.

Do space.

My friend built this like just kind of like little almost like claws underneath the table and that when there's you get like a piece of wood, plywood or whatever, and then you can build it on that and then you take it off the table and slide it under.

That's I want to do something like that, 'cause we had, we we finally finished Smokey.

36:31

We we started on January on New Year's Eve, and we finished it over the weekend, this past weekend.

And man, I loved it.

We'd finished dinner and like clean up and stuff and I'd make tea and while the girls in the bathroom would start and then we'd get them all, you know, dried up and jammied.

And then we'd all just like sit around the table and the girls would just kind of like we'd all just.

36:48

And I like I don't think there's anything wrong.

It's like when Russ and I have a show when we were watching soccer, Ted Lasso.

Oh yeah, I loved it And it's we could talk about it during the day and it's.

I think it's way different than being sitting next to each other and scrolling.

Sitting next to each other and watching something together is way different in my opinion.

37:05

But I love puzzling because we can be chatting and engaging and all that, where if you're watching something it's hard to talk, you know, and the girls couldn't participate with us, whereas some of the shows we watch, maybe we don't want them there for that.

Yeah, so and I don't we don't really like to give them any screens at in the evenings or whatever.

37:22

So puzzling is huge.

That's been great.

And then I'm trying to always like if I have free time, Your Tummy hurts again, read a book or go for a walk.

Someone's tummy hurts.

I wish you could hear this.

This mic.

37:37

Is this headset so good you probably can't hear her, but she's just chatting right now.

You want to say hi?

Hi.

Anyways, I I think it's kind of fun that we took this episode and I drove this way because at least for this segment, because I think again, it's a conversation that we need to be having more often and you can't, you can't hold that, sweetie, that's my, that's my work computer and I look forward to kind of continuing to share here.

38:02

If y'all are interested, if you're listening and you're like, oh, please do share more of your experience, let me know and I will, because who knows, maybe I might just get back on social and not have share any big epiphanies there.

You know, I might just share that here and kind of use that space more as just disseminating information about my business and sharing recipes and sharing that kind of thing.

38:21

And I do like sharing bits of our life and like my motherhood musings.

But again, to what point?

I don't necessarily.

What do you want?

I don't necessarily want to have my phone out with them all the time and be taking pictures and capturing their faces all the time, you know?

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What else is going on with you?

Yeah, I mean, I it's like and I I also want to say like absolutely no judgement.

I know a lot of this couldn't come out like, at least for me, sounding harsh, but it's mostly like my harsh revelations with myself.

40:26

And that may or may not resonate with you.

You may be like, I don't have a problem and that's fine.

And life is great and I love social media.

I have a feeling most people are not like, oh, I love social media so much.

It's like this weird, gripping, like love, hate relationship that we have with it, where it's like that kind of FOMO where it's so complicated.

40:47

Yeah, it's very, very complicated.

And we're not going to solve it in an episode.

That makes me feel mad.

Yeah, it's.

I mean, we are.

Our minds are getting manipulated to a certain extent by this, like need for social media.

And if you're someone who's like, I can ditch it anytime.

41:04

Cool, great.

That's not me.

That's it.

Take it took a process of like a revelation about how intertwined it was with my sense of self worth, my sense of community, my sense of like value, and how intertwined it was with my attention and what it was, what it was my my real revelation was when I'm on social media, especially in front of my family, what am I missing out on in that moment?

41:34

And and usually the answer for me was like, I'm missing out on face to FaceTime with the people that I love the most, who matter the most to me.

And so that is really the revelation that kind of, like spurred me on to just examining it and it's what spurred me on it.

It spurs me on to a lot of like, what I would, you know, some people would potentially consider a radical like decisions, you know, ditching alcohol and ditching social media.

41:59

It's always for like, how am I showing up in my world with my, my people?

And anyways, I don't know.

I just think we have gotten so used to as a culture, not feeling the things you know or but like, but not.

42:17

It's like outrage is cool.

Social media outrage is cool, right?

Like you can post it on social media and be so like everyone's like so.

Cool and be so woke.

Yes, like, so amped up.

But at the same time, like, not.

42:32

I don't know.

It's like, it's like this weird existence, like duality of like, I don't know, just like anger and outrage and then like numbness at the same time.

And I don't even know if that makes any sense.

It's just.

42:49

I think it's aligned with this like false sense of of productivity, especially when they're, you know we have access you get on the Internet, on the social media app and you see so and so's doing so and so or this is happening in this place in the world and you feel, you feel helpless to make a difference and you feel all these emotions And the easiest quote, UN quote way to be productive with those emotions is to say something inflammatory or intense on the Internet.

43:19

And that feels good for a moment and then but it's not actually productive.

You know what's way more productive is sitting with your partner at Angela's Tap Room and playing slapjack and having conversations about life and what matters.

And yes it's one person you're reaching, but in reaching that one person you're also processing a lot in a productive way yourself and then you get to go home.

43:42

And this is obviously me just speaking about my very N = 1 experience yesterday.

Go home.

And then I had so much more space for my kids when I got home because I had been able to process through something with someone who hears me and sees me and knows me.

And I might say something that I don't actually mean or I might come out wrong, but he's not going to come back and be like you asshole on the Internet.

44:02

You know, he's going to be like, hey, have you thought about it this way?

And then we could talk about it And then Oh my gosh, I just learned something.

And then so and then this weekend I'm having two girlfriends over and they're bringing their kids and we're going to make sourdough tortilla tacos and we'll have some great conversations and we don't, this is like a kind of a trickle over from last catch up where might not agree with everything that we do as parents or humans or you know, but it's going to be productive and cup filling because it's just the three of us and we're in person and we're looking at each other and hugging each other and touching each other and eating together and preparing food and more of that.

44:34

Absolutely and and and what I'm seeing you say what I also like feel deeply.

It's like it's not about sticking your head in the sand and being like I I can't handle this whatever it is like news or politics or you know world events and you know all of that.

44:50

It's not saying like I don't want to deal with this.

It's saying what is actually productive.

What can I do.

What is helpful is it, you know outrage on social media and getting into arguments and people with people on in the DMS about like differing ideals or whatever.

45:10

Like rarely ever is that going to actually change someone's mind or educate yourself or get a new opinion.

It's like you said, it's like, OK, I would much rather sit down with Tim and be like, hey, this is like what's happening in the world?

45:27

Like what can we do?

Like what?

What is what are the things that we can do?

And you know, I don't know.

And and it's just a whole thing.

I don't even want to get too much more into it because.

Yeah, it felt good to There we go.

I mean, this felt good, but it felt more productive than me getting on.

45:43

I've thought about that too.

Like getting in stories and explaining this, these profound feelings that I'm having.

I don't know how far I would get, but being able to come on here and just have an hour to verbally vomit on you all and you might disagree with me.

And again, to reiterate with Jessica, I don't think I've said it yet.

45:59

This is not a judgement on anyone else.

This is me experiencing this moment of awakening you and just sharing what I'm picking up on for my own journey and experience and not saying that you because you're on social media frequently.

46:14

This isn't your experience, This is mine.

Remember that.

Always.

Always.

Yeah.

But.

For me, it's been big and and it's going to be something that I work through.

Maybe it will end up being nine months.

I have no idea.

I don't think it will be that long because I I have events and products that I want to share and be able to disseminate information.

46:39

But I just need to be able to do that with a much better relationship with this tool on my phone, treat it again.

I think I keep coming back to like my newsletter.

So once or twice a week I get on there, I share some things and then I and then I'm off.

You want more anyways, so that out with that.

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You have any other non social media?

I mean I think overall life is going OK over here.

48:52

I think my again like just really affected by like my like period, my cycle phases.

So like first three weeks of this new cycle, like after my post period, I'm like high energy kicking ass.

49:08

Taking names like this is great.

I'm taking care of myself so hard and you know I'm working and we're bouncing all the things.

And then it was like literally Monday and possibly coinciding with some bizarre weather that we're having here.

49:23

But it was like it was just like deflated balloon.

I'm like, what am I doing?

Like I don't even know if this is helping, so but it's like it just it's like clockwork.

I know in about a week I'm going to be, it's just going to be back to feeling on top of the world.

But overall doing really well, making some commitments to myself, working out, getting stronger.

49:44

My back has been feeling better than it ever has since since about a year ago in February is when I hurt my back.

So feeling really strong and stable, feeling really in tune with it.

So like I mentioned today after a long shoot day where I'm not at home because at home I have a set up to where I don't have to like bend over as much I feel it.

50:04

And so today I just you know listened and worked through that and so that's good.

Business is rocking and rolling new, got new clients in a different way.

I'm doing some project, excuse me project bit based work instead of like recurring stuff which feels a lot more manageable.

50:20

And I'm able to kind of fill in gaps where like my monthly clients have to send me the recipes and sometimes they're just, you know, they've got life and stuff too.

And it's not ahead of time.

So I'm like, OK, I have a day where I don't have.

So I can use this project based work to fill in those gaps and create some beautiful work for some new from some new people.

50:39

So I'm really excited about that.

And the kids, you know, it's I just, I don't know, we're just in a complicated phase.

Tammy, Tammy got a haircut.

My God, she got a Bob and she's adorable and she was, she's just one of those kids she like.

50:56

One day she was like, I want a Bob.

And and so we kind of, you know, not talked her out of it.

But we're like, Are you sure?

Let's look at pictures.

Are you sure it's what you want to do.

And she never once wavered.

And so we walked into the haircut place.

She got a Bob.

She absolutely loved it.

51:12

She just talks about it every day.

I love my haircut so much.

I'm like, OK, great.

She's happy.

She looks adorable.

She looks 10 years older.

It's bizarre.

And then Bear is he actually has a play tonight.

He is Puck in Midsummer Night's Dream the musical version what their their skull is doing.

51:33

I'm so intrigued.

He is a little performer so I'm sure he's and he like it's just bananas kids memories.

He knows all his lines.

We never like, he did it all on his own.

Like he, you know, we'd ask, like do you need to press your lines?

And he he's like, no, I've got it.

And he does.

51:50

And that was fun.

We went on Saturday.

We had like a little, like work day.

Cammy wasn't feeling super great, so it was Bear and I, and we're both artistic.

Cammy's artistic and I've always like kind of pegged her as like, she's the artistic one.

52:05

She's so creative.

We have that in common.

But Bear and I, it's art.

It's like art in a different way.

So we had this big banner and we had to like, put these this word on.

I think it said, oh, we're going to write Athens at the top.

And then we had to draw, draw in the middle and paint the owl of Athena.

52:23

And so we like he's he has kind of like a or like a mechanical mind as well.

So he's like, OK, we're going to measure the banner.

We're going to measure how many letters there are or count how many letters there are and then we're going to see how big they each need to be.

And then we're going to measure that out.

52:39

So we did all that.

And then I drew, like, pulled out, like one of my it's just like a weird.

It's not weird, but it's it's one of these things where I just, like, have always been able to do.

I'm at a good copycat artist.

So, like, I I can't just like, go draw an owl on my own and be like, wow, that's amazing.

52:57

But like, if you give me a picture of an owl, I will nail it.

Like, I will recreate it like no other.

So we pulled up the Owl of Athena.

I drew it out on pencil and then we painted it and bare the whole time.

I was like, wow, mom, you're really good.

53:12

Like, I didn't know you were a good artist.

So we just, like, had a good time.

And then afterwards we were driving home.

He was like, I had so much fun with you.

He told me that he was like, I didn't think it was going to be fun.

I didn't want to go, but we ended up having a great time.

So that was great.

They went to a soccer game. the US men's team played here in San Antonio.

53:31

And him and Tim went to that on Saturday.

And Kim and I just kind of hung out.

She drew, like, we found this YouTube channel where it's just like this dad and his son.

He's like teaching his son how to draw things.

And so she drew, I mean, just epic amounts of things, like caught up on some work.

53:47

And yeah, now we're just in this week and trying to make it through.

We're having Tim and I, our our kids are going to spend the night at our friends again.

The bazons in New Braunfels on Saturday.

And I legit almost cried because Tim was like, OK, he's like my plan for Saturday because we were like, we could go out, like on a date, like go out to eat.

54:08

And I just was like, I like, I don't know, which just wasn't feeling, He's like, OK, I'm going to get us rib eye steaks.

I'm going to cook them.

I'm going to make like a nice dessert, like a homemade dessert.

And he he's like, and then we can just like binge watch any TV show that you want.

And I like, I cried.

54:24

I literally cried because I was like, oh, my, I like that's exactly what I want to do.

I don't know, it's probably the hormones.

But I'm so looking forward to it because there is something beautiful and wonderful that I love about going out to eat in nice restaurant experiences and all that, which we did last weekend.

54:42

And but like for me, I just want to be able to like be at home and veg with my with my person sometimes when I get those relaxing opportunities.

So that's what we're doing.

I don't think there's any other big our cars in the shop.

54:58

It's a big bummer.

It's costing a ton of money to fix, but hopefully we'll get it back today and things will be OK.

But yeah, I don't think there's any other big, big things.

What about you?

Do you want to give us the, like, brief rundown of OK, I mean, you don't have to keep it brief.

55:18

Brief is, yeah, I mean we were supposed to go to Bend last week.

We were going to leave on Wednesday evening.

We had a hotel in White Salmon.

We were going to drive.

So it's like 4 1/2 and then in the next 2 1/2 the next morning and it just started unexpectedly just started dumping.

So like dumping here like I don't probably more so than I've ever seen in one dump in our in our town and we, I already had the dog border set up, took the dogs.

55:42

We were like, I think we can do this, you know and then it comes time to it and Rusty had the day off because of a series of events.

So we like we're all ready and then we just decided that like pretty last minute that it just it's wouldn't be a safe choice.

And so we're like, well we have the time off and we love Bainbridge Island.

56:01

You know there's good food and we've been wanting to do that.

The aquarium in Seattle and you can just walk on the ferry from Bainbridge and walk off and then walk right there to the aquarium.

So we decided to do that.

So we changed plans.

The very last minute I booked an Airbnb at a place that we stayed before and we just the next we were going to leave that evening and I was like why we don't need to after Russ gets off work.

56:22

We can just go tomorrow morning have a slow roll out hit breakfast at our favorite spot and we just like I felt like we just needed and and you know continuing with my my theme my intention for this year of ease.

We still wanted to go do something because we had it in our brains.

We were going to go on a little adventure but how can we make it the easiest possible.

56:40

You know it's going places going somewhere we've already been and we know we love and but having some element of new we hadn't been to the aquarium so that was new for us and we knew the girls would love it and it was just it was lovely and of course I mean you know I I we adventure.

We travel.

It's never perfect indeed.

56:57

The girls where we were in Seattle, it was drizzling.

The the girls were spinning as we waited for a light to turn so we could cross the street.

Her hands were in her pockets.

She face planted and couldn't catch.

Herself Who, Indy or Evie?

Indy busted her lip open.

I mean, so much blood.

57:13

We were like, gosh darn it, we're going to have to go to urgent care in Seattle.

In a city like, I don't want to deal with this, but we got, you know, we were using wet wipes to stop the bleeding and it was her mouth.

So it was like it seemed extra excessive, but we got the bleeding to stop and Texan's naturopath and she was like she, you know, she, I don't think because it stopped bleeding and it didn't go through.

57:31

But man she had a fat lip and she oh man, just bruiser.

But then we, you know we had the Airbnb and we have we got back on the ferry.

She was fine.

She was nursing just fine.

All of that.

And we stopped the little market.

We got our favorite Bainbridge Island ice cream.

57:48

We went back to Airbnb.

We watched Hilda and reset.

Everyone was fine.

We ate ice cream and then we went out to dinner and it was just, it was lovely.

We in.

We're in a season now where the girls, like Indy, can sit at a restaurant.

Both nights we went out to a restaurant kind of expecting like, OK, worst case scenario, we'll give them like a YouTube show or something to watch, just as a backup.

58:07

It didn't have to.

Either time they colored, they we chatted.

It was so great.

So.

You have.

A poo poo.

She doesn't have a poo poo.

And then we and then it was so nice because in bed we were going to go from Wednesday night all the way to Sunday.

We wouldn't have gotten home till later on Sunday, but we came.

58:23

We cruised home on Saturday midday after spending some time at one of our favorite beaches.

And we then we had Saturday afternoon into the evening and all day Sunday and Sunday, I could just feel my whole nervous system down regulating.

I like laid on the couch.

I read my book.

58:38

We went for a walk.

We just we just were you know and the the snow is now gone and it's been a warmer week and life is life is good.

So and that's one thing I said in the post when I was like, I'm taking the time away, I guess to round it out again on the social media is I I think it's because I'm feeling discontentment and really wanting to prioritize ease in my life and time with my kids that I'm realizing it's going so fast.

59:02

You know, I I feel like because life is good, I want to it's it's allowed me the space to realize that I want us.

I want to step away, you know, versus life being really hard.

So I need to step away.

It's more like, like, I think that's part of why I am stepping away from social medias because life just feels really good right now.

59:18

And I don't.

I don't necessarily need that sense of false sense of productivity or that whatever it is, whatever it that was giving me right now in this moment, I don't feel like I need it enough to stay on when my body is telling me to to step away.

So yeah, that's.

Powerful.

Life is good and we have a lot, actually a significantly full spring coming.

59:36

So it was felt nice to go to Bainbridge and then Rusty has three weekends away.

And then we're doing the trip to California for his birthday, where I've set up some fun surprises.

And then I've got a couple.

I've got my girlfriends coming to Bainbridge.

I'm going to meet them for three nights, so it'll be the longest I've been away from Miss Indy and then I'm going just flying down for a quick trip to California at the end of April for my cousin's wedding.

59:59

So it's like there's little trips and stuff going on.

It's just it's full and resting.

I have one more night away and you know just gearing up for making sure we get some good quality time and that I get some good Mama alone time before summer starts and he is back to the wildland fire and you know.

1:00:15

We we.

We.

You.

You.

You.

Joined me through that journey.

Those of you who've been listening for a while last summer, magical, pure chaos of it all.

So I feel better equipped this year.

You know, barring any emergency appendectomies again and and all of that should be it should be a nice segue into a fire season feeling more equipped, better equipped and especially like a better balance.

1:00:37

Because I know I used social media a lot last summer too.

Again, that false sense of productivity when I felt like everything was kind of like I don't have any time to work and now I do have time, I do and I don't need to be on there.

So I think that was the quick and dirty of the latest, I think here.

And I just, I look forward, I'm going to look forward to these episodes that much more too.

1:00:55

I think because I'm not sharing this every somewhere else all the time on the day-to-day, like, oh, I got to come on here and just cathartically share with all of you who have invested in US.

You know, you tune in whether it's every week or on occasion or whatever, you're listening to this right now.

That means you've invested in US and that's a lot.

1:01:12

So thank you.

Yeah, absolutely.

Good times.

How are you?

Any final thoughts to share?

No, I'm just grateful for this.

To me, I was just thinking like, you know me, I'm like, did I say anything that was like offensive?

But at the same time, I'm like, bye now.

1:01:30

I just feel like even if I inadvertently, like, said something that was like bothersome to someone, I feel like I have grace from most of our listeners, you know, it's like you.

You guys understand.

It's like, I don't know.

I just don't feel like I have to apologize as much anymore as maybe I did like three years ago for just simply talking about my own journey, you know what I mean?

1:01:53

It's like I shouldn't have to apologize for that even though.

It's not like we figure this stuff out before we get on here.

Gosh, we just get.

This is where we.

Figure it out.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And it's like real time, real time processing.

But it's like, I also just feel really confident that our, our community is like, here for it, too.

1:02:12

I was listening to another podcast that I'm getting into the pop cast, which I've never, I don't know, someone sent me an episode about the family Stone.

So my friend Megan and I listened to it and then I was like, these people are funny.

And so apparently they're like a huge podcast.

1:02:28

And it's like, you know, they say some like pretty, like spicy things and some things that like, I don't necessarily, I'm like, I don't know, but I'm still like, they're so hilarious.

Like, I don't care.

Like it's just funny.

It's entertaining.

It's like it's, it's, it's, I don't know.

1:02:45

It gave me perspective on people that might be listening to us because I was like, oh, they might not fully agree very.

Vanilla.

Yeah, we're putting vanilla along the same lines that Girls Got to Eat podcast, that is.

I mean, it's raunchy.

It's amazing.

They sell sex toys, they talk about everything.

1:03:03

Nothing's off limits.

And it's a breath of our share, I think.

Yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

That's what I guess I was like, feeling.

I was losing to it.

I was like, Oh my gosh.

Like whoa, whoa.

Nice kind of discomfort.

It's not the kind of discomfort that you go from when like, someone is.

You can tell they're actively trying to filter themselves.

1:03:19

That's uncomfortable for me.

Like, I know what you actually want to say, just say it.

But when someone just says exactly what they want to say, it's like, man, I might not agree with you, but but thank you for just saying what you think.

Totally more of that.

More of that 2024.

More of I might not agree with you, but I appreciate your your opinion.

1:03:36

Yes.

Anyways, I don't have anything else to say besides.

There's a lot going on over here.

No, it comes up and thanks for bearing.

I'm not gonna apologize.

I'm gonna say thank you for bearing with me crew as everyone woke up hello full moon earlier than usual.

Usually I'm like good to go all through this podcast, but not today so.

1:03:52

All good.

We made it through and poop and.

On with the day.

On with the day off with the social media.

Awesome friends.

Thanks for tuning in.

We will see you next week.

We love you.

Bye.

I don't know what to say.

1:04:08

Thanks for listening to our podcast.

See you next time.

Thanks for listening to our podcast.

See you next time.

Bye, music.